


Remember Us

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abuse, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Aftermath, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bottom Jensen, Brainwashing, Dark Misha, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Evil Misha, Healing Jensen, Homophobic Language, Hurt Jensen, Hurt Jensen Ackles, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lost Love, M/M, Manipulation, Medical Torture, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Protective Jared, Psychological Torture, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Stubborn Jensen, Supernatural and J2 Big Bang Challenge 2015, Tags May Change, Top Jared, Triggers, Unrequited Love, Upset Jared, Verbal Abuse, some schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 123,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4237014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Small town journalist Jared Padalecki has never been interested in political intrigue, but that changes when he encounters a person from his past, someone he believed was gone forever.</p><p>Jensen Ackles is running for senate on a campaign steeped in hatred and bigotry. After spending a year in what he believed was a coma, he has spent the last six years trying to piece his life together under the watchful eyes of his powerful family.</p><p>Everything changes when Jensen is confronted at a debate by a man he doesn’t recognize but who claims to not only know him but be the father of Jensen’s son. These revelations stun him and start a chain of events that will leave both men changed forever as layers of lies are revealed and the danger increases when Jensen begins to remember what no one wanted him to</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: The usual for explicit violence, sexual content, language. I'll also toss out a trigger warning as this one has some darker subject matters so beware of this.  
> Also, most of the dark stuff is not shown. It is mentioned in dialogue or description as it happened in the past with the exception of one part and I warn for that.  
> Read all tags before reading. The Mpreg in the start of the story is in mentioned as it's already happened but toward the end the subject is brought up again. While it contains Mpreg it has no A/B/O involved.
> 
> The minor character death does not involve either main character and is not actually shown but implied and yes, there will be a happy ending. Also, it has a much darker Misha than I have written so be aware of this as well. This is a bottom Jensen fic as well.
> 
> Beta'd By: Cappy712 and Lotrspnfangirl.
> 
> Art by: spikesSire (Thank you for the wonderful art!)
> 
> Author Note: This is my entry to this year's SPN-J2 BigBang over on LJ so all the links will be there under my name of morganadw if you want to see the artist journal.  
> As with all my J2 AU pieces this one took on a life of its own once I started it and it came close to missing the deadline given I was working on Debts Owed before I started this one.  
> I know even minor Mpreg or bottom Jensen isn't everyone's cup of tea so I hope those you do read it enjoy it.  
> Just read the tags, read the warnings as this one has some darker elements in some cases or I should say a couple darker than usual characters but like with all my stories I promise a happy ending for the boys.

 

 

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter One**

** Current: Birkshead, North Carolina: **

Jared Padalecki rubbed a hand over his face, wincing as he touched the bruise on his jaw which was still deep and very visible. He was glad the swelling under his eyes had gone down, even if he still ached and had bruises and cracked ribs that he had to hide from his seven-year-old son.

“Damn it,” he muttered softly. He stood in the doorway of his son’s room and watched the little boy sleeping in his race car bed; the bed that he would soon be too big for. He felt a pang of regret that yet another thing from his little boy’s childhood would be packed away and be given to charity. Jared knew he’d never have another son, or any other children for that matter, so it was pointless to keep it.

Nicholas Ross Padalecki was the pride and joy of the 31-year-old single father’s life. He was also the only reminder left of a love Jared had nearly all his life and lost too suddenly.

Most people in their small town called him Nicky. Nicky had the same long limbs, energetic boyish enthusiasm, and dimpled smile as Jared. He also had a quiet, thoughtful side. He could sit for hours and his deep green eyes would just watch the world go by.

He had a head full of light, blond hair. Jared knew in his heart that one day it would turn dark blond instead of brown, like his. He also had a face full of light freckles that Jared used to spend hours counting when Nicky had been an infant, crying his little eyes out. Jared felt like doing that so often in those early days, too, when their world had been rocked.

Seven years later, it still confused and hurt him to think of that loss… Especially now that he knew the truth was even more hurtful than he’d allowed himself to believe.

Jared wasn’t sure what he should do now since his choices were limited, being a poor, small-town reporter living paycheck to paycheck. He didn’t want to place his son in danger by opening a can of worms that he knew he wouldn’t be able to win, and he knew he had no chance in hell of fighting the wealthy Texas family that had not only stolen his world but also an innocent man’s whole existence.

Closing the door to Nicky’s room, Jared walked downstairs and stared at the briefcase with his current assignment sitting in it. He’d taken the story on a possible political scandal back in his old hometown. Believe it or not, it wasn’t because he wanted to go back to the damn place that had never accepted him to begin with.

No, as far as the 6’4” broad-shouldered man was concerned, if he heard that whole damn place had burned to the ground after being struck with lightning, he wouldn’t give a damn—except for one thing. It was that one thing that kept him from turning in his report to Jeff so it could go to print.

He’d taken the story; demanded it, even. Even though politics wasn’t his area of expertise, it hit too close to home… A single look at the photo that day on the bulletin board had brought Jared’s painful past rushing back. It brought up a million questions and a lot of anger. He’d been determined to find the answers regardless of the cost. Now he just felt hurt, confused, and unsure.

Slumping down on the worn-out sofa, Jared scrubbed his face while staring over at an empty frame on the wall. He felt his eyes start to burn again. He had a copy, of course, and he knew he’d been acting out of anger when he’d thrown the photo in the face of the man who sent him from North Carolina to Texas. Still it didn’t stop him from feeling betrayed, hurt, confused, and angry. He closed his eyes as he remembered the moment that photo had been taken in the hospital.

It was the only photo of his complete family: Jared, Nicky, who was two days old, and…Jared’s head snapped up at the sound of his doorbell ringing. He stood up and warily walked over to look out the small opening to see who was at his door. It was nearly one in the damn morning.

Very few people, except for the friends he had here, ever visited. His own family had written him off years earlier and, considering how he’d left Texas, Jared was more than a little wary in case that hornet’s nest he’d knocked down decided to follow him home to complete the threats he’d been given back there.

Looking out, he frowned and blinked several times to be sure of what he was seeing. He jerked the door open and stared into deep, green eyes-so much like Nicky’s it made his heart hurt to keep his face neutral as he stared into the face of…

“Jensen… Sorry, I guess that’s Mr. Ackles still; until you win that Senate seat in a few months. Why are you on my doorstep?” Jared knew he sounded cold and angry and that might’ve been true but he also didn’t want this crap brought near the little sleeping boy upstairs. “Didn’t you say enough back in Shepherd’s Port? Or…That’s right, you didn’t say anything. Your damn racist father and his hired thugs said it all when he had them jump me that night.

“This is my home. This is where my son is sleeping upstairs with no idea of what I learned about back there. I won’t destroy his little heart any more than when he was a month old. I won’t let all the stories I told him about the person who gave birth to him be made into lies; lies told by bigoted assholes who believe how he was conceived is a sin. Or that he shouldn’t be here because I fell in love with someone I thought loved me and would fight for that love and our son as much as _I_ would’ve fought for both of you… as much as I would still fight if I thought it was worth it.” Jared fought to keep his voice low in case Nicky woke up but it was hard. His heart hammered in his chest and his eyes burned as he battled back tears and a rush of emotion that had been buried for seven years. He looked back at the man who’d not only broken his heart but crushed his dreams. “I…” He shook his head and prepared to shut the door.

“I can’t do this here. I don’t know why you’re here or if your bodyguards are waiting to jump me if I step out my door but I just can’t do it, Jensen. I know I took the assignment to go to Texas and try to find out how you could run on that damn platform or who was really pulling the strings but… I’ll take the threats, the beatings, and the risk to my life but I can’t risk Nicky’s life or let him find out that his… that you… I can’t. I…” Jared needed to get away from this before he broke down and lost it. He’d almost had the door shut when a hand suddenly slapped against it and pushed slightly while a foot came forward enough to block him from shoving the door closed.

Jared’s control was wire thin right then. He knew he had strength enough to shove the man back and shut his door but something stopped him; a voice spoke up.

“Wait, please.” Jensen Ackles wasn’t sure what he was doing exactly or if it was a good move. He knew he might be bringing more trouble than what was worth it to Jared’s door, but he knew if he did nothing else with the now seemingly shambles of his life, it was this. He had to risk not only his so-called career but probably his very life by coming to this small North Carolina town and facing this man; the man who’d managed to turn his world upside down in just a few seconds with just a few words.

At first, Jensen wasn’t sure if he’d be given the time to speak, so he rushed forward while he could. Earlier, he’d seen his mother furiously toss something in a trash can, and he’d grabbed it and looked at it. He now held it out.

“I didn’t know,” he said quickly. He felt a little relieved when the door opened again; only a little, though, so he could only see the many emotions staring back at him from a tired eye;a tired  hazel eye that he somehow knew would be flecked with gold and blue if the light was right. He knew he only had a moment of time, so after trying to remove the worst of the creases, he held the crinkled photo against the crack in the door. He saw Jared’s face change as he realized it was the same photo he’d thrown at Jensen in the middle of a press conference in Texas only a day or so earlier.

The photo had been damaged by his parents but Jensen had done what he could to salvage it. Once he’d been alone and looked at it, the photo as well as the words hurled at him, had brought back a rush of painful and confusing things. He’d collapsed sobbing in a corner of his office as the photo of the beautiful little baby with big green eyes, a soft layer of pale blond hair and the beginnings of dimples was held between this man in front of him and himself, and the man he used to be.

“I… I didn’t know,” he said, voice breaking. He watched Jared take the photo that had once hung in his house before looking back at him warily and with confusion. “I didn’t know…” he said again. His head started buzzing and his body felt hot and cold. Jensen knew he was falling. Strong hands, hands he somehow knew in his heart, reached out to catch him. “I didn’t know. Please…” He saw white and then nothing. Before darkness claimed him, he thought he heard something; something else that he realized he’d heard many times before.

“Jen.”

** A Week Earlier: **

“There’s something massively rotten in Texas or else I’ve been looking into scandals and crooked politicians too long and I’ve become jaded. This is a load of bullshit that stinks of something being covered up by someone and I want it looked into! There’re enough politicians in Washington that suck without sending someone who’s both a bigoted asshole and one who looks like he’s a puppet on a string to join them!”

For the past six years he’d worked at the local paper. He now entered the main newsroom, hearing the gruff, disgusted voice of his boss and editor, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He was yelling as he pinned a photo to the board where all the new stories went.

Birkshead was a small, friendly town on the coast of North Carolina. It had the small town feel without making a newcomer feel unwelcome or looked down upon for maybe being a little different.

As a single father of a seven year old son, Jared quickly learned that while a lot of old time prejudices didn’t exist so much these days, a few more certainly did in some places. Being a single man with a son, for example, still warranted him some odd looks before moving here.

It was important for Jared to raise Nicholas-or Nicky as he liked to be called-in a place without prejudice and hate or in a place where he might be looked at differently because he only had one parent or because Jared refused to speak too much regarding his son’s other parent.

Jared knew they’d been the talk of the small town when he first bought the run down two story house on the outskirts and enrolled his son in school.

Single parents weren’t unheard of but they were few and far between in smaller Southern towns. Still, Jared had been surprised at how easily people accepted them. After only a day of living there, the local kids started coming around, asking Nicky to play or ride bikes on the sidewalk; a friendly older woman appeared on the porch one day with a casserole. She’d seen Jared working outside the home all day and wanted to give them a home cooked meal.

Friendly people were a new thing for Jared. He’d grown up in a small rural Texas town on the wrong side of the tracks, so that was one strike against him. Then his father killed himself out of shame when he learned that his oldest son had a mild learning disability that would keep him from getting into a good college. That had marked Jared as different, but what had finished it was when he’d come out as gay at 16 rather than hide it.

Gay and lesbian rights had been accepted by the government for years but some places still fought it and still bullied and discriminated against those with the courage to come out openly. Shepherd’s Port, Texas had been such a town and had made Jared’s life a living hell. His only saving grace had been his best friend.

It was that friendship, the support and care that slowly turned into a deep and unending love that gave Jared the courage to come out so he could support his friend when he did. Of course then, neither of them had given much thought to how his friend’s wealthy and important family would react.

As Jared worked to make a life for himself and his son these days, he thought back to decisions he’d made when he was younger. He supposed he should’ve thought things through more but he’d been young and in love. He’d just wanted to make a life with who he loved and who loved him back… or he thought had loved him back.

Shaking himself out of those thoughts, he tossed his jacket over a chair by his desk. “What’s got Jeff all riled up?” he asked one of the other reporters in the room. “He doesn’t usually shoot flames out of his nose like this unless he smells a huge cover-up.”

“Elections always bring out his nose for a cover-up. It’s especially bad this year, with all the people running on anti-gay, anti-male pregnancy platforms and that always pisses him off,” Danneel Harris replied. She leaned back in her chair and eyed Jared like she always did.

Dani was one of the first reporters to take Jared under her wing when he first started at the paper as a simple runner or go-getter. It was the slender, pretty, redhead that caught onto Jared’s quick brain and love of writing even if he said he couldn’t be a reporter because he was mildly dyslexic. It was also Dani who’d managed to pull the truth out of Jared regarding why he didn’t date and why he tended to stay to himself even though he’d made friends in Birkshead.

Jared was friendly and polite. The young father with the dimpled smile was always quick to help out at PTA functions for the school, and he would help the summer soccer team that Nicky played on. However, he was also a private, reserved person who tended to shut down if anyone, male or female, got too close or began pressuring him in any way or if they happened to want to pull him into a conversation on one of the more hot button topics around those days.

While homosexuality had basically been made legal, the much more controversial topic of male pregnancy, while legalized, was still a sore topic in some states and sometimes even in some towns in states that had already accepted it.

More than 50 years ago, it was discovered that a rare gene existed in some men’s DNA that gave them an extra gene allowing them to not only conceive a child with another man but also give birth. This had immediately set off a firestorm of hate, bigotry, violence, and even shame.

Radical groups who still fought the gay rights bill now locked on those who carried the MPG or male pregnancy gene. The radical groups labeled them as sinful, creatures of sin, monsters, abnormal and all of the other foul names they could come up with. Churches and people fought to sterilize those who carried the gene so they couldn’t conceive or locked them away in hospitals. When the gene’s discovery was still new, several carriers had been locked away or been forcibly sterilized, especially if their family were well off and could afford to do it.

Over the years, some legislators in Washington began to see that those who had the gene weren’t any different than woman who carried babies and should be given the same rights, so laws were passed to protect them. States now battled to overturn the law or to have their state be exempt from it. Some towns and local counties tried to make it illegal for gays, or those who might carry the gene, to live in their towns. Some also wanted to force the carriers to sign a list so they can be labeled as such. They were banned from places who found it wrong and they couldn’t be hired or even allowed in particular places.

Birkshead and all of North Carolina were Pro-Life in all ways. While there were still a few bigots here and there, the local government had passed what they called ‘Safe’ Laws to protect all of its citizens while other states still looked to ban or destroy lives.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan was a staunch defender of everyone. He’d marched and fought for civil liberties in his youth. His newspaper, while small, was also developing a reputation for honesty and exposing scandals that other papers ignored.

Jared had immediately liked the gruff older man. He’d met him when he answered an ad for help at the paper. He’d needed a job to pay the bills and keep his son in clothes and with food. It wasn’t easy to find work as the new guy in a small town. One so private as Jared tended to always be the new guy, so he was happy when Jeff offered him a job on the spot.

Now, after six years, Jared was one of the paper’s better reporters after Dani helped get him over his own stumbling blocks. She introduced him to a computer program that helped him with his dyslexia. While he’d gotten over the worst of it, there were still moments when he would mess up; usually if he was rushed or nervous.

He mainly handled the local end of things; never any of the high profile stories like politics or scandals. Jared didn’t like the attention that could sometimes bring on to the reporters or their families. He was happy writing about local sports, or the Schuberts’ 65th Anniversary last weekend. He planned to ignore the new posting, knowing either Dani or one of the others would get it and do a great job with it. They had the fire for such things. Yes, Jared was passionate about both subjects and protecting the rights of all people but he felt he had too many secrets to risk taking that on.

So he would have bypassed the board altogether. However, he jerked his head up suddenly, as he heard something interesting.

“This guy out of bumfuck Texas is spouting crap that I haven’t heard in more than 20 years in this business,” Jeff was saying. He leaned on a desk while several of his reporters started gathering around. “When words like ‘sterilizing the sinners’ or ‘locking them away from normal folk’ start coming out of a politician’s mouth, it’s never good. But, never mind the fiery words and fancy suit, when the guy saying them looks like someone’s got their hand up his ass, pulling his strings, I want to know who exactly in Shepherd’s Port Texas is pulling Jensen Ackles’ strings and why.”

Jared felt like he’d been punched in the gut. He heard Dani’s concerned voice calling his name as he whirled around and walked over to the board. He saw an 8x10 of a young man; tall, trim, clean-cut, in his early 30’s. He had very short, dark blond hair, and a rugged face that looked distant, hard, and cold. Green eyes stared out at the camera from behind black wire-framed glasses.

“I want this one.” Jared heard the words come out of his mouth. He wondered if his voice really sounded as hard as he thought it did and he was fairly certain his hands were shaking when he reached up and jerked the photo off the bulletin board. He stared at the face even closer, needing to be certain he wasn’t seeing things.

Everyone in the room had gone silent at this. He was rarely demanding; in fact, Jared hardly spoke up at all unless he felt strongly for something. It was clear that this demand had taken his editor off guard.

“Jared… This is something that might be a little above you right now,” Jeff replied after a moment of thought. He appreciated the boy’s passion but he also knew Jared was still basically a great big goofy kid with big eyes and a soft heart; not the type of person to take on a hardcore political scandal or deal with what came from those types of stories. “I have something else I’d like you to-”

“No, I want this one, Jeff,” Jared turned to stare at the older, bearded man. “I need to do this story… Please?”

Dani had come over to look between Jared’s face and could see the emotion being barely contained. A muscle in his jaw twitched each time he looked down into the face in the glossy photo. She saw one of the other reporters, a new guy whose attitude didn’t quite fit the paper, start to sneer as he spoke. She stepped closer and eyed their boss. “Give it to Jared,” she said, offering a too sweet smile to the other man. “We all know this would’ve been my story. Jared wants it so let him have it. We all had to jump into the shark tank sometime, Jeff. I’ll even offer to watch Nicky while he’s gone.”

When Jared was demanding the story, it didn’t quite click in his mind that taking this story would not only mean going back to his hometown but also leaving his son for the first time ever. He almost backed out because of his own paranoia of something happening to his little boy while he wasn’t there. Another look reminded him however, that yes, he needed this not only for the paper or himself, but he also needed to do this for his son.

Jeff looked between his reporters before going back to Jared. He saw determination there but there was also something else in those big, deep eyes that caught his attention and made him not flat out refuse. “My office, Jared,” he said with a jerk of his head. To the others, he said, “The rest of you take a look. That board’s full of stories. Pick one and get to work.”

Jared stepped into the office with Jeff following close behind. Jeff shut the door and Jared took a slow breath to settle his nerves. He knew this was beyond his skills but he had to find a way to explain to Jeff why it was important to him to take this story, even if Danneel might be the better choice.

“Jeff, I… I’m sorry if I was out of line out there,” he began. He tried to sit down but was too on edge suddenly. He started pacing the small office. “I know Dani’s the better choice and has more experience but-”

“Why’s this got you so hot?” Jeff asked flat out. He sat on the edge of his desk rather than behind it and watched Jared’s nervous pacing. He noticed he was still clutching the photo that had set him off. “Jared, talk to me. We’ve had plenty of political stories come through this paper and you’ve steered clear. What is it about this one that makes you want to tackle it?”

Jared looked down at the photo in his hand again. “You’re right in guessing that something is wrong in Texas or at least something isn’t right about this campaign,” he turned and sat down, staring at the newspaper man. “Neither of those platforms are things he’d be a proponent for. He wouldn’t say those things about gays or guys who can have babies. He wouldn’t because…”

“How do you know that?” Jeff asked. He leaned forward more, realizing how serious Jared was taking this. He also needed to know exactly how he might know about what Jensen Ross Ackles would or wouldn’t say.

“I know it because it doesn’t make sense for him to be against either of these things when seven years ago, he gave birth to our son,” Jared said simply. He looked up at shocked eyes added. “Jensen Ackles is Nicky’s father and who gave birth to him.”

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Remember Us**

** **

  **Chapter Two**

Jeffrey Dean Morgan had seen and heard a lot in both his career, in the newspaper and as an ex-Marine but what he’d just heard come out of Jared Padalecki’s mouth shocked him. He’d suspected there was something not right with the Senate campaign going on in Texas but he’d never once saw _that_ revelation coming.

“Excuse me?” He knew he was probably staring when Jared dropped his eyes to the photo in his hand; a photo of a man that Jeff never would have guessed would have ever been what his reporter had just said. “Are you telling me that this man, Jensen Ackles, is Nicky’s father? He’s gay and a carrier of the breeding gene and he’s running on a platform for hate against both?” Jeff was stunned and it showed as he slumped in a chair beside Jared to rub a hand over his beard. “Seriously?”

“Jensen and I grew up together in Shepherd’s Port. He was the rich kid who could do no wrong while I was the poor kid, from the wrong side of the tracks who could do no right.” Jared began slowly, digging into his wallet for an old worn and faded snapshot that appeared to be hidden behind other photos. “He’s a year younger than I am but we were in the same grade. I was 17 and he was 16 when this was taken and by that point his folks were doing everything in their power to keep us apart.”

“You’re gay?” Jeff didn’t care but he was a little surprised. He’d assumed, like many in town, that Jared had been involved before with a woman, either married or dating, and it hadn’t worked out and he’d gained custody of the sweet faced little boy with intense green eyes. No one had ever thought or guessed that Jared might be gay or that his son had been born from another man.

“Yeah, but I’m sort of celibate now since there’s only been one man that I ever loved or will ever love, regardless of what happened.” Jared was nervous to be revealing all of this but knew he had to be honest with his boss. He’d tell Jeff the story and then take the consequences as they came. “I was the oldest of six kids. My father was a drunk who barely held a job and he beat us and my Mom. He had dreams of me going to some good college on some scholarship but when I was ten, I was finally diagnosed with mild dyslexia which explained my poor grades. Dad was so angry, and then so ashamed that his oldest son was a freak with a learning disability, that it killed him; blew his brains out in our garage.

“Mom and the family never said it until later but they blamed me for Dad’s death. Then when I was 16 and got tired of hiding it, I came out as gay and, well, that was it. I was kicked out and pretty much killed off to my whole family. Only Jensen stood by me and that got him no end of hassles from not only his family, but the town.” He looked up from under his lashes to watch Jeff as he tried to explain the town dynamics of the small town back in Texas. “Shepherd’s Port gives lip service to the government rules of being unbiased and unthreatening to gays, or hell any minority, but in reality it’s as racist as you can get in this century.

“I was already looked on as a pariah so I didn’t give a damn but it scared me when Jensen started talking about coming out because I knew his family and I knew they’d go to the ends of the earth to stop him or make sure he wasn’t a black mark on the famous Ackles’ name. Down there if a family has abundant money or enough power or adequate friends in high places— if a kid came out as gay or even worse, a carrier of the gene, then they’d…go away,” Jared frowned as he recalled asking Jensen one time naively what that meant and how haunted his then secret boyfriend had looked. “If they ever came back to town from a ‘vacation’ abroad for the summer they were different.”

“Son of a bitch,” Jeff growled and understood only too well what that meant. “He…Ackles…did he come out or…?”

Jared took his snapshot back to slip it carefully back into his wallet. “He waited until he was 21 and then told his family officially that he was gay.” He smiled a little sadly as he thought back to the person he knew. “Jensen was quiet. He wasn’t as outgoing as I was…or used to be, but he had a temper. He hated to be bullied or told what to do. So he waited until then because he knew if he’d come out at 20 his folks could still try to legally lock him up or something. He came out because he was tired of the crap I was getting from the town and from his family since I did lawn work for them.

“I was willing to keep our relationship a secret to protect him since I was used to the crap and abuse, but after Jensen came home early one day to find his brother kicking the crap out of me with a few of his buddies like they had been doing for months, he’d had enough. He stormed in the house, told his father he was sick and tired of his bigoted crap and if he thought it was such a shame to have someone gay working for him then he’d better get used to having a gay son… A gay son who was also a carrier of the MPG,” the young man cringed as remembered the screams and shouts that could be heard even outside that day. “We…we left town two days later. We found a nice little town in Louisiana that was friendly to gays and settled down to start a life. He got pregnant and nine months later Nicky was born and we were so damn happy. Or I thought we were.”

Jeff moved to grab a bottle of water from under his desk to hand it to Jared while pouring himself a cup of coffee. “What happened, Jared?” He asked and nodded to the 8x10 still clutched in Jared’s one hand. “That guy in that photo and the one that I’ve seen on TV doing speeches that are clearly memorized rote and just like he was repeating, doesn’t seem to be the guy you’re describing.”

“That’s just it, Jeff. This Jensen,” Jared waved the photo before frowning at it. “This isn’t _my_ Jensen. The man I grew up with, fell in love with, had a son with, and had would have proposed to would not be doing a campaign based on hate. Jensen hated politics. He’d refused to even run for Student Body President in High School because he was tired of having politics crammed down his throat by his family, who are big time politicians in Texas and the surrounding area.

“My Jensen just wanted to be happy, raise our son, maybe have a little girl one day and write and draw fairy tales with happy endings. I…I don’t know who this man is but the fact that he’s running at all and on those platforms, screams wrong. Otherwise, I want to know how I misjudged my best friend so badly,” he took a shaky breath as he recalled the other question and stood up to go stare out the office window.

“I was working in a diner back then. I would cook or do dishes. I just wanted to support my family since Jensen had basically been cut off when he left. All he had was the money he’d gotten out of the bank before his father realized he was serious about running off with me and we were using it for rent and baby stuff. I…I came home one night to find the baby, he was a month old, asleep in his crib but Jensen, and everything that was his, gone.” Jared looked up at his boss sadly and the pain he felt could still be seen. “I didn’t see it or didn’t want to see it, that he’d just leave me… leave our sleeping son who hadn’t been bottle fed yet because Jen…Jensen nursed him but a week later, after I’d been making noise about police reports and kidnappings, I got a ‘text’ that was supposed to be from him but I never really wanted to accept it.”

“You think he was kidnapped and forced to leave you or…do you think learning what it was like to be without that money sent him home to Daddy?” Jeff asked, quick to hold up a hand when Jared’s eyes narrowed. “You still love him, Jared?”

Jared took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “I…I love the man I knew but I also hate the man who left our baby to grow up without the awesome guy that I knew Jensen to be as his father. I hate that Nicky will never know two parents or that I have to lie to him so much about where his father is or why he left us. That I have to tell him to not answer if anyone asks him if he has a Mommy, since I had to lie to the school to get him admitted because I wasn’t sure if they’d take him if they knew I was gay. I…I hate him but is it bad that I still have feelings too?” He asked while staring at his hands rather than at Jeff.

“Have you tried to talk to him or find out what made him leave?” Jeff asked but had a hunch that the man hadn’t left on his own; if what he was suddenly thinking was true, then he knew Jared wouldn’t have been allowed anywhere close to his ex-lover.

“A month after it happened, after I’d gotten over the shock and had managed to keep both myself and Nicky going, I tried to find him, to call him, anything. I just wanted to have him look me in the damn face and tell me it was over. That would hurt but at least I could move on knowing it had been Jensen’s choice and not someone else’s. But I was confronted with some of old man Ackles’ thugs who broke my arm, a couple ribs and made it clear that if I ever tried to find or see Jensen again after he’d gotten smart and over the ‘fad of being gay’ that I’d regret it. They also forced me to change the birth certificate, to remove Jensen as the birth parent or else they said they’d get my son taken away from me as being an unfit faggot of a father,” Jared picked up the photo again to stare at it as if trying to garner any information from a single glossy photo of a man he had to wonder if he’d ever known.

“That’s why you want this story,” Jeff could understand it but he was also concerned. “Jared, if they broke your arm back then for just trying to find him it could be a lot worse if you show up back there with a press badge and asking questions, especially since you’re probably the only person either alive, or not on a payroll, that knows who Jensen Ackles once was and could destroy his whole campaign. Are you sure you just don’t want me to let Danneel go instead?” He asked, worried not only for Jared’s health but also for what might come of this in the way of retribution.

Jared sat back down to look his boss in the face. “I know I’m not your most experienced and I’m not saying I’ll do as good a job as Danneel would because yeah, I’m personally involved in this and will probably get kicked out of the city and the state but at least then she’ll have a better opening when she writes her flaming hot expose on a lies, cover-ups, and whatever the hell else I discover.” He watched the older man look back at him as if considering.

“Please, Jeff. I need to try to do this. If not for my myself and Nicky then for the Jensen I knew because this man, this man that you said spoke those awful things is not the Jensen Ackles I knew and loved. I don’t know what happened to him to make him change this much but if…if something did happen to make him change, if someone did something to him to cause this, then people should know that too.” He knew he’d said all he could and, if anything, had probably just talked himself right out of the assignment knowing Jeff almost never assigned something to a reporter that might be personally attached to the story.

“I want you to go, gather surface details if you can. Check out the debate that’s scheduled between him and his opponent, find out what you can on who’s pulling the strings on him or this campaign or who’s behind the scenes. Find out if the real power is behind the puppet and then get the goddamn hell out.” Jeff said as he stood up to go into a drawer and pull out a newspaper issued credit card as well as the file he’d been gathering on Jensen Ackles, his clearly whitewashed past and his campaign, and held it out.

“Talk to Danneel about any advice she can give you, make sure you talk to Murray down at the Sheriff office so he’ll know to start looking out for issues that might follow you back and stay in contact with one of us from the time you leave until you get home,” he ordered gruffly; still having his doubts but willing to go with his gut feeling that sending this rookie might be the only way to get answers to what was shaping up to be a very bad case of scandal and possibly something worse. “But the biggest warning I’m going to give you? Be careful. This story isn’t worth you getting hurt or worse because that little boy’s already lost one parent and I don’t want to be responsible for him losing you too.”

Jared nodded, appreciating the man’s concern and understanding it. “Thanks, Jeff,” he said as he stood up to extend his hand. “I’ll try not to let you down.”

“Jared, if you don’t bring back a story but manage to get the answers you want and come back in one piece, I’ll be happy,” Jeff replied seriously. “Just watch yourself? These boys might not be too thrilled to see you to begin with.”

“Yeah, I know they won’t be.” Jared did know that. He also knew he was running a big risk but hoped him being associated with a press pass would keep him from disappearing; he knew if Richard Ackles hated anything more than the press? It was bad press in general and a reporter, even one with a personal stake in the story, vanishing while investigating his son’s campaign for Senate. That would definitely bring a bad light to things.

Jared took the file and left the office to grab his jacket. He ignored the sour look from the new guy who’d never liked him from the moment he was hired on, even though Jared had always been friendly, and spent a moment talking to Danneel who promised to come over to his place that night to help him pack and give him some tips. Then he left to make a few more stops before heading home to fix dinner and explain to his son that he was getting to stay with Dani for a few days.

The small two-story house looked better than when they’d moved in. It still needed some paint and the shutters needed repairing again, but the roof didn’t leak when it rained, there was a fence around the small yard to keep both Nicky and the puppy (that wasn’t so much a puppy but a mini pony in Jared’s opinion) safe and a front porch as well as a back one that Jared enjoyed having even if he never had time to use either.

The yard was filled with a bike, various balls, puppy toys and other things that told Jared he was succeeding in giving his son the best life he could. He pulled his used but decent looking and running car into the driveway to hear barking and laughing from inside and knew his son was home and that the neighbor who lived two doors down would be inside keeping things in line as she did until Jared got home.

The best thing about living in Birkshead was the people. They were friendly, non-judgmental, and never asked too many questions even though he knew they probably wondered quite a bit about him, his little boy, and the never mentioned other parent. Jared’s stomach clenched as he wondered how non-judgmental some people would be if they ever learned the truth about him and his son’s absent birth parent.

“Whoa! Crap! Nicholas! Come get this horse!” He shouted with a laugh as he found himself nearly knocked back out the door when two big paws hit him as the happy, black and white, furry puppy jumped up to greet him.

The vet had told Jared that he thought the mutt was part Great Dane and part Saint Bernard when he’d come across the puppy abandoned in a box on the side of a road one morning.

Jared had always been soft hearted for animals, especially dogs. So much so that Jensen used to joke that if they never had more kids they could just adopt dogs. When he found the puppy he couldn’t leave it, so he’d taken it to the local vet for a check-up before bringing it home to his then six-year old son who’d been longing for a pet of some kind.

Now he wondered if he’d have to get a bigger house just for the puppy as it grew because Jared couldn’t stand its sad eyes or his son’s when he’d tried to put it in the dog house he’d built out back.

“Nemo missed you, Daddy!” Nicky laughed as he ran into the hallway to try to pull on the collar of the fluffy dog that was nearly his size and still growing. “Ms. Ferris said he should be outside but I said we were buddies and you let him live inside to protect me in case any monsters come.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said,” Jared coughed and met the dry smile of Samantha Ferris who stood in the doorway, shaking her head like she did whenever this topic came up. “He’s a monster protector.”

“That dog will run and hide after he pees on your rugs if he sees anything more than a mouse,” the petite, motherly woman scoffed as Nicky finally got his pet to follow him. “He’s got spelling homework and some math to do but he brought home all A’s and a note from his homeroom teacher once again saying how pleased she is with him and how smart he is, even if he is still a little shy at raising his hand.”

Jared’s dimples showed at that. It never failed to please him that his son was so smart and hadn’t picked up his issues with learning. Nicky actually liked school and learning even if he acted like a typical little boy at times and whined about doing homework or getting up for school. He knew he’d gotten Jensen’s love of learning, another thing that was bittersweet because it hurt to know the man was missing out on so much and didn’t seem to give a damn.

“Thanks, I’ll make sure he does it,” he said as he let her take some of the bags from him and go to the kitchen where he followed. “Hey, I’ve been given a story that’s going to take me to Texas for a few days and Danneel will be staying here to watch over Nicky and Nemo, but I was wondering if you could still watch him after school and maybe…check in at dinner time since…umm…well…”

“Danneel Harris is a beautiful and smart girl with a heart of gold but she can’t cook to save her soul,” Sam replied with a laugh, turning to see more than the usual worry on Jared’s face but didn’t ask anything yet. “I’ll make sure no one starves but…Jeffrey never gives you stories away from home. Why’s he giving you this one?” She asked and decided she might have to stop at the paper and slap that fool editor in his head.

As he began gathering the stuff for the hot dogs and salad he was making for dinner, Jared paused. “I asked for the story actually,” he admitted and felt the moment her sharp eyes pinned him. “It’s a…possible political scandal piece in Texas.”

Sam had been one of the first people to welcome Jared and his son to town and she’d basically been his babysitter for Nicky since he found a steady job. She hadn’t asked much about him being a single father because she’d seen his absolute love for his son, but she still had her own suspicions.

“Is this about that Senate election that’s going on there? The race with the young man who looks too young to be saying the words coming out of his mouth half the time? The one with the mesmerizing green eyes that look like he’s not always agreeing with his own words?” She asked and then frowned at his nod. “Jared, I know by that cute accent you still have that you’re a Texas boy. But this race is going to turn ugly on its own given that it’s against a rich boy running on Daddy’s money and a rich man, in his own right, in Mark Pellegrino who’s a staunch defender of the right to be gay and to carry a gene without being marked abnormal. Why in the hell would you want to get your hands dirty by going into that?”

“It’s…personal, Sam.” Jared said quietly as he worked on putting the hotdogs on his small indoor electric grill while setting the buns in the microwave to warm later. He began to cut lettuce and cucumber up while only putting tomato in his bowl since his son hated those with a burning, pouting, temper tantrum inducing passion. “It’s one of those cases where I feel the need to go outside my comfort zone, risk leaving Nicky with Dani for a few days so I can do this.”

“Huh,” Sam leaned against the counter while looking to see where the boy in question and his dog were before looking back at his father. “Does the case have something to do with green eyes that look a little too familiar if I look close enough at the photos in the papers or on TV and that little boy playing out there?” She asked, moving quickly to grab the knife that Jared fumbled and nearly sliced his finger with. “Oh my God. It does?”

Jared had never expected anyone to see the similarities in Nicky that he could see. Sam’s comments and then her question took him off guard and for just a brief moment, he felt panic. He knew he was risking a lot by going back ‘home’ but he figured so long as no one else had reason to suspect anything, that the Ackles family would have no serious reason to come after his little boy. Now he wasn’t sure; if Sam could see it then maybe others could and…

“Jared? Jared, I want you to breathe before you fall down. You are simply way too big and tall for me to haul off the floor,” Sam’s voice sharpened as she grabbed for his arm after seeing how he’d paled. “Jared, sit down.”

“Daddy? Ms. Sam? What’s wrong with Daddy?” Nicky asked from the kitchen door where he and the pup stood, both with huge eyes as Jared stumbled to sit at a chair beside the scarred up old table to put his head down. “Is he gonna faint like my teacher did when Sara Lynn brought her pet snake to show and tell and it lost its skin?”

Jared groaned at that. While he loved animals, he hated snakes or rodents and that image didn’t help him any. He started to say something only to hear Sam reach into the cabinet he knew housed the healthy snacks and then heard her reassuring his son that he was fine and to go play ball outside until the hotdogs were ready.

“So, if I put what I think together with that reaction just now, I’d say there could be an even bigger scandal going to erupt than I originally thought from just watching that boy and Pellegrino’s campaigns battle back and forth.” Sam grabbed a glass of iced tea and a cold rag before she sat down to eye Jared carefully. “You’re scared that because I might’ve figured something out, that others could?” She hummed at his slow nod. “Were you threatened, Jared? Was Nicky threatened?”

Not willing to go through the same emotions he had earlier with Jeff, he gave the woman a shorter version of the truth and then held his breath to see her reaction. “Sam…I…he’s still the same little boy he was before I…”

“Jared Padalecki! I should slap you with that skillet for thinking that it matters to me who gave birth to that little boy or that you’re gay,” Sam scoffed and gave him a light cuff on the back of his head before squeezing his arm. “You wouldn’t even have to go back to Texas. You could just tip Pellegrino’s people off that his opponent has a few hidden secrets in his closet but you’re not going back for the story, are you sweetie? You’re going back to confront him.”

“I want to give Jeff his story but…” Jared closed his eyes as the woman got up to roll the hotdogs, glad his son liked them a little burned. “I want to see him face to face, Sam. I want to have him look at me and tell me why he left us or…something.”

Sam heard the still present loss and pain in Jared’s soft drawl as she finished cutting up the salad components and decided to make some fast French Fries to go with the meal, letting Jared calm down again once he’d seen that she wasn’t going to turn on him over this revelation.

“When I lived out in California, this was before the State and Federal government finally got together to ban forced sterilization and re-education of homosexuals or carriers of MPG, I would see people, men mostly but some women who had that glassy, confused look like I’ve seen on that boy,” she began slowly as if considering if she should mention this to Jared or not. “He’s had those speeches drilled into his head and is just reciting them. That’s why there’s hardly a tone in his voice because, to him, he’s merely repeating what he’d heard or memorized. I bet you any amount of money that he didn’t leave you of his own free will, Jared. Just like I can bet you and win that he’s been re-educated to the point where his life before will be something implanted to fit with the image his folks or campaign people deem correct for the platform they’re running him with.”

Jared’s eyes had gone wide and then horrified as he considered what she was saying; sick at the thought that Jensen might have been locked away in some prison like hospital and tortured or…he stopped because he felt his stomach twist dangerously. “So you’re telling me not to be upset if I go there and he doesn’t even know me?” He hadn’t considered that a possibility until right then and now had to add that to his list of things to try to be emotionally prepared for. “I’m…I probably won’t even get that close to him. The moment his father realizes who I am and what I might say… Well…I’m hoping this press badge keeps me from getting shot in the back of the head before I leave town.”

“Jared, you better be damn careful. You have a son that needs you,” Sam said sternly, worried but knowing by the set of Jared’s jaw that he’d made up his mind; that this was something he needed to do. “Be careful and I’ll make sure Danneel doesn’t burn your house down and our so-called Sheriff doesn’t corrupt your son with his antics. Now you warm those buns and make sure you eat. I’ll send Nicky and that horse in for dinner.”

“Sam?” Jared called as she started to leave, smiling a little more as she looked back at him. “Thanks for understanding, I guess. Some people didn’t in the beginning, before we came here and…I just don’t want him to know the hate that I did growing up.”

“Sweetie, Birkshead isn’t perfect and I’m not saying all of the people living here might approve, cause regardless of how hard we try we still get some bad apples, but those people don’t know you. The people in this town that know you, that care about you and Nicky, will never turn on you or let you tackle anything alone. So you remember that if you need anything when you get back.”

Jared nodded and then shook himself out his mood to catch his son in his arms when he ran into the kitchen. “Let’s eat and then you can work on your homework while I tell you some really cool news.”

At seven nearly anything was cool with Nicky. He thought it was awesome that his Dad got to go somewhere on assignment, even if it meant staying with Danneel who he thought was nice but not nearly as cool as the town Sheriff who liked to play video games with him when not on duty or show him magic tricks.

He ate while telling his Dad about school, his friends, and how some new stupid kid tried to make fun of him for only having one parent when most kids had two. “I ignored him like you said to and just said I had two when I was a baby but something happened and now I have you,” he looked up from under long lashes, green eyes intense which told Jared his boy had been thinking and knew he’d be asking questions again. “We’re studying history when the government first made laws to protect guys who can have babies and stuff.”

Jared wondered if he really did choke or if he just thought he did. He was certain his eyes probably bugged out because he wasn’t expecting that in 2nd Grade yet and sure as hell wasn’t ready for ‘that’ talk with his son. “Oh?” he managed while gulping down his tea.

“Yeah, just basics cause we’re too young to understand it but still the new kid, he’s a real prick as Chad would say, said it ain’t natural for guys to have babies and that God should strike ‘em down as monsters,” Nicky’s small face scrunched as he frowned. “Mrs. Sawyer sent him to the Principal because she said he was using hate speech ‘cause everyone’s equal now and guys having babies are just like girls who have ‘em. They’re not purple monsters or anything.”

Jared made a note to find out who the new family in town was so he could avoid them and tell the local sheriff, a man who’d become a fast and lasting friend, to watch out for possible issues. “And…do I need to explain anything to you right now?” He asked, silently hoping he didn’t because he’d always dreaded this talk and had been hoping to wait until at least ten before trying to fumble his way through it.

“I don’t think so yet,” Nicky dropped the last bite of his hot dog to Nemo before lifting his eyes slowly. “Except…” He paused to play with his last French fry until Jared laid a hand over his much smaller one in encouragement. “I don’t have a Mom, do I?” He asked, going on quietly. “I mean, I know you tell me to avoid the question and I think I get why…I mean, I’m seven not six so I get that some people don’t like guys who can make babies or who kiss other guys and there’s the photo behind all my school photos you used to show me so…am I a sin or…”

“No, you are not a sin and no child born of a man is a sin. Just like children born of unmarried folk aren’t sins or anything else.” Jared had been honest to a point about Nicky’s other parent, with some exceptions. “And no, you don’t have a Mom like your friends do but you had a wonderful man who loved me and who loved you. You have his eyes and thankfully his brain and you will have his hair and more than likely his rugged good looks,” he ran his hand over soft light blond hair while seeing so much of Jensen in their son right then as he stared at him. “I know it’s wrong of me to ask you to avoid it if anyone asks but…it’s still a sore subject to some and I guess I was just trying to keep you from hurting like I hurt so much growing up.”

Nicky smiled with dimples. “I love you Daddy and it don’t matter to me that it’s just me, you, and Nemo,” he scooted off his chair and into Jared’s arms. “Can we have pizza when you get home?”

“Yeah, sport, we can have pizza. Now, let’s get your homework done while I pack a bag,” Jared hugged his son and then let him do the usual homework eye roll before Nicky ran off laughing to get his book bag.

Once he was alone, Jared took a moment to close his eyes before going into the living room to take down a frame that hung on the wall. Currently it had the last school photo in it but as he removed the back to take out the first photo he stared at the only family photo he had of the three of them and decided to take it with him.

At 31 it was hard to believe he’d been as young as he had been in the photo, but it was harder to believe that the hard eyed, anti-gay politician whose photo he still had in his briefcase was the smiling, green eyed young man holding their wide eyed baby boy.

“Damn it, Jensen, what the hell happened?”

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Three**

“Shepherd’s Port: Home to one and all,” Jared Padalecki recited as he drove the rental car that Jeff Morgan insisted he get past the ‘Welcome’ sign, into his former home town, and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, and I’m surprised lightning hasn’t struck that bold faced lie down.”

Jared had been planning to drive to Texas but Jeff talked him into flying into Dallas and then driving the rest of the way in a rental car he said the newspaper would pay for. He’d debated on it until Danneel pointed out it was faster to fly than drive all that way and then back so he’d agreed.

He was still nervous about leaving Nicky but trusted those he called friends to care for his son while he was gone a few days. Then he just had to settle his growing nerves about other things as he pulled into a small town 50 miles outside of Shepherd’s Port to fill up the gas tank and grab something to eat at a small diner.

Danneel had told him to try and get a feel of things in other towns and places since this campaign was a Senate race and would involve several Districts. So as he sat at the counter, trying to eat past the lump in his stomach that seemed to be growing the closer to ‘home’ he got, Jared paid attention to some of the conversations going on around him.

The diner was something he’d seen before. Hell, he’d worked in a few. It had little groups of people scattered at various tables or around booths sharing local news, gossip, or what was going on in their lives. He also heard a few things about the local elections for the town as well as the larger elections.

“You look too much like a kitten dropped in the tiger cage at a zoo,” the waitress who seemed to be taking care of the whole diner said as she refilled his glass of sweet tea while wiping the counter. “You must be a wet behind the ears reporter sent from some paper back East to take in that circus that’s happening over in Shepherd’s Port tomorrow with the debate and all. That right, honey?”

The pure Texas accent reminded Jared of home. It was odd that he could tell the difference between a Texas twang and the drawls of his now adopted state of North Carolina. “Yeah, but not exactly from the East coast,” he replied. “Paper’s out of North Carolina but…I’m from Texas originally.”

“Well, that you are,” she shot him a wide smile. “What’s a handsome Texas boy like you doing working in North Carolina?” she asked.

Jared shrugged while using his dimpled smile to hopefully some advantage. “I wanted a fresh start someplace else.” That wasn’t a lie as he and Jensen had wanted a fresh start someplace outside of Texas. “So? You want to share a couple opinions off the record as to what you think of things?”

“Darlin’, anything I say you could put on record but wouldn’t be printable.” The waitress was an older woman named Darla as Jared learned while sitting in the diner for the next several hours. He quickly figured out this town wasn’t as anti-gay or anti-MPG as most Texas towns had been when he’d been a boy. He also found the locals had plenty to say about the local Senate Campaign but it wasn’t as negative against Jensen as he thought it would be… It was negative against his father and those ‘running’ the candidate.

“Ain’t a damn thing comin’ out of that boy’s mouth that his damn racist parents, especially that hateful old man of his, didn’t put there,” a grey haired old man spoke from across the diner, slamming his hand down on the table. “Richard Ackles has bought, paid off, threatened, bullied, or gotten rid of anyone in that town who’d stand up to him. He thinks if his boy gets elected to the Big Time that he’ll have a clear shot at having everyone he deems as ‘undesirable’ wiped out in those fancy hospitals he pays money into that people aren’t supposed to know exist these days. The same damn kind of hospital that put those ideas in that boy’s head to begin with.”

“Now Roscoe, there’s no proof left or to begin with that Richard Ackles had his own son, his heir, into one of those places to ‘re-educate him’,” an old woman that Jared couldn’t tell her age retorted from the other side of the diner where she sat with a group of women. “Those years Jensen spent away from home were for school. To give him a good head on his shoulders. Not like some say; that he ran away with some boy to live in sin.”

“Edna Mae, you hush yourself!” Darla snapped while rolling her eyes at a suddenly quiet Jared and poured him more tea. “You’ve been sniffing that glue on a stick again if you believe those lies Jane Ackles tries to sell to the Rotary ladies and all her fancy friends. I lived and worked in that awful town most of my life and my sister worked as a maid for those horrible people. She was there the day that boy confronted his Daddy after those bullies beat his friend up. So don’t you try to tell me the Jensen Ackles that came back from ‘vacation’ seven years ago and was totally different, wasn’t dragged back from wherever he and his boyfriend went and stuck in one of those ‘private’ places to learn the error of his ways.”

Darla’s hand closed over the hand that had suddenly fisted on the counter as Jared’s breath caught in his chest and he knew he needed to leave just in case this woman put two and two together. But he feared it was too late when he lifted his eyes from the pad he’d been writing notes and comments on to see her giving him a small, almost knowing smile.

“Ackles and his supporters have been working on this campaign of hate for years. He detests it to know the people in Austin see everyone as humans who have rights; That the days of sterilizing those he deems unfit so they can’t breed or having his witch doctors shock people until their brains are almost mush or what he wants ‘em to think and do, went out of style 50 years or more,” she shook her head sadly. “I thought these days were over when I was a girl and we marched to get all people the same rights. Now I’m not saying his opponent is all that charming since that Mark Pellegrino gives me the willies, as my Grandma would say, but at least he’s not wanting to destroy innocent people or sweet babies before they’re born.”

The debate surged in the diner for another hour before Jared finally made a polite decline for more pie and knew he had to get going. He thanked everyone for their time, their opinions and went to pay his bill only to have the gruff old cook, who was also the owner, shake his head after he’d come out of the kitchen.

“Are you planning on writing a story about the hate mongering going on?” he asked while staring in Jared’s eyes.

“That’s my editor’s plan,” Jared nodded while not mentioning his own reasons for going to the debate the following evening. “Mr. Morgan seems to smell scandal and cover-up.”

The older man barked out a laugh while he tore up Jared’s check after telling him he had good feelings about him. “Son, there’s so much scandal and cover-up going on in Shepherd’s Port you’ll need a back hoe to dig into it all. Only it ain’t all with the Ackles’ either, so you watch your back over there.”

“I intend to and thanks.” Jared had to wonder what that meant but he chose to file it away for later investigating and try to focus on what he was in Texas for.

He was booked into a small hotel outside of the town since nearly every other place was booked with other reporters, TV crews and the like who’d come to see what was being touted as the one and only debate between Jensen Ackles and his opponent, Mark Pellegrino.

As Danneel had learned when looking into the campaigns of both men for him, it seemed like Jensen’s campaign manager, along with his father who seemed to be taking more control or so media sources have noticed, had previously refused to allow the youngest Senate candidate in history to partake in any live debates or any platform where his people couldn’t control the possible questions asked or couldn’t contain the environment.

It seemed to some that the Ackles’ campaign agreed to this debate only when the head of the Elections Board in Austin threatened to fine them for each refused appearance, as well as starting an internal investigation into some allegations of abuse and intimidation that had been coming to the surface.

Jared checked in under his name and held his breath in case the name sparked anything with the clerk but he was a young man who barely looked up as he ran the credit card, had Jared sign, gave him his key and wished him a good night.

He wasn’t foolish enough to think no one in Shepherd’s Port wouldn’t recognize the last name in some way or recognize him. Jared was just hoping he could avoid trouble and do what he’d come to Texas to do. It was getting out of town after the debate that he knew could be a problem.

Since he was too on edge right then to sleep, he got out his notes as well as those compiled by Danneel and then Jeff’s folder on Jensen and the campaign to look things over. He pulled up the current biography of the young candidate and felt that lump in his stomach get that much larger as he read over what he knew was a complete and total bunch of lies.

As he read about how Jensen had always dreamed of a career in politics from an early age, Jared knew everything else in the bio and what people were being told about the man were lies. He read through the ‘life of Jensen Ross Ackles’ and wasn’t sure if he wanted to be sick or furious. The white washing would be so clear to anyone who had known the man ‘before’ his so-called trip overseas at the age of 23 to study under those who understood the proper beliefs of how things should be.

“Son of a bitch,” he felt his teeth clench as he began watching all the videos of speeches since Jensen had started his campaign, as well as the few he’d given when running for smaller campaigns locally.

The speeches were full of hate, of racist terms, comments that while flying under the radar of direct hate that would be illegal, the meaning behind the words and terms used were plain to anyone with a brain. Jared had heard many such speeches over the years, just like he’d heard such words in the church his family had attended when younger; all fire and brimstone with expressions to match the word as well as an energy to it but as he watched these he understood Jeff’s comments about being a drone under someone else’s control.

Jensen’s voice was still deep, husky with the same drawl that Jared had used to love listening to at night when they’d be in bed and talking about their future or when Jensen would read their baby stories that Nicky had been too young to remember hearing, but there was something missing now.

It was when Jared re-watched one video that should’ve been powerful, emotional and moving that he saw what was missing and it haunted him. There was no real tone to the deep voice. When Jensen spoke it was like his words, his body, his movements were almost robotic; as if he were reciting the speech from notes even though Jared couldn’t see any notes on any of the podiums and the man never looked down.

Jensen’s green eyes stayed locked on the back of whatever room he spoke at, never looking anywhere else unless it was to the side of the stage where one fast cameraman caught a sight of Richard Ackles and another man standing there, probably with a copy of the speech as well as what looked like a headset mic on. Jared zoomed in as close as he could and caught the nearly invisible earphone in Jensen’s ear.

“The bastards are feeding him the lines if they haven’t drilled the speech into his head beforehand,” he muttered but kept the close-up image zoomed in on the face he’d once known but now was almost a stranger.

His Jensen had never had that hard an expression on his face unless he’d been pushed to his limit and got pissed off. Usually his rugged handsome face had a smile of some kind on it and his eyes were usually always lit with light. But this man had none of that.

This man looked hard, cold, and almost bitter but still smiled tightly when he had to. Each time Jared watched that forced smile it was like watching someone in a movie who’d been brainwashed. He feared that was very much going to be the case in real life as well.

_“What if they come after us?”_

_“We’re both legal, Jared. Even if my family can find us, there’s little they can do to either of us. It’s not like you’re kidnapping me or forcing me to come with you. This is my choice.”_

_“Your family hates me and they’re rich. Your Dad can do anything he wants because people are scared of him, Jen. I’m scared of what he’ll do to you if you do this.”_

_“And I’m scared of what they will do to you if we don’t leave home. Jay, I love you. I want us to be together like we always promised we would be. I want to give you a family and none of those things will happen if we stay in Shepherd’s Port. Trust me?”_

_“I trust you with my life, Jensen. It’s your father and his buddies that I don’t trust. You’re the oldest, his heir. He’ll never…”_

_“I’m a gay, abnormal, sinful faggot - his words. He’ll only be happy to see me gone before I ruin his and Mom’s perfect little world. They’ll make a scene for a proper amount of time and then will sadly announce that I ‘died’ in an accident or something so they can write me out of everything without drawing any raised eyebrows and Mike will move into the ‘favored’ son role that he’s always coveted. While you and I will live happily ever after in a nice quiet town that doesn’t hate us because we’re gay or me because I have an extra gene that will give you as many babies as I can.”_

_“Don’t ever leave me Jen?”_

_“I’ll never leave you, Jay.”_

Jared sat straight up in bed with a broken sob and his former lover’s name on his lips. It had been almost four years out of the seven that he’d been alone that he’d woken up not only seeing or hearing Jensen but almost feeling the man’s touch in the way that Jensen had always seemed to touch him.

“Damn it,” he muttered as he sat up to stare at the clock beside the bed to see he had to get up and start getting ready anyway, but it was hard to get his head out of his memories and into the present.

As he showered and shaved yesterday’s scruff away, Jared worked to put himself in reporter mode. Normally when he did a story back home it wasn’t hard but now he realized how much more intense doing the big stories were and decided that Jeff was right; this wasn’t something he was cut out to do. Regardless, he would bring something back with him so that Danneel could write a great story.

He knew what he’d gained and learned already would go a long way in addition to what could be learned by some more digging into both candidates, as well as when it was exposed that one of them wasn’t all that was being said about him.

Of course proving that would be difficult given that the Ackles’ family had wiped Jensen’s past clean of anything that might be considered gay or connected with the extra gene. Jared had a sneaking feeling that anyone in town who might recall Jensen from before would’ve been paid off to forget or threatened to keep their mouths shut.

He knew all medical and hospital records had been expunged because Jared had already looked after his own encounter with the hired muscle that Richard Ackles’ employed to do his dirty work. He also bet, unless someone had a skill with computers, that wherever they’d locked Jensen up after convincing him to leave or forcing him will have covered those records up under a pile of fake names or lies. So that really left only one hard piece of evidence to prove that Jensen had once not only been gay but also a carrier and that was their son.

Jared pulled on a clean t-shirt and a pair of slacks but stuck with his boots since this was Texas and he figured only the out of state people wouldn’t be in boots. He packed everything in his luggage so it would be ready when he got back, only taking his micro recorder, a small notebook, and one other item with him so he didn’t have to carry much into the Town Hall that was hosting the debate.

It worried him now as he thought more about it that he might be opening a can of worms for both himself and his son, but in the end he had to be true to himself and that meant finding out the truth if it was at all possible so he could once and for all tell his too curious son the next time he asked that his other father was truly dead and would never be back.

There’d been times during the last seven years that he’d been tempted to risk it all and go pound on the massive door to the Ackles’ mansion on the outskirts of Shepherd’s Port, but he’d always held back out of fear for Nicky, as well as the fear of hearing Jensen actually tell him their love had been a lie and he regretted everything. So he hadn’t.

Now as he pulled his rental car into a spot in the crowded lot marked off for ‘Press’, Jared reminded himself that he’d asked for this and he would have to face the results, good or bad, as his final answer and then try to move on. He knew he’d never love anyone again, or not like he had and would love Jensen, but at least he could try to start to heal his heart once he knew something definite.

Stepping out of the car, Jared felt eyes on him almost instantly but he didn’t look around. He merely headed for the door with his press pass held out and prepared for a fight just to get in until he noticed the people at the door weren’t burly bodyguards but polite and efficient middle aged ladies that had badges on saying they were from the Elections Board.

“It just started but you haven’t missed much except for some blustering over there not being a set question list,” one of them said as she handed Jared back his badge while motioning behind her. “Go on in and try to find a seat or you can stand. No one’s looking for this to last long given Ackles’ is still very much against his son doing this.”

“I thought Jensen Ackles was running for the seat, not his father,” Jared commented carefully, noticing there were several TV crews set up as well as national and international reporters. Since this was such a hot topic, it even got the attention of the people overseas.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone says, sugar,” she rolled her eyes. “He’d run if he could but the board banned his ass more than 30 years ago from ever trying to put his name in an election hat again. So now he has to put on this puppet show using his son.”

Jared frowned as he considered that. He knew the Ackles’ family were big into Texas politics and recalled hearing some whispers about Richard being banned for some infraction, but hadn’t thought much on it or why he’d always been pushing Jensen so hard to go into it. Now it made more sense…

Nodding his thanks he took a few steps into the hall to get a feel of it. It was an old fashioned kind with a gallery on the second floor and that’s where it seemed the non-press people, the locals and those from out of town that had been lucky to get a rare ticket, sat.

He found an open aisle seat in the third row from the back but could still see the stage with the two podiums well. Before his eyes settled up on stage, he let them slide around to see several men in dark suits with a familiar silver belt buckle and felt his palms start to sweat because he knew those were bodyguards and thugs paid by Richard and Jane Ackles.

Though he also caught site of a few uniformed officers that seemed to be from the State Police mingling as well and Jared hid his smirk and guessed Pellegrino’s office must have asked for more neutral security since everyone in Shepherd’s Port knew the local Sheriff was paid off to look the other way for certain things.

“There should’ve been a set list of questions supplied to my son days ago for this!” The angry, loud bellow of the senior Ackles suddenly was heard from the front of the room where the tall man with silver hair tucked under his trademarked Stetson was standing between where his silent son stood and a smirking Mark Pellegrino with a man, obviously the mediator, stuck in the middle of them.

“Since I don’t know which of these fine ladies and gentlemen of the press I might choose to ask a question from, it wasn’t possible to get a set list,” Pellegrino replied, leaning casually on his podium while brushing off a young girl looking to powder his face for the camera glare or fix his pale blond hair after he’d run his fingers through it. “It’s a debate. They ask, we answer. Now your boy shouldn’t have a problem with that, should he?” He asked while moving his eyes over the older man’s shoulder to look at his opponent’s blank face before going on. “I mean, it’s not like he has to have you or the moron managing this travesty of a campaign to answer for him…or maybe he does?”

“Gentlemen, please!” The moderator snapped while adjusting his tie nervously. “Can we please get started? Mr. Ackles, you and Mr. Collins must leave the stage. Any outbursts from either of you or anyone from your side and Mr. Pellegrino will be within his rights to have the State Troopers remove you,” he stated firmly, narrowing his gaze at the now red-faced man. “You have been warned numerous times for interfering in your son’s campaign or his speeches. This will not be allowed at this debate. Now leave the stage.”

Jared remembered the senior Ackles well enough to know without looking that the vein in his forehead would be throbbing by now and he’d be looking like he wanted to snap the skinny moderator’s neck like a twig.

He thought that might actually happen until he saw a hand move and realized it was the first time he’d seen Jensen interact since he sat down. He watched his hand tug at his father’s elbow only to have it slapped away as the older man whirled to grab him by the back of the neck to say something short in his ear and saw that whatever it was had Jensen tensing subtly. Then the blank look came back as he turned to stand behind the podium while the black haired man who’d been hovering there attached a mic to his tie and then moved a hand past Jensen’s ear, as if fixing the too short dark blond hair. But Jared suspected what had just happened.

“I wondered if we’d ever see you again.”

The low and rough voice that suddenly spoke from beside him had Jared tensing and his teeth grinding together. “Get the hell away from me, Kane.”

“You playing reporter, kiddo? I saw you show a press pass to the ladies at the door but then they don’t know you like I and probably some others here do to think anything else. How’d you get that gig? The last time I saw you, you could barely read a sentence the right way.”

Chris Kane had been a year or so ahead of him and Jensen in High School. The 5’9” former football player had been friends with Jensen but had often looked down on Jared because of his family and his inability to understand certain things in school. So while they had a friend in common, it had never been friendly between the two of them.

Now didn’t seem to be any different. The only thing Jared wasn’t sure of was how much the black haired man knew about what had happened with him, and to Jensen. Then he happened to look up and frowned tightly when he saw the silver belt buckle and his temper sizzled to the surface.

“You work for that bastard?” He demanded, fighting to keep his voice pitched low as to not garner any other unwanted attention. “Then you know? About Jensen?”

“I know the popular opinion that everyone who takes a paycheck from the old man knows,” Chris replied, hand clamping down on a suddenly tight shoulder and shoving when it went to move as if Jared was going to stand up.

“You bastard!” Jared hissed, glad the noise in the packed room as the moderator tried to gain control and start the debate was keeping everyone’s attention focused on the stage. “You knew he left town with me! You knew about us and you knew about…” he stopped when he saw a faint muscle tick on the man’s jaw and knew. “You sold us out to him. That’s how his father and his damn thugs found us. _You_ told them because he told you when he called to tell you about…he trusted you, Kane!”

“Yeah, I know he did but I also know I was out of the state in the Army and my mother got in over her head with the bank and Ackles’ was threatening to kick her and my 90 year old grandfather out on the street,” Chris shifted enough to look down into hard hazel eyes, using his body to hide his hand when he slipped something into Jared’s shirt pocket. “Do what you came to do and then get the hell out of dodge, kiddo,” he said gruffly, giving the shoulder he was still gripping an almost painful squeeze. “I can’t watch your back and watch his too, Jared. If you are about to set off the firestorm I think you are then all hell will break loose. I hope you know what you’re doing because I can tell you now that the man on that stage will not know you or believe what you say. He’s been gone for six years, but I’ll give you balls for trying.

“Do what you’re going to do if you feel you have to and then get out of town. Go back to wherever you and your kid are now and forget this place, forget him and pray I can convince the old man and his stooges you aren’t worth silencing to get one of his schemes to work,” Chris patted his arm before giving a nod to a State Trooper who had gotten closer as if checking he wasn’t bothering the press. “There’s a lot more going on than might be obvious.”

“I don’t give a damn about whatever crooked scandal that sick old man is trying to run. I care about…damn it!” Jared hissed but was left to fume as the man walked away to disappear into the now packed hall as the debate began in earnest when the moderator made the first choice of a reporter from the front row to ask the first question.

After 30 minutes of the debate Jared wasn’t sure who he felt sorrier for: Jensen or the moderator who had to keep trying to regain control after nearly every question because it was plain after the third question asked that Pellegrino was both mocking his opponent and trying to bait him into responding wrong or losing his temper, which Jensen never did.

In fact, it scared Jared how Jensen’s tone never once changed or raised as he seemed to struggle with the answers, as if he couldn’t think fast enough to come up with an answer and had to think about it…or he had to hear it in his ear since he’d noticed him turning his head or rubbing a hand over his right ear.

It was the moment when something made all the electronic equipment in the room suddenly squelch and Jared caught the sudden flash of pain on Jensen’s rugged but almost pale face that he knew why he was struggling. It was also right then that he realized that whatever caused the feedback must have shorted out the earpiece he wore because for the first time since entering the town hall, Jared saw something like real emotion on his former boyfriend’s face and that was confusion.

“Mr. Pellegrino, Mr. Ackles, you are both running on very different platforms as far as the right for those who are carriers of the Male Pregnancy Gene to live without having to register or to be forced to be sterilized so they can’t conceive and possibly pass the defect onto their offspring,” an older TV reporter from the East Coast spoke up when it was his turn to address the candidates. “Can you both give a clearer picture on your stance on the very hotly contested topic as well as the desire to see the Gay Rights Bill retracted to also make it illegal in all 50 states to be either homosexual or a lesbian without having to register or submit to the new and also very contested re-education process?”

Mark Pellegrino, as Jared’s research had learned, was a newcomer to the State of Texas but not to politics. He came from California, a state with a diverse field of pro and anti-rights believers, but he’d always been more in the middle until this campaign where it seemed he was fully on the side of the pro-right.

He was older than Jensen, probably in his late 30’s or early 40’s, with a lean build and short blond hair. But there was something about the man’s eyes and smile that triggered Jared’s senses to not let his guard down fully with the man. That feeling increased with each question and answer but this last question made Jared sit up more.

“Well Bob, I’m glad you asked that because I think it’s time for the public, both in this fine State that has adopted me and the rest of the country, to get a better idea of just what my fine young opponent really feels on this topic but first I’ll tell you my views,” Pellegrino began, taking a sip of water before beginning to speak.

“As many of my non-supporters will tell you, early in my career I was on the fence many times as there were so many opinions and reports and studies out there about how dangerous ‘those’ people were to the modern world or to ‘traditional’ families. I’ve been through the clinics and re-education wards of so-called hospitals before they were banned in California as inhumane or cruel. I’ve seen men and women who were re-educated from the wicked path of homosexuality and let me tell you, it hurt me to see what the so-called cure was doing to innocent people,” he paused to look around the room, making sure to make eye contact with several people as he gave a typical dramatic pause. “I don’t think it ever ‘cured’ them of being gay or being a lesbian. It just changed them into a different person. For some, it was so drastic that they never left those places and were reduced to the brain capacity of children because the drugs, the electro-shocks, the abuse by the ‘professionals’ destroyed their minds and left them unable to think or act for themselves.

“I saw some who looked and acted like you or I but still had to have prompts to answer correctly or be given a script. They were blank little robots under their families’ thumbs,” Pellegrino’s gaze slid to the man next to him with a small smirk but he was quick to return to the crowd. “After seeing this I began to realize that what we were doing was far more dangerous and wrong than letting people who might choose to love differently than others live freely and with the same rights as you and I.

“The same goes for the carriers of the extra gene. When it was first discovered, some opponents raged that children born of a man would be different, mutated, deficient or mentally disabled. They made people fear innocent children born out of love. Before this country laid down rules and laws protecting those children and the men who birthed them, did you know that some towns had dirty little secret places where doctors in hospitals would kill those babies rather than let them live and then secretly sterilize the birth parent so the immoral act couldn’t happen again?” He shook his head sadly while moving from behind the podium as he was fond of doing with his microphone. “We have since outlawed that practice but there are still places that try to get away with it. It is my goal, my promise, that I will never allow another child born from the MPG be killed, or another man be sterilized for being born with it.

“Now my fine young opponent feels the exact opposite to me. He feels, or was raised to feel, like these people don’t deserve the same rights as everyone else in our country. He believes and preaches like those fools years ago believed when they were trying to win civil rights in the South. He believes in forced sterilization, he believes in re-education. He believes that people who love differently or can have babies with a man shouldn’t live and before he explains his views on why that is…assuming he can without a prepared speech in front of him, let me ask you this question, Mr. Ackles,” Pellegrino turned to stare directly into Jensen’s face while quirking his lips up into a smirk. “Tell me, tell these people here today, watching on TV or reading in the papers tomorrow, what would you do if a child of yours was gay or born with the gene?” He asked. “Would you lock him or her away to be tortured or experimented on? Would you allow your child to be turned into a puppet rather than to live free and happy?”

Jared’s stomach had been in knots all during this time. He’d come here with one thing in mind, other than getting a story for Jeff Morgan’s paper. He’d come with plans to get answers to why his ex-boyfriend, the father to their son, had just picked up and left them as if they never existed. He’d wanted answers but now feared he might have gotten them without even being up close to the man in question. He also had another fear that was slowly building that almost had him backing off his decision to confront his ex…until Jensen spoke.

“Yes, I would,” Jensen still looked a little lost and unsure of his answer. He’d lost the earpiece after that odd electronic interference so he couldn’t hear either his father or his manager, Misha Collins, in his ear like he’d grown used to since they’d started this campaign.

Jensen knew his father and the people really running the campaign had not wanted him to do this debate. He wasn’t sure why but as he’d been told when his parents decided he would be running, something he hadn’t really felt comfortable with doing, to keep his mouth shut unless told what to say by those smarter than him.

He mainly hadn’t wanted to run for the Senate seat because he still felt unsure of his mind or ability to think since whatever accident he’d had that had landed him in a hospital for over a year six years earlier.

His mother had explained that he’d been attending college when he’d been brutally attacked and nearly killed by a gang of homosexuals looking to make an example out of a good and decent man like him and the attack had put him into a deep coma that had affected his memories because Jensen had none from before waking up, strapped to a bed in a stark white room, with his parents and several stern faced strangers staring at him.

The attack had left him quiet, introverted to the point where he never left either his parent’s house or his small apartment in town without two of his father’s bodyguards because they were afraid of something similar happening. Now he could barely do anything without them, his manager or someone following him with a list of things to memorize or try to make him remember.

Most of his speeches were drilled into his head days before and if he couldn’t recite it word for word, since sometimes audiences made him nervous, a voice would pipe up in his ear, like it had today when his Dad or Misha would give him what they expected him to say to the questions asked.

Now he could hear the men from the election’s board forcing them to stay off the stage despite their best attempts and Jensen knew it was because neither man trusted him to speak on his own. He also knew it was against the election rules to have the device in his ear so if that was found out, it would cause a scandal and he didn’t want that because he didn’t want to deal with his family’s backlash if it did. Realizing he was on his own and that his smirking opponent was waiting for him to answer, he tried to say what he thought his father or someone would say to that.

“Yes, I would. Homosexuality of any kind is a sin against the eyes of God. They come from a line of when those that fell from Heaven mated with the unmoral and loose woman of the Earth. Those that live a life of sin will possibly corrupt the young and impressionable in their towns and so they should not be allowed to live freely without registering that they are sex fiends,” Jensen recited a mix of things that he thought had been in various speeches or that he’d heard said in meetings that he’d sat in on but hadn’t involved him. He didn’t understand why the words actually seemed to make his stomach clench or his hands sweat but they always had; it was often like he was fighting another part of himself. “As for those men who were infected with the extra gene that allows them to give birth, they’re an offshoot of those sinners. Their offspring will be faulty, degenerates who will pollute America and they should be fixed and I believe the children taken and…”

“Bullshit, you lying son of a bitch!”

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Four**

“Bullshit, you lying son of a bitch! Because if you believe that then you’d better be ready to put a bullet in your own damn brain, or the brain that your bastard father left you with after he had you lobotomized or whatever it was!”

Jared Padalecki had almost been willing to keep his mouth shut for the moment and not confront the man that had once been not only his best friend but also his lover and father of their son. He had been until the words Jensen was saying tore through him like knives and he couldn’t take it any longer. He was speaking even before he knew it as he stood up to feel every eye in the place shoot to him, but knew he couldn’t back down now.

As the crowd in the gallery got loud and reporters and TV cameras all started trying to get a shot of this sudden development, Jensen Ackles had gone totally still on stage, even as his manager finally shoved past the men blocking him, quickly followed by his furious father.

“Guards! Throw that heathen troublemaker out of here!” He screamed as the moderator tried to regain control. “He’s got not right to be here! He’s…”

“Let the boy speak!” Mark Pellegrino snapped as the State Troopers headed off Richard Ackles’ private guards before they touched this new development in his campaign. “Ackles! If any of your goons touch that man, I’ll personally see to it that this campaign is called off for fraud and every other little rule that I know you’ve broken but have ignored to try to give your kid the benefit of actually thinking for himself for once. I want to hear what this young man has to say since he seems so firm on his belief that Jensen here is lying. Also, according to my people, he’s press so yeah; kicking him out would look so good for you right now.”

Jared had tensed, prepared to be grabbed, hauled out of the hall and probably beat up by the furious thugs who were now essentially helpless to follow their boss’s orders. He’d locked eyes with cold green eyes as the other candidate motioned him to come down the aisle between the seats.

From the corner of his eye he caught sight of Chris Kane standing in the back of the room but it confused Jared because he thought he saw the man smile thinly and give him a wink, but knew that couldn’t be. He kept an eye on his surroundings, ignored the shouts coming from above as the Troopers began removing the rowdiest of the onlookers, while cameras could be heard whirring and clicking away.

“What’s your name, Son?” Pellegrino asked him, ignoring the shouting going on behind him as Richard Ackles tried to drag his son away from the podium, only to be stopped by the frowning moderator and Jensen himself when he refused to be budged as he stared into heated hazel eyes that seemed to bore straight into him.

“He’s nobody!” Richard shouted but it was plain that he knew who Jared was by the way he glared hatefully at him and tried to drag his son away, getting even more furious by the damn stupid boy’s sudden refusal to obey him. “Jensen! Move! We are done here! I will not have this faggot destroy…get your hands off me!” He shouted when the moderator suddenly motioned to two State Troopers who’d come on stage.

“Remove Mr. Ackles and Mr. Collins to the backstage area and keep them there,” he instructed while motioning Jensen to stay at his podium. “Normally I would clear this whole room but…I agree with Mr. Pellegrino and want to hear what this young man has to say. If there’s a legitimate reason not to besides your obvious racist dislike, not that we even know this man might be gay, then I’ll hear your complaints in the back. If not, then get your asses off the stage and actually let the candidate handle his own affairs,” he ordered sternly, as the two men were forcibly moved from the stage even as Jane Ackles could be heard screaming obscenities from the back of the staging area. “Keep the cameras rolling,” he told the newscasters who were all looking shocked that this was happening. “Go ahead and answer Mr. Pellegrino.”

Jared’s heart was in his throat. He knew he’d just dodged a huge bullet but he also knew the odds of getting out of Texas, much less Shepherd’s Port, would be slim to none without getting the hell kicked out of him…assuming he wasn’t just shot dead.

“Jared,” he finally spoke, clearing his throat. “Jared Padalecki.”

“Well, Jared…you certainly have caused an uproar with the locals,” Pellegrino grinned, kneeling down easily on the stage as if not caring it might not look very professional. “Care to explain why you seem to think Mr. Ackles here is lying on his stance toward gays or MPG carriers?”

Jared didn’t look at him or the moderator. He kept his eyes on Jensen’s face and could see the confusion there as he looked back. He knew he had no idea who he was and knew that hurt would sink in much later; when he was home, when he could focus on anything but getting this out now that he’d been given a chance.

“You really believe all that crap you’ve been saying?” He asked Jensen rather than answer the other man. “That gays are a result of all that Biblical stuff or that babies born from the gene should be destroyed? You seriously buy all that?”

“Yes,” Jensen nodded, frowning as the almost boyishly handsome face staring at him seemed to sadden in a way that made his chest hurt. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because if you really do, it makes you a bigger hypocrite than your old man and all his buddies who used to say the exact same crap when we were growing up,” Jared shot back, jerking the carefully folded photo out of where he’d stuck it in his notebook to throw it up on the stage at Jensen. “You standing up here today and during all those speeches basically saying that everything you and I fought for growing up in this goddamn hellhole of a town were lies. You saying that gays and lesbians are sinners who should be wiped away and carriers should be sterilized so they can’t have kids is like telling me that _that_ baby, our baby, is a monster because you and I loved one another.”

Jensen’s eyes had been narrowing in anger at some stranger calling him a liar and casting doubt on his family’s beliefs. Then he looked down at the photo that had been hurled at him at the same time as the man’s words penetrated his brains. “Excuse me?” He had a glimpse of the photo before it was snatched up.

“Are you saying…” Pellegrino picked up the photo before his now pale faced opponent could reach for it and stared at it. He easily recognized the broad shouldered man standing before them now but it was the other man, the one with deep green eyes and full and thick dark blond hair with streaks of light blond running through it, that had his and the Moderator’s eyes opening wide. “Jared? Is this…” he let go when the photo was snatched away to allow Jensen to stare at it. “When you accused Jensen of lying about his views…are you trying to say that Jensen is gay and that he and you have a…”

“Jensen and I grew up in this town together,” Jared still didn’t look away from the man; he could hear shouts from backstage but was locked on the way Jensen was staring at the photo of them and Nicky. “He was the rich kid; I was the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. We were best friends long before I worked up the guts to tell him I thought I was gay. He helped me through school because I had a mild form of dyslexia but he helped me.

“Even though I’m a year older, he used to knock the assholes down after I came out at 16. We knew he was gay but he didn’t want to be locked up or his brain fried, so he waited until he was 21 for him to come out and it wasn’t long after that we left town together. A year later our son was born,” he glanced over to look at a clearly shocked Moderator and a surprised but shrewdly looking Pellegrino. “Jensen gave birth to our son a month before he vanished and I was threatened to change the birth certificate and a broken arm later told me to stop trying to contact him. I did…until this came up because I’ll be damned if his racist father will use him, use whatever he did to Jensen to make him leave us, to spread his hate and hurt other people.”

“Oh my God,” the man who had been moderating the debate was almost as pale as Jensen.

The noise of the reporters, the sounds of cameras, of whispers, of screams of rage and arguing from backstage faded away as Jared looked back into narrowed green eyes without a sign of recognition. “You don’t know me, do you?” He asked, but knew the answer when blankness stared back at him and he had to force his eyes not to tear up. “What the fuck did you do to him?” He demanded as he tossed a hot look back to where Richard Ackles had shoved through the State Troopers blocking him to storm the stage with his wife behind him and this time grabbed his son by the neck to force him to move. “You couldn’t stand to let him go. To let him be happy. You used your damn money to threaten people until someone he trusted sold him out, told you where we were and then you dragged him away from his family! This isn’t Jensen! This is some puppet you think you can control! This is…”

“Shut your goddamn mouth before I shut it for you, faggot!” Richard growled as he shoved a still stunned looking Jensen back to where his manager and guards stood to hustle him out. “You made a huge mistake pulling this stunt, Padalecki! You will never ruin my son again! You will never…”

“Richard! Is what this boy saying true?” Pellegrino demanded as he shot to his feet, putting himself in front of the enraged Texan, shoving him back a step. “Is that photo of Jensen with him and that baby correct? Did Jensen…is Jensen a carrier? Is he gay? And this whole platform a lie?”

“My son is not gay and he is not one of those things,” Richard replied tightly, looking down to where Jared stood with fists clenched. “If he ever was, he’s not now because He saw fit to fix him and now he will never be bothered with you or that…”

A hard body shoved between him to nudge him back a step while Chris Kane whispered something in his ear to make him frown but then he was storming off the stage, ignoring the moderator or other members of the election board who were demanding answers.

“Remember what I said, kiddo,” Chris said before he too walked off the stage and several reporters all began rushing to try to corner the retreating candidate and his furious family while a few hung back to try to ask Pellegrino questions and get Jared to speak to them.

“I’ll give a statement later tonight after I’ve spoken to my campaign advisors as well as the main board in Austin,” the tall blonde man said while stepping off the stage to eye Jared who looked more defeated than anything else. “Is it true?” He asked again, motioning back to the now empty podium. “Jensen Ackles was your…”

“Best friend. Boyfriend. Partner. Father of my son. Yes and no, I guess you could say,” Jared sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose, disgusted at how he’d handled it and knowing he’d never get close to Jensen again to try to make him see the truth…if that would even be possible now as it was pretty clear what must have happened to the man. “The Jensen I grew up with and fell in love with got pregnant, carried and gave birth to our…my son. This man today…this man that’s been filled with lies and hate? That’s not my Jensen. I don’t know that man but I now have suspicions on what happened to him and I’ll prove it. I’ll give my boss his story and I’ll prove that right there, on this stage today, was the results of their re-education process.”

Pellegrino eyed the younger man closely. “Send my office what proof you have and I’ll help you get to the bottom of it,” he said, offering his hand but frowning when Jared merely shook his head. “Jared…this is beyond some reporter from some small town in North Carolina. If you want the board in Austin to believe you and not Ackles’ blustering about lies and set-ups you’ll need…”

“Before Jensen started saying all that crap and pissed me off I wasn’t even going to do this here because I could see what you were doing all afternoon during the debate, Mr. Pellegrino,” Jared’s smile was grim, small as he faced the man while feeling eyes on him from somewhere and knowing he needed to make his exit and fast. “You were leading Jensen around, trying to get him to lose his temper or say something your side could use against him. I didn’t want to give you ammo but then he made me mad, which he was actually always very good at doing when he wanted to, and I confronted him.

“So now you have your ammo or enough to start an investigation into what happened to him or what his father and his hired thugs did to him to take away the good, loving man who hated politics, who hated racists, and who was proud of who he was and replaced him with…that man who sees and says what he’s told,” he turned to start to push his way through the few reporters and the State Troopers who were still there only to pause to look back. “I guess in some way Jensen’s as much a victim as the other people who weren’t understood or whose folks hated what they were or wanted to be. I’d help him if I could but…I guess after causing this that I’ll be lucky to help myself and my son.”

Jared ignored the questions or voices that followed him as he walked out of the Town Hall to head to where he’d parked his car, glad it was a rental with Texas plates as he saw that it hadn’t been damaged so far as he slid inside to rest his head against the steering wheel for a long moment before slamming his fist into the dashboard. “Damn it! Damn it and damn all of them for hurting him!”

He drove back to the hotel, wishing he’d just checked out that morning because now he really just wanted to get the hell out of Shepherd’s Port and never look back, even though a piece of Jared still longed to find a way to take Jensen with him and maybe find someone, a specialist, to undo the damage that had been done.

Of course he also figured by now the Ackles family had probably locked Jensen down somewhere while they tried to do damage control on his campaign hopes. Jared just hoped Jensen wouldn’t be hurt because of his stupid plan to confront him in public.

He opened the door to his room with plans to grab his bags, toss them in the car, checkout and head to Dallas to maybe get an earlier flight home. He was missing his son now more than ever and just wanted to hug Nicky and tell him he loved him no matter what the future might bring.

Jared slid his keycard down the lock, pushed it open and started to step inside when a hard shove between his shoulder blades sent him stumbling into the room.

“You never should’ve showed your damn face in this town or around my boy, Padalecki.”

The deep voice of Richard Ackles was heard as Jared went to catch himself on his hands only to feel a hard pointed toed boot kick him on one side, knocking him to the floor as the door was slammed shut.

“You were warned to stay away and it only cost you a broken arm and some bruises. Now it’s going to cost you a lot more, boy. Show him boys.”

Jared fought to get his breath as he went to get up, to try to defend himself but a quick look showed him there was probably four or five of the muscled goons with the senior Ackles and they were only too happy to follow his orders as he was jerked to his feet before he could even start to fight back.

“I’m…I’m not the only one who remembers Jensen…from back then, Ackles,” he gasped out as the series of punches and blows to his stomach, ribs, and face eased off for a second while the men switched places with two always holding his arms while the other three and the gloating and sneering older man punched or kicked him. “Others…others know who and…what he…ugh!”

“Oh, the few of those ‘people’ that I couldn’t pay off to forget those lies had some unfortunate accidents,” Richard sneered, grabbing a handful of hair to jerk Jared’s head back while one of his thugs gave the battered young journalist a swift and hard kick to his already bruised side. “Nobody who’s smart will ever remember that sad time in Jensen’s life. He doesn’t even remember it and he never will. The doctors and men I had work a year on him did the job right, so that stunt you pulled won’t do anything but cost me some money to buy off the right people. But it will cost you.”

Jared had a moment to fear for his life. He knew what the man was capable of or what he would do to ensure this scandal didn’t go any further than it had already. Then another thought hit him and he suddenly found the strength to try to struggle against the strong hands holding him.

“You do what you want to me, bastard. You never liked me or approved of my friendship with Jensen. You got what you wanted. You got him away from me, got his brain twisted around your little finger so he doesn’t remember me or our life together…ugh! But…you will not touch our son!” He spat out, tasting blood and feeling another kick to the gut that took him back to his knees after he’d managed to fight back a little.

“I could have that little monster gone and buried in some sinkhole even before you got back to where you’ve been hiding under a rock, faggot!” Richard bragged, slapping Jared across his face but getting more enraged when he didn’t see the fear he wanted. “My money buys me what I want, boy! My money will buy a seat in the Senate one way or another and once I get that, then I’ll make sure all those damn stupid laws protecting your kind get pulled away.”

A hard hand gabbed Jared’s jaw to force him to look into wild hateful eyes. “Whatever you hoped to gain by this stunt, whether you thought seeing you or some stupid picture would trigger a miraculous resurgence of memory or could get him back, won’t be happening, boy,” he sneered, squeezing tightly while giving a mocking slap to Jared’s head before he gave him a shove and stepped back. “You’ll never get close to my freak of a son and if Jensen happens to start acting up, well a few weeks ‘away’ might be called for. But I will make damn certain to ruin whatever life you’ve built. Now I have to go start fixing this little set-back. Boys? Make him bleed and then dump his ass somewhere; dead or alive don’t matter. Just make an example outta him.”

“Yes, Sir, Mr. Ackles,” one of the men said with a smirk as he began to roll up his sleeves. “Been awhile since me and the boys got to have any real fun. Ever since the boss put Kane in charge of security for the faggot, or ex-faggot I guess we’re supposed to be calling him, we can’t cut loose like we used to be able to,” he punched Jared in the sternum with enough force that it took his breath away for a brief panicking moment. “Self-righteous ex-soldier thinks he’s better than the rest of us grunts when everyone in this town knows not to cross us or pay the price. Just like you’ll learn that lesson and…what the goddamn hell?”

There’d been a brief but hard rapping on the motel door that one of the other thugs had shouted a threat to and told whoever it was to ‘mind their own business’. While the one guy who appeared to be the one in charge now was pulling on a pair of brass knuckles to continue his beating of the asshole who’d tossed a huge wrench in their boss’s plans, the sound came of a shot from outside blowing the knob off the door just as a foot kicked it in.

“Hello, boys.”

The accented voice that spoke took the five muscled guards off guard but so did the sudden sound of a shotgun being pumped, while two other pistols were cocked making it apparent the rather short man with receding black hair wasn’t alone.

“Who the fuck are you supposed to be?” The leader demanded as he started to turn only to grunt when the butt of the shotgun collided with his midsection.

“If I told you that then I’d have to kill your sorry asses…which I suppose we should do anyway, but that’s not in the plans tonight,” the man said in an almost fatalistic tone while nodding his head to the other two men with him. “Take out the trash, lads,” he instructed while giving a good kick to the gut of the man he’d just leveled before stepping over him to look down at where Jared was now struggling to push up off the ground. The other goons lost interest in him in order to defend their own, only to find that it was a lot harder when their opponents actually seemed to know how to fight back. “So, I certainly hope you’re worth spoiling four of the most goddamn bloody boring years of my life over, mate.”

Jared had to blink his eyes clear and peer up from under his hair to try to bring the man dressed in dark clothing into view. He heard sounds of a quick fight taking place before two of the bodyguards managed to escape and the other three were laid out unconscious. “Who…who are you?” he asked while spitting out blood, happy not to see any teeth or feel anything loose as he was tugged painfully to his feet.

“Just like I told the bully boys, if I told you who I was then I’d have to kill you and that would sort of spoil the whole saving your ass thing I just had to do,” the man replied with an eye roll, throwing a look over his shoulder to look at a guy with a cellphone. “If that was the ringleader of this little party, did he happen to say what he expects me to do with the kid now what we’ve probably saved him from having his ass lynched?”

“Take him to Dallas, put him on a plane and make sure no one follows him back there from here until we see how this is playing out,” the man with the phone was younger than the other, tall with short blond hair but a friendly smile as he waited out the grumbling tossed his way. “Weren’t you just moaning about being bored?”

Jared had to sit down when his ribs and mid-section reminded him of the beating he’d taken. “I…I should change first,” he muttered, seeing the blood on his jeans and shirt. “They’d never let me on a plane looking like this.”

“We’ll grab a room close to the airport,” the short accented guy said while tossing one of Jared’s bags to the smirking blond. “Get his stuff loaded in that ugly rental and drive him to the airport, make sure he gets cleaned up first. We’ll follow just to be sure there’s no tail since once those two you boys let go report back, that old nut job will be madder than a bloody wet hen.”

“Wait, what?” Jared was just now catching up as he was nudged and pushed out of the motel room and into the passenger side of his rental. “Who are you guys? Why…why did you help me? How’d you know to help me?” He tried to ask but the one guy with the accent merely rolled his eyes after shutting his door and walked away.

The blonde who’d spoken looked over at him with a small smile of understanding. “It doesn’t matter who we are, kid. All that matters is that someone thinks you’re worth more alive than in a ditch outside of this town or tossed in a hole in some field,” he said.

Jared chewed his bottom lip while trying to get a cut above his eye to stop bleeding. “If this is Mr. Pellegrino’s ploy to get me to give him what else I might have or talk to him more about me and Jensen then…”

“Kid, trust me. The last possible person in this state you ever want to deal with, other than Ackles, is Mark Pellegrino,” the guy behind the wheel said while handing him another cloth to wipe his face with. “He’s not as squeaky clean or innocent as he’s making himself out to be right now. The best thing for you to do is head back to where you came from and watch your damn back for the next few months until this either blows over or it gets settled another way.”

“I screwed up,” Jared let his head bang back against the seat. “Do you think Jensen will be hurt because of what I did?” he asked. He could recall the way his friend’s parents used to punish him when they’d been kids and had a hunch it would be even worse now.

The driver didn’t answer right away and then he slowly let out a sigh. “Honestly? Yeah, Ackles is in danger but just so you don’t beat yourself up, it isn’t all because of you or what you let loose. He’s in danger from a lot of other things and won’t ever know it because his head has been all screwed up.”

“Well if you know he’s in danger can’t you, whoever the hell you guys are, help him?” Jared demanded while trying to remind himself that he needed to stop caring. It was too late to help Jensen and he had his own worries to deal with.

“It’s a complicated situation,” the blonde said unhappily but then shut up for the rest of the ride.

Jared wasn’t sure who his mysterious rescuers were but had stopped asking. He was still wondering what was happening with Jensen but as he took a quick shower in a motel room just down from the Dallas/Fort Worth airport, he finally made himself stop.

It had been seven years since he’d lost his friend. He’d seen for himself that the man he’d known, had loved, was no longer the man he saw today, the man who had looked him in the face after saying things that his Jensen never would’ve dreamed of saying.

As he was pulling a clean shirt on over his badly bruised ribs and stomach, a knock came on the door. Before he could tense, it was opening and the same guy who’d driven him stepped in to hold out a ticket and a small manila envelope.

“The boss got your flight changed so you’re out of here in 20 minutes. Grab your stuff so we can get you through security,” he said while slinging one of Jared’s bags might sound better over his shoulder. “Also, if anything…weird happens back home or someone shows up on your door that shouldn’t or you see anyone new in town, call the number on the card. Tell whoever answers who you are, what’s going on and then do whatever the hell they say until someone gets to you.”

Jared paused to look at him. “You think they’ll come after Nicky.”

That was his biggest fear and Jared could have kicked himself for what he’d started by following his own selfish desires.

“Dude, you are the biggest threat to everyone right now. You’re an adult who has already made a huge impact on a very rocky political shit storm and you are the one who can take a lie detector test to prove what you say about Jensen Ackles is true,” the man said while walking Jared through the not so crowded airport until they reached security. “Your kid is little and probably doesn’t even know who the other half of his DNA belongs to, so I’d say the only threat to him is that people might feel like they can use him against you. All I’m saying is watch your back for a while, okay?”

Nodding, Jared stepped through security and then headed to board his flight, never fully relaxing until he was back in North Carolina and walking through his front door to scoop his running son into his arms as he dropped to his knees inside the door.

“Daddy!” Nicky shouted happily, long arms wrapping around his father’s neck as he and the puppy both tried to vie for attention. “Hi! Did you miss us? Did you bring us anything? Dani only had one fire but Sam put it out and then wouldn’t let her near the stove anymore and Chad hung out and he has a new deputy that I think he likes ‘cause he acts silly when she’s around and…”

Jared only understood a few words of the excited seven year old’s rattling of words while the horse like puppy licked his face and tried to push between him and his son until Jared moved one arm to pet him as well.

“I missed you and Nemo more than anything, Nicky,” he said while resting his head against soft blonde hair and praying he could control his emotions until his son was asleep. “I…I didn’t have much time to stop at the souvenir shop at the airport, but this weekend if the weather’s nice maybe we’ll drive to the beach and you can pick out something at one of the shops there, okay?”

“Can Nemo come too?” Nicky never liked to go anywhere, including school, without his puppy but he especially hated road trips to the beach without him. “He was really good, Daddy. He only had one little accident.”

Jared kissed the top of Nicky’s head before nodding and then trying to get to his feet without grimacing so neither his son nor a closely watching Danneel Harris saw the pain he was in. He didn’t think he was too successful on the latter when he saw her face tighten slightly. “Sure, sport. Nemo can come too,” he told him while ruffling his hair.

“Hey Nicky? How about you go get that sticker your teacher sent home for getting your homework all correct while I talk to your Dad a second?” Dani asked with a warm small as the little boy took off upstairs with Nemo following. “What the hell happened to you?” She demanded the second they were alone, stepping forward to gingerly turn Jared’s face since after she’d seen him wincing and noticed he’d been hiding one side of his face more than the other. “Oh my God, Jared! Did Ackles’ have this done?”

The debate had been shown live and not all of the stations had cut their coverage off allowing Jared’s altercation with the candidate, including his admission of their past and their son, to be shown

Danneel had been scared to death to send Nicky to school that day in case anyone else in Birkshead had seen the news or read the papers, but Sam Ferris had come by to personally take the innocent of all the adult drama child to school so she could speak to the clearly stunned, but supportive, Principal and teachers to be sure Nicky would be safe and treated like normal.

“His father and his goons did this,” Jared sighed as he headed for the kitchen for something to drink and some pain pills. “I won’t go into details since I’m sure you probably saw it or read the papers.”

It had been while he was high in the air flying home that it hit Jared that his neighbors, friends, and co-workers had probably either had seen the news, watched the debate, or read one of the many papers covering the debate. He was furious with himself for not considering that and had been worried all that day since his phone had picked that time to die on him so he couldn’t call home and of course, the Wi-Fi at the airport had been too spotty to email Danneel either, to ask what the reaction had been.

“Nicky’s school, the Principal, his teachers, and all but a couple sets of parents were supportive and understanding. I don’t even think he’s aware that his father caused what could be a national political scandal,” Danneel made a small icepack while listening for sounds of child and puppy returning. “Sam and Chad both said if you encounter any issues to call them, especially our local Sheriff who I think might have spit soda out his nose he said when he watched it and realized what you’d done. Do you realize what you’ve done, Jared?”

“I didn’t until I was getting the crap kicked out of me and I was flying home to think that people here probably saw or read about me. So after so long of hiding it or avoiding any direct questions I…outed myself and my son without even meaning to,” Jared sighed, looking up at his friend with a worried frown. “How mad is Jeff?”

“Jeff will just be glad to know you made it home in…almost one piece,” the woman said with a smile, patting his face while hearing Nicky running down the steps. “I didn’t actually set anything on fire. It just sparked. He needs a bath and I’ll come by tomorrow if you don’t come into work, which I think Jeff will let you skate until Monday once I tell him how you look.”

Jared nodded, standing to walk her to the door. “I…I have some stuff for the story but…I…I need to think about some of it,” he told her, not surprised to see her fine eyebrows lift slightly. “I know I told Jeff I could do it but even though I’m going to give it to you to probably handle now…there are some things I need to get straight before turning it over.”

Danneel and Jeffrey Dean Morgan had already talked about this. Both had known Jared long enough to suspect once it was all said and done, his sense of honor, his need to protect, might still come into play and even though he’d ignited a firestorm of trouble, for not only himself but the candidate in question, they figured Jared might need time to come to terms with what he really wanted from this story.

Jeff wanted to expose a scandal and a lying politician but as Danneel watched Jared look down at a smiling freckle faced green eyed boy, she wondered if Jared realized how much he still cared for the man behind the scandal and lies, despite his earlier words or thoughts.

“Jared, I don’t know what happened in Texas but…when you’re ready to talk you know we’re here to listen and to help you in any way,” she said while kissing his cheek before kneeling to give a noisy kiss to a squealing and laughing Nicky. “Be good for your Dad, youngster.”

Nicky was wiping at his cheeks while still laughing and fake choking about having girl cooties, even as he held out his special sticker proudly. “Mrs. Lee said I’m her smartest student in spelling four syllable words and I can spell Mississippi backwards without pausing too,” he told his father proudly, climbing on the sofa to sit beside Jared while Nemo jumped on the other side. “Daddy? Did something happen on your job?”

“No, nothing happened,” Jared didn’t want to scare the boy and hoped if someone had said anything to him that he hadn’t been too upset by it. “Why? Did something happen here because of what Daddy did?”

A little shoulder jerked in a way that Jared swore was also a habit Jensen used to have when wanting to avoid a topic. “Nicky? I’m going to tell you that Daddy might’ve done or said some stuff that might make people ask more questions about us, or me, or look at us a little oddly for a little bit. But if anyone bothers you I want you to tell a teacher, tell me or another adult you trust, okay?”

“Yeah, it was just that new kid popped off something about you and my other Daddy and called me abnormal,” Nicky’s eyes shot up as he then smacked his fist into his other hand. “Then Bobby bopped him in the eye and the teacher sent them both to the Principal but Bobby didn’t get yelled at ‘cause she said he was defending me.”

Jared made a mental-note to go into the school on Monday to speak with the Principal in case she had any questions, but right then he decided both he and his son needed to sleep. After he got Nicky through a bath and tucked into bed with Nemo lying right beside him on his blanket on the floor, he fell into his own bed with a groan.

He knew his body would be sore but it was more the lingering pain in his heart that was bothering him. He opened the drawer of the nightstand beside the bed to take out the small velvet box he still kept to open the lid and stare at the matching set of gold bands.

Jared had bought the rings right after Nicky had been born. He’d put them on layaway soon after Jensen had learned he was pregnant and had worked hard to pay them off. He regretted never having the chance to ask Jensen to marry him but now guessed it might have been for the best.

He ran his finger over them before closing the box and putting it back in the drawer that also held several of Nicky’s first baby items as well as a few items that he knew old man Ackles would shit himself if he suspected he still had, or what they could mean to some people.

“I’m sorry, Jensen,” he whispered as he stared up at the ceiling to think back to when they were just foolish kids thinking of a future where they’d leave all the hate and bigotry behind.

Jared slept restlessly but blamed his ribs and side hurting for his uneasy sleep and not his worry about what might be happening back in Texas. He convinced himself as he shaved carefully, while Nicky sat on the floor to regale him with tales of what their friend the Sheriff was up to in the few days Jared had been away, that he was not feeling scared and guilty that he’d incited the often too brutal Ackles’ family to possibly lock Jensen away again over something that he hadn’t known was coming that day.

He worked to tell himself that he didn’t care because the man he’d loved was gone and this one was a total and cold stranger. He kept telling himself that as he and Nicky walked Nemo down to the small park in Birkshead so Nicky could run and play with the puppy without destroying the house.

While sitting on a bench watching his son and puppy play he kept going back to the haunted look he thought he’d seen in Jensen’s eyes when Jensen glanced at the photo briefly before it was snatched away from him, as he heard what Jared had said, but dismissed it quickly. He thought about it but tried to tell himself it didn’t matter now.

Jared knew he still had a son to raise and he would make sure Nicky was loved and would never know the hate or petty racism that he knew was out there.

He noticed some people looking at him and then looking away quickly, but so far no one had said anything and for that he was grateful. Jared would take whatever was thrown his way but he would not have it happen in front of Nicky.

Nicky had asked him about his bruises and why he was moving so funny but Jared had just said his Daddy was clumsy and had run into a door which got a laugh since the little boy had seen Jared trip over his own feet a few times. It was a habit Nicky sometimes shared, though more often than not he seemed to have inherited Jensen’s gracefulness, despite having Jared’s long arms and legs.

Dinner that night consisted of pizza and burgers because Jared didn’t feel like cooking and Nicky liked to call in food and then wait by the door when it was delivered.

While waiting for the food, Jared took calls from Jeff who he assured that he was okay and would talk more on Monday, as well as a call from the local Sheriff, Chad Michael Murray, who was not happy to learn he’d gotten beaten up in Texas or that someone might come to their town to make a point.

“Oh hell no!” He exclaimed while tapping a pencil on his desk and running his fingers through his short blonde hair. “Ain’t no one from Texas coming to _my_ town and buggin’ you or my little buddy. I have a gun, a badge, and a permit to shoot assholes. I will shoot them and you’d better be calling me if anyone bothers you or Nicky.”

The one thing Jared loved about this town was how protective most of the people were toward the children. He knew in his heart that if anything or anyone came from Texas after him, that the people he knew well in Birkshead would not let anything happen to his son if he wasn’t around him at the time.

Playing outside all day wore his son and the too active puppy out so Jared managed to get him through his bath, got his teeth brushed and then after both Nicky and Nemo were sound asleep. He just stared at his little boy from the doorway while thinking of his past and the man he’d loved and had lost.

Jared was tired, physically and emotionally from his trip as well as his still hurting body, as he tried to decide what the hell he was going to do come Monday. He knew Danneel could write a killer expose and he wanted to bring Richard Ackles’ and the crooked campaign manager and everyone else involved into the light. But then when he thought of this, Jared also knew he didn’t want to hurt Jensen more.

He understood the man wouldn’t understand the allegations since to him it was plain that life wasn’t remembered, even though Jared could prove it, but…Jared stared at the empty picture frame and wondered how long it had taken one of the Ackles’ or their minions to burn it.

Jared was thinking about his past when the knock came to the door. He recalled the warnings he’d received, as well as the threats, so was cautious when he looked out the small window before opening his door to a man that he knew not only shouldn’t be in North Carolina but also shouldn’t have just collapsed into his arms, shaking like a leaf and with bruises on his face and neck.

“Jen…”

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Five**

** Present Time: Birkshead, North Carolina  **

“Jen? Jensen? Hey, can you hear me? C’mon, I need you to try to open your eyes for me.”

“He’s busted up pretty bad, Jared. Most of these bruises are fresh and the amount of needle marks in places where they couldn’t be seen easily concerns me. He should be in a hospital.”

“Yeah, well I don’t think that would be a good plan, Sam. If he’s here without any of the goons then that means he somehow got here in his own. It will also mean people are probably already looking for him, so…”

“I’ve got a car stationed outside the house, I’m inside the house, and I can call in backup if anyone does show up looking for him. The questions I have for you, Jaybird, are… Why is this guy here, why the hell does he look almost as banged up as you and why the hell did he pass out in your doorway?”

Jared Padalecki could only shake his head to all of Chad Michael Murray’s questions. He’d called Chad, as well as Samantha Ferris, right after he’d gotten over the shock that Jensen Ackles wasn’t just at his house but had collapsed in his arms.

Then he’d noticed the man’s bruises as well as how pale he looked under the light, how badly he’d been shaking and swallowed his shock to carefully pick him up and carry him upstairs to the Master bedroom rather than the shorter path to the sofa in the living room.

The moment Sam walked in the door she was swearing under her breath and telling him to start helping her remove some of Jensen’s clothes so she could see how badly he was hurt and to put some ice water in a bowl to use to wipe the clearly fevered man’s face with.

Jared had seen the bruises on Jensen’s face, on his throat and had thought he’d caught something on his wrists but it was when he unbuttoned the shirt, the same shirt he’d sworn Jensen had been wearing at the debate, that his breath had caught in his throat and he had to bite back the curses that were on the tip of his tongue.

Jensen had always been lean but with a rugged build, with long legs since he was 6’1”. Even when carrying Nicky, he’d still kept his build and had regained his trim body quickly in the month after their son was born. Now as he removed the shirt Jared was actually shocked to see how much weight he’d lost, how many ribs were visible and how many bruises as well as much older scars and wounds were evident on his skin. Though what nearly did Jared in was when he looked down and saw the obvious scar across Jensen’s flat stomach.

“Oh my God,” he whispered, afraid to think what that meant since he knew Jensen hadn’t had that before. He ran the tip of the washcloth down over Jensen’s face and inwardly seethed as the man cringed and whimpered in his sleep, lips murmuring soundlessly while twisting restlessly but making no move to shove at the hands on him. “What did they do to him?” He asked, eyes wide with an almost helplessness as he stared at a grim faced Sam. “Why would anyone do this to him?”

Samantha took in the scars, the marks that appeared to be a good six or so years old and suspected those had come from the original ‘re-education’ process. The stomach scar however made her suspect what she’d tried to tell Jared about the other day; she feared not only had Jensen’s family had him sterilized so he couldn’t conceive again but they also had made it impossible to even carry a child again. Right then though she had to focus on seeing how badly hurt Jensen was then and also to keep Jared calm as she watched his jaw clench. “Jared…this isn’t your fault.”

“If I hadn’t gone there, if I hadn’t lost my temper at what he was saying and confronted him like I did, if I hadn’t thrown our past, a past he doesn’t even remember, in his face in front of a room full of people, his damn father wouldn’t have had reason to get angry with him and let his goons do this.” Jared had been feeling guilty since he left Texas but now he was angry.

He was angry at himself but most of all, he was angry with Richard Ackles and anyone else who’d hurt Jensen in the way he was seeing now as he continued to bathe the man’s face while ignoring the muttering Chad was doing as he paced the room and as Sam cleaned some bad welts on Jensen’s arms.

Jared’s fingers shook as they carded back through too short, sweat soaked, dark blond hair when he felt something on Jensen’s scalp, toward the back, and then on the side down by his neck that made him go still. “Sam?” He whispered tightly, afraid to look because he was afraid of seeing what he thought he would and knowing if he had actual proof that someone had shocked his ex-lover’s brain, like in some old horror movie, that he would probably lose it.

Sam had looked up and then gently parted the short hair to see the still visible burns left from electrodes being left on for too long and the energy going through them being too strong. “You’ve read about the old time methods to re-educate people, Jared,” she began quietly, stating to reach over the restless young man on the bed to pat Jared’s tense hand when suddenly, the hand that had been still, jerked and knocked hers away. She pulled back, not needing to mention anything of it right then but did find it odd because to Sam it was almost as if Jensen’s reaction was to keep her from touching Jared. “They used to strap them to in a chair or a bed or to a table and use shock therapy to try to realign their brainwaves into a more correct pattern. They believed that being homosexual could be fixed with shocks. In the case of Mr. Ackles here…I think they pulled out all the stops including physical torture as well by the looks of his back and these other scars.”

“All because his goddamn family couldn’t stand to see him happy and were afraid he would tarnish the family image.” Jared longed to put his fist through not only the elder Ackles’ face but that of Chris Kane, who he blamed for telling Ackles where he and Jensen lived to begin with. “But still, if I hadn’t gone…”

“Morgan would’ve still sent Danneel or Welling to sniff out the scandal he thought there might be and it still would’ve come out…well maybe not this, but something,” Chad remarked as he stood by the slightly cracked bedroom door so he could hear if Nicky made any noise. “Dude, you didn’t do this so stop hating yourself and start asking the bigger questions. How’d this guy, who from what you said was basically under guard and probably lock and key by his old man and the crazies back there, get free to come here and…how’d he get here or even know how to find you?” He asked seriously, putting all trace of his usual laid back, happy go lucky self on the shelf to be the Sheriff. “I saw some car in the drive that I know wasn’t yours but it had some weird tags on it and for the moment I put it in your garage with a tarp over it until I can run the tags or make it disappear if you’re going to want to try to hide him here.”

“Well I’m not sending him back to them if he did make a break for whatever reason,” Jared replied with a scoff, hearing Sam offer another curse as she gently tried to unfold Jensen’s one hand, the one that had still held the battered and crinkled photo even after he’d collapsed. “Sam?”

“Someone broke his middle finger but never set it, so it healed improperly.” She’d worked in many clinics in California and it burned her to see even old wounds that had been left to heal wrong. “It looks like someone might’ve tried to…Jared?”

Jared had moved to wring out the cloth again when he turned to see fingers trying to fight to keep the photo that Sam had tried to move, while long lashes began to flutter restlessly against pale and bruised cheeks as if the man under them was trying to wake up but wasn’t sure how to.

He started to reach over when suddenly Jensen’s other hand moved and Jared caught it automatically. “Jensen? Hey, sugar? Can you open your eyes for me?” He asked without even being aware of the long since used endearment or the way his tone dropped to one he only used with Jensen when trying to soothe his boyfriend if he was upset or during the long 19 hours it took to bring their son into the world. “Jen? It’s okay. I promise that you’re safe here but I need you to wake up a little for me now; just to tell me how you feel or how you got here and then you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t think he has a concussion, despite how dilated his eyes look since they react to light and…Okay, he’s going to be a cranky patient,” Sam wasn’t sure to be amused or concerned when she tried to peel back a flickering eyelid to shine a small light in only to have her patient jerk his head away from her touch with a soft mutter that she didn’t catch but that Jared seemed to as she saw his surprise and then a small grin.

“He…um…he never has liked having anything shined in his eyes,” Jared was hard pressed not to laugh at the so familiar muttered curse he barely heard as Jensen tried to turn away from Sam and more into him; wondered if Jensen knew how familiar these actions were to his old self, but figured he probably didn’t. “Jensen? It’s okay. Sam’s not trying to hurt you but…damn, I forgot what looking into his eyes was like.”

Jensen Ackles’ green eyes were mostly all pupils when they opened enough to look up into deep and concerned looking hazel eyes. He could hear other voices, a man and a woman, close to him but he wasn’t alert enough to focus on them. He’d woken up this far, struggled past a jumble of voices, pain, lies, and fears because he’d followed another voice; the voice that had not only rocked his world a few days earlier but had also been in the back of his mind for six years since the accident that he suddenly and sickeningly knew had been something his parents had made up to excuse the blank hole that had become his whole earlier life.

From the moment he’d been literally dragged off the stage in the Town Hall, shoved into the limo with his furious and enraged parents and campaign manager until they got back to his ‘campaign headquarters’, which was nothing but a section of the huge Ackles’ mansion outside of town, Jensen’s head had been spinning while his chest felt tight.

“How could you let that horrible and awful man into the building?” Jane Ackles was screaming at Chris Kane as she ripped the photo that Jensen had been holding out of his hands to spit on it, ball it up and throw it in the trashcan near the desk. “You’re head of his security detail Christian! You should’ve recognized that faggot and barred him from even…”

“He had a legit press badge. If you want to bring more heat down than what you’ve already had or might have now, then deny a member of the press entrance to an event and see what happens,” Chris returned evenly and met the petite woman’s hateful gaze fully. “Your own behaviors endangered this campaign more than the Padalecki kid making a return.” He slid his eyes around the room while crossing his arms. “If you and Collins hadn’t started acting like Jensen couldn’t handle it or start screaming racial slurs on stage and just calmly tried to deflect the accusations, you wouldn’t have the top dogs of the board of election calling for your heads on a platter now.

“My job is to protect Jensen from the enemies you made him by going on this obvious anti-gay rant. It’s not my job to block the press from asking questions, even if one of them drops one hell of a bombshell; one that he might not have if you hadn’t made your kid into the most hated politician in years,” he aimed this at an angry Richard Ackles while offering a slow smirk. “You used me before without telling me what you planned to do to him. If you think Jared can blow your little campaign to Hell, then you’d better think really hard before screwing with me, old man.”

Misha Collins went to shove a quiet and still confused Jensen back a step only to be yanked around by his loosed tie to be confronted by the heated eyes of the bodyguard while the other security looked on in uncertainty.

“What part of that job description slipped your ears, Collins?” Chris demanded and gave the black haired political advisor a shove of his own. “I protect him from the nuts out there as well as the ones inside his camp too,” he shot Jensen’s parents a hard look. “You pay this asshole how much for his ‘help’ and reacting like a couple bigoted nuts in front of all the cameras is going to help Jensen’s campaign how? Or do you actually want him to lose so Pellegrino will get the seat?”

Richard’s face tightened and Misha began stuttering out his outrage at being spoken to by an underling, Chris’s smile hardened while noticing that Jensen had moved closer to the desk but kept staring at his parents. “Yeah, I kind of wondered how that went.”

“I could fire you, boy!” The senior man growled in contempt. He’d hated Kane when he was a smart mouthed boy who used to hang out with his son but had used him where he could and decided to make use of his skills when he returned to Texas. But now he wasn’t caring for his attitude or how he didn’t bow down like his other guards knew to. “I can…”

“You can’t do a damn thing to me and you know it, Ackles.” Chris moved his gaze to the door when he saw the tall, gaunt looking man he knew was the family’s mad scientist, the one who the family used to keep their puppet in line and docile when he might start to think for himself. “All my family’s gone now so the excuse to boot my Mom out of her house that you used to get me to betray Jensen seven years ago is all gone. Also, unlike the rest of this town or the bully boys who work for you, like the ones I know you sent to the motel after the kid, you can’t threaten me,” he took a step forward just because he knew it would make all three angry people back up. “And if you try to get rid of me like you have so many others? Or try what you did to Jensen? Just remember, I literally know where all the bodies are and I will bury you with them.”

“Get out! Just get out!” Jane screamed, picking up something from the desk to throw it only to gasp when her wrist was grabbed. “Jensen!”

Jensen was used to being mocked or screamed at for something he did or said wrong. He was used to the abuse by his parents, even by his always too close campaign manager or a few of the meaner guards. He was used to it and usually he would retreat into himself to escape the loud voices or painful slaps or the needles they insisted he still needed in addition to pills he usually tried to pretend to take but then spit out, but this time he tried to focus his often scattered thoughts on what had happened as well as what was being said around him.

The confrontation at the debate had taken him by surprise. He’d been drilled both in the hospital while he’d been recovering from his ‘accident’, or ‘brutal attack’ depending on who was talking about him, and almost constantly since he’d come back to Texas; for some reason Jensen had never considered this as ‘home’ and he wasn’t sure why, but it had been drilled into him that he’d been avidly anti-gay, anti-MPG, and had always looked down on anyone who disagreed with those beliefs.

He was made to read books and flyers on great leaders of the causes they believed in. He was forced to watch videos of things that truly sickened him, listen to sermons in the family Church and was never allowed out of the sight of anyone in case he made a mistake.

By the time his family decided he’d run for a political office that Jensen didn’t want anything to do with but was made to agree with after his so-called manager had held him down while his father shoved a needle in his arm, Jensen had begun to believe that those had been his beliefs and he had just lost his passion along with his memories after the year he’d been in a coma.

It was locking eyes with the tall hazel eyed young man earlier that had started making him try to think, to make his thoughts focus. It was the punch to his gut and his heart when he’d glanced at the photo, the photo that now was a crumpled ball in the trash can, which made something start to open. That was also when he realized he’d heard that soft drawl somewhere else… Jensen had always just thought it was his brain playing with him as he healed because he could recall hearing that voice in the back of his head.

Right then there was something else he was focusing on, things he’d heard now as well as at other times when he’d been sleeping or he thought he’d been sleeping; now he began to wonder if he’d been asleep or drugged into a stupor.

“Is it true?” He asked, letting go as his mother jerked her hand away. He knew he’d just shocked everyone in the room because he rarely spoke unless he was told to or given a document to memorize before he spoke to anyone since his brain was so ‘damaged’.

“Go with Dr. Allen, boy,” his father growled with a dismissive wave of his hand, starting to turn to address Misha when he looked over his shoulder to frown. “I said go with the Doctor and get your shot and pills, Jensen. After today, you need some help relaxing. And then we’ll have to sit down and discuss your failures before I see about fixing this and…”

Jensen jerked away from the too skinny man that went to take him by the arm to step back while glaring at his parents. “Is what he said true?” He asked a bit more forcefully. “Have you all been lying to me about why I can’t remember anything before waking up in that damn hospital? Was there any attack? Was I beaten up so badly that it put me into a coma or…”

“You shut your goddamn mouth and do what your father tells you to!” Jane Ackles snapped harshly as she drew her hand back to slap her suddenly uncooperative son across his face, only to find her hand grabbed in a tight grip. “Richard! Do something! That horrible boy’s proximity to Jensen has undone something a year of time and money succeeded in fixing!”

“Fix?” Jensen stared at his mother and then started to look to his father when suddenly a fist landed in his face, taking him by surprise, which gave the guards who’d stayed after Chris had stormed out a chance to get him on the floor and beat the crap out of him until finally a sharp voice snapped that it was ‘enough’.

Richard motioned the scowling doctor, as well a clearly unhappy looking Misha, along with the guards and his wife away as he stepped closer to where his son had managed to pull his legs up to try to protect his midsection.

“This is the only lesson you will get about back talking your betters, boy!” he growled, grabbing his son’s bruised and bloodied face to jerk it up to glare into his eyes. “You think long on this and what else these boys could do if I let them! Come tomorrow, when I unlock this door you’d better be the obedient little tool Misha and I’ve been grooming you to be or else you’ll be finding yourself having another ‘accident’ and having to go on a long break back to that hospital that cost me so much money and a year of assurances that you could be ‘fixed’ of those goddamn conditions.”

Jensen stayed where he was on the floor of the office until after he heard the door slam shut, not surprised to also hear a key locking it from the outside since most of the rooms in this side of the house had locks his parents could use but he couldn’t. It was impossible to have privacy since he had no door, not even a bathroom door that could be locked from the inside.

Once he was certain everyone was gone, that no one like his so-called manager would be sneaking back, Jensen uncurled painfully to ease over until he could grab the crumpled photo out of the trash. Then he bit his tongue against the pain to curl up in a corner of the office to slowly try to spread the pieces of the ripped 8x10 out with shaking hands before struggling to use tape from the desk to fix as much as he could, needing to fix it.

He’d glanced at it briefly earlier but now that he was alone, now that he was trying to make himself see beyond his father’s threats, the doctors’ needles, and all the belittling, he looked at the wrinkled and taped photo and felt something lodge in his throat as he took in what appeared to be him but several years, more than five, younger.

Jensen touched his short hair while looking at how thick it was in the photo, and almost touching the middle of his neck while his green eyes looked happy, light and without the shadows and fear he knew he felt and had felt since waking up six years earlier.

He thought he’d heard the man…Jared, he knew that was the name he’d used when introducing himself to the moderator and Pellegrino, say it had been…seven years since he’d…they’d…

Jensen felt his stomach clench but he worked away from those thoughts for the moment, needing to focus on the little baby held in his…and they were his arms… to see bright green eyes, dimples as he…as the baby chewed on a toy and looked quite safe as he kicked his feet…Jensen wasn’t sure why he thought the infant had been kicking but he just seemed to know it because he seemed to be able to feel the warm and wiggly little body and knew that he was as active and restless as…

“Jared,” he whispered, voice clogging as his head suddenly ached while his heart pounded and he moved his eyes to the younger looking man with big hazel eyes, a dimpled smile and a joyous laugh that he could almost hear if he let himself go past a block of pain in his head.

_“‘Smile, Jen. Consider it our first family portrait.’”_

_“‘He’s as wiggly as you used to be as a kid. I’m scared I’ll drop him.’”_

_“‘He’s not a fish. He’s a baby and he’s one month old today so give me a smile, sugar.’”_

_“‘Yeah, he’s a baby. He’s our baby. Our first but not our last, Jay.’_ ”

“Jay,” he whispered this name while staring at the photo as sudden rushes of thoughts, confusing memories, and emotions swamped him. Jensen’s hand went to his stomach to the scar that had always bothered him, like a knife in his heart for a reason he never understood. Now he thought he might as he also began to understand more of the muffled conversations he’d heard or memories that he couldn’t place…until now as he suddenly felt something hot and wet on his hand and realized he’d been crying; brutal harsh sobs that had him rocking back into the corner while clutching the photo to his chest as he curled on the floor. “Jay…Ni…Nicky…damn it!”

\-------

“Jensen? Jen, hey! C’mon now, sugar, I need you to come back to me. _Jensen_!”

Brutal, hard sobs could be heard over the pounding of his own heart in his ears as flashes of the last night he’d been in Texas filled Jensen’s head along with a near panicked other voice while hands tried to hesitantly, awkwardly pat him as if unsure if touch would be accepted or welcomed by him from…

“J…Jared?” he gasped out, voice raw sounding even to his own ears or else that could be because his heart was pounding so hard. His chest was burning from breathing so rapidly as he fought too many confusing thoughts, fears, memories that he now weren’t sure were real or fake. The only thing Jensen was positive of as his hands reached up to catch the ones Jared was moving away, clutching at his wrists with trembling fingers, was that he needed to keep those hands on him to reassure him that he wasn’t losing his mind like he feared he was at times.

Jared was at a loss of what to do. He longed to pull Jensen into his arms, to hold him and protect him but he knew he couldn’t do that right then. Or not until he saw what Jensen might know, or even what he was trying to say, as he motioned Sam away from the bed after seeing that her presence along with Chad was making Jensen more on edge.

“Ummm…you passed out at the door so I brought you up here,” he began awkwardly, unsure where to start or what to say while keeping his eyes on Jensen’s to see they were still large but not as glassy as they had been. He wasn’t liking how rapid the man’s pulse was when he let him hold onto his hands after realizing Jensen was reaching for him and not pushing him away like he feared he might. “You’re…you’re banged up and I know you need the sleep but…before you go back to sleep…down there, you kept saying you didn’t know and I know that or I do know…I didn’t then when I confronted you or I might’ve waited or done it a little better or…”

Jensen ignored the other voices in the room to keep his eyes locked on Jared as he watched him talk quickly, somehow knowing the man was nervous, unsure, and probably as scared of making a mistake as he was. He felt his heart slowing as he turned his hands over in Jared’s so their palms touched, using the touch as well as the steady beat of the pulse he could feel in Jared’s wrist to try to settle and ground himself in the present and not the painful images that wanted to come back.

“I…I didn’t,” he began slowly, going on after a moment. “But I do now…I remember.”

“You…” Jared could swear his heart was probably beating through his shirt. “You remember what?” He asked cautiously, swearing to be calm, to not jump to conclusions or allow him to have false hope.

“Us. I…I remember us.”

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Six**

“I remember us,” Jensen said slowly, softly. “Or…I think I remember some of us, not all but some,” he frowned a bit. “My head’s all screwed up. I have…memories that I’ve lived six years with thinking they were real but now I think…No, I know they’re not. But in the back of my head, in my dreams when I was allowed to dream, I have other memories and those are the ones I think are of us. Does that make sense?”

It did but it also made Jared both angry and sad. It made him angry that those closest to Jensen, his so-called family, thought it necessary to remove so much of his life, of what made Jensen who he’d once been all because they didn’t approve of his life choices. It made him sad to think of Jensen not having those memories that had been special to them.

It also made him sad to see such confusion and worry on Jensen’s face as they looked at one another as if he was afraid Jared might still be angry with him for not being sure of his memories.

“I think it does,” he nodded, holding one of Jensen’s hands when the man let go of the other one to reach up to rub over his head as if pain. “What…No, I won’t start asking you questions right now. You should try to sleep some more and I should go kick these two out of the bedroom and downstairs so you can sleep or…”

“November…17th,” Jensen murmured, squeezing his eyes shut against the pounding behind his eyes and hoped the building pain didn’t make him lose what might still be in his nearly empty stomach. He wasn’t sure about the date until he heard a sharp inhale of breath and felt a burst of almost giddy relief that it might actually be something. “He was born on November 17th, wasn’t he?” He asked, opening his eyes to see the answer just by the tears he could see in Jared’s eyes. “He…”

Jensen stopped and bit his lip; the pain searing severely through his head like it always did when he fought the memories to get past what he knew now were fake ones to see beyond. “Nicky…his name…We fought over it because I wanted him to have your middle name but…God, this hurts…” He tried to push up so he was sitting but ended up falling over against a solid chest as his ribs seared along with his head. “19 hours…I…” Tired green eyes that were shadowed with uncertainty flashed as Jensen’s fingers moved down to touch the scar on his stomach and suddenly the rush of painful memories and the shame of what it meant hit him and he felt the bile start to churn. “Oh God,” he groaned and tried to push away from Jared to try to get to the bathroom a few feet away before he threw up.

“Jensen!” Jared had almost mistook the reactions as something else until he caught the sickly tinge to his ex-lover’s face and snapped at Chad to toss him the waste basket that was across the room; knowing Jensen was too unsteady to make it any farther than the other side of the bed before he began to throw up violently while his body started shaking again.

“Jared, he might need…” Sam began only to sigh at the hand motioning her and the Sheriff out of the room. “I’ll bring some bottled water up while Chad makes sure his deputies know what to expect.” She laid a hand on a tense arm and hoped what she thought was happening was true. “Be careful with him and don’t push for too much too soon. He’ll need to come to terms with all of this on his own and he might not get all of the memories back. I might know a specialist you both can talk to when he’s ready and if he wants to.”

Jared knew all of that but right at that moment he just wanted to get some privacy as he moved to support Jensen as he threw up. Finally all that was left were dry heaves and he slowly collapsed back on the bed with a sob, tears marring his pale cheeks as Jensen forced his eyes to open to stare up at Jared as he wiped the wet cloth over his face again.

“I…I gave birth to a little boy after 19 hours of agony and cussing you out. I gave you a son and said I’d give you more but…I don’t think I can now,” Jensen’s voice sounded as broken as he looked when his hand moved once again to the scar on his stomach. “I…I think he…they…did something in that…oh God, what the hell did I let happen? What have I done?”

“No, no, stop!” Jared shook his head while wanting to reach out, to take Jensen into his arms. But he still wasn’t sure if that would be welcomed or allowed right then as the man was adjusting, was trying to figure out what thoughts were lies as well as maybe how he even still would feel. “You didn’t do anything. Nothing that happened after they took you from us was your fault, Jen. I…I should’ve ignored the threats. I should’ve done more to find you or get you back because I…I knew in my heart that you wouldn’t have left us but…”

Jensen’s body and mind were suddenly so tired. He felt like he was still fighting an internal battle but he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep for a little while so that maybe his world would make more sense when he woke up.

He heard the guilt in Jared’s soft voice as he also felt his hand start to move away and reached out to grab it, not sure what he wanted or needed from the other man but knowing he had to keep his hand on him in some way right then or it would be too easy to lose himself in too many confusing thoughts.

“You had our baby to protect, Jared,” he said as sleep seemed to make his words softer, slurred. He struggled to keep his eyes open to see Jared sitting beside him and Jensen tensed briefly as fingers carded back through his hair, seeing that Jared had felt it but was trying to not let on as neither man really understood things completely right then.

Jensen wanted to explain, to tell him that it wasn’t for the reasons he was probably thinking that he might and undoubtedly would tense for a long time at touch, but suddenly was too tired to do anything but try to tug the hand he was holding until Jared hesitantly moved until he was sitting with his back to the headboard. “I know you have questions. I know we need to talk about things but…I’m just…”

“Shhh, we can talk when you’re ready but you’re hurt and I know you’re tired.” Jared did have questions; a few of which he figured probably needed answered so he’d know what to expect soon but he could see how tired Jensen was looking and just wanted to let him sleep then. “Just sleep now. I promise no one will bother you or hurt you here in my house…though the seven year old tornado and his too big puppy might make a lot of noise when they wake up… but I’ll try to head them off. Ummm, do you know if you’re afraid of dogs?” He suddenly wasn’t sure and felt nervous since so much of Jensen might still be different, even with some of his memories floating to the surface.

“I…I don’t think I am but hell, right now I don’t know what I am or anything, so we’ll find out,” Jensen yawned while forcing his eyes open again to eye Jared with something that almost looked like a wary hope. “Will…will you let me meet him?” He asked, understanding that Jared might not be that willing to open his life up this much so soon or let what was still a virtual stranger near his son.

“The dog? Oh, you’ll meet Nemo as soon as he’s awake and sniffs out a new person in the house,” Jared replied with a chuckle only to blink at the too familiar narrowed eyes that looked at him and it clicked that Jensen was asking about Nicky; shocked that he thought he might not be allowed to see their son. “Jen, of course I’ll let you meet Nicky,” he glanced down to see a flash of relief before Jensen’s heavy lids fell closed again only to try to open, as if afraid to sleep. “He might not understand too much and…I’m not sure how I’ll explain this to him yet since even though he knows some stuff, I didn’t tell him everything but I never lied to him about you. He knows his father loved him and…God, he’s so much like you, Jensen.”

Jensen’s lips curved slightly but as he lost the battle to sleep as he let his eyes close and hoped when he woke up this would still be real and not a dream.

Jared sat still to watch as Jensen’s body slowly relaxed as he fell back to sleep; only when he thought he was sleeping fully did he let his own emotions start to rise to the surface.

Jared watched Jensen sleep beside him, still sitting there since the man had made no move to let go of his hand and didn’t seem to mind sleeping with him there. In fact whenever he went to move, as if to give Jensen a little space he noticed Jensen tensed until he slowly shifted to his side, pressed against Jared as if needing the contact.

He tried to tell himself to not let his hopes get too high. Jared understood the odds of Jensen remembering too much were slim. Just like the odds of there still being anything between them other than a scattered past and a seven year old son were also slim. Jared hadn’t missed the way Jensen tensed sometimes at his touch and needed to also remind himself to not push and to try not be hurt because none of this was Jensen’s fault.

“I’ll protect you no matter what happens, Jensen,” he whispered, letting his fingertips just barely touch a pale bruised cheek and had to push down his anger at everyone who’d caused this to happen to him and their family. Now Jared just had to hope that maybe he could find a way to help Jensen as well as salvage at least a friendship, if nothing else.

_“‘Go…go fuck yourself…ugh!’”_

_“‘This will go much better for you as well as faster if you’d just accept the procedures and lessons, Mr. Ackles. My staff and I are very concerned about your well-being and just want to help you recover.’”_

_“‘Well-being? Recovery? Bullshit! You’re a bunch of mad scientists under my father’s checkbook looking to make a buck from him by ‘fixing’ his gay son. There ain’t nothing wrong with me! Argh!’”_

_“‘You have these delusions that being gay or a carrier of this horrid gene makes you normal. These are beliefs we will cure you of as well as fixing the abnormalities that allowed you to give birth to that…’”_

_“‘I gave birth to a baby, my son, and that is something neither you nor my old man can take away from me, asshole.’”_

_“‘That’s where you’re wrong, boy! My money, these doctors, they’ll take that away. You won’t recall your life with that heathen faggot or that thing he put inside you and this place will also make damn sure that never happens again. By the time you walk or crawl or get wheeled out of this place you’ll be someone totally new and no one will ever know you weren’t normal!’”_

Jensen wasn’t certain how long he’d slept but he thought it had been a while given how sluggish both his brain and body felt as he slowly began to wake up, rubbing his eyes to clear them before trying to open them with silent prayers that when he did he wouldn’t be back in Texas and that what he thought happened when he’d gone to sleep to would be real.

He lay still to give his body a chance to wake up and could still feel the pain from the beating he’d suffered in Texas. His head felt sore, as well as a little spacey, but suspected it would until he got past all the blocks of fake implanted memories; hoping he could or at least that he could capture a bit more of his memories and not those his family had given him.

Pushing aside the cruel voices he’d woken to, he was about to open his eyes when he began to realize he wasn’t alone but it didn’t feel like the same hard body that he’d fallen to sleep with. Jensen began to tense, nerves and fears ratcheting up until he felt a tiny finger on his cheek as well as a whisper soft voice as the child corrected his pet.

“Nemo, don’t do that! You know Daddy’s rules: No licking new people until they say you can. Cool. He’s got freckles like I do.”

Jensen inwardly cringed and wondered if there was anything his family had to change about him, why the hell couldn’t they have gotten rid of those damn stupid freckles. He could almost feel the child’s intense eyes, which would be his shade of green if they hadn’t changed too much from the photo, looking at him and had to wonder a little shockingly how many times, if ever, the child had found a man in his father’s bed.

“Nicky,” Jared’s voice was hushed as if not wanting to wake him.

“Daddy, there’s a man in your bed,” Nicky glanced to where his father was standing in the bathroom door in only his jeans. “Where’d he come from? Who is he? Can we keep him? He can help you not be lonely and we can take turns playing with Nemo and…he’s got freckles like I do too so that means he’s cool cause you told me my freckles made me cool and…”

Jared groaned at the rush of excited questions from his wide awake and ever curious son. He could be seen getting ready to bounce on his knees on the bed like he did when excited, which would cause the practically vibrating puppy to join into the act and he really did not want Jensen woken up like this.

He’d fallen to sleep a few times sitting up and when he’d woken up with a stiff back and neck Jared had decided to grab a fast shower before he figured Nicky would be awake. He’d planned to head his son off so he could try to explain about Jensen; why he was there and maybe a little of who he was but saw that this had been one of those mornings when both child and pet were early risers.

Stepping out to see Nicky on the bed watching Jensen sleep, with his head cocked to one side like Jensen used to do when staring at something that both perplexed and amused him, had a knot forming in his throat but when the child commented about the freckles he was hard pressed to keep his face neutral.

He’d told Nicky about his freckles after someone in his Kindergarten class had made fun of them, told them they made him cool because he got them from his father and his father was cool. To hear him recite that proudly made him proud but it also made him wonder if he might be quick enough to put the pieces of this new puzzle together himself.

Jared’s hand shot out to point to the floor when the puppy went to jump on the bed and he took a step closer with the intent to scoop his curious child up, only to stop in mid-step when he caught the movement of the single finger as it lifted from the bed as if to stop him and he knew Jensen was awake through Nicky’s exam.

“He’s not a puppy like Nemo is so it’s a little more complicated to keep a person and he’s in my bed because he’s hurt and needed to sleep,” he replied while avoiding the other questions for the moment, stepping up to the bed but not sitting down yet.

“You don’t let anyone in your bed except me and sometimes Nemo,” Nicky remarked as he moved his eyes between the new man and his father, seeing the black and blue marks littering the bare chest and arms as well as the still slightly swelled face. “Did bullies hurt him?” He asked, little fingers gentling as they ran over Jensen’s jaw and then a scar on his upper shoulder. “Bullies are bad, aren’t they, Daddy?”

“Yeah, bullies are bad and…yeah, that’s who hurt him,” Jared knew it was more complicated than that but he wasn’t ready to try to explain that yet. He could see Jensen tensing every now and then and was just holding his breath that he hadn’t lost any of those slim memories he’d had before he fell to sleep. “Nicky, Sam and Chad are both downstairs. How about you go find them and see if Sam will make you waffles with blueberries and chocolate chips?” He asked as a way to distract his son.

“Who is he?” Nicky asked again and then his dimples were popping out as he shot a bright smile when bright green eyes suddenly opened to look right at him. “Hi! I’m Nicky!” He said with his usual enthusiasm when he met anyone new but especially since he didn’t feel any reason to be shy around the strange green eyed man in his Daddy’s bed that had freckles on his face like he did. “My Daddy said you’re not like my puppy Nemo so I can’t expect to keep you like we did him but if you stay you can help me walk him and play with him and…”

“Nicky,” Jared was hard pressed not to groan or laugh as he tried to cut in so Jensen could wake up fully as he watched the man blink his eyes a few times while not moving them off of the chattering boy. He was also praying the man hadn’t become afraid of animals given he knew Nemo was just dying to leap on the bed and lick his face.

Jensen had figured he’d better open his eyes before Jared had a stroke since he could tell by his voice that he was worried. He’d suspected what he’d see when he did, but it was still a little shocking to actually see his eyes as well as the set of his jaw and light blond hair with Jared’s dimpled smile looking back at him. “Hi,” he finally murmured, voice still a little raw and shaky as well as his throat which felt like a desert but he couldn’t look away from the little boy’s bright inquisitive eyes. Slowly, he lifted a hand to extend it. “I’m…I’m Jensen,” he said as a way to introduce himself until he could get a better feel for how Jared wanted to handle this.

“Hi! Are you a friend of Daddy’s?” Nicky took the hand to smile as it was shaken like he saw his Daddy shake hands with people. “Daddy doesn’t let people in his bed so you must be.”

Jared groaned and wondered if he could sink into the floor. He was about to once again try to coax his son out of the room when he heard a sound that nearly had him going to his knees.

Jensen’s laugh was low, shaky as if he’d forgotten how to laugh as well as smile fully as he slowly slid his eyes from Nicky to Jared, lips curving just enough to show Jared he was amused, not upset by the wake up or the questions. “You were wrong about what you said last night or whenever I fell to sleep,” he met confused eyes to see when Jared must have recalled what he’d said about Nicky being like him; he also saw a flash of fear that he wished he didn’t and sought to correct and reassure. “He gets his curious side from you.”

Jared’s legs had locked in an attempt to keep him from dropping to the bed but at this he gave in and sat on the side, unable to say anything right then. So he nodded instead and then the bed was rocked when a huge oversized puppy had finally had enough and decided to join the party.

“Nemo, no!” Both Jared and Nicky shouted, but it was too late because the large furry dog was on the bed and licking Jensen’s face and any other part of him that he could reach until finally Jared managed to get a hold of his collar to tug him back.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry,” he started quickly, trying not to scold the dog too loudly because the moment he did then he saw his son’s eyes start to water and little arms wrapped around Nemo’s huge neck to hug him. “He’s still a puppy and he likes people so he’s greeting you but…I’m sorry. I’ll put him outside until…”

“No, Daddy!” Nicky shouted, hating it when his friend had to go outside in the yard. “He doesn’t like it out there. There’s a squirrel in the tree that throws nuts at him. Please don’t make him! He’ll be good. I promise. He doesn’t bite and…”

Jensen had sat up slowly to ease against the headboard, wiping his face free of doggy drool. He couldn’t remember if he’d been scared of animals before. He didn’t think he had because he didn’t feel fear from the dog even when it had jumped on the bed looking like a huge, hairy beast that proceeded to lick him.

He looked at the dog’s sad eyes as if it understood Jared was upset then he looked to where Nicky’s bottom lip was trembling as fat tears began to roll down his cheeks at the thought of his puppy being punished and then he saw the struggle on Jared’s face to be an adult when it was obvious he was a step away from crying himself at their son’s tears.

“I’m okay with him here, Jared,” he said and felt something punch him in the gut as three sets of eyes all pinned him and then he gasped, going still when he had his arms filled with little boy as Nicky launched himself at him to wrap his long arms around Jensen’s neck.

“Thank you!” He shouted, hearing his Dad caution him to be careful even as he felt the man tense before he remembered his bruises. “Oh! I’m sorry, Jensen,” he eased back without even realizing he’d used the man’s name, a name that felt a little weird to him for some reason to say. “Daddy can kiss your boo-boos like he did mine before I got too big.”

Jared swore under his breath and figured after this Jensen might be glad if he faked not remembering, but once again saw his lips curve as he ran his hand over soft blond hair and he saw the raw look of emotion there that Nicky missed as he returned his attention to the dog as Sam’s voice was heard calling them both for breakfast as if the woman had known he was awake.

“Breakfast is ready!” Nicky loved breakfast best of all so while he was still curious about the newcomer, he was also hungry. “Daddy? Are you and Jensen coming for breakfast?” He asked, dimples shining. “If Chad’s here then there might not be a lot left for you.”

“Yeah, I’ll be down but Jensen might not feel like it so soon,” Jared scooped the boy up to set him on the floor. “You take Nemo and go tell the Sheriff that I said not to eat me out of house and home.”

Nicky laughed but grabbed his dog and took off while shouting for Chad not to eat everything or else his Daddy would yell at him.

“I’m…sorry for the rude wakeup,” he began with a cough, turning to look at Jensen only to blink at the raw emotional look that pinned him as he reached up carefully to brush the sudden tears off a pale cheek with his thumb. “Did that monster puppy or Nicky’s hug hurt you?” He asked, worried. “Jensen?”

“I…I knew from what you said that he was seven but…” Jensen moved slowly to sit up more, carefully letting his feet touch the soft carpeted floor. “I missed everything, Jay,” he whispered as it began to settle fully what had happened, even if he didn’t recall everything clearly and was still confused. “He was…how old when I opened a door to…son of a bitch. Kane.”

Jared had hoped Jensen might not recall who sold him out to his family because he knew Jensen and Chris had been friends and had somehow gotten a hunch that despite everything he’d done that the man might have still been trying to protect Jensen when he’d seen him in Texas.

“He told me your Dad threatened to buy his Mom’s house from the bank and evict her and his grandfather,” he replied, seeing the muscle in Jensen’s jaw twitch while his hands clenched. “I want to hate him for telling them where to find us but then, is what I did by not fighting to find you when I wanted to, to letting them threaten me any better? I mean, they just broke my arm and a few ribs that time but it was what he threatened to do to Nicky and the text I thought was from you that…”

Jensen glanced beside him to see the marks still on Jared’s face and thought he’d heard Chris Kane say something about his Dad sending his thugs after Jared again and then replayed what he’d just said. “I don’t blame you for giving up looking for me or trying to find me, Jared. I told you last night, you had our baby to protect and…if they were willing to do what…what I think they did to me then he would’ve had him hurt or worse so…” He paused to try to settle his nerves as he once again had flashes of voices and memories but made his thoughts stay on his original topic. “I missed his life. I missed seeing our baby take his first steps, say his first word…I missed all of that and for what? Just because my damn family, they couldn’t just leave us alone? Just so my Dad and his pals could try to make me into a mindless puppet to pull my strings? I lost seven years that I can never get back with a little boy that will never know I’m his father!”

“Yes, he will,” Jared hadn’t been sure Jensen had enough memories or feelings or was sure of himself yet to know if he wanted to take that risky step to explaining to their son who and what he was. “I won’t even say that he’s not thinking you’re more than what I’m saying since he’s noticed the freckles and he was tracing your jaw while also touching his. He is amazingly smart for seven which is why I said he was like you because he thankfully got your brains,” he slowly moved his hand to just touch Jensen’s fingers but started to move them when he felt the man jerk only to have them grabbed.

“Don’t let go, Jay,” Jensen told him tightly, working past an array of emotions that had him struggling with a great deal of things that he wish he didn’t have to. “It’s not you,” he looked up into hazel eyes and saw the flecks of golds and blue he’d known would be there as well as worry and hesitance. “You think when I flinch or tense when you touch me that…it’s because of their lessons or what was done to me, right?” He thought he saw a slight nod from Jared and wished he could explain it all right then but still felt too raw. “I…I can’t tell you everything I remember or why I do it yet but…” he reached up to touch Jared’s face and saw the surprise as well as relief. “But it’s not you. It’s not all about a year of hell that I’m only now starting to recall but things I need to work through before I try to share them with you, okay?”

Jared felt bad for making it look like he wanted to know everything at once when he understood that Jensen might not even know too much. He also feared what the man did recall that made him cringe from touch but then after seeing the bruises and scars on his body he suspected that even after his release from the hospital his life hadn’t been good or safe.

“I don’t want to push and I’m sorry if it feels like I am. I promise I’ll try to go slower, to give you as much space and time as you might want or need,” he said as he covered the hand on his face with his own for a long moment and then made himself stand to go make Jensen a tray for breakfast. “Chad found some luggage inside that car you must have driven here. He brought it up last night so…if you want to try to take a shower or take a bath while I go grab some breakfast for you, you can. I guess you’re not ready to go downstairs yet.”

“Not…yet,” Jensen admitted and hated that. He felt a little wobbly but did want to try to shower so as Jared moved to the door after placing the two pieces of expensive luggage on the bed. “Jared?” He glanced over his shoulder to see that Jared had paused to look at him. “I wish I could say my father or those back there will let my sudden escape go but…I didn’t mean to put you or Nicky or your friends here in any danger. If…I should probably leave, keep running until they find me again, but…”

Jared had just opened the door. Now he closed it to go back to the bed to sit down and take Jensen’s hands in his, to just hold them while also holding his eyes. “If that old man and his goons get to you again, once he learns you have some of those memories and what it could mean to his precious campaign, they’d lock you away for good or…”

“Or kill me,” Jensen finished. He knew the odds were high for that one given that he actually knew a great deal more about his father and campaign manager’s dealings than anyone within the camp thought he did. “I know that but I’d rather be the one hurt or killed than ever place you or Nicky or any innocent person at risk because of my…”

“I am not losing you to those bastards again, Jensen,” Jared knew he still had the card he’d been given back in Texas and would use it if he had to in order to keep his family safe. “I’ve got a press badge and a pissed off editor I can use to my full advantage if your Dad tries to make a scene. But…I know you probably want to let all of that go and try to forget…Well, forget what you… I’m sorry, I’m rambling. I’m scared of losing you again and… Damn it, Jen… I…” he stopped before he said too much too soon and risked scaring Jensen. “I will fight for you and for our son. I will fight the whole State of Texas if I have to, but unless you choose to leave me and can tell me that yourself? Then I’m not letting go.”

Jensen swallowed the lump in his throat. He’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone, anyone, look at him like Jared was right then or to know that someone wanted to stand up for him; to protect him and actually gave a damn about him without having an ulterior motive to end up hurting him. “Thank you,” he murmured, fighting back a sudden need to go into Jared’s arms and just stay there. “Jay? Can…can we tell Nicky together?”

“I planned on it, sugar,” Jared’s dimples came out fully as he offered a smile. “Take your time. I’ll bring a tray of food up and then tonight if you feel like coming down for dinner, I’ll kick Chad out so he doesn’t start grilling you and we can sit Nicky down and talk to him. I…I also think I have something you’ll want to see but I’ll let you decide that.”

Jensen nodded. Once the door shut and he was alone, he sat on the bed for a long moment to let his rapid thoughts and too many memories, mostly fake, settle. He stood up slowly, testing his legs which still felt unsteady but guessed they would given that he also needed to tell Jared there might be other issues to deal with if his body began to react to not having the shots or the pills… Though he’d been slowly trying to wean himself off of those, he had a hunch on the shots since he’d begun to notice a difference in them depending on who gave it to him.

Right then he merely wanted to shower and try to get the feelings of guilt, shame, and betrayal off his skin that he felt as his memories began to return more and more. Jensen wasn’t sure to be grateful for that or scared of just what else he might remember that had been done to him on his families orders.

He stripped out of his slacks and briefs to bite his lip as he caught of glimpse of the other scars and damages inflicted that he didn’t think Jared had seen yet. He had a brief moment to wonder if his ex-boyfriend would care once he saw these as well as when it was finally proven what Jensen now feared: that his father’s doctors had made it impossible for him to ever conceive or carry a child again.

Jensen wasn’t even sure if he could have sex with a man, given some of the memories he had. Memories that weren’t fake because he’d been awake every time the unwanted assaults had taken place and it was these memories that made him cringe or flinch or tense now when a man who he knew he’d once loved with all his heart went to touch him.

As the hot water flowed over his body, Jensen stuck his head under it to let it flow down his back that was littered with scars. He closed his eyes and stopped fighting the pain the blocks on his memories caused. He let the pain come along with the scattered array of memories and then let his shaking legs fold as he went to his knees in the shower; hot water mixing with his tears as he let it all pour out with brutal sobs and broken curses at everyone he knew that had hurt him or allowed the last seven years to take place.

“Daddy has a guy in his bed, Chad!”

Those were Nicky’s first words of the morning as he dashed into the kitchen to sit at the table where his waffles and eggs were already waiting.

“Geez, kid! Not while I’m eating,” Sheriff Chad Michael Murray muttered after he’d nearly choked on a mouthful of eggs.

As Sam Ferris chuckled while Nicky continued to talk excitedly, the 6’, blond haired Sheriff finished his breakfast by the time Jared stepped into the room to eye his friend and motioned to the back door.

Jared grabbed a cup of black coffee and a muffin while asking Sam to fix a plate for him to take up to Jensen and then followed Chad outside where he guessed he was about to be grilled with questions from the always hyper law enforcement officer.

“Has he said anything?” Chad asked after pulling the door shut so Nicky was kept out of the conversation. He knew the kid might look like he was ignoring the world but he’d seen Nicky recall whole conversations when he’d thought he was distracted with a video game. “Like how they let him go or how he got this car or knew how to find you?” He went on, frowning while motioning to the garage. “Dude, this is all a little too weird for me. I mean, I get that we’re a small town and I’m just a little Sheriff, but if trouble’s coming then we need to know from who or why ‘cause I ran the plates on this car and hit a big, giant, blazing, red flag of Federal red tape.”

Jared started to say that he wanted to give Jensen time to settle, to see what other memories he might have and he didn’t want Chad grilling him because he sensed the strong willed, stubborn man he’d grown up with might still be in there but was buried under seven years of pain and God knew what other kinds of abuse to keep him docile and obedient.

“Federal?” He blinked at that with a confused frown. “Maybe because he’s running for Senate?”

“The car is somehow registered federally but I can’t find out to who or how because I was told to stop looking into it, to back off and I’d be contacted soon,” Chad replied and then looked at Jared seriously, more seriously than he was usually. “Jared, you told me about the guys who bailed you out in Texas; about how they wouldn’t give you a name or say anything except if you had trouble to contact them… Dude, maybe I’ve seen one too many spy movies but this whole mess is starting to scream black op or something. You need to see what he can tell you so I’ll know what to expect.”

Jared might have laughed at that if he hadn’t picked up some odd vibes from those guys in Texas. He didn’t want to press Jensen but guessed he did need to know how he managed to get out from under his father’s thumb, to escape Texas and drive all the way to North Carolina, without being stopped.

“I will. I’ll talk to him more about how he got out of Texas,” Jared promised, seeing the Sheriff’s car driving by. “Can you keep a car close until we see if anyone’s coming after him?”

“Dude, if his folks are obsessed with him and this campaign like you say and like Jeff thinks? Then we both know someone, and someone big, ugly and probably with a gun, will be coming for him,” Chad scoffed while lifting a hand to wave to the petite brunette at the wheel of the car. “Gen, that’s the new deputy that I’ll introduce you to, will be driving by and I am hanging around while Sam runs to the store. But don’t worry, I’ll hang out in my car so you and he can have some time. What’re you planning to tell Nicky?”

“I told Jensen we’d tell him together,” Jared wasn’t shocked that Chad had figured it out since now that he’d seen Jensen and their son together, he guessed it was hard not to see the resemblance. “Tonight, after dinner and while normally I’d invite you…”

Chad laughed and slapped his friend on the arm while hearing the backdoor open and knew it must be puppy walking time. “Dude, I get it. Just ship me a plate out to the car and keep your phone on you in case you need me.”

“Thanks, Chad,” Jared was glad to have a friend like this, especially now that he didn’t know what would be coming over the weekend. “Hey, can you…”

“Yeah, I’ll keep an eye on him and the monster puppy that I still say is part horse despite what that vet said,” Chad replied while reaching down for the leash that had slipped out of Nicky’s hand.

“Daddy? Sam said you’d better eat before it gets cold and I took up Jensen’s plate and juice but he’s in the shower so I put it on the dresser,” Nicky said, proud that he’d done something so important on his own and without being told. “Is he just visiting you or…”

Jared could tell his little boy had more questions, suspecting what a few of them might be as well as why he wasn’t asking yet. “He came because he and I have some things to talk about and because he’s hurt, Nicky,” he admitted, kneeling down to look into deep green eyes and smiled. “I can’t promise you he’ll stay but…we’ll talk tonight, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks Daddy!” Nicky hugged his father and then bolted after Chad as he was being pulled across the yard by Nemo.

Worry filled Jared because he didn’t like that Chad’s search for the car tags had been red flagged but as he stepped back into the kitchen to grab his own fast breakfast, he pushed those worries off to thank Sam for staying and helping him.

“I’m going to the store while Chad’s got Nicky,” the woman said but waved away his attempt to give her money. “I’ve got this. You just go check on him. If you see you need anything else, call me and I’ll get it while I’m out. Just remember what I said though. Be careful?”

“I will and thanks, Sam,” Jared kissed her cheek, poured another cup of coffee and then headed back upstairs.

He knocked on the bedroom door which felt weird to him since it was his room but he didn’t want to intrude; he really did want to give Jensen time to adjust or make his own decisions, something he was certain the man hadn’t done in seven years.

After a couple minutes went by, Jared began to worry but then he thought if Jensen was in the shower still, with the door closed he might not hear him knocking so he opened the bedroom door. “Jensen?” He called, seeing the tray of food that had mostly made it upstairs in one piece was still untouched. The bathroom door was closed but the sounds he heard made him move toward it. “Jensen? Hey, it’s Jared. Can I…can I open the door?”

There was still water running but it was the ragged sobs mixed with sounds of dry retching that had Jared’s worry increasing. He’d never liked to see Jensen hurt or upset enough that his emotional shields, which had always been high, dropped and he actually cried, but these sounds were brutal and heart breaking. They left Jared unsure of what to do or say since he didn’t want to push but he also wanted to let the man know he wasn’t alone.

“Jen? Can I come in?” He asked after knocking again on the bathroom door and after several long moments he heard the sounds of retching ease off and heard a broken voice say his name. He took that as an acknowledgement and opened the door.

The heat of the bathroom nearly staggered him but the steam poured out to allow the room to clear and cool and when Jared’s eyes spotted Jensen, he quickly crossed to shut the shower off and grabbed a towel before kneeling down beside the tub where his ex-lover was sitting with his knees up, his head down, and was rocking back and forth.

Jared had seen Jensen’s back earlier but not long enough to really be able to tell the amount of scars and damage done. Now as Jensen leaned forward a bit more he saw his entire back and felt his stomach clench as he imagined the agony Jensen must have endured as he traced the long scars of welts that looked to have come from a whip or a belt. He saw burns in the shape of something he couldn’t place but it was what he saw on the small of his back, a little below where the waistband of his pants would ride, that truly infuriated and sickened him.

“Jen,” he whispered, wanting to reach out and touch the shoulder closest to him but didn’t want to risk startling Jensen. He seemed to be so deep into his own head right then, fighting his own internal demons. “Can I help?” He asked and felt so damn helpless as he could only kneel beside his tub and watch as his once best friend, the man he’d loved nearly all his life and who’d given him a beautiful son, seemed to be breaking in front of his eyes. “Please? Tell me what I can do to help or… I didn’t mean to make you hurt more by remembering us. I’m…”

“Don’t… don’t you dare apologize,” Jensen’s voice sounded deeper but also raw when he slowly lifted his head to look over at Jared. His eyes were red and his features pale and drawn from nearly an hour of emotional purging. He lifted a shaking hand and immediately it was caught and held. “I remembered, Jay,” he said, eyes haunted and hurt. “I remembered every goddamn thing from the minute I opened our front door, I remembered the year in that goddamn place. I remembered the first time, six days after I was first locked down that my father helped hold me down while they stuck a rubber bit in my mouth before starting to shock me. I remember everything he did, they did. I…I remember it all.”

Jared’s heart was in his throat. He hadn’t been expecting, and he didn’t think Jensen had expected, his memories to return this rapidly and not so many, especially the violent ones that the young journalist wished to God he hadn’t recalled so soon.

Scared of opening his mouth and possibly saying the wrong thing too soon, all Jared could do right then was carefully drape the towel around Jensen before holding out his other hand. “C’mere, Jen,” he invited and then could only hold his breath and wait. He knew something had happened to Jensen to make him wary of touch so he wasn’t sure if he’d take his other hand. He was shocked by what happened next.

Jensen stared at the extended hand while he gripped the other one tighter. It wasn’t just his memories of a year locked in basically a prison hospital that he remembered, he also remembered his life with Jared. He recalled growing up in Texas; he recalled befriending the boy from the wrong side of the tracks as his parents often referred to him. He also could recall how he’d been before it all changed and knew he had never once refused Jared’s touch, even if he hadn’t been a real open or emotional person and mainly preferred to keep to himself or with his very few close friends.

Lifting his eyes to look at Jared, Jensen could see so much on Jared’s face and despite the feelings and memories still going through him, making him wish he could curl into a ball and die rather than remember things, he knew he had to share with the man willing to once again change his life for him. He reacted before he could even think and took the other hand.

He went with the gentle pull and let Jared tug him up first to his feet and then into his arms. Jensen ignored how he instinctively wanted to pull back, to avoid being touched or held as strong arms wrapped around him and helped him out of the tub. He ignored flashes of memories of being drugged, held down or tied while his body was used both in the hospital and since he’d been out by someone he thought he could ‘trust’ and let his own arms wrap around Jared’s neck with a sudden sob that he muffled by burying his face under Jared’s chin, against his throat and let himself be held and soothed by the soft drawl he could hear whispering against his ear.

“Shhh, I’ve got you, sugar. I’ve got you,” Jared murmured, tightening his arms only when he felt Jensen relax a little. “You’re home.”

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Seven**

“You’re home.”

Words that might seem simple to anyone else but when Jared Padalecki said them to Jensen Ackles right then, they meant more to him than nearly any other words he’d heard in seven years.

Home to Jensen had never been Texas. It hadn’t felt right and now he understood why; it was because his home was with Jared and their son. His home was in the arms that were now holding him tight and with that sudden realization, he fully let down the emotional walls and let the pain come out.

The moment Jared felt Jensen’s body shudder and heard his voice break again when he tried to speak, he was quick to tuck the towel around him better, ignoring that the other man was basically wet and naked as he did so because to Jared, right then all he cared about was getting Jensen calm again.

He heard the broken words being said as Jensen spoke in between ragged breaths and while the story wasn’t easy to hear, Jared understood that as painful as it was for him to listen to, it was so much worse for Jensen because as he was speaking, needing to expel the memories by sharing them, he was also reliving them. Jared kept quiet for the most part while helping Jensen back into the bedroom where he let him sit on the bed as he dug through the luggage in search of clothes.

Jared was too busy being worried and listening to Jensen’s halting tale to pay attention right then to what else was in the luggage besides clothes; he’d look later as he coaxed Jensen into underwear and slacks while making a mental note to go shopping because the slacks went flying across the room and Jensen dug into the clothes himself as if looking for anything not formal or fitted but could be seen getting more aggravated at finding nothing.

“I don’t want these!” He threw a collared polo shirt while scowling at a pair of black socks before they bounced off of Jared’s chest. “They bought all of this crap or had it tailored so it would ‘fit me just right’,” he made a mocking quoting motion with his fingers before slightly too wide eyes landed on Jared and then moved to his dresser. “Can…can I wear something of yours for now?”

“Yeah, of course you can,” Jared didn’t hesitate as he grabbed an old T-shirt and a pair of sweat pants that he knew would be too big and too long, given Jensen had lost weight and there were three inches in height difference between them, but he noticed the way Jensen’s body relaxed more as soon as he pulled the clothes on and dropped back to the bed. “You don’t have to do this all at once,” he told him. “I mean, in less than 24 hours you’ve gone from not knowing me to…”

“I kissed you for the first time under an apple tree in old man Mueller’s orchard the summer you hit 17,” Jensen switched gears, realizing that he needed to broach the darker ones slowly or else he feared those memories and the pain it still gave him would drive him over an edge he wasn’t ready to face. He also wanted to see Jared’s face when he realized he might have all his memories back and wasn’t disappointed as the shock came and then Jared dropped to the bed beside him. “I wanted to when you were 16 but since I was a year younger and you were usually trying to be the more ‘responsible’ one I knew it’d freak you out. Do you remember that evening, Jared?”

“Yeah,” Jared did but it had still shocked him that Jensen had. “When you said you remembered it all…you meant that you…”

Jensen reached a shaking hand up to run his fingers over Jared’s face, feeling him turn into the touch like he used to and realizing he’d felt that in his dreams so often when he’d been trying to escape the pain and abuse. “I remember us, Jay,” he murmured and then felt himself smile as he watched those dimples come out a second before Jared’s smile dimmed a little. Jensen only nodded, understanding the reason. “I…I want to kiss you and to have you kiss me so damn much but…I need…I need a little more time, okay?”

“I’ll give you all the time you need, sugar,” Jared promised but brought one of Jensen’s hands up to press his lips to the center of his palm. “I’ll give you whatever you need but…the Sheriff, Chad…the hyper guy you probably heard last night… he wants me to ask if you remember how you got out of your father’s house to come here,” he shook his head as Jensen tensed slightly. “I don’t want to push. I said I wouldn’t but…he tried to run the tags to the car and he’s being red flagged by the Feds.”

“The Feds?” Jensen frowned. He’d rather not talk about the last night in his father’s house but he understood Jared’s concerns as well as the local Sheriff’s considering he knew eventually someone would come looking for him. But this confused him. “Why the hell would the Feds red flag a vehicle search? The car was waiting outside the back gate when…” He stopped to take a deep breath, wincing as he recalled the beating he’d taken.

“After that happened at the debate, after they dragged me out, we went back to the mansion,” he stared at his hands rather than Jared as he began this story, tone changing from Jensen’s usual to a softer one until a hand closed over his and he leaned into the shoulder that was there for him like he knew it would be. “Dad, Mom, M-Misha had all screamed at me on the way there. Then Mom started on Chris who yelled right back. If I didn’t hate him so much right now I’d almost say he was standing up to them for me because when he could, not just that night, he tried to deflect Dad or Misha or the other guards away from me.

“Sometimes it would be people Chris sent who did the drugs that they insisted I had to have. I hated those things but…it was different when they did it in comparison to that freak doctor. Jay?” Jensen looked over when Jared tensed, realizing he was angry at learning they kept him drugged. “Anyway, that night it all seemed to hit me what you’d said, things I heard before but didn’t pay attention to and then all the things people had said that day and it clicked. I was never attacked like they said; I was attacked by Dad’s people and I was locked away, tortured and drugged and basically brainwashed by them. And I lost it…and I took a beating because of it.”

Jensen looked at the bruises on his arms before trying to think back. “They’d locked me in the office to ‘think about my transgressions’ and that was when I looked at the photo. When I started to remember bits and pieces, I curled up on the floor and just cried. I cried for the pain, for all the damn crap they’d been making me say for six years and then when I realized that sweet little boy in the photo was now seven? It got worse and I knew I had to get out but I wasn’t sure how.

“I heard the lock on the door opening and at first I thought it was Misha coming back to…” he stopped and shook his head, not ready to go into those memories or to tell Jared that yet. “It was one of the guards. Not one that was more loyal to Dad but one I’d seen with Chris before. He… he also tried to be nice to me when he could be. That night he got me up and told me I had to go, that if I didn’t leave that night, I’d never have another chance because Mom and Dad would either lock me up or kill me.” Jensen didn’t look shocked or sad when he repeated that his own parents might try to kill him, he looked resigned. “I was still numb. I knew I’d been hurt. I could barely think so I didn’t know how he thought I could get out of the house, much less the state or much less to you.

“He said that was all covered and he’d get me out of there, that all I had to do was drive. He said the car was preset with where to go, when to stop for gas and where to stop and that I wasn’t to unlock the doors, or get out of the car until I got here… got to you. It was odd, now that I think about it. He… used your last name and actually pronounced it right but that’s what I did,” he was frowning more as he suddenly realized how weird all of that was now. “Why… why would one of Dad’s guards help me to escape? Why send me to you when all the guards thought I was anti-gay? What if… what if they’re using me to find you so they can hurt you or Nicky? What if…” Suddenly Jensen’s panic shot through the roof at the fear that he might be bringing more danger to his family when he stopped mid panic attack to replay what he’d just thought in his own head. “Family,” he whispered, hearing Jared trying to reassure him that it would all be okay and no matter what happened, or who came, that they’d handle it together but all he could hear was that word when he looked beside him. “Family,” he repeated and then had to laugh at Jared’s adorable look of frustrated confusion. “You and Nicky, you’re my family, Jay.”

Jared would’ve been worried that Jensen had a concussion, or really did have some damage after so long of being drugged and abused, if the green eyes looking back at him weren’t light, weren’t suddenly happy and if Jensen wasn’t suddenly laughing. “Yeah, we’re your family, Jen,” he agreed and wished he could take that next step and kiss the man he still loved but knew he needed to let Jensen make that move. “You, me, and Nicky…we’re a family and no one will take that away from us again. I promise you that.”

“Even…even if it does turn out that the hospital, what Dad had them do to me, means I… I can’t… I can’t give you any more kids?” Jensen knew there were tests but he was already certain of that answer and feared Jared’s response to it. “I mean, I know I promised to and I get that you love kids and should have a house full of them so I’ll understand if you…huh?”

“I’d kiss you to shut up but I promised to give you some time and space, so this has to work instead,” Jared explained why he’d placed two fingers against Jensen’s lips, halting his words before they could go any further. “Yeah, _we_ wanted more kids but given that when Nicky and I moved here to start over I’d already accepted that I wouldn’t have more kids because I didn’t have you…” he let his fingers touch a bruise on Jensen’s face carefully and hated that tension he felt there. “I’ve… seen the scar, Jen. I think I know what you’re afraid they did because I thought it too when I saw it and… I’m also pretty sure of what else he had them do to you but when you’re ready, if you make the choice, we can find a doctor to verify. Then if it turns out that you can’t then we can adopt another baby if you’d want or we could do what you said when we were kids and have a house full of animals.

“I love you, Jensen,” he heard the soft inhale of breath and could only pray he wasn’t messing up. “I’ve loved you since we were kids and I loved you when we were together. I’ve loved you for the last seven years even though I wasn’t really certain what happened and… I love you now, Jen.”

Jensen blinked and had to swallow the sudden lump in his throat at both the emotion he felt and saw on Jared’s face. “Jay,” he whispered while wondering if he could take that small step by leaning closer to touch Jared’s lips but feared it was too soon and he didn’t want to ruin that by moving too fast. “I… I love you too,” he did say and felt like so much weight lifted when he did, realizing that he meant it and was so silently glad that the last seven years of lies hadn’t changed him that much.

“You’re breakfast is now cold but I can heat it up or…” Jared was starting to say, feeling the need to get them back onto safe ground before he did something too fast when suddenly he heard a door slam, a loud shout, a bark and then what sounded like a herd of elephants running up the steps and blew out a breath while offering Jensen a smile. “They think they’re stealthy.”

“Jared, what is that dog and please tell me you didn’t have it when Nicky was a baby,” Jensen remarked, a little more at ease and finding it easier to relax like it had always been between them.

“Umm, no,” Jared coughed, standing to go toward the door to open it as he went on. “Nemo’s actually only a year old by the vet’s reckoning and… he’s still growing,” he glanced back to see green eyes narrowing as that sank in. “Okay?”

“That huge animal is still a puppy and it’s growing?” Jensen stared but before he could groan he found the bed invaded by both child and puppy. “What kind of puppy?”

Jared had been about to caution Nicky to remember Jensen’s bruises and other injuries when his ever so smart little boy slowed down and moved very carefully until he was closer to Jensen, holding out what he had clutched in his hand.

“Chad and I were walking Nemo and on the way home I found this on the sidewalk,” he told Jensen happily, showing his find proudly. “It’s a rock with a happy face. Chad says it’s happy I found it and not some other little kid, so I brought it home for you so you’d be happy too.”

Jensen looked at the smooth stone that did indeed look like it was smiling, taking it into his own hand to run his fingers over it before looking up into innocent eyes with a dimpled smile. He swallowed thickly as he slipped the stone into the pocket of the too large but comfortable sweatpants and then reached up to brush too long bangs back. “I am happy, Nicky,” he told the boy, sensing Jared nearby watching them. “Thank you for this and for welcoming me into your home.”

Nicky’s cheeks blushed, not used to anyone other than his Daddy praising him like that. “If you stay with us, Daddy and I’ll make you happy all the time. Do you want to stay with us, Jensen?” He asked hopefully even if he wasn’t sure why he felt it was important this new person stay.

“I do,” Jensen was fighting emotions he wasn’t sure still existed as he looked into his son’s face, feeling Jared’s hand on his shoulder. “Do you want me to?”

“Oh! Yes!” Nicky’s eyes lit up happily, bouncing to his knees which had Nemo hopping on the bed in excitement as well. “Will you? Will you stay with us?”

Jared stood still, watching this scene with his heart pounding as Jensen nodded. “Yes, I’ll stay with you and your Daddy and… what is this puppy, Jared?” He asked again while he and Nemo stared at each other as if coming to terms before the giant, furry puppy dropped to the bed to roll over and show his belly like he only did with Jared and Nicky.

“The vet says he’s part Great Dane and part Saint Bernard,” Jared shrugged as Jensen shot him a blank look of shock. “I found him and… well… I couldn’t leave him on the roadside to die or be eaten and Nicky wanted a puppy, so I got him his shots and brought him home.”

“Daddy? Do we need to get Jensen his shots like Nemo?” Nicky suddenly asked. “I had to get shots to go to school and they hurt so I hope we don’t but my doctor gives lollipops if you don’t cry.”

Jensen bit his lip to keep from smiling as Jared chuckled. “No, Jensen doesn’t need shots so I think we’re good there,” Jared replied, seeing identical green eyes blinking sleepily and knew Jensen was still tired and walking the puppy and playing outside had probably tired out their son. “Jensen, you should sleep more today so you can start to get your strength back,” he said, planning on telling Chad what he’d learned and texting Sam to maybe bring back a few more items from her shopping trip.

Jensen wasn’t eager to sleep since he doubted he’d be at ease with sleeping until he was certain things were calm or that he’d keep his memories, but he couldn’t deny that after going through all of the emotions he had just since waking up that he was exhausted again. He also noticed Nicky’s sleepy eyes and yawns so he nodded.

“Yeah, I am still tired,” he admitted, fingers light as he brushed back soft blonde hair to see Nicky was half asleep. “Nicky? Do you want to nap with me while your Daddy does whatever Daddy’s do?” He asked, unsure if the child would trust him that much this soon and was a little shocked when the little boy crawled closer to snuggle against his side while the puppy seemed to know to get on the floor to take his own nap. “Jay? Is this…okay?” He asked, startled to feel so much this soon.

It had surprised Jared that Nicky was so willing to sleep since usually the boy hated taking naps in the middle of the day ever since he’d been four and decided he wasn’t a baby. But to see him laying curled up beside Jensen in the middle of his bed, watching as Jensen carefully slid his arm around him like he used to hold him when he’d been just born and he would nap with the baby, made something inside him unlock.

“Yeah, it’s all good, Jen,” he said and wished he could spend the day with his family but knew he had things to do to make sure dinner happened and also to show Jensen something he was hoping wouldn’t be too much, too soon for him. He brought over a quilt from the closet and saw Jensen’s eyes lock on it before he reached for it as Jared spread it out over him and Nicky. “They destroyed so much in the house to prove their point but they didn’t understand about this, so when I moved out of Louisiana this was one of the few things left that I took.”

Jensen touched the vintage quilt with the same careful touch that he touched Nicky with, to feel that the material still felt like it had when he and Jared had bought it right after moving into their small place.

Neither of their families were the crafty kind with heirlooms like quilts to pass down, but Jensen had been determined to start some kind of tradition for their family; so they’d bought the quilt. He saw the small stain on one square where the baby had spit up when he’d been a week old.

It hurt him to know that his father’s people had hurt Jared, had threatened him and had destroyed their things. He knew he had his own questions but needed to wait until they were alone or they’d explained things to their sleeping son.

“Jared?” He called softly after stretching out fully and chuckling as Nicky moved closer in his sleep and still slept with his one hand close to his face like he had as an infant. “Thank you for coming to Texas when you did.”

“If I had known more or had the guts to confront your father or you earlier, I would’ve been there sooner,” Jared said, letting his hand rest on a relaxing shoulder, keeping it there until he saw Jensen’s eyes close fully and then he stood there for several minutes to just look at a scene he’d never thought he’d get to see again. “You watch them, Nemo,” he told the puppy softly before stepping out of the bedroom, leaving the door open a little so he’d hear if either Jensen or Nicky called for him.

He found Chad sitting in the kitchen, playing on his phone. “Thanks for keeping them out longer than just the walk,” he said while pouring another cup of coffee. “And before you ask, since I know that’s what you’re in my house waiting for me for, Jensen said a guard helped him get out. There was car with a programmed GPS, already packed with the luggage and he was told to not stop except at preset spots for gas and not get out until he got to me.”

“Yeah, there’s something not right with this whole set-up, dude,” Chad didn’t like how this was shaping up and decided it might be time to call in some favors from the State to get him more help than the few deputies he had on hand. “Either they set him up to catch him with you and take you all out or… damn, I don’t know. This is above my pay grade, Jared.”

Jared agreed and decided he was going to give Jeff a call after he got Chad out of the house to run things by him since he knew his editor was ex-military and had a good nose for trouble. He was also going to keep that card he’d been given handy.

“Keep the doors locked, keep an eye and an ear out and I’ll be outside tonight,” the Sheriff said as he filled a thermos with coffee, grabbed a box of cookies from the counter and grinned. “Text me and send me a plate of whatever you cook for dinner.”

“Thanks again, Chad,” Jared walked his friend to the door to see the petite dark haired deputy standing beside the marked car as if waiting to speak to her boss. “Chad? Don’t get picked up for making out in front of my house, huh? It would look bad since you are the Sheriff.”

“Shut up!” Chad blushed but didn’t deny he’d considered it. Of course not right then, given that he wasn’t sure when trouble would be coming to pound on his friend’s door.

After closing and the locking the door, Jared took a slow breath to settle his nerves. He called Sam, who was happy to pick him up a few more items, and then he began to search through his shelves to find the item he wanted for later.

While keeping an ear open for sounds from the upstairs, he began to peel potatoes and get them on the stove while waiting for Sam to return from the store. Then he heard his phone’s text alert go off.

Expecting it to be from either Chad or Jeff, Jared wiped his hands to grab it and then nearly dropped it as he read the message.

‘ _Watch your and his backs_.’

“Shit,” he whispered. A part of Jared wanted to put both Jensen and Nicky in his car and run; to try to escape or hide, but he knew the Ackles’ family was too rich, too powerful and there was nowhere they could go. There was only one way to fight back, to try to put an end to the threats and that would be to face it and also confront them. Jared just wasn’t sure if he could ask Jensen to do that.

Putting the worry about the text aside, Jared picked up when Jeff called him back and spent over an hour on the phone explaining what he could without revealing all the details yet. He trusted Jeffrey Dean Morgan but right then Jared’s inner sixth sense wasn’t sure who to trust 100%.

“I agree with our actually ‘smarter than he looks or acts’ Sheriff,” the gruff speaking man said over the phone. “Something about all of this smells and feels wrong. Jared, I know I gave you this story and I know you mainly went on it to find out the truth, but this is starting to smell like I let you step into something a hell of a lot more dark or corrupted than just some lies. You need to tell me everything or tell Danneel everything. I have some friends still talking to me in the Bureau if it comes to it but with these types of people, the only way to cover your ass and keep your family safe will be to…”

“Come out publically in all ways,” Jared nodded, lifting his head when he heard a step. “Yeah, I know that but… I’ll think about that and call you later, Jeff,” he said looking up to meet green eyes as Jensen stepped into the kitchen and Jared felt a low punch to his gut as he took in the sleepy eyes, the spiky, too short hair that still looked mussed from sleep and how Jensen looked in his clothes. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jensen rubbed a hand over his eyes before reaching out toward the cup in Jared’s hand. “Coffee?”

“Yeah, but it’s black. I can make you a cup with… okay then,” Jared blinked as the man took his cup and drank it like it had been years since he’d had any and then inwardly slapped himself as he thought that maybe it had. “Is there anything in particular you want for dinner or that you don’t eat now or…? I’m sorry, I’m rambling but…”

Jensen leaned against the counter in the kitchen to watch Jared. He noticed the battered refrigerator covered in drawings and school papers as well as what looked like little items handmade by a creative child scattered on the messy table, all while the counters were clear of clutter and he smiled.

“You used to babble when you were nervous before too,” he murmured, motioning with the cup toward the old pot that actually required grounds to make a whole pot. “May I?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jared watched as Jensen’s hand shook as he poured from the pot, noticing that his legs also seemed to shake and nudged a chair out so he could sit down. “Jensen, you don’t have to ask. Anything you want here is yours. I… I don’t have much but what I do have is yours.”

“What you have is plenty,” Jensen sat down slowly, fighting not to wince but it was hard as his whole body ached. “So you’re a journalist now.”

It felt weird but in some way both men knew that regardless of what memories Jensen had gotten back, he’d still missed the past seven years of Jared’s life, of their son’s life, and that would require a getting to know each other period again.

“No, I’m a small town reporter who usually does small town news like sports, or anniversaries, or simple stuff like that,” Jared corrected as he sat down across from Jensen. “I took on a story that was ten levels over my head because I had to see you. I knew something was wrong and the more videos I watched, the more of those words I heard come out of your mouth, I knew it wasn’t you or… not the you I knew… if that makes any sense.”

“The man who gave those speeches or said all that hateful crap, that wasn’t me, Jay,” Jensen’s memories of that time were spacy but he recalled the speeches he’d been forced to memorize and give even as they sickened him inside. “I think I’m still running for a Senate seat I never wanted and on a platform that I’m fully against, but… I don’t know what to do about it now.”

Jared reached across the table to grip the clenching hand in his. “We’ll figure it out,” he promised, determined that they would. “It might require you talking to my boss and having a public confrontation with your family in order to bring all this out in the open so they can’t lay it on you, but whatever you decide to do I will have your back.”

“We have a seven year old son that I hardly know. I’m probably one step away from being locked up if my father’s pals track me here. Jay, I love you. I love Nicky. But I’d rather face all the pain again or possibly die than place you guys in danger.” Jensen hurt to say this; he felt his heart actually hurt at the thought of losing his family again but he knew it would kill him if he was ever responsible for Jared or their son being hurt or worse, killed.

“I will have your back,” Jared repeated in a firmer tone, lips quirking up as Jensen looked at him with a bit of his old self. “I grew up a lot in these last seven years, Jensen. I had to. I became a single father who had to work and who had to move to keep Nicky safe after everything that was yours, even your name on his birth certificate, was stripped away by bigots. I’m not letting those bigots strip anything away from us again, Jen. I’ll use every ounce of power that the press has to keep you and him safe, but… I don’t want to ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with so…”

Jensen understood that what Jared was suggesting would mean going back to Texas and even if he didn’t, he’d still have to confront his family, his so-called manager and everyone who’d hurt him, tortured him, brainwashed him and he knew that dangers in that. He also knew none of them would ever be safe unless he did take a stand. But right then it made him shake to even consider facing that nightmare.

“Not right now, sugar,” Jared moved to kneel beside Jensen’s chair when he saw his body start to visibly tremble at the thought of facing his tormentors. “I’ll find a way to keep you safe from them. There are ways to start the process without facing them down, even if it’s just talking to Jeff, who is a much better journalist than I am.”

“I…” Jensen took a deep breath, fingers turning to grip the hand Jared still had over his. “I think you’re a great journalist,” he moved his other hand up to run his fingers back through thick, soft dark hair that he noticed now touched Jared’s shoulders. “I’m proud of you, Jay. I’m proud of the man you’ve become. I’d proud that you fought back to keep yourself and Nicky safe. I’m sorry I didn’t fight back more or…”

“You did, Jensen. You did fight back,” Jared’s eyes were on Jensen’s as he knelt on the kitchen floor, unaware of how he’d eased closer, of how Jensen moved his legs allowing him to kneel between them which brought them closer. “I know it might not look like it right now, but if a piece of you hadn’t fought back, hadn’t still been fighting, then I don’t think that photo would’ve triggered you like it did,” he gently touched Jensen’s face to let his palm rest on his cheek. “If you’d have given in fully, you wouldn’t remember all that you do. I’m proud of _you_.”

Their eyes locked and both men sensed a growing need but Jensen’s nightmares, the trauma of the past seven years, still kept him from taking that step.

“It’s okay, Jensen,” Jared murmured as if sensing his feelings, fingertips running over his lips while smiling. “I said I’ll give you all the time and space you need and I will. Don’t push yourself. Don’t…” he paused at a thump from upstairs and then a bark and a laugh and he met Jensen’s slow smile. “Have I mentioned that those two are only quiet when they’re asleep?”

“He’s like you there too,” Jensen chuckled, leaning closer to let his forehead rest against Jared’s for this final moment of peace before their son and his puppy got to them. “I woke up to him lying in my arms like he did as a baby, Jay. It breaks my heart that I missed so damn much of his life, of your life. What if he hates me when he learns who I am? What if…”

Jared touched his lips again to stop those worries quickly. “Trust me, sugar. Nicky will not hate you. We’ll explain as much as we can to him, but he won’t hate you,” he promised and then pushed up just as paws and feet slid into the kitchen. “Hey there, how about you show Jensen the house… including your hopefully clean room while I go help Sam bring in the groceries and start supper?” He suggested as he’d heard the car horn that let him know she was back.

“Can we have burgers and fries for supper?” Nicky asked while giving his father his best hopeful look.

“I was trying for something a bit healthier,” Jared knew his son had gotten his big sad eyes from him and had a hard time ignoring them. But since he didn’t want to make Jensen think he had no parental control he was about to make an effort when he groaned as another set of big green eyes were aimed at him. “Seriously?”

“I haven’t had a burger in seven years, Jared,” Jensen hadn’t really been a huge burger and fry fan before but now he really wanted one and would side with Nicky in order to get it. “Make a salad with the burgers and fries and there’s your healthy component.”

Nicky stepped closer to Jensen once he saw he had an ally. “Daddy makes salads with everything,” he told him while sliding a look to his amused but still struggling father. “Even with hotdogs he makes a salad. It’s a good thing I like salads but without tomatoes.”

“Yeah, those are gross,” Jensen agreed and knew Jared had given in when he heard a groan and something like Jared’s head banging into one of the upper cabinet doors in frustration as he realized just how alike he and Nicky were. “So are we having burgers, Jared?” He asked, unaware of how easy it was becoming to tease the man again.

“Yes, we’ll have burgers and fries… and salad without tomatoes,” Jared knew he’d give in the moment he saw Nicky’s little hand slipping into Jensen’s without any hesitation and held it. “Now, both of you go explore the inside of the house while I carry stuff inside and get to work on dinner.”

“Yay! Thanks, Daddy!” Nicky cheered as Nemo barked. “C’mon, Jensen! I’ll show you the house so you won’t get lost,” he said while tugging on Jensen’s hand. “It’s a small house but has lots of rooms and a basement but it scares me so I don’t go down there or Daddy’s office unless he’s in there but you probably can since you’re a grown-up and it’s a grown-up room.”

Jensen smiled as he stood slowly, careful to have his balance before starting to follow the little boy out of the kitchen; pausing by Jared to give his hand a tight squeeze. “Thanks, Jay,” he whispered and then went to let Nicky give him the grand tour of what might look like a small house but as Jensen followed the child he began to see it was a lot more.

Most people, like his parents or their friends, would see the house and think it was cheap, or too old, or looked poor but Jensen looked at it and saw the love and work that Jared had put into it in order to make it a home for their son.

He saw that while the furniture was a little ragged, the carpets in some of the rooms threadbare or thin, Nicky’s room had new carpet and new furniture which told Jensen exactly what Jared spent what extra money he had on. He also could tell the current race car bed would be fast outgrown since Nicky had obviously gotten Jared’s long limbs and would be tall as well.

As Nicky showed him his room, Jensen noticed that while he had toys and obviously liked video games, he also had a huge bookcase with various books and that made Jensen think back to when he’d been an infant and he’d tell him stories.

Noticing a ragged, crudely bound book on the top shelf he asked the child if he could look at it and saw Nicky’s eyes get huge at having an adult ask his permission for something, but then he nodded.

“Daddy… he said my other…” he stopped, remembering he wasn’t supposed to mention who his other parent was to strangers, but he could sense that Jensen was different and so hesitated another moment before starting again. “He said my other Daddy used to tell me stories and he drew pictures to go with them. He saved those and made me a book and he still reads from it sometimes.” Nicky watched as Jensen sat down on his bed to carefully leaf through the pages of the well-worn booklet. “He said there was more but something happened when I was a baby and he lost a lot. He still had these and he tries to remember other stories but Daddy said he isn’t as smart as my other Daddy, but I think he’s the smartest man in all the universe!”

Jensen swallowed the lump as he flipped through the pages to see drawings he knew he’d done but wondered if he still could do that now. He noticed a few pages had been taped back to pieces and felt fury at those who had tried to destroy even something as simple as stories and drawings.

“Your Daddy _is_ the smartest man in all of the universe, Nicky,” he finally replied when he could speak, looking next to him to see curious eyes watching him. “Does he still read to you or are you too big for that?” He asked curiously only to be answered when Nicky hopped on the bed beside him with Nemo laying at his feet as if both were okay with him reading to them. “Can I read from this or do you have another book you like?”

“No, I like these stories the best,” the child replied and sat back as Jensen did to lean against him so he could see the drawings. As the man began to read to him in a deep, husky voice that had a slightly heavier drawl than his Daddy’s voice did, it was almost familiar too him; familiar and comforting and he settled in to be read to.

Jared had carried in bags for Sam and then thanked the woman for her help before once again offering her money, only to have it refused again.

“You keep that and I’ll be back tomorrow to take Nicky to a show or something so you boys can have some time to talk,” Sam told him. She saw Chad sitting across from the house so knew things should be safe for the night. “If you, or he, or Nicky needs anything tonight you call me or call Danneel or yell for the Sheriff.”

“I will and thanks again,” Jared waved as she left and waved again to reassure Chad everything was alright. He still felt uneasy as he shut the door but shrugged it off as too active an imagination or too many movies.

He shut and locked the door and then went to start dinner. Jared had noticed the house had gone quiet which made him curious since Nicky and Nemo were _never_ this quiet unless they were sleeping. Since he didn’t think they’d sleep again before bed he was starting to get concerned until a burst of giggles came from upstairs and he relaxed again.

It made Jared happy that his son was responding to Jensen as well as he had and hoped that when they did explain the truth to him, that he would understand some of it and wouldn’t change his feelings.

Once the burgers, fries and salad were made, Jared headed upstairs to call his family for dinner only to stop in the door to Nicky’s room when he heard Jensen’s voice, deep and husky, telling a tale of a maiden and a dragon. Jared felt his knees shake as he looked in to see Jensen sitting on the racecar bed with Nicky beside him and the puppy on the floor, both listening to the story as the man told it; only Jared could see that Jensen wasn’t looking at the words on the page but was reciting from memory.

He leaned in the door to listen to the end of the story and then watched as Jensen closed the tattered booklet that Jared had made of the papers and drawings he’d salvaged.

“Thank you for reading to me, Jensen,” Nicky told him. “Daddy reads good but…”

“But I don’t have that natural storytelling gift that you do,” Jared spoke up with a smile, meeting Jensen’s eyes to see the depth of green shining back at him. “I still mess up words even if it’s not as bad as when I was his age. I could still listen to you tell stories for hours.”

“Maybe Jensen can read to both of us?” Nicky thought that was an awesome idea but right then he was hungry and could smell the food. “Is dinner ready?”

Jared nodded. “Go wash up and Jensen and I will be down by the time you’re done,” he laughed as the boy and dog both took off. “You okay?” He asked as Jensen stood up to place the booklet back on the shelf.

“You kept those?” Jensen turned to see Jared nod. “I haven’t read a story or picked up a pencil since the last one I did for him. I’m not even sure I can still draw but it still seemed so natural when I read to him,” he glanced at the bed before looking at Jared. “He’s growing fast.”

“Yeah, he is and yeah, it hurts every damn time I have to replace his bed or he outgrows his clothes,” Jared said as they headed for the kitchen while Nicky could be heard splashing in the water while washing his hands. “When he outgrew his last pair of footie pajamas that you bought for him I cried and still have them in a box downstairs with his crib and toddler bed. I knew I’d never have another baby but I…I couldn’t stand to give those things away.”

Jensen took the plates to set the table. Placing them down, he moved back to where Jared stood to turn him around to face him, hands framing Jared’s face. “I can’t say what will happen but I swear that if I can, I will keep that promise I made to you the day we left Texas,” he said, letting his lips brush over Jared’s cheek before stepping back.

“I just want you, Jensen,” Jared replied, pulling out a chair as Nicky dashed into the kitchen to make a beeline right for the food like he always did only to seem to think twice before slowing down. “Let’s get you and this bottomless pit of a child fed before you both starve.”

Jensen smiled as he sat down, and for the first time in he wasn’t sure how long ate a home cooked meal with the man he knew he still loved and the little boy that had come from that love. He refused to think about what might be coming or anything else negative as he ate and listened to Nicky try to talk to both of them while the large puppy waited for scraps to fall. This was where he belonged and where he planned to stay, no matter who tried to stop him.

While the family ate in peace, they as well as the Sheriff sitting out in his car, were unaware of danger lurking not too far away.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Eight**

Usually dinner at the Padalecki house was a quick affair since Nicky would eat and then want to play, or read, or during the week he’d do his homework. On that night, the little boy ate slower while trying to split his attention between his Dad and the new man in the house, a man he very much liked and felt safe with.

Nicky knew there was something more to Jensen. Not only had he been in his Daddy’s bed that morning but he made his Daddy smile more than he was used to seeing him smile. It was also odd for them to eat burgers and fries on real plates and not paper, so he got a feeling that Jensen being at the house was a very big thing.

As he ate, he watched the greened eyed man talk to him and to his Daddy. Nicky loved hearing his voice because the sound was different than his or his Daddy’s. It also made him happy to hear it because it made him think that he might’ve heard it before and just couldn’t remember where.

“Sam brought apple pie from the store since my baking isn’t that good,” Jared was saying as he stood up after everyone was done eating. “Maybe before bed, we can have some and ice cream?”

“Ice cream!” Nicky shouted happily; pleased that he not only got to have burgers but also ice cream. “Is it strawberry ice cream?”

“Would I feed either of you anything but strawberry ice cream?” Jared chuckled, not missing the way Jensen winked at Nicky or the way they exchanged ‘secret’ high-fives. “Jensen? I have something I think you’ll want to see or… I hope you will but… Nicky? I know you’re a big boy now and I know you ask me why I keep certain things like that one DVD but I want to show it to Jensen, okay?”

“The one that makes you cry because you say I’m growing too fast?” Nicky didn’t like to see his Daddy upset so he didn’t understand why he’d want to show Jensen that, but he nodded. “Can I watch too?”

Jared smiled as he picked his little boy up to whisper his thanks. “Yeah, you can sit with us,” he said while looking at Jensen’s confused face as they moved from the kitchen to the living room where he sat Nicky on the sofa beside a wincing Jensen while Nemo curled up with a toy as he slipped a DVD into the machine before sitting on the sofa. “If this upsets you, or you can’t watch it yet, tell me,” he said while going on. “I know it won’t bring it back or give you those years and it’s not everything but… I tried to capture what I could.”

At first Jensen didn’t understand what Jared was talking about and then the video turned on and he immediately felt his heart jump into his throat and his eyes started to burn as he realized Jared had recorded some of Nicky’s baby moments.

“Oh my God,” he whispered, leaning up to sit on the edge of the sofa to stare at the screen as it showed Nicky as an infant a little over a month old, sitting in what Jensen recalled was a bouncy chair. But unlike the happy baby he recalled and had seen in the photo, Nicky wasn’t playing eagerly even though he batted at the toys.

Someone else was holding the camera, or it was set on a tripod, as Jared sat beside the chair to play with the baby boy. Jared didn’t look too happy either and he could see the bruises on his face and how he favored his obviously broken arm.

“Daddy said this was right after he fell down the steps where we used to live,” Nicky said helpfully, noticing Jensen’s face was tight and his fingers seemed to be clenching on his knee as he watched the video. “He said I was sad ‘cause my other Daddy had just been taken away from us by bullies.”

“Is that what you told him?” Jensen asked softly, furious at the bruises he saw on Jared in the video. Suddenly, he reached for the remote to rewind it to a shot of Nicky’s face to stare at something he noticed and knew the moment Jared shook his head subtly that what he saw was a bruise and that when they were alone he was going to be demanding to know which one of his father’s bastards had touched their son.

For the moment though he let the video play. In the beginning it was mostly shots of the baby doing baby things which made Nicky roll his eyes but it made Jensen smile as he watched his wiggly son manage to roll over for the first time on his own.

Nicky did commentary of things he recalled Jared telling him but as he saw how Jensen was watching the TV he moved a little closer to place his small hand on his and then just watched himself do different things.

Jared watched this DVD at least twice a year and it never failed to choke him up. This time he was trying not to let it in case he had to move fast if it started to bother Jensen. He saw him blinking his eyes as tears filled them as Nicky took his first shaky steps on long legs when he was less than eight months old.

“Up and plop,” Nicky giggled as he watched himself pull himself up and then plop back down to his butt with a giggle. “I think I did it because it made Daddy laugh too.”

“He learned to walk fully by the time he was a year and was already forming words before then,” Jared murmured but knew Jensen was focused on the video as it showed bits and pieces of moments Jared was lucky enough to capture.

“Daddy?” Nicky said quietly as he turned his head to look at Jared. “Why is Jensen crying?” He asked in confusion and then got to his knees on the sofa to wipe over wet checks with his fingertips. “Jensen? Don’t cry. See? I’m big now. All those falls didn’t hurt me even though I cried and…”

“What else did you tell him about… about his other Dad?” Jensen asked, voice tight as he tried not to lose control of emotions that wanted to come.

Jared opened his mouth to speak but before he could he found his son speaking up. “Daddy said he was handsome and smart, smarter than him and that I got my book smarts from him ‘cause when he was my size he was still stupid.” Nicky replied while staring at Jensen’s face and then over to the mantle where he’d known a photo had once hung.

He missed the way Jensen’s jaw clenched and the look he shot his father at Jared’s opinion of himself as he looked back to him. “He said Daddy loved us and loved me but he had to go to keep me safe. Is it my fault? If he had to go with the bullies to keep me safe then is it my fault… you left us?”

Both men started to speak up at that, to deny Nicky’s misplaced blame, when suddenly Jensen’s breath caught and Jared went totally still as it sank in what their son had just asked. His eyes, wet with tears now, lifted and stared into Jensen’s matching eyes.

Nicky had been trying to place where he’d seen Jensen’s eyes and his face before, and when he looked to the empty frame he remembered. Then it suddenly made sense why the man seemed so familiar and why he felt safe with him. He didn’t understand why he was there or other questions he’d always wondered but hadn’t asked his Daddy, but now he waited to see what the answer would be to his question.

“No, it’s not your fault, Nicky,” Jensen said, glad that Jared had paused the DVD but motioned for him to wait as he started to say something. “Nothing was your fault. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine for not fighting back the day they came for me but Jared wasn’t home and… I needed to think they’d keep their promise that it was just to talk and that I could come home to you and your Daddy. But… they lied and I couldn’t get back to you.”

Jared hadn’t been certain if Nicky might put the pieces together before they could tell him. He’d meant it when he told Jensen earlier that their son was smart and that he might since he had noticed that they shared certain traits. Even so, it still shocked him by what he asked now. It also shocked him that Jensen answered so honestly and with something he had left out earlier; something that now made more sense to him about what had happened.

Nicky chewed his bottom lip as if deep in thought and then crawled the rest of the way into Jensen’s lap to look him in the face, little fingers tracing Jensen’s face while doing the same with his own face. “Are… are you my Daddy?” He asked quietly.

Jensen glanced at Jared for a half a second to see his nod of encouragement. Taking a shaky breath, he looked into eyes so much like his own and nodded. “Yeah, Nicky,” he said. “I’m… I’m your Daddy. And… I have missed you so much.”

“Daddy and… Daddy,” Nicky reached out for Jared’s hand while flattening his other hand against Jensen’s wet, tear streaked cheek. He had a brief thought that he might need to call one of them something else but then with a happy cry he went into Jensen’s arms fully. “Daddy! We’ve missed you too!”

A thousand scenarios had been going through his still crowded and confused brain but this hadn’t been one of them. It took Jensen a second or two to catch up with the reality that his son was in his arms, hugging him tightly and calling him ‘Daddy’.

The moment it did, he folded Nicky into his arms to hug him back as tightly as he dared without risking harm to the small boy, trying to muffle a sob that broke free finally having no chance of burying his emotions until later. Strong arms wrapped around them both and Jensen let Jared hold him and their little boy while both he and Nicky cried.

“Don’t leave us again, Daddy,” Nicky normally didn’t like to cry because he thought it made him look like a baby and it made his Daddy sad but that night he didn’t care. He had both of his parents with him and he would do anything to keep it that way. “Please? I’ll be good all the time. I’ll keep my room clean. I’ll walk Nemo by myself and I’ll get good grades and… Please, please don’t leave me and Daddy again,” he begged Jensen while he scooted in closer against him as he felt shaking arms holding him tighter even as he could hear his Daddy whispering to them both that it would be okay.

“I’m not leaving either of you, Nicky,” Jensen promised through tears, not even noticing how Jared was holding him right then as he worked to calm down, to calm Nicky back down as well as a whining puppy who didn’t understand what was happening. “I’ve lost seven years with you and your Daddy. I’m not losing anymore no matter what happens or… Jared!”

The sound of glass shattering in the back somewhere came with a shot sounding from outside along with a yell and then the lights blinked.

“Damn it!” Jared hadn’t thought anyone would come at them this quickly, or this forwardly, but even as it was happening and he heard the worry in Jensen’s voice, he was pulling him to his feet while making sure a scared Nicky was wrapped in his arms. “Get upstairs with him and Nemo. Go into my room, shut the door and lock it and then hide in the closet,” he ordered quickly, seeing the flash of fear on Jensen’s face and eyes and understanding it completely. “I am not letting them take you and they will not hurt either of you. Now go!”

Jensen hated the thought of hiding while Jared faced the danger of whoever or whatever his family had sent after him, but as he felt the body in his arms shaking he suddenly knew he needed to protect their son. With a look back at Jared, something else could be heard crashing outside, he whistled for the overgrown puppy to follow as he hurried up the steps to the Master bedroom.

Jared waited until he heard the bedroom door shut and lock before he grabbed his phone to try to call out only to realize that somehow his cell was being blocked and he cursed. He wanted to go look for Chad, or the deputies he said would be around, but he had a hunch he was on his own for the moment as a noise came from the back again and he realized they were at the kitchen door.

“They are not taking what is mine,” he growled. He grabbed for the item he kept stashed in the back of the hall closest.

Growing up in Texas, Jared knew how to shoot a gun. Both and he Jensen had learned how and while Jared might not like guns or care for violence, that didn’t mean he was risking harm to his family if he could prevent it. He didn’t plan to let Richard Ackles’ goons break into his home, scare his son and try to take Jensen away from him again. He wouldn’t let that happen and he’d shoot the bastards if he had to. Jared also planned to shoot his damn friend since Chad was nowhere to be found, unless he’d been jumped and couldn’t get into the house and that meant whoever this was? Wasn’t fooling around.

Outside the house, Sheriff Chad Michael Murray had been scrolling through things on his phone while leaning against his car when suddenly he looked up to see lights flickering in houses down the street. Then the street lights began to flicker and he was reaching for his service revolver just as a shot from somewhere hit his car and had him diving over it. He heard sounds of breaking glass and other sounds from the rear of Jared’s house and cursed his own stupidity for not putting someone in the back of the damn property.

He tried to call Jared only to find his phone not working. “Son of bitch!” he snarled when another shot shattered the windshield and then there were tires somewhere but Chad couldn’t see a damn thing since suddenly it was all foggy as if someone had thrown a smoke bomb and he no longer found this amusing. “Hey! This is your Sheriff! I need backup over here at the Padalecki house!” He yelled into the car radio while flipping on the car siren in hopes of maybe scaring away the attackers, only to have it shot out. “The hell with this!”

Chad wasn’t certain of the odds or where the damn attackers were. All he knew was that Jared and his son were in danger and that wasn’t happening on his watch. He pulled a shotgun from the rear of the car and went to go around to try to get across the street as he heard a gunshot from inside the house. Suddenly his legs were taken out from under him and he found himself on the ground looking up into the barrel of a gun.

“Stay down, Sheriff. This is way above you, mate.” An accented voice spoke from above him. As some of the smoke cleared, the street light showed a rather short man with thinning hair and a dark suit pointing a gun at him while speaking into a microphone. “I’ve got the law, take the house.”

Jared had gone toward the kitchen since that was where most of the noise seemed to be coming from and saw the back door glass had been shattered. The door was open but there was a body of a man on the floor, bleeding from the head.

“What the hell?” He tensed, whirling back around at the thought that someone else could be in his house. He broke into a run for the steps just as the front door was kicked in and someone shot at his head. “Son of a bitch!”

There was a noise from the second floor which put the fear of God into Jared because he wanted to go up, to protect Jensen and Nicky, but soon had more to worry about when a hard shoulder rammed into his back from behind. The blow knocked him to the floor and a hard boot slammed into his already bruised and cracked ribs before kicking his weapon out of his grasp.

“You should’ve minded your own damn business, freak,” a rough, cold voice said from above him as a weapon was heard cocking over him. “Now we’re gonna kill you after the boys and I have some fun with you and then make you watch as we kill that little bastard you tried to protect. Then we’ll drag the boss’s ungrateful brat back to Texas to show him real Texas punishment before they decide to lock him up or bury his ass while using him to prove the point that your kind needs putting down.”

“No! You won’t touch them!” Jared tried to fight back as a heavy boot stepped on his chest and he looked up into the hard face of Chris Kane as he aimed a pistol at his forehead.

“Hey kid,” Chris greeted coldly while pulling the hammer back on his pistol. “You were told to watch yours and his back. Guess you need some help in the listening department,” he smirked as a weapon sounded from upstairs and then a frightened cry of a little boy screaming for his fathers. “Sorry, Jared. I’ll try to make this quick.”

“Daddy? What’s going on?” Nicky clung to Jensen’s neck until they got to the Master bedroom and Jensen knelt to gently tuck him into the back of Jared’s closet on a pile of clothes he pulled down to make a cushion and then he began blocking him in with other things he could find. “Daddy? You… you stay with me? I’m scared.”

“I know. I know you are and so am I but your Daddy and I won’t let anything happen to you,” Jensen knew he was shaking, probably as badly as his son, but had to hold it together for Nicky’s sake. He could hear sounds and then deep voices and felt sick at how easy it was for those voices to take him right back to the mindless puppet he’d been for six years. But then little fingers clutched his hand and he shrugged those thoughts away to remember he had a child and he was not repeating the mistakes he made seven years ago that had cost him seeing Nicky grow up. “I’m not leaving the room but I can’t come in there with you. I’ll… you stay real quiet okay, Nicky? You stay quiet, cover up and don’t come out until Daddy, or I, or the Sheriff call for you.”

Jensen heard doors being kicked in and knew he had to protect Nicky. “I love you and your Daddy, little boy,” he said while running his fingers over soft hair and forced a calm smile to soothe the little boy’s fear. “I’ll keep you safe. Now hold the flashlight under the blanket with you and try to stay quiet,” he grabbed a small light he’d seen on the dresser before putting the child in the closet. Now he pulled the door shut and was standing to turn and face the door just as the lock was shot off.

He heard a shriek of fear from inside the closet even as his fingers were closing around a bat he’d found against the closet wall. “Get the fuck away from my son,” he told the gun toting, muscled man he recognized as one who took malicious glee in hurting people on his father’s orders.

“You clearly need another few shock sessions, boy. You ain’t got no kid,” the man sneered as he stepped into the bedroom, gun aimed at Jensen and looking amused that the man was trying to stand up to him. “You’re going to get on your knees, put your hands behind your back and kiss my boot before I kick your ass. Then after I make you watch what we do to that faggot downstairs and his bastard, we’ll drag you home so your Daddy can decide what to do with you.”

Jensen’s belly was knotting, his hands shaking more as a piece of him wanted to do as he was told just like he’d been taught to do, but then a soft muffled sound was heard and he gritted his teeth. “Go to hell and tell my father; he can join you there,” he growled and prepared for pain as he watched the shock at his refusal and then fury fill the man’s hard face.

“I’m gonna make you bleed, faggot,” the man aimed the pistol at Jensen’s knee. “Your old man and Mr. Collins said to bring you back alive. Neither one of them said anything about in one piece.”

“I’m not going anywhere, asshole,” Jensen could feel himself getting stronger despite the pounding of his heart. “Not this time. This time, you’ll have to kill me before you take me away from my family. This time I will make you kill me before I let you, or your bastard friends, near me, my son or Jared.”

The man laughed, finger grazing over the trigger. “Kane’s putting a bullet in that asshole’s head as we speak and I’ll put one in yours if you don’t get down on your goddamn… ugh!”

Jensen swung the bat hard, the shot echoing through the room along with the crack of wood on bone. Jensen felt the bullet graze his knee though the loose sweatpants, the bat slipping from his fingers as he fell to his knees. He heard Nicky scream for him and for Jared after hearing the shot and the cry of pain Jensen couldn’t muffle all the way.

“Go to hell!” He gritted out and took the butt of the pistol to the side of his jaw. “My father and his racist goons tried to destroy me, tried to make me forget who and what I am! Well… it didn’t… work… Agh!”

The gunman gave another hard blow to Jensen’s head while snarling obscenities at the man who he’d become accustomed to being docile and obedient. He’d beat that back into the asshole and had just drawn his arm back again when it was suddenly caught and twisted back painfully until a bone snapped and he screamed.

“Sorry, but that’s just not allowed to happen.” Sheriff’s Deputy Genevieve Cortese had thought this assignment was going to bore her to tears given how small Birkshead, North Carolina really was.

She’d found it relaxing, soothing, and even a little interesting given that the Sheriff was kind of cute… then the call had come and she realized that she actually preferred her boring work as a deputy to her real job which is how she came to be in the bedroom just then to break the arm of the lone gunman on the second floor of the home.

“Bitch! I’ll gut you as soon as I’m done… ugh!” The man screamed as the petite brunette easily side stepped his wild punch and broke his arm with the weapon. With an expert kick to his balls he found himself dropping to his knees to stare into a gun that she pulled.

“Oh, you are done,” Gen replied with a smile, kicking the man in the head rather than shooting him, only because she didn’t want to shoot the bigot in front of a man who was still considered a candidate for the Senate race in Texas. “Now take a nap before I shoot you between the eyes.”

Jensen felt woozy and cold, guessing he was going into shock but he was trying to move the bat while keeping his eyes on the woman in the uniform of the Sheriff’s office. “Who are you?” He demanded tightly only to drop the bat to grab for his son as Nicky was suddenly there, launching himself into Jensen’s chest with his shaking arms wrapping around his neck. “Don’t hurt him. I don’t care what you do to me but please… don’t hurt him or let him see.”

“Gen’s a good guy, Daddy,” Nicky knew his Daddy said to hide but when he heard the woman’s voice he’d peeked out to see Jensen on his knees and the bad man on the floor. “She’s a deputy and Chad said… Daddy?”

He pulled the child into his arms more while still glaring at the woman distrustfully. “No small town Sheriff’s Deputy can do what you just did. You’re not a cop,” Jensen was as sure of that as he was that his father had sent hired guns to kill his family and drag him back to Texas.

“No, I’m not just a small town cop, Mr. Ackles,” Gen admitted but gave a small reassuring smile to the child while holding her hands where the father could see. She silently wondered if her bosses had counted on the man getting his memories back this fast since she could tell that Jensen had. “But I also don’t work for your father or his backers, so I am on your side and I am here to protect you and your family.”

Jensen still stared at her for another moment before a loud shot from downstairs had his head jerking to the door and his heart stopping. “Jared,” he whispered, trying to scoop Nicky into his arms while standing, only to remember his damn leg was bleeding and he nearly fell. “Damn it.”

“Daddy? Is… Daddy okay?” Nicky was still scared. He’d only heard gunshots on TV and those meant someone was hurt. He saw the blood soaking through Jensen’s pants leg and clung to him tighter. “You have a boo-boo and it’s bleeding!”

“I need to get to Jared,” Jensen managed to almost stand only to lose his balance again. The woman’s hands caught him to help him get to the bed with Nicky still glued to his side. “Please! Let me help him!”

“Mr. Padalecki might be bruised but I promise my friends won’t let these good ole boys kill him,” Gen said while leaving the ‘I hope’ out of her statement while she knelt to try to look at Jensen’s leg after seeing the blood. “Damn, it’s just a graze but it’s bleeding,” she muttered and then spoke into the earpiece she’d slipped in. “Hey, I need a medic in here if you brought one and… there is someone downstairs taking care of that, right?” She asked and then blinked. “Oh. Wonderful. I can just see how this is going to play out. Make it two medics because the boss might need one.”

Jensen wanted to go help Jared but he also knew Nicky needed him. He finally had to hope this woman was telling him the truth and that Jared was safe or had help.

Right then Jared wasn’t sure if he wanted the help he ended up getting, if he were to be completely honest with himself. He still wasn’t sure what the hell had happened.

One minute he was on the floor glaring up at Chris Kane who had a pistol pointed at his head and was stepping on his chest while two other hired guns were mocking him, mocking about what they planned for Jensen and their little boy. Their words were pissing Jared off more but he knew when the boot on his chest pressed a bit more firmly that he was stuck and helpless.

“Do it!” He snapped, furious that this man was someone Jensen had once called a friend. “You said you’d make it quick, so do it, Kane! Kill me but you better make sure I’m dead because if I live and you or these bastard touch my son or Jensen? I will hunt you down until you burn in Hell!”

Chris Kane stared at the hate on Jared’s face for a long, silent moment before he nodded. “Yeah, I did say I’d make it quick,” he agreed and then smirked. “I just didn’t say it would be you I was shooting.”

The next thing he knew, as Jared tried to process that comment, was the pistol suddenly moved up and in one smooth motion and two quick shots, the two gunmen were dead and Chris was stepping back to look around before speaking.

“The house is clear. Did you burn the ones still outside? And please tell me you didn’t shoot the Sheriff?”

“The local law is a little ruffled and pissed off but he’s alive while the rest of these grunts are dead,” the same accented voice Jared had heard in Texas spoke now and he tried to look but wasn’t sure what was happening right then. “You just burned your cover, mate. Was this a wise move? The lads and I could’ve covered this mess while you stayed inside.”

“With Jensen out, my movements in the house or within the inner circle would’ve become limited. Plus I think I’d outstayed my welcome there anyway, so it was time to make the break,” Chris shrugged, slipping his pistol away while looking down at Jared before extending a hand. “Will you give me a chance to explain before you go for my throat?” He asked the younger man but had his doubts when his hand was knocked away and Jared got to his feet slowly by himself. “Jared…”

“You son of a bitch!” Jared’s fist rocketed out to hit Chris in the jaw and didn’t care if the other guy was there or not. “What the hell game are you playing, Kane? Whose team are you on and who the hell are… damn it! Jensen! Nicky!” He suddenly decided to forget Kane and bolted for the steps, wanting to check on them as he remembered of the sounds he’d heard earlier.

“Well, this should be fun to watch,” the dark haired man smirked while handing Chris a cloth for his bleeding mouth. “Oh, and the lovely ‘deputy’ is calling for a medic since it seems the bloke up there got a shot off at Ackles before she got to him.”

“Wonderful, that’s great to tell me given Jared already wants me dead and I know Jensen will the moment he makes all the connections,” Chris muttered with a growl. He stalked to the steps preparing to face the music but looked back. “Get Cohen in here and make sure Hartley knows to lose these damn bodies, Mark,” he ordered sternly, ignoring the mock salute he got and wondered if he wouldn’t have been better off staying undercover.

“Jensen!” Jared’s ribs were on fire and his head hurt but he didn’t care about that as he ran up the steps. He saw the kicked in doors, then he saw the splintered wood where the knob from the door to his room had been shot off and he could hear his little boy crying. “Jensen! Nicky! Are you…”

He stopped in the doorway to see a body on the floor that appeared to be breathing. Then he saw the woman Chad said was his new deputy kneeling down to try to stop blood as it came from a long angry looking gash on Jensen’s leg.

Jared was about to growl at her to move but then he was pinned by two sets of identical green eyes and he lost interest in everything else except crossing the room to sit on the bed and trying not to shake as he pulled both Nicky and Jensen into his arms.

“Jay,” Jensen tucked their little boy between them as Jared’s arms wrapped around them tightly. “Are you okay? What happened down there?” He asked, worried as he saw the blood on Jared’s face and managed to forget the few blows to his own head that he’d taken until shaking fingers touched his head and he winced while hissing in pain.

“I’m good,” Jared wasn’t but he wasn’t as bad as Jensen seemed to be. He then looked at Nicky who seemed content to snuggle between them with his fingers curled tight in both of their shirts. “How about you guys?” He asked, worried as he now could see how glassy Jensen’s eyes were starting to look. “Jensen?”

“Daddy has boo-boos,” Nicky spoke up, sniffling as he rubbed a hand over his nose and this at his eyes. “The bad man hurt him! He said bad things to him too and was gonna take Daddy away but then Gen stopped him.”

Jared’s eyes took in the bloody gash on Jensen’s head, the new bruises on his face and then the graze on his lower leg before looking up into the woman’s large dark eyes and knew she wasn’t just a deputy but decided to let that go for the moment to focus back on Jensen. “How bad?” He asked, starting to move Nicky more onto his lap so he could get Jensen back onto the bed. When a sound came from the door, Jared didn’t need to look to know all hell was about to break loose. “Jen…”

Jensen knew his leg was bleeding. He knew his head was bleeding too and he was dizzy and fighting shock but he was fighting it to keep Nicky with him. He was working to answer Jared’s question when a noise made him lift his eyes to the door. Suddenly there was a red haze of rage filling him when he saw Chris Kane about to enter the room and speak to the woman.

He heard Jared speaking to him, he felt Nicky still shaking from fear of the earlier violence as well as confusion to what was happening around him, but Jensen’s still often scattered memories were flashing back seven years ago when he’d trusted this man only to have him betray him. And that betrayal had cost him his family as well as possibly so much more.

“Nicky go to Daddy for a minute,” Jensen murmured softly to his son as he eased him into Jared’s arms while locking eyes with a grim faced Chris. “Also don’t be scared if Daddy yells because I’m about to, but you’re safe with us and once I take care of this no one will try to scare you again.”

Nicky might be seven but he knew when a grown-up’s voice changed that something was about to happen. So when Jensen’s voice went harder, colder than he’d ever heard, he looked up to see that his Daddy was glaring at the man with long black hair that had taken another step into the bedroom. He guessed it was another bad man and clung to Jared with a whimper.

“Jensen…” Chris began with a slow sigh, lifting his hands but making the mistake of stepping closer to the bed even as he caught Gen’s warning motion to back off. “I know this must be confusing to you right now but if you’ll let me explain I…”

“He remembers,” Gen spoke up even as she was moving quickly to her feet to avoid what she could easily see was about to happen.

Chris saw the change in Jensen since the night in Texas just a mere 72 hours earlier. He still looked pale and bruised but his face wasn’t as blank or hard… Well as blank, anyways, since it sure as hell was getting harder now. But even that looked different to the man. When Gen’s words clicked, he stopped in mid-step. “He remembers what?” He asked only to groan as Jared smirked. But it was the way Jensen’s hand hovered protectively against the little boy’s back until he was safely in Jared’s arms that told him he might have underestimated this situation. “Oh crap,” he groaned. “Jensen, wait…”

“You bastard!” Jensen gritted, no longer feeling the pain in his leg or his head; all he felt was rage and betrayal as well as protection for his son. He wasn’t even fully aware of his actions when he lunged for the man’s throat. “ _You_ did this! _You_ helped them to do this to me! _You_ cost me seven years of my son’s life! And now you show up to drag me back? Not happening Kane!”

Jared had gone to grab for Jensen once he had Nicky secured so he could stand up with him only to realize that despite everything he'd been through, Jensen was still as agile as a damn cat and in his fury at seeing the man who’d betrayed him, and his need to protect Nicky from what he saw as a threat, Jensen lunged and took a surprised Chris down to the bedroom floor with shouts of rage.

“You will not take me back there!” Jensen shouted furiously, images flashing through his mind of seven years of hell and abuse and of seeing this man through the last four of them. “I’ll kill you first before you can!”

He’d knocked one of Chris’s hands away as it went to go under his jacket and some inner instinct had Jensen knowing the man was carrying; he reached for the weapon to pull it himself. Then he aimed it with suddenly steady hands at the face of a man he’d once called his friend.

“No one will hurt me or what’s mine again.” Jensen said as his finger slipped against the trigger with every intent to pull it until a hand caught his wrist.

“No.”

**TBC**


	9. Chapter 9

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Nine**

“No.”

Jared Padalecki caught Jensen’s wrist to pull it back before he could pull the trigger. He’d briefly debated against it but then quickly did so for several reasons; the main one being the little boy in his arms who was also reaching for Jensen.

“He shot the men downstairs instead of shooting me, Jensen,” he said quietly, dropping his tone as he eased to the floor beside where Jensen was still on top of a totally frozen Chris Kane. “He could’ve easily tossed me out of the Town Hall that day or stopped me from speaking to you, but he didn’t. You said yourself that there were times when you still thought Chris was trying to protect you, even if he has a lousy way of doing it,” he added this while shooting the glaring bodyguard a dark look.

“Jen, I know he caused this. I know he betrayed you by telling your father where we were. I did not know he was who you opened the door to, so I will beat your face to a pulp for that later, Kane, but…right now I think maybe we should see how he’s connected to the two guys now at the door who bailed me out in Texas this last time,” Jared felt Jensen’s hand shaking and he could see how in shock he was becoming when he slowly looked over at him with tears in his eyes. “Sugar, you don’t want to do this now,” he slid his eyes to where Nicky was reaching out for Jensen and let him go when the gun was released to allow Jensen to take the scared child back into his arms. He let Jared help him up and away from Chris to sit back on the bed. “Thank you,” Jared whispered against Jensen’s ear but then turned a glare on the men. “Talk.”

Chris blew out a hard breath while sitting up slowly but made no move to stand yet. The short man with the accent handed him back his weapon before leaning against the wall beside the door “Where do you want me to start?” Chris asked, nodding to the now blood soaked leg of Jensen’s sweatpants. “Can the skinny guy in the hall look at that before he bleeds out? I don’t think any of us want to try a hospital right at this time.”

“Who do they work for?” Jared demanded, ears picking up Chad’s disgruntled voice from the front of the house where he seemed to be shouting at someone for sneaking Feds into his town. “Are they… are you the reason that when Chad ran the tags on the car Jensen drove here it triggered Federal red flags? Is that why that guy kept saying he couldn’t tell me who they were without killing me afterward?”

“God, I hate you guys,” Chris groaned while still feeling the hate burning from glassy green eyes as Jensen glared at him, but shot a sour look over his shoulder. “Seriously?”

“What? I didn’t think you’d want the boy to know too much right then in case you couldn’t get Ackles out of that rats nest.” Mark Sheppard shrugged calmly from where he rested against the wall. A second man, tall and lean with short black hair, tried to convince Jensen to let him look at his leg. “You told me to make sure he got out of Texas alive and it’s not like we had time to pull in a totally clean car to use for his escape that still could slip under the radar once the bloody dogs were let out on him.”

Jared stared between the men he’d seen in Texas down to Chris who was shaking his head and muttering under his breath about morons while catching Nicky’s hand before he could hit the man who was trying to apply pressure to Jensen’s leg to stop the bleeding from the shallow graze.

“No! I don’t want him hurting Daddy!” the anxious child argued as he shot the man a mutinous glare.

“No one’s hurting him, Nicky.” Jared reassured his son while noticing that Jensen’s own look was so much Nicky’s right then. “You’re Feds,” he stared at them as certain things started making sense now but others were still unclear. “Why would the Feds have an undercover man or men inside the Ackles campaign?” he demanded, confused. “That one said something about four boring years but they didn’t start the campaign for Senate until this year so…”

“There’s more than just the fraud and scandal behind the campaign that attracted certain peoples’ attention in DC, Jared,” Chris replied while slowly getting up but making certain to keep his distance as he watched Jensen tense. “There are people in the government that have been watching the actions of Richard Ackles and his backers for years but without solid proof, given that he has or had friends in the Texas state government there, we had to find that solid proof. That’s what I and a few others were sent in to do… and that’s when I realized how much deeper and darker this case really was.”

“Um, maybe before you boys start discussing things you should let Matt make sure Jensen’s not bleeding too badly or that he doesn’t have a worse concussion. And maybe not do it in front of the little boy?” Gen suggested with an eye roll.

“No, they might take my Daddy’s,” Nicky argued from where he sat on Jensen’s lap but kept his one hand on Jared’s arm too while giving Chris a look very much like Jensen was right then. “You’re a bully! I don’t want my Daddy to go away again! Nemo will bite you!”

Reminded about the dog, Jared was just looking around to see the puppy trying to sneak his too large body out of the closet and around Gen toward Chris, as if following the little boy’s suggestion. “Nemo, stay!” he said sternly and got a bland look from not only the dog but also Jensen and Nicky. “Okay, Nemo isn’t biting anyone until we know who the bad guy is. If I don’t like what Kane or his buddies say then he can bite him, okay?”

“He’d probably give the puppy rabies anyway,” Jensen whispered to the little boy and began to relax a little at the soft giggle; not that he was willing to forgive or trust his former friend or these strangers with him. “Jared and I should trust our son with her for what reason?” he asked tightly, head beginning to hurt a lot more and feeling his stomach beginning to turn as he got dizzy. “Jay? I think I need to lay down a second.”

“Cohen!” Chris snapped, taking a step only to stop at a growl. “What the hell is that?” he demanded with a motion to the puppy.

Jared sat Nicky down on the bed as he helped Jensen lay down flat. The man who’d been cleaning his leg moved to try to shine a light into Jensen’s eyes only to duck a fist.

“Just shock from the bullet graze and he took a couple blows to the head it seems, and in addition to those blows the other night you said he took, he should rest a couple hours to see how he feels,” Matt Cohen replied. As he went back to cleaning the graze he added. “It’s shallow but due to all the crap they’ve given him and done to him in that…” he stopped when Gen slapped him in reminder of innocent ears. “I really need a full panel work up to make sure there’s nothing else in his system that we need to know about.”

“I’m not going to a hospital,” Jensen refused firmly. “There is no way that you will get me in one of those again.”

As Nicky curled up beside Jensen on the bed to hold his hand and talk to him like Jared would talk to him when he was scared and hurt, Jared met Chris’s eyes to see him nod to the door that a furious and pissed off Chad Michael Murray had just appeared at.

“I told you this whole damn mess smelled like a bad spy movie, Jared,” he complained, glaring at Mark and then at his deputy. “I’d fire you for lying to me except there was no ‘are you a secret agent in your spare time’ on the application,” he muttered.

“Ms. Cortese was put in your office so she’d be close protecting Jared and his son, Sheriff,” Chris replied and then sighed. “This is very complicated and also very hush-hush so… would you let the ticked off cop and Gen take the boy to the kitchen for a snack while we talk?” he asked Jared since he knew he’d be the one to ask given that Jensen wasn’t going to trust anything he said for a long time, if ever. “Jared, I swear I will tell both you and Jensen what I can and that no one will hurt your son.

“Gen’s main job was to be here to keep that from happening but everything moved too fast after you made your appearance. It was vital to get Jensen out of that house when we did and send him to you… true, I didn’t count on him recalling as much as he seems to this quickly but…”

Jared stared at him and then the woman before tossing a look to Chad. “There’s strawberry ice cream in the freezer,” he said simply to his friend to see Chad nod but then the problem came when he had to convince Jensen to let Nicky go and to convince their son it was safe to leave Jensen.

“No,” Jensen said even though he knew things might be said that would just scare the boy. He frowned a little as Jared met his eyes and murmured in his ear. “Fine, he can go with them but if anything happens I want that monster puppy turned loose on someone or I will kick their asses as soon as the room stops spinning.”

“Dude, I’ve got him,” Chad replied but waited until an unhappy Nicky slowly moved away from the bed after Jared explained to him that Jensen would still be there, and he took his hand and then he called for Nemo to come with them.

“I’ll bring you back ice cream, Daddy!” Nicky called as Nemo followed closely behind them as Gen grinned when the big puppy stopped to look up and growl at Chris before trotting after Nicky.

“It doesn’t pay to upset the puppy, Chris,” she chuckled and left the room to also try to smooth over Chad’s ruffled nerves.

Chris Kane was beginning to think upsetting the so-called puppy would be the least of his problems right then. “Can I talk?” he asked.

“You can go to hell as far as I’m concerned,” Jensen shot back, teeth clenched against the pain of having the cut on his face cleaned. He felt strong fingers gripping his hand and squeezed Jared’s back tightly. “I trusted you. I thought you were the one person in that damn town that I could trust and you sold me out!” He lifted his head to throw a hurt look over to where the man stood. “Do you have any goddamn idea what he had them do to me? Did you know what he was going to have them do to me, Chris, when you sold me out?” he demanded.

“Jensen,” Chris began but faltered, unsure what to say to try to explain things. He knew he’d had his reasons for telling the Ackles family where Jensen and Jared were. He’d told Jared his reason but he hadn’t told him that he’d also been made to go there to get Jensen to open the door so the thugs could jump him and then lie to him.

He hadn’t expected the man to regain this many memories this soon because he had heard the doctors tell Richard and Jane that Jensen’s past memories before the electro-therapy, the drugs, and re-education process were gone because his brain had been damaged. It wasn’t that he hoped his friend had been brain damaged but he’d been looking for more time to try to explain and make up for it… not that he ever could since he had learned the full extent of Jensen’s abuse and it had been those reasons that he’d taken the long term undercover assignment.

“Did you know my father planned to lock me in some goddamn psych hospital in Oregon and let them basically torture me for a year because I fought back?” Jensen shoved Matt away in a burst of restless frustration to pull the loose t-shirt up to show the jagged scar on his stomach. “Did you know about this? Did you know he probably let them sterilize me too so I can’t have any more babies?” he demanded, tensing when Jared’s arm went around to hold him gently as his voice broke with emotion that he knew would never fully leave him now that he remembered it all. “Did you?”

“I… I didn’t know what he’d done to you or would do when he threatened to have my mother and grandfather evicted if I didn’t help him,” Chris began finally, ignoring the low whistle from one of his team members who’d stayed in the room to help explain their job. “I didn’t learn about that until… until this case first came up and they needed someone on the inside; someone who could gain their trust and learn more than what was being leaked or suspected by people who’d then go missing.

“We were given a dossier on all the players, including your parents and you… and in it were some of the records hacked from the hospital that had held you, which had re-educated you and… that…” he took a deep breath before going on with pain of regret on his face. “That they had sterilized you and removed your womb… Jensen…”

Mark Sheppard and Justin Hartley both stared at the man who was in charge of their operation. They’d all read the same dossiers but Chris, because he was going in deep, had been given more details as well as what he’d learned from being on the inside for so long.

“Damn, mate, you’ll be lucky if one of these lads don’t kill you for that bombshell,” Mark told him since he could see Jared’s face close off after there was a burst of anger there but then he was focusing on Jensen who had gone totally white. “Didn’t you usually bitch at me for using more tact?”

“Shut up, Mark,” Chris growled as he realized what he’d just done and could’ve kicked himself. “Jensen, I… I thought by the way you were talking that you either knew it or you’d seen the files we packed in your luggage or… you really didn’t know everything, did you?”

“I am going to kick your ass all over this goddamn place as soon as I get a chance,” Jared snapped but then was trying to get Jensen turned to face him. “Jensen… Jen, c’mon, look at me, sugar,” he urged, feeling how tense Jensen had gone at the acknowledgement of what they’d both feared but hadn’t been certain… until now. “I told you that it didn’t matter. We suspected by the scar and I… I suspected from things Sam mentioned to me even before I went to Texas that the odds were good your parents had it done but… I’d hoped for your sake that they hadn’t been that cruel, but it doesn’t matter to me.”

Jared had read all the papers, the reports on forced sterilization and had read the horror stories how some places hadn’t even put the patient out all the way or just used a little local anesthesia and the pain had been incredible. He prayed Jensen hadn’t felt pain but refused to ask him that. Right then he just wanted to get him to look at him and slowly, after gently whispering against his hair, he felt him shifting enough to meet his eyes.

“Jared, I…” Jensen had memories of that time but he didn’t think he was ready to face those yet fully so he’d tried to ignore them.

“I love you, Jensen,” Jared told him softly, ignoring the men or what this meant for them or their family. “I said even if you couldn’t carry a baby we could adopt, but it doesn’t matter to me,” he framed Jensen’s face between his hands to let the pads of his thumbs gently swipe over his cheeks. “So long as I have you and Nicky, that’s what I want. That’s all I want. Okay?”

“I love you,” Jensen whispered, letting his head rest on Jared’s chest while still glaring at Chris. “You, I hate. So tell Jared what you have to then I want you out of my life and away from our son,” he wrapped his arms around Jared’s waist and settled into his arms as if needing that security.

“I wish it would be that simple but until we close this can of worms you, Jared, and your son will be in danger,” Chris replied, seeing Jensen’s luggage and motioning to the tall blond man that had driven Jared to the airport to get it. “Did you look inside the luggage?” he asked Jared curiously while leaning on the dresser after pulling off his jacket and loosening his shirt to be more comfortable until he could change into his own clothes and not what had been standard while working for Richard and Jane Ackles.

Jared rolled his eyes. “I’ve been a little busy,” he retorted but then frowned. “I noticed there were some files and stuff in the one when I was trying to find him clothes but I didn’t look at them. I was going to give them to my editor since I figured the only way to try to help Jensen would be to go public with everything.”

“Bloody hell, this one likes to take the bull by the horns as you Texans might say,” Mark groaned but had to admit the kid had balls even if he didn’t know what the hell he’d gotten into.

“Pellegrino can have the damn election. I don’t want it. I never wanted it. They put me in so they could use the seat for their own purposes with me as their mouth piece,” Jensen shot back, shifting away from anything unearthed from the luggage as if fearing it might cause him to revert back to that man.

Chris shook his head firmly while taking one file to open it to scan its contents to be sure it was the one he wanted. “Uh, okay, no. Mark Pellegrino cannot have that Senate seat,” he said, sighing when he saw both Jensen and Jared about to argue with him. “He’s who your damn father and his racist buddies want in the Senate, Jensen! You were simply a mouthpiece, a tool to make the voters hate you for those views while each hate speech you made, each time you quoted those damn lies, more people poured over into Pellegerino’s camp.

“Right from the moment Richard, as well as Collins and all the money-men behind their campaign of hate, saw how they could control you, it was planned to set you up as the perfect hate monger. Someone who regardless of how many supporters there actually is for those movements could never get elected. Pellegrino, the perfect White Knight for freedom for one and all, would get elected and then at your last public appearance you’d be shot by one of his supporters. In a rage at such utter violence he would switch his views and demand for laws for gays to be registered and anyone with the MPG to be sterilized,” Chris told them seriously, holding out a file to Jared.

“They need you to get him elected but he hasn’t changed his true colors. He’s still as much a bigot and racist as he ever was but he knows he doesn’t have the personality to win,” Justin Hartley remarked. “Even running on a hate campaign, you’re young and even though you spoke like a toneless robot, you’re still winning in the popular vote. But as things heat up, they plan on making you look worse and worse until those people will go over to Pellegrino’s side.”

“The worst case scenario if you didn’t lose enough voters soon, was for you to die by an obsessed fan or that’s the public story and if we’re not fast that’s going to be the story they start to leak to the press,” Chris reported grimly, nodding to the suitcase full of files, docs, photos and more. “People in the grey area of Washington have been watching Pellegrino since he was running for offices in California. They connected him years ago to old man Ackles because his backers are now your backers, so when he got run out of there and he moved to Texas but under a new leaf had people doubting. And then when we ran his financial records we hit an interesting connection with your Dad.”

Jensen had refused to touch anything but he did glance at a few things Jared was looking at. A lot of it was speeches he’d given, some were ones dated to be given down the road. There were transcripts of conversations between Richard Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Pellegrino and several wealthy men behind both camps.

A lot of what Chris and his people had snuck out of the Ackles mansion with him made no sense to Jensen right then but he figured that maybe he had suffered some brain damage during his year of torture and since then. He felt sick to his stomach as what the men were saying registered with him and he pulled Jared’s arm tighter around him while holding his hand tighter.

“Even after destroying or trying to destroy me, my life, brainwashing me to be the perfect son, the perfect mouthpiece for his hate, all I was good for was to get the man he really wanted into office.” he shook his head, knowing he shouldn’t be surprised or hurt but it still did, because up until right then Jensen had always wondered if he hadn’t been gay, if he hadn’t had the extra gene, if his parents would love him. Now he knew the answer and while it hurt, it also pissed him off. “He drags me away from my family, destroys any chance of me ever giving Jared another baby and he still planned to kill me? Seriously?”

“You better tell them the rest of it, Kane,” Mark spoke up grimly. “You already dropped one bombshell on the boy. I doubt if this one will do much more harm but its better they know about that bloody psycho nut that I still think you should’ve let me kill two years ago.”

Chris scowled but knew what the man meant. He just didn’t want to put his foot in his mouth more than he had earlier. He suspected Jensen would know what we was talking about once he started but he wasn’t sure how much he’d shared with Jared yet. And since Jared was already pissed off… Chris didn’t want to make it worse.

“No, not exactly,” he finally said after a long pause, rubbing the back of his neck before taking a huge risk by stepping closer to the bed. Chris saw Jensen tense and Jared merely raised a brow in mild warning but he didn’t get too close; just close enough to look Jensen in the face. “The public would see you get shot. They’d release a press statement saying how you’d struggled bravely for life but the bullet had done irreparable damage and you died with your loving parents and supporters with you. That would be the public story but the truth would be much different,” he waited as Jensen stared at him and then saw the moment when it began to sink in where he was going because he saw his body stiffen. “I’m sorry I couldn’t have slit his throat the first time I realized what was happening, Jensen.”

“Shut up,” Jensen’s voice was low, tight and almost as dead as he felt when he realized what Chris was hinting at. “Are you guessing or do you have proof?” he demanded and started to pull away from Jared; he needed the space because he could already feel his body reacting to too many bad memories.

“I saw and have a copy of the contract he has with Collins, Jensen,” the former bodyguard replied seriously. “He’s getting a weekly paycheck but it’s never been money he’s after. The deal he has with your parents, both of your parents, is he’d run the campaign but when it was over, when you were ‘dead’ to the public eye and Pellegrino was in office, then he’d get his final piece of the prize: you. It’s been you he’s wanted this entire time. And that’s another reason I risked blowing the op to get you the hell out of that house and back to Jared. One of my men inside overheard him speaking to someone about his plans for you and that was it.”

Jared had been trying to split his attention between the files, the men, and Jensen who’d slid off the bed the moment Chris began talking to him. He’d seen the way Jensen’s face had paled, tightened at what Chris was saying. Then the words began to dawn on him and he no longer cared about the files.

“Whoa! Hold on a second here,” he waved the file in his hand, looking between Jensen and Chris. “What the hell are you saying?” he asked, sure he had to be mishearing or misreading what he thought was being said and suggested. “His goddamn old man hated that he’s gay. He hated that so much that he used your no good ass to lure him into opening our door so his goons could kidnap him. He locked him away in some private hospital and made him forget his whole life essentially! His family is anti-gay. Why the hell would you think they’d give Jensen to this asshole in payment? That goes against their principals and crap.”

“Being sold as a slave and a whore, being chained to a bed and raped by men and women working for him doesn’t fall under that heading to my folks, Jay,” Jensen said in a cold, hard tone that was only a few notches away from being as toneless as it had been at the debate; fingers clenching into fists as he stared at his wrists and the scars on them as well as images in his memory. “Or maybe it does since that’s all he sees a homosexual person as: a slave to be used for sexual use and abuse.

“In my case, the first time he let his doctor’s drug me so I couldn’t fight back as they cuffed me to the bed it was because he could and because it’s all I was worth. He said I should be lucky someone like Misha still wanted to use me given what I’d been,” Jensen’s lips curved in a sarcastic smirk but he avoided looking at Jared or any of the men in the bedroom while knowing he needed to get out of there before his memories, and the pain that came with them, pushed him either into himself or into the bathroom to puke as he could feel the phantom hands on him that were often more intrusive then the abuse he could recall happening while locked down in the hospital. “I didn’t understand it then… I thought he meant because of the ‘attack’ they said I’d suffered. Now I see what he meant and why Collins kept saying he knew I enjoyed what he did since it wasn’t the first time I’d been fucked by a man.”

“Jensen…” Jared reached out to touch a tense shoulder only to pull back when Jensen jerked and it suddenly all made sense to him as he recalled what Jensen said earlier about wanting to kiss him but not being able to right then. Now Jared understood and it both enraged and sickened him to think that Jensen’s family had allowed that to happen, encouraged it even. Then his eyes went to slits as he glared at Chris. “You knew that bastard was selling him to some nut? You knew he was being hurt in that house and you did nothing?” he demanded in a low growl as Jensen suddenly bolted from the bedroom with a rushed comment about needing to get away from the memories. “You knew his so-called manager was raping him and you didn’t try to stop it? Hang on while I check on him and make sure our son doesn’t wander in so I can kill you, Kane.”

“Jared, it’s not exactly as simple as that,” Chris tried only to sigh when his head snapped back as a fist nailed him in the jaw before the angry journalist stormed out of the bedroom. “And this is why I didn’t want to tell them about that little issue yet, Sheppard,” he muttered sourly. “I knew I’d end up bleeding and I need those two to work with us on this or else this whole mission will collapse.”

“Yeah, but when this gets back to Texas you know, if Collins is as off his rocker as what we’ve heard, that he could be the biggest threat to Ackles and Padalecki than either the old man or Pellegrino,” Mark Sheppard remarked as he and Justin followed the grumbling lead agent out of the bedroom and downstairs to where men could be seen patching broken glass and replacing the doors that had been broken. “He’s not going to let Ackles go easily, Kane.”

Chris realized that. He also realized if they couldn’t convince Jensen to do what was needed to head this mess off? That a lot more people could be endangered.

Jared was furious with the men for letting Jensen stay in harm’s way for so long all for the sake of their mission, whatever the hell it was; he’d forgotten to actually find out why the government or whoever had put this job together and what their ultimate goal had been or would be now.

He was furious with Jensen’s family for not only what they’d done to him by taking him away from him and Nicky, for what they caused to happen by locking Jensen away in a hospital for a year until they’d turned him into someone they could control, but also for then turning around and letting some asshole and whoever else hurt and use him.

Jared was also furious with himself for not pushing more, for not trying to find or make Jensen see him or for not going to some kind of authority for help after he’d been threatened. But right then he was pushing all of that aside to calm himself down as he headed downstairs to try to locate Jensen, only to find that he didn’t have to go far.

He’d feared Jensen might pull away from him since he’d known the man hadn’t wanted to tell him something that he clearly remembered and now he thought he knew what that something had been. When he’d left the bedroom like he had, it scared Jared. As he got to the bottom step, he could see Chad as well as Gen standing just outside the kitchen door but still close enough to keep an eye on the room.

Stepping to the door, Jared relaxed some and nodded to ask for some privacy as he walked in to see Jensen sitting at the table with Nicky on his lap sharing a bowl of strawberry ice cream. Identical green eyes looked up to see him but while Nicky’s were light and happy looking, Jensen’s were shadowed and worried as he watched Jared as if waiting for his reaction.

“We’ll make this right, sugar,” Jared murmured after walking over to bend down and press his lips gently to Jensen’s forehead and then to the top of their son’s head before pulling a chair out. “So? Can I share some of that or is this just between you two?” he asked with a teasing smile as Jensen’s hand pulled the bowl closer. “Okay then. I’ll get my own because if I do I can add chocolate syrup.”

“Daddy!” the little boy made gagging noises while wrinkling his nose in distaste much like Jensen was doing at the same time. “That’s gross!”

“So says the kid who eats his Brussel sprouts with ketchup when he won’t eat tomatoes,” Jared replied with a snort only to shake his head when Jensen started to speak. “I know, I know. You don’t like tomatoes either. Our child gets his appetite from you, Jensen.”

Jensen’s smile was a little bit more relaxed until he heard the voices from outside the kitchen and he tensed, only to look when Jared’s hand closed over the one that had clenched on the table. “Jared, I…”

“We’ll talk about it but right now we’re going to eat ice cream and then you and Nicky are going to bed while I make sure the house is secure. In the morning he can spend the day with Samantha and _Deputy_ Cortese while you and I talk to these guys and see just what is going on or what they want from us,” Jared interrupted, squeezing the shaking hand tightly. “Jen… I swear no matter what you do or what happens I will be here with you and for you. Nothing or no one will hurt either you or Nicky.”

“Nemo can protect us, Daddy,” Nicky said as he finished his last bit of ice cream while rubbing his eyes tiredly but didn’t want to risk sleeping in case his Daddy left him again. “He’s brave and tough and…”

“Unless it’s against squirrels,” Chad put in from the door, ducking back out as Jared threw a dish cloth at his head. “What? It’s true! That damn dog’s scared of the squirrel in your backyard… though to be honest so am I. That critter has really good aim with those nuts.”

Jared wanted to groan while reminding himself to reassure Jensen that the local Sheriff really did know what he was doing despite appearances right that moment. “Do you want to try to sleep?” he asked Jensen. He could tell he was still in shock from earlier but also sensed he was leery of sleeping. “You need to, Jen. You’re still hurt and then mess tonight didn’t help any. You and Nicky can sleep in the big bed while I…”

“Jared, you both should take your son and go to bed,” Chris spoke from the door but didn’t make a motion to enter the room, especially when he saw Jensen’s arm tighten around the little boy who wrapped his arms around him in return while glaring at Chris with his little lips pursed in a hard scowl. “Regardless of how it might look or what you both think of me right now, the job of my team is to keep you all safe. We will do that,” he said firmly, adding. “Go on to bed, get some rest and you can grill me and the boys when you wake up. You can also call that editor of yours to come over because something has to get out there… and soon.”

“You expect me to trust you to guard my family after what you allowed to be done to it in the first place?” Jensen snorted, tucking the little boy safely into his arms and seeing Jared smile at the way Nicky seemed to allow it from him when if Jared had tried that, their independent son would have been pitching fits.

“No, I don’t expect you or Jared to trust me,” Chris replied. “I know I fu… screwed up, Jensen. I know the things I’ve done caused you more pain, more grief, and more lost time than anything anyone else save for your father has done. And I’m not asking for forgiveness or trust… I know those things are a long time in coming but please… if you won’t trust me, then trust these guys,” he jerked a thumb at the men with him before looking at a glaring Chad. “The Sheriff can stay as well. You need to sleep. You all need that.”

Jared caught Chad’s eyes to see his friend nod that he’d be there all night. It wasn’t that he thought the men would not protect the house but he just felt better to know someone he trusted fully would also be there.

“Jensen, let me take you and Nicky to bed?” he asked quietly, not missing the sharp look and guessing the other reason Jensen was uneasy. “I’ll sit in the chair beside the bed. I know or think I know now why you might not want me too close while you’re sleeping but they’re right; you’ve lost blood and got hit a few times on top of being hurt when you got here. Sugar, I promise you’re safe.”

“Daddy?” Nicky cuddled closer to Jensen, his eyes looking heavy. “Can we go to sleep?” he yawned while looking up to touch Jensen’s bruised face with light fingers. “Sleepy now.”

Jensen looked into his son’s eyes before meeting Jared’s and then tossing his ex-friend a hard glare before picking Nicky up in his arms, ignoring his injured leg in favor of not putting the child down yet as he stood up. “If anything happens to either of them tonight or anytime until I can get rid of you, spy, Fed, whatever the hell you are? I will kick your ass.”

“Daddy, that’s a dime in the swear jar,” Nicky told him and then added. “I can walk to bed. You’re boo-boo hurts you and Nemo, Daddy and I don’t want you to fall and get hurt more.”

Jared chuckled but caught Jensen’s elbow while tossing Chris a look to not touch if he valued his life as Jensen slowly, hesitantly eased the child to the floor. The puppy trotted along with him up the steps after he said goodnight to Chad and Gen, who he still thought was just a Deputy, before running up the steps since he liked it when he got to sleep in the big bed.

“There will be enough in that jar to put him through medical school by the time he’s 18,” Jared said, watching Nicky disappear at the top of the stairs.

Something about that saddened Jensen. He wasn’t sure if it was because it made him think how many years he’d lost or the thought of how much Jared had given and would give up to give their child a good education when his family just blew through money on campaigns of hate.

He was tired. He hurt and was still weak from the beating back in Texas but he still wasn’t sure he could risk sleeping now that too many memories had been brought back that night. All he wanted right then was to get off his leg and change out of the bloody sweat pants.

“Jared? Can… can I borrow another pair of your sweats for tonight?” he asked, suddenly stumbling only to feel a strong arm catch him and knew on instinct it was Jared, wondering if that was why he didn’t freeze or jerk like he normally might have.

“Yeah, you can take anything you want, sugar,” Jared assured him while tossing Chris a hard look to shut up when the man opened his mouth to say he had clothes to wear. “I had Sam pick you up some jeans and other stuff but you can look at those when you wake up. Go on up and change. I’ll be up in a minute,” he kept his hand on Jensen’s arm until he felt steadier but still felt him shake a little too much for his liking as he slowly, painfully headed up the steps. Then Jared was turning to eye the men in his house. “You better be ready to tell me who the hell you work for, what the hell game you were playing with him and how the goddamn hell I can stop them from hurting him,” he growled and then stalked up the steps.

Matt Cohen was mostly a behind the scenes man as well as the medic. Since he wasn’t sure his services wouldn’t be called on again that night, he’d stayed around. Now he looked between the smirking Sheriff and his clearly unhappy team leader. “I’d say that’s one pissed off Texan,” he mused, then adding with a grin, “I also think you’d better call the boss and tell her to get ready to talk to him to explain this before he rips your throat out. Or the other one does.”

Chris slumped on the sofa to scrub both hands over his face. “Someone get DC on the phone and Sheriff, I know you’ve got one Deputy that’s safe but I hope you’re sure about the rest of them because before this mess is over you’re gonna need them. And I’m going to need names on the people in this town Jared’s closest to so Justin can run them. I’m not taking any chances with them now.”

Jared didn’t like having strangers in his house but he understood that right now there would be a lot of strangers in their lives until this was settled, one way or another. Knocking softly before entering the Master bedroom, he noticed both Nicky and Nemo spread out on the bed which made him smile.

Looking up and over had him meeting Jensen’s eyes as he stood in the door to the bathroom. He noticed he’d changed into a clean pair of sweatpants and this time he’d chosen one of Jared’s older, worn out but soft sweatshirts. “I’ll move these two over so you can lie down and get some sleep,” he said quietly, knowing Nicky wouldn’t wake up once he was sleeping fully and Nemo was the same.

“Will you sleep with us, Jared?” Jensen asked, making himself approach the bed to catch Jared’s wrist after he’d moved the sleeping child while giving the dog a nudge until, with a huff, Nemo crawled off to lay on the bottom of the bed but not getting on the floor like normal. “Please, Jay? I… I want you with us tonight. I… I need you here with us… with me.”

Jared turned to look at him for a moment, judging what would be best. He didn’t know everything that had happened to Jensen; he suspected now that he knew some but was still going to give the man the time and space to tell him more at his own speed. “Are you sure?” he asked. “I want to, Jen. I want to hold you and Nicky, I want to sleep with you and wake up with you but I don’t want to rush you or make you feel…”

“I need to be able to feel safe tonight so I can sleep, so I can face whatever comes later today,” Jensen sat down on the bed to stretch out slowly, careful of his leg when he moved to his side as Nicky, in his sleep, turned into his chest with one hand laying under his chin while his other curled in Jensen’s shirt. He held out a hand to Jared. “I know I owe you explanations about what I haven’t told you and… I will. I… God, I so want you to shut me up the way you used to,” he whispered when a finger touched his lips.

“I want that too but I won’t kiss you until you say I can and I also won’t push you for details unless you want to tell me,” he brushed his knuckles over Jensen’s cheek while laying on Nicky’s other side so the little boy was between them. Jared was close enough that he could slide one arm over so as Jensen settled he could rest his head on it. His other hand touched Jensen’s and it was held as long lashes slowly drifted closed as Jensen fell to sleep.

Jared was tired, his body aching and sore, but he lay awake for as long as he could to just stare at Jensen’s face and then the peaceful one of the little boy between them. “I love you both, Jensen,” he whispered. “I love you both and no matter what happens we will get through this regardless of what happens or who tries to stop us. They won’t take you away from us again,” he vowed and was determined to find out from Kane or his people just what did need to happen and how could he protect his family. He’d fight anyone to give both Jensen and their son a peaceful, happy family. He just needed to find out how and who he was fighting.

**TBC**


	10. Chapter 10

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter 10**

“Is this going to work?” Jared Padalecki demanded as he struggled not to pace the small office in his house which was now crammed with too many people and too many cameras and audio devices for his comfort. He wanted to kick everyone out and call ‘do-over’ on this plan that he hadn’t had faith in right from the time it was put forth the afternoon after he and Jensen woke up.

Jared had woken up to his ribs and head killing him. He seriously considered dragging a pillow over his head to smother the noise of little hammers in his head or whoever was lightly teasing a finger over the side of his ear, which had always been a sensitive spot for him. Then he heard a soft little giggle and lay still as he understood what was happening.

“He wakes up when Nemo licks his face,” Nicky Padalecki reported as he giggled while watching his other Daddy wink at him as he very lightly brushed the tip of his finger along the outside of his Daddy’s ear.

“Yeah, but he used to wake up for me this way too,” Jensen Ackles remembered another way to wake Jared but he didn’t think he was ready for that yet and it also wasn’t something he could do with a seven year old and a puppy in the room; so he settled for this way.

Jensen had woken up for the first time in years that he could remember not being foggy, or confused, or scared to open his eyes. This time when he opened them he heard himself laugh because he was looking into his own eyes as Nicky was sitting up and seemed to be counting out his freckles.

Waking up to his son and a sleeping Jared gave Jensen a burst of warm thoughts as he flashed back to when this little boy had been a tiny wiggly infant and would take naps with him or when he’d cry at night and Jensen would lay him on his chest while Jared held them both.

Now they were trying to wake Jared up without letting the puppy lick him awake since Jensen also recalled the man wasn’t always easy to wake up so he resorted to the way he used to do it. When he saw a twitch of lips, fighting not to smile, he knew Jared was awake and just pretending to sleep.

“Of course I guess we could let Nemo lick… Hi there,” he smiled as hazel eyes opened and Jensen saw the flecks of golds and blue like he knew were there when Jared was relaxed and happy. “Did we wake you?”

“Hmm, yeah, but I’d rather you wake me than the dog,” Jared yawned, pushing up to an elbow to reach out on instinct to touch Jensen’s face without thinking and felt the instant flinch. Before he could pull back his hand however, it was caught and held where it was.

“I said give me time, not stop touching me,” Jensen whispered as he let himself lean into the touch on his face, needing to learn how to stop letting what happened to him in Texas keep him from trusting again, from trusting Jared again. “Nicky’s belly’s growling and I think from the extra noise downstairs people are waiting on us.”

Jared had really hoped all of the night before had been a bad dream but as he took in the new bruises on Jensen’s face and how he was favoring his one leg, he knew it wasn’t. So that meant he had a house filled with either Feds or something, since he never had gotten a straight answer on that one yet; but he intended to.

“Well, let’s go see about breakfast… or lunch depending on what time it is and…” Jared began when he suddenly frowned as he realized Nicky was dressed in his play clothes already. “Nicky? Have you been up already?”

“Yep!” The child smiled while crawling over Jared to drop to the floor where the excited puppy waited with his leash. “I got up and got dressed myself, then Chad fixed me waffles while growling at those scary men who don’t look as scary now, and now Sam’s here and she’s taking me and Nemo to the beach with Gen!”

“Okay, I didn’t know all of that,” Jensen frowned and realized he needed to learn how to be a parent again because he hadn’t even noticed the change in clothes. “You ate already?”

As Nicky smiled fully, Jared chuckled. “He’s hungry all the time so the growling belly is not an automatic thing to mean a certain meal,” he explained while standing with a wince and watched as Jensen did so more slowly but saw him nod that he was okay. “Sometimes I think he’s a bottomless pit.”

“Is it safe for him to leave the house without you or…” Jensen wasn’t sure he wanted to let the boy out of his sight but he also didn’t want him around to possibly overhear too much either.

“Sam can take care of him, plus if the deputy is going I’m sure he’ll be safe,” Jared fought not to roll his eyes at calling the young woman that given he knew she might be currently employed as that but was clearly more.

Stepping off the bottom step to look around showed him that the damage to his house appeared to have been repaired completely; both doors had been replaced and he noticed men exchanging the shattered glass with new panes in one of the windows. Looking around also showed him that only Chris Kane and the two men Jared had dealt with in Texas remained inside the home along with a still angry Sheriff and a furious Samantha Ferris who gave him a stern look that promised a severe lecture later for not calling her last night.

Now the woman handed a picnic basket to Gen Cortese while grabbing Nicky’s jacket and reaching down for Nemo’s leash. “I’ll keep him with me until tonight unless you call me,” she told Jared while looking between him and Jensen, seeing the new bruises and tossing Chad a look of disgust. “This had better be straightened out and if I see one more bruise on either of them I will be slapping one of you,” she told the men sternly and without a trace of fear. “Let’s go hunt some shells for you to bring back, sweetie.”

“I’ll bring you and Daddy back something, Daddy!” Nicky hugged both men and then started to run to the door only to stop, give a serious frown that was similar to Jensen’s and came back to look up at Jensen. “Daddy? You’ll be here when I come home, right?” he asked, worry plain on his face.

Jensen swallowed thickly, kneeling down so he’d be on the boy’s level, despite the pain in his leg. “I am not leaving you again, Nicky,” he said in a voice deep with emotions he’d also once again have to learn to share. “I might have to go somewhere for a day but if I do… you and your Daddy will come with me. No one will ever take me from you again, okay?” he brushed a hand over his son’s hair to see dimples come out as the little boy hugged him tightly before running off for a day of childish innocence with Sam and Gen.

The moment the door closed, Jensen’s expression changed from soft to hard as he lifted his eyes to pin his former friend and as Jared helped him to stand, the graze on his leg reminded him it was there. “I want to know who you work for, who sent you into Texas, what your job was, how I fit into it if I did at all or if that just happened to be a secondary thing for you and your conscious, and finally… what the hell do I have to do to get rid of you and close this chapter of my life,” he said in a firm, hard voice.

“Alright, I’ll tell you what I can,” Chris Kane nodded. He’d spoken to his bosses up in DC to tell them what was happening and to see how they wanted to proceed with the operation or what they wanted him to reveal. He’d been surprised at the response.

“No, you’ll tell me everything or you can go to Hell and I’ll take this public on my own,” Jensen snapped. He still hated this man for his betrayal years ago and now he hated him more for knowing he’d been inside his father’s inner circle for four years and had done nothing until just recently to make any move to help him. “Tell me something, Kane. If Jared hadn’t shown up at the debate that day, if he hadn’t started the ball rolling so to speak, would you have done anything? Or would I still be a tool in my father’s master plan and about to be handed off to that sick ass son of a bitch?” He demanded only to smirk when he didn’t get an immediate response and his eyes weren’t met. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Jared frowned, watching this take place and then it clicked and he went for the man’s throat. “Seriously? You would’ve left him there even knowing what they were planning? Really?”

“This operation has been going on for several years, Jared; five in planning and then four with me and some others inside. I couldn’t risk it or what we were trying to do, even to help him,” Chris replied and then waited for the fist to come to his jaw again. “I wanted to. From the moment I first saw the files on what they’d done to him and what I saw being done, I wanted to drag Jensen out of that hell hole. But I couldn’t risk it… so I had to hope the news of his campaign spread far enough to be seen… by you.”

“You goddamn son of a… come again?” Jared had just been about to put his fist through the man’s face when his arm was grabbed and he stared at Chris. “You thought I’d see it? Or see him or that campaign? You wanted that to happen? Why?”

Chris took a cautious step back as he walked to straddle a chair by the coffee table where the files, photos, and other things had been laid out. “Jared, from the minute I was given the files and learned what my mistakes had caused to happen, I’d been checking out what you were up to and where you were at,” he said seriously and watched as Jensen sat down on the far side of the sofa, away from him to slowly take a file with his name on it while Jared sat down beside him. “It’s not easy to make sure a Texas senate race, even one as hate filled as this one was made to be, gets enough national exposure to catch any attention in a small North Carolina town, kid. But we also couldn’t very well have someone show up on your door and say hey, pay attention to this… though that was one suggestion once I figured out the ultimate game plan.”

“He’s going to kill you,” Mark Sheppard said from across the room where he was sitting munching on a bowl of snacks with Chad while Justin Hartley was doing something on a computer. “Try not to because if you die that puts me in charge and no one wants to let me do any of my suggestions.”

“If we could nuke the town without wiping out the State I’m sure the bosses would have signed off on that plan, Mark,” Chris shot back while swearing he was being a lot choosier with his teammates on his next assignment. “And yes, if you get an open shot you can shoot Collins for all I care now.”

Jared glared at the man. “So who and why is someone in the government looking at a Senate race in Texas anyway?” he asked as he kept one eye on Chris and his other on Jensen who seemed to be getting more tense as he read the files. “Chad? Call Jeff and ask him to come over,” he called to the local Sheriff.

“It wasn’t so much the race but the people involved behind the scenes that attracted attention,” Chris replied, reaching over to flip open a file to show a list of names that Jared’s research told him were backers on both campaigns. “On the surface, these people look like upstanding citizens for the most part. A few are open racists who support the various anti-gay, anti-MPG groups but the ones who look like normal, upstanding supporters are actually the ones who sent off the red flags back home. And they’re in both campaigns.

“When it became plain what Ackles was up to, what his master plan with Pellegrino was, it was decided to go in deep; ground up and learn what we could to get enough proof, evidence, and maybe a little dirt to use when it was time to put the heat on while also finding a way to keep Pellegrino from winning that seat,” Chris watched both men as Jensen seemed to pale before Jared took the file away and slipped his arm around him; he already  suspected which file he’d picked up. “Jensen, I’m…”

“Don’t say it,” Jensen ground out through clenched teeth, gaze locked on the hand that Jared was holding rather than looking a Chris. “I don’t want to hear your apology or your excuses. Maybe you were trying to make up for screwing me over but since you didn’t do crap until recently, I’m sure not seeing it. Sorry if I sound a bit bitter about being made a scapegoat so your ‘bigger picture’ could happen.”

Jared blinked at the words and the tone. He knew Jensen had a snarky side before but this was a lot more, and he didn’t blame him. He understood that not only had Chris once been a trusted friend but to learn that he probably would’ve let Jensen’s family basically sell him to someone as payment for running a fake campaign was a hard pill to swallow.

It would also be hard to forgive except Jared also understood they needed to work with these men and that meant tempering Jensen’s hate and betrayal a little… as much as he hated it.

He murmured soft words against Jensen’s ear, felt the man tense and saw his scowl at him before leaning more into his arms to consider the words before finally looking up and motioning to the stuff on the coffee table. “So what did you expect me or Jared to do with all this stuff?” he demanded. “Also, since you snuck this out with me you must have known not only would my father be pissed that I got away but also a good bit of stuff I’m sure he and his buddies don’t want leaked to the public. So you intentionally put Jared and Nicky in danger by sending me here.”

“I knew Mark and Justin’s team were heading this way, as well as the fact that Gen had been put into the Sheriff’s office. They weren’t in danger,” Chris argued but then sighed. “If I say I had to let the jackasses get into the house and make a play you’ll just want to hit me again but…”

“Okay, so before either of these lads decide to kill you, how about answering his question about how to put a stop to this,” Mark spoke up while looking at his phone. “Cohen says there’s a guy outside claiming to be the tall one’s editor. He wants to know if he can let him in or shoot him?”

As Jared’s head jerked up and his mouth opened to yell Chris groaned. “Let him in and tell Cohen to stop making this outfit look more like an ass than you guys already have. Ignore them. There’s a reason they’re the back-up team.”

Jared decided not to reply to that as Jensen made an under the breath comment that had him choking back a laugh even as Jeffrey Dean Morgan was coming in the door. A single look told Jared his editor was both concerned and upset as he stopped in the door to the living room to take a long, skilled look around the room at the men before rocking back on his heels.

“Well, I guess sending you to Texas for a political scandal turned out to be something a lot more,” the ex-Marine mused as he paid special attention to the young man sitting next to Jared to see that Jensen Ackles looked a lot different right now than he had in that election photo or the videos he’d seen of him. “Who wants to give me a cliff note version of this while I look through this and see what I can get into the evening edition and also call in some favors with a friend at the Associated Press?”

Jared introduced Jeff to a wary Jensen but kept his arm around him as he did so to make sure the older man understood that this was not the cold, hard, deceitful politician he’d sent him to Texas to expose. “Jeff, this is Jensen,” he said while looking between them while adding. “This is Nicky’s father and the man who is still the love of my life.”

Jeff had been eyeing the other men in the house, getting a feel of just what he’d involved Jared in since it was plain Chad’s complaints of black ops were right on as the former Marine got the feel from these men. Then he turned his gaze back to look into green eyes of a man who returned his handshake a little hesitantly, as if Jensen wasn’t sure how he’d react or take him.

“When Jared demanded I give him that assignment and he explained to me why he wanted it... He told me that the man he’d known wouldn’t say the things being said in that campaign,” Jeff began slowly, taking Jensen’s stance, his eyes, and how he stood close to Jared into consideration before offering a slow warm smile. “I guess he was right. What do you need from me and my paper, boys?”

Jeff began looking through everything brought out of Texas while Chris and his friends explained their plan and what their boss in DC wanted done to a silent Jensen and a grim Jared.

“Jensen needs to continue the campaign but he needs to come out to the public. He needs to explain to them what happened to him, how he was used, and he needs to turn his platform a full 360 degrees,” Chris was saying as Justin showed him something on the computer that had him snarling. “Damn! They’ve made some press release that Jensen’s been kidnapped by his enemies and his parents are making a teary appeal for his safe return. Gag me, please,” he looked up. “I know you don’t want the seat in the Senate. I know you don’t want to do this campaign but I also can’t let that asshole Pellegrino get in. The only way to make sure you, Jared, and your family will be safe is to face them, face this, and confront them. Now.”

“I guess I can’t hope that they’ll let me go,” Jensen sighed, slumping on the couch to drag both hands through his short hair with a curse. “Damn it! I just want to live my life, Kane! I want to live with Jared and our son. I want to rebuild what you and my family took from me. Why can’t I do that?”

“Because you know too much and they will never let you go until you show you’re not afraid of them,” Chris returned firmly, leaning up in his chair to stare into his former friend’s eyes. “You want to stop your Dad? You want to stop Pellegrino? You want to make sure Collins goes down and can’t hurt you or your family? Then work with me on this, go in front of a camera, make a speech like you want to make, show these people what you believe in and stand for.

“My boss will arrange for a meeting with the head of elections board in Austin. My boss will be your new manager and you will never be alone. No one will come close to you or those you love. You can make your speech via live camera from here and it’ll feed into the press conference your Dad and Pellegrino have agreed to give together tomorrow,” the agent knew he was pushing but felt he had to and would take Jared’s wrath as it came. “If you give a speech as yourself, if you lay it all out for the public, if you shove it down their throats what you know, what you remember and what you have on all of them? You will win that seat. It will push buttons and the moment they tip their hand, our people move in and handle it. Then you can retire and the State will hold an honest election.”

Jensen pushed to his feet to walk a little bit away. He did not want to see his family. He did not want to see his so-called ex-manager. He didn’t want to see anyone from back in Texas. He just wanted to stay hidden with Jared and Nicky and try to rebuild his life. That’s what he wanted but in his heart, Jensen knew he couldn’t have that until he _did_ confront his past, and that meant confronting all of those who’d hurt him, used him, abused him.

He picked up one of Nicky’s baby toys that had been sitting on the mantle, closing his eyes with a soft smile as he remembered buying it. It had been the first soft plushy toy he’d bought when the doctor had revealed he was pregnant. Jensen had presented the toy and the sonogram to Jared and then had watched his lover’s confusion turn to wondrous awe and joy.

“If I do what you want, if I try to continue with this damn campaign, if I… if I agree to confront my father and help you to take down both crooked campaigns… can you promise me that Nicky and Jared will be safe?” Jensen turned to stare at the men in general but Chris in particular. “Can you swear to me that what happened to me before won’t happen again? And can you still prosecute on what they had done to me?” he demanded. “I want something in writing to promise protection for them before I talk to anyone or do anything. I want your word and I want you to understand that if you lie to me again, just to get me to do this, and my son or Jared come to harm, I will kill you”

“I promise all of that and you’ll have that in writing within the hour,” Chris agreed, standing up to approach Jensen slowly to hold out a hand. “I can’t take it back, Jensen. I can’t give you back the last seven years of either your life or seeing your kid grow up, but I can give you the small satisfaction of seeing your parents’ faces and all their racist buddies when you turn the tables on them. And yes, since there is no statute of limitation on hate crimes and both forced sterilization and illegal imprisonment for the sake of re-educating a gay man are considered hate crimes, we will make sure every damn person involved pays in some way.”

Jensen stared into Chris’s eyes for a long moment and then he glanced over at Jared as if seeking his opinion. “I know what I should do, Jay. I know what needs done but…”

“The first time we met was in grade school when, despite being a year younger, you beat the crap out of a couple older kids who were bullying me because I was poor,” Jared began, approaching Jensen to let his hands rest on tense shoulders. “You have stood up for me so many times. I will stand by you now. I’ve told you that no matter what you choose to do that I will have your back and I will, Jen. You’re not a coward and that’s why your Dad did this, because he hated to have you stand up to him. As much as I want to argue with Kane, I can’t. They will keep coming after you until you make a stand.”

“Call your boss,” Jensen said on a sigh. “Make your arrangements for this live camera thing and to get my platform changed officially with the election board. I’ll do what I have to,” he added and then let himself be held tightly and held on back while silently praying he hadn’t just did more damage to their family.

The rest of that day was spent listening to Jeff growl and curse about ‘sadists who needed taken out and shot for what they’d done’ to Jensen and wanted to do to other innocent people.

“I knew something was rotten but never would’ve guessed things were this bad. And I never saw this coming with Pellegrino, even though I never liked the man before,” the newspaper editor said after he gathered up copies of what it was agreed he’d use for release immediately. “Going public will protect him because once he does, once it gets out what happened, if anything would happen to him now? All hell will break loose.”

“That’s the plan,” Jared muttered as he walked his editor out of the house to notice the street looked quiet, no sign of anyone watching it. But he knew there were agents all around because Justin Hartley had pointed them out to both him and Jensen so they’d know. “You were military once… this is going to get ugly, isn’t it?” he asked; showing the concern he hadn’t let himself show around Jensen.

Jeff paused before getting in his car to look back at the young man. He read through all the files and evidence as well as took a look at things Jared hadn’t seen it. He’d also spoken to a few of those men inside along with his own inside sources back in Washington to know just how bad and ugly this was now and how much worse it could get. “This is beyond military ugly, Jared,” he said grimly, seeing a car pulling up into the drive and deciding he needed to get back to the paper and to work. “There is nothing uglier than a political scandal that could ruin a lot of rich people. These people will play dirty and they will come at him hard once they see that he’s serious about not backing down. You watch yourself, son.”

“Thanks,” Jared watched his boss drive off and then turned to eye the long black car in his driveway, guessing this was who Chris had been talking to earlier when he saw the man come out of the house.

Chad told him later that the Sheriff’s office had been getting calls from both concerned neighbors and then other more direct calls, from people who wouldn’t identify themselves, demanding to know things about him.

“The locals they’re reassuring that all is fine and the other assholes are getting either hung-up on or transferred to some little blonde that showed up and promptly took over the main switchboard and who shuts people down ruthlessly but without breaking her smile, dude,” the Sheriff reported that night after he’d called to check in on his friend since he had to leave to handle actual crime in their town. “These people are scary, Jared.”

Jared was torn between thinking the people he was now depending on to protect his family were both scary and a little insane as he turned from the kitchen window to the living room where Jensen was sitting tensely on the sofa talking and listening to the tall, lovely looking woman with long red hair who’d arrived that afternoon with a warm smile for them even as she shut down a grousing Mark with a sharp snap to her tone.

“Call me if anything or anyone turns up, Chad,” he said and hung up. It was odd to not hear Nicky or the puppy but Sam had offered a sleepover and despite wanting to be with them, the little boy also loved to stay the night with Sam. It was even better since Gen would be there and Chad was going to swing by so Nicky thought he got to have an awesome slumber party and promised he’d be home to spend Daddy time the next day.

It killed him to be out of the room but Jared understood that Jensen was having a Skype call through to Austin to the high ranking officials who would help make everything official while keeping it hushed until the following day when he made his speech. Everyone knew it would be better for Jensen to do this in person, but there was no way that would happen until after he broke ties with his ‘campaign’, announced his new one, and also challenged his opponent to face him and the charges he would be leveling at a speech in Austin the following weekend.

“Mr. Ackles… Jensen, I want to offer you the board’s as well as the State of Texas’s deepest apologies for what you’ve suffered through,” the older woman on the screen was saying sadly. “I personally knew how much your father hated and how deep his beliefs ran when we banned him from ever running for any office, but it never once occurred to us that he’d stoop to this level. You will have the full backing of our office as you make this change and everything will be ready. In fact, I will personally be on hand to bring your transmission online and to make sure it doesn’t get cut off.” She finished before the call disconnected.

“No, Matt and Justin will be there to make sure that doesn’t happen,” Chris muttered from beside him as he stepped back into the living room. “Those bastards are in for one hell of a shock. I… also want you to consider keeping the kid home from school for a few weeks; tutored of course so he doesn’t fall behind.”

Jared had been thinking about that. He wasn’t foolish enough to think anyone involved in this wouldn’t come after Jensen once he made his reveal. He also knew Richard Ackles and knew the bastard wouldn’t care if Nicky was a child or his grandchild, technically. All he’d see would be a weapon to use against his son and he’d take that in a second.

He just didn’t want to scare his son by keeping him home from school. “Let’s just see what happens. Jensen and I’ll sit him down to try to explain it to him because he won’t understand why he can’t go to school and before you say it, yeah, I get it that he shouldn’t tell all his friends who his father is yet,” he smirked while shooting Chris a dark look. “I think most of this town has figured that out by what came out after I was at the debate, don’t you?”

“Jared?” Jensen had looked up and toward him once the Skype call was completed. “Alaina says they can set up a camera here in the house if it was okay with you. Is it?” he asked hopefully since he didn’t look forward to doing this in a studio with more people watching him.

“Sure, of course it is, sugar,” Jared moved to the sofa to sit on the edge and felt Jensen immediately reach for his arm while he glanced at the woman. “This will work, right?”

Alaina Huffman had been in the secret side of government work since she got out of college. She had done every type of spy or black op work to be had until she took this position.

Now she was mostly desk work and politics, which she very much enjoyed. She also still enjoyed being able to bring ruthless assholes to their knees like this operation would. From the moment it had crossed their desk, she’d longed for the day when she could finally see Mark Pellegrino and Richard Ackles, as well as Misha Collins, brought down.

Her desk had thick folders on all three men. She knew she hadn’t given Chris nearly half the data she could’ve on any of them but had known if she had, her hotheaded agent would’ve blown his cover in the first month and they needed Chris and his men to stay under as long as possible.

Alaina had known it was time to move the operation into full swing so when the signal had come that Chris was calling the op and that he’d pulled out from his cover in order to protect Jensen finally, she’d been only too pleased to take to the field once more to act as Jensen’s campaign manager and looked forward to hopefully having a chance to scratch the eyes out of his former one.

She also adored seeing how well someone like Jensen, someone who’d been through so much and had basically been made to forget, and to remember so much so soon, appeared to be healing with the love and support of his once and hopefully future boyfriend.

As Jared sat down beside him, the woman tapped one of her long red nails on the notepad she’d been writing in to make notes of what needed to be done before the following day. “Jensen, I know we’re throwing an awful lot at you at one time but there is one other thing that I want to discuss. While it’s a stretch, it would offer you another layer of protection,” she began slowly, unsure if this was the right thing to do or not given that Jensen and Jared had just been back with one another for really less than 72 hours. “The legal team I work with brought up a small loophole that they feel your parents could use once backed into a corner, or even Collins since he has a legal contract essentially for you even though buying another human being has been illegal in this country for a long time except…”

“Except in Texas a man or woman who is considered damaged or has been sterilized isn’t always considered a free person if their legal guardian can prove mental incapacity,” Jensen finished for her, lips curving in a slow, hard, sarcastic smile. “I remember the laws, Ms. Huffman. It’s why I didn’t come out as gay until I was 21 and out from under my parents control then. Now they can try to use my hospital records to get me labeled as incompetent,” he nodded his understanding. “But if they did that, it would also bring up the questions of if I’m so incompetent then why did they have me running for a Senate seat?”

“That is very true,” she nodded, impressed that a man who her people once believed was a mere trained zombie was obviously still very smart despite some minor things that she’d noticed upon meeting Jensen. “The other thing they could try to use is the contract with Collins. Jensen, please… sit down.”

Jensen had tensed and went to shoot to his feet so he could move away from her and any mention of that man, his contract, or the memories it brought back to him but froze when her fingers closed over his wrist. “Let go.”

He’d discovered that he could be touched by Jared and by their son but if anyone else touched him, even casually, Jensen froze and felt the need to fight back out of a fear he knew wouldn’t go away soon.

“Jensen, it’s okay,” Jared made no move to touch his tense friend yet but he did shoot Chris a look to stay back as Alaina moved her hand and slowly Jensen sat back down. “Hear her out, okay? We’re not going to do anything to let that sociopath near you but you need to take a breath. I’m right here.”

“I know but you don’t know what he…” Jensen chewed his lip but was still unable to tell Jared about that horror yet. “What… what about him?” he asked tightly.

“Would you be able to pretend to be married to Jared?” Alaina heard a choking cough come from somewhere but chose to ignore that for the moment to meet wide eyes as she hurried to explain. “Justin would have to forge the license and everything to make it look like you two were secretly married before your son was born; that you were married already before you were kidnapped. This way if you and Jared are married, it would be harder for your father or Collins to stake a claim because Jared’s claim as your husband would be taken as first by any courts… not that it would get that far, darling.”

Jensen stared at her and then at Jared. “You… you want Jared and I to pretend that we’re married?” he blinked at her nod but couldn’t look next to him, fearing the horrified shock he might see at the crazy plan. “You can’t ask him to do that. I… I mean I know I love him still and he says he loves me, and we love Nicky but it’s been seven years and I have a lotta baggage coming with me emotionally. He’d be crazy to want to marry me for real, much less for pretend and… huh?” he felt fingers turn his face without even realizing. In his near panic at Jared’s reaction to the plan, he’d begun to hyperventilate.

Turning he saw calm hazel eyes looking right into his while Jared’s lips curved into a slow smile. “Jay, you…” he started to say but stopped when a finger touched his lips.

“Stay right here and I’ll be right back,” Jared murmured to him. He bolted up the steps and was back down in less than two minutes with something closed in his hand. “Do you remember all those extra hours I was working back then?” he asked quietly, sitting back down on the very edge of the sofa.

Jensen did because he’d been more than a little bitchy about it given they were expecting their first child and he’d been scared out of his mind. He nodded but frowned, not understanding why Jared was asking him this now when he heard Chris let out a muttered curse and Mark said something about bloody soap operas before Alaina told them all to shut up.

“Huh? What’re you… oh my God!” he felt his heart do a kick to his chest as he looked down to see the small box in Jared’s hand. “You… is this… what is this?”

“I put them on layaway right after you told me about the baby. I got them out right after he was born and was going to propose on Christmas since you always teased me about doing something corny and sappy if I ever proposed,” Jared looked down at the ring in the box, then back to Jensen’s wide eyes to see a tear on his face. “If the asshole behind me hadn’t butted in where he wasn’t wanted, I would’ve asked you and I hope you would’ve said yes,” he took the ring out now to run it between his fingers before coughing uneasily. “I… I know that for right now it’ll just be a ring and a forged piece of paper until we get this settled and I can get you to a courthouse or in front of a judge but… I do want to marry you, Jensen. In fact…”

Jared slid off the sofa to one knee, hearing a soft gasp from Jensen as he stared at him while holding out the ring to him. “Pretending for the moment to be married to you won’t be a problem. In my mind, in my heart, we’ve been married. I hope one day, once all this settled and can be put behind us that you’ll allow me to put another ring on your hand when you’re ready and feel safe enough to say…”

“Yes!” Jensen didn’t give him a chance to finish. He understood what Jared was trying to say and he didn’t care if for the moment it wouldn’t be real. It would one day be and so long as he knew that Jared really did want to marry him then he could pretend that they’d been married.

Jared’s dimpled smile came out fully as he slipped the ring onto Jensen’s left hand. It was loose due to the weight the man had lost but they would have it resized to fit. Until then, they’d find a way to make sure it didn’t fall off since he thought by the way Jensen’s eyes lit at the ring on his hand, and the way he went into his arms, that it would take a fight to get it off of him now. “I love you, sugar,” he whispered against his ear, hearing a soft reply as well as a muffled sob as Jensen buried against his neck in a sudden rush of emotion. “So? Have your guy make this real so they can’t fight it,” he told Alaina, adding firmly. “I’ll kill that bastard if he tries to put his hands on Jensen.”

“Does he mean Collins or you, Kane?” Mark asked cheerfully only to laugh as his teammate flipped him off.

Jared lost track of things once Alaina called in techs to help set his office with the equipment needed. He held Jensen that night in his… their bed and soothed his restless dreams when he woke up twice feeling Jensen twisting uneasily in his sleep. He listened to the whimpers as Jensen’s lips moved, few sounds coming out but what did, made Jared’s gut clench and he added more things to his mental note to hurt people over.

Now Jared was trying not to pace his packed office as Alaina gave a nervous Jensen some final tips and went over notes with him.

Before Jensen had crashed the night before the woman and Matt Cohen had helped Jensen write down what he thought he wanted to say. It wouldn’t be an easy speech to deliver as it was packed with things that were still raw to Jensen, but he knew the reasons he had to bare his soul to the world, even if he’d never been a very open man with anyone but Jared.

Now he sat in a worn out leather wingchair that Jared had gotten shortly after moving to Birkshead. Jensen was dressed in the new clothes Sam had bought for him the other day. He’d snorted when, once again, Chris had mentioned they’d packed him clothes.

“Those aren’t my clothes and I don’t want anything touching me from that place or time,” he’d said while letting Alaina fix the collar of the flannel shirt that he wore over a soft blue t-shirt so the wireless microphone wasn’t receiving feedback. “I hate speeches. I hate this whole mess but I’ll do it because I won’t let them hurt anyone else like me. I won’t let their hate take anyone else’s life like mine was taken.”

“You’re a very strong man, Jensen Ackles,” Alaina said with a warm smile. She stepped back once she was pleased with everything but saw his frown. “Jensen? What is it?” she asked and did worry they were pushing this young man too fast.

“We’re supposed to be married, right?” Jensen’s eyes once again moved to the gold ring on his finger before looking up at his manager and then to where he sensed Jared was out of camera range. “Okay. We’re married then… from now on when anyone addresses me I want it to be Ackles-Padalecki,” he smiled a little smugly as he caught Jared’s eyes. “I could drop the Ackles but it’s still my name and I won’t let them take that, even though my family isn’t anything to be proud of. I hope to one day change that. It’ll also piss them off.”

“That’s my boy,” Jared laughed and also saw Chris smirk. “Is this going to work?” he asked him quietly while watching Jensen take several slow, deep breaths as the computer sitting to the side was turned on to show the live shot of the mutual speech being given in Texas right then by a grief stricken Richard and Jane Ackles, as well as a furious one by Mark Pellegrino who called those who would kidnap and hurt Jensen cowards and no supporters of his.

“We’re about to find out,” the former bodyguard said as suddenly the speeches were interrupted by a stern faced older woman who stepped to the center of the small TV studio there this was being broadcasted out of in San Antonio.

“Excuse me!” she finally snapped when no one would stop speaking and she motioned so both men’s microphones were cut off. “As much as I’m sure you gentlemen would like to go on with your mutual piles of cow manure, I’m afraid I’m cutting this farce off as we have someone on live TV feed that has something to say to all of you and this state as well as the country since this is now being broadcasted nationwide. The floor or the screen is now yours… Jensen,” she said with a wide smile. “And please know, the State of Texas is very happy to welcome you, your new manager and you’re much different platform into this Senate race. Go right ahead.”

As the studio in Texas first went hushed, then outraged, the large screen hanging on the wall filled with Jensen’s ruggedly handsome face as he looked into the camera and silently prayed he didn’t blow this.

“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen of Texas and around the country. While I’m sure by now, thanks to the erroneous attempts of my campaign manager as well as my parents and their backers, y’all know my face if not my name,” Jensen began in a voice that was so much different than people had heard from him before. It was deeper and with his natural drawl showing more than he’d ever allowed it to before or been allowed. “Let me introduce myself again. My name is Jensen Ross Ackles-Padalecki and I hope to be the first openly gay Senator from the great state of Texas.”

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might contain some descriptions that are disturbing so beware of this.

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Eleven**

The laptop showing the feed from Texas had been nearly muted so it didn’t distract Jensen as he began his speech. Of course, he didn’t have to hear it. He could see the close up of the shocked faces of his parents and former manager. Then as he began to speak again their shock quickly turned to rage and he figured the demands to shut off the live feed, to stop him because he wasn’t speaking of his own free will; something that made him laugh and veer off his scripted speech a little.

“I’m not speaking under my own free will? Seriously? You’re going to say that? Let me reassure the people who are watching this that I am for the first time in seven years actually able to speak for myself. Just as I reassured the members of the election board last night along with the Federal Marshals I spoke to when my new campaign manager and I spoke to them to get things switched around,” he cocked his head a little while never looking away from the camera. “Unlike the lies that my so-called ‘loving parents’ or my sociopathic ex-campaign manager have been feeding you, or the fake righteous anger of my backstabbing and lying opponent, I was not kidnapped. I was actually freed. Freed to remember who I am, who I was, and where I belonged. Freed from the seven years of abuse, captivity, torture, and brain washing my family and their pet doctors put me through after kidnapping me from my husband and child seven years earlier.”

Jensen could hear, even with the sound low, the high pitched screeching of his mother as she screamed for them to shut him off; that this was a lie. He saw one of Pellegrino’s henchmen start to move only to be stopped in his stride by a dark suited Federal marshal who’d gone to Texas with Justin Hartley and Matt Cohen to be sure this wasn’t disconnected.

He saw the Governor of Texas step out to take a seat behind the now cleared news anchor table with Justin handing him various files and folders that contained copies of the very damaging evidence of not only the illegal and dirty campaign ran by his father and Misha Collins but also the connections Pellegrino had to it.

“My new campaign manager has supplied press packets for all of you there and has emailed them to the newspapers, TV stations, and other online news sources so all the evidence gathered of my kidnapping, my illegal imprisonment in an illegally run hospital in Oregon, a hospital that is connected with Mr. Pellegrino by the way even though he swears he no longer believes in forced sterilization and re-education through torture, abuse, drugs and electro-therapy,” he felt his jaw tighten as he forced his memories away to focus on doing this. “I left Texas at 21 when I announced I was gay. I moved away to start a life with the man who married me and who gave me a beautiful son that I gave birth to… oh, did I forget to mention I was also a carrier of the Male Pregnancy Gene?

“I was… I say _was_ because thanks to my father’s racist beliefs, thanks to my family being unable to let me go to live my life, I was strapped to a table in some inhumane filthy room, given a small local anesthetic that barely numbed anything as I was forced to feel the sadists sterilize me and then to make sure they took out my womb so I could never give Jared, my husband, another child. But then, thanks to their brainwashing and drugs, they weren’t expecting me to remember that I had a husband or a child, or that I would never support the crap that they’ve had me saying in that mockery of a campaign,” he stared into the camera with pain on his face as he relived those painful moments but then he heard his name said softly and without thinking he held out a hand, motioning to Jared to come closer.

“For a year I was held prisoner in that place. Then for the last six years I was held a virtual prisoner inside my own head and inside my parents mansion,” Jensen went on as Jared took the extended hand to step closer and sit on the arm of the chair as the camera made sure to catch them both as well as the rings they both wore as Jensen slipped his hand into Jared’s fully. “I was drugged, beaten, and abused by my family, their guards and my father made it a habit to let the bi-sexual sociopathic asshole who pretended to be my manager and his friends rape me and hurt me in ways I will not speak of here. All the proof you need about what I’m saying is in those files.

“I was finally helped to escape. It was after Jared came to the so-called debate, after he confronted me innocently without knowing what had happened to me or why I’d left him and our child, that I began to remember. It was after I was beaten severally and left locked in an office in that house, my basic cell I guess you could call it, that I began to know who I was and where I needed to be,” Jensen glanced up into Jared’s wet eyes to offer a small shaky smile before looking back directly into the camera as the one in Texas zoomed in on his red-faced father and ex-manager who were both shouting obscenities at the screen as well as to the people who wouldn’t shut it off. “You thought they’d taken my mind because all I was for you, for them, for that fake campaign, was a mindless little zombie repeating what you or Collins said in my ear or drilled into my head. You thought you’d destroyed my body… and that you might have done but I will tell you now, and I will tell you when I come back to Austin, you have not destroyed me, old man,” he leaned up slightly to show the hate on his face, in his eyes.

“You have not destroyed my family. And when I say my family I don’t mean back there because I have no family in Texas. But I will return to Texas, I will run for that seat in the Texas senate because I will not allow your real candidate, the man you used me as a scapegoat to get elected before you had me shot and turned over to that bastard,” Jensen felt Jared squeeze his hand and knew he needed to refocus despite the rage that was suddenly surging through him at his parents.

“Pellegrino!” the camera moved to a calm looking but clearly enraged Mark Pellegrino. “All those smooth words, those lies you’ve been feeding people about how you’ve changed? About how you don’t want gays or carriers to register or be locked away? You can take those lies and shove them right up my father’s ass since you’ve been kissing it this whole time; or maybe he’d been kissing yours. I’m not sure,” Jensen smirked but then frowned. “You challenged me to a debate that was a fraud. In every speech or appearance they forced me to make it was to make me look like a monster. Well this is the real Jensen Ackles-Padalecki and I challenge you to a debate this coming Sunday in Austin. You can prove to your supporters that you aren’t a wolf in sheep’s clothing and that the minute you get elected, if you get elected, you’d change colors and every innocent man and woman who thought you were for them will find themselves locked in prison hospitals because they love a little differently.

“I am running a campaign for equality. I will see to it if I’m elected that gays, lesbians, everyone who feels different will be protected in Texas and this country. I will protect carriers of the MPG so no other man who has been gifted with the chance to bring innocent life into this world will ever know the terror and pain that I now know.” Jensen pushed to his feet suddenly to step closer to the camera as if making sure everyone saw his expression. “I will not let you, Collins, my parents, any of those bigots shelling out cash to your campaign, or the fake one that they were running, hurt another innocent person. I will not let one more baby lose his or her father or mother because of assholes like y’all. I will convince people that I am not the man you tried to make me into. I will win that seat and I will see all of you burn in hell!”

Jensen took a shaky step back when he felt his head get a little light headed but he needed to say one more thing to the people this time. “I know you may all believe the lies but if you give me a chance, I’ll prove that I am not that man and that I will serve you well. I’ll see your ass in Austin, Pellegrino.”

The light on the camera clicked off and Jensen’s legs went to jelly even as Jared’s arms caught him. As he fell forward with a choked sob, he was suddenly swamped with pain, memories, emotions, and fears that he’d tried to keep buried. But after seeing his parents, seeing his ex-manager, seeing the rage, the hate on their faces as well as thinking about things he’d seen in those files, things Chris had said along with memories he was still regaining but hadn’t yet shared made the walls drop and he couldn’t stop the rush when it hit him.

“I’ve got you, Jensen,” Jared’s arms wrapped around Jensen, catching him when his knees buckled and he fell into his arms with a sudden sob and the rest of the room knew it was time to give them some privacy. “I need to…”

“Jared, you and Jensen go upstairs so he can rest while I get this stuff taken down and make some calls. Chris and Mark will keep the house secure and call the Sheriff to maybe keep the little one gone for another hour or so to give Jensen time to work through this,” Alaina suggested with a warm smile, laying her hand on a wet cheek as Jensen tried to speak to her but just couldn’t right then. “You did even better than anyone could’ve hoped for, Jensen,” she reassured him as if sensing his concerns. “If you keep that fire in your belly and stand your ground when confronted by those jackasses in person you will have no trouble winning that election and taking them all down. Now, go upstairs with your husband. Let him give you that comfort you need right now.”

“Hey! Can we not put out more images that I can’t unhear?” Chris Kane objected with a mock grimace. He’d known since he and Jensen were kids in junior high that his friend was gay, and that was fine. He’d known Jensen had loved the boy from the other side of the tracks, and that was fine. Chris was still fine… so long as he didn’t have to think too hard on it.

Jensen still tensed at his voice and Jared knew it would take a long time before the man ever came to terms with Chris’s actions if he ever did. Right then he just wanted to get Jensen upstairs so they could have a moment of privacy and maybe the man could sleep before Nicky got home later, because then they’d have to sit their son down and make some decisions as a family.

Jared kept his arms tight to support Jensen, feeling him shaking a little less by the time they reached the Master bedroom but he could tell his legs were weak, so he waited until he had them sitting on the bed to let go. As Jensen fell back with a groan, hands scrubbing over his face, he went to shut and lock the door and then ran a glass of water from the tap in the bathroom to carry back to the bed.

“She was right, y’know. You were awesome,” he sat down on the bottom of the bed, noticing Jensen’s one hand was clenched while his other was flat over his stomach. “Do you want me to leave you alone for a while?” he asked slowly; hating that thought but knowing he still needed to take this slow. Especially after what Jensen had just faced and brought back in his mind.

When Jensen didn’t reply Jared placed the glass on the nightstand and then laid one of his hands over Jensen’s fist for just a moment. “When you’re ready to talk about anything or if you need anything, I’m here, Jen,” he said. “You try to get some sleep since you were pretty restless last night and I’m gonna go start… Jensen?”

He’d started to move his hand when suddenly his wrist was caught and held, fingers meshing with his as Jensen’s eyes opened slowly to look at him. “Being brave, talking brave was easy when I knew I was safe in your home, states apart… but being in Texas, being in the same room with not only Pellegrino but also my parents, and all their pals, cause I know they’ll have to show up if they don’t before then… I’m not sure I can be brave for that, Jared,” he said quietly, chewing his lips nervously. “Even thinking about being close enough to let Misha near me, to possibly touch me, makes me sick and I just want to take it all back and…”

“No one will touch you, Jensen,” Jared replied firmly, turning their hands so their palms met. “I won’t let them. I also believe that Kane and those guys with him will keep you and Nicky safe.”

“What about you?” Jensen had noticed Jared’s choice of words a couple times. “Who’ll protect you Jay?” he asked, turning his cheek into the palm that touched him as Jared smiled.

“I can take care of myself, sugar. It’s you and our little boy that I worry about,” Jared told him while letting his fingers stroke down Jensen’s cheek. “To lose either you or Nicky would kill me. I wish to God that if I thought moving out of here, leaving the country even, would offer you protection from them but…”

“But it won’t,” Jensen understood that now. He’d actually been doing a lot in internal soul searching since he’d regained what he hoped was at least 90% of his memories.

Jensen knew there still seemed to be spots of his life that he couldn’t recall or he had trouble telling if what he did recall was real or implanted, but those didn’t bother him since they were mostly about his former life in Texas and as far as he was concerned, he didn’t give a damn about those.

He had the memories of his life with Jared. He was slowly recalling the months he’d carried their son inside his body and then the month of joy after that as they learned to be parents. Jensen wished he didn’t have a year of his imprisoned memories or those of the last six years which were coming back now and showing him how much of a slave and a prisoner he’d been in that big house in Texas.

The Texan had memories now that made him want to curl up in the closet and pretend they were faked, but he knew they were real. He knew what had been done to him by those close to his father and he knew he hadn’t been a willing participant of any of the acts.

Jensen also knew he needed to share those memories with Jared, but still had the shame and fear of his reaction stopping him. He reached up to let his own fingers trace over Jared’s jaw. “It’s like they say, it’ll never be over until I confront not only the lies of that mock campaign but also confront those behind it. I have enough evidence in my head to put a lot of people behind bars and the next few days could be dangerous. I… I don’t want you or Nicky put in danger because of me, babe. Maybe you should take him someplace. Alaina could arrange for a vacation or… Jared…”

“No, I’m not leaving you,” Jared stated and meant it. He would ensure their son’s safety but he would not let Jensen face his demons alone. “I know this whole political thing is beyond me. Hell, I’m still barely able to figure out a lot of Nicky’s homework at times, but what isn’t beyond me is what I feel for you. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’ll fight for you, Jensen. We’ll fight all of them and you’ll win.”

“My Dad… Pellegrino, their people, will come after you, Jay,” Jensen murmured as he slid up more on the bed so his sore leg could stretch out but he made sure to tug Jared along with him until they were lying side by side, facing one another on the bed, hands touching. “They will dig up everything negative they can and…”

Jared shook his head while lifting his one hand to allow his fingers to comb through Jensen’s short hair and wondered if his former lover realized how with each touch he seemed to move into the touch more or how his green eyes were getting just a shade darker. “I’m a guy from the wrong side of the tracks in a small Texas town of mostly good, hardworking folks and a few bad apples. I was misunderstood even before I came out and have accepted the blame for my Dad’s death a…”

“No, not anymore. I will be damned if you’ll still blame yourself for that bastard’s death,” Jensen cut him off, pushing Jared onto his back without even realizing it. He caught a flash of surprise from Jared as he rolled with him until he could push himself up and straddle him, looking into his eyes as his hands went flat on a barely moving chest. “Your father was an abusive drunk. He blamed his drinking on having one too many kids because he had to work so much and then they blamed his suicide on you too. He was a heartless son of a bitch who planned his suicide so you’d not only find him, but also be there when he did it.

“You had a mild learning disability that could’ve been helped if either of your parents had given a damn but all either of them cared about was booze, shopping, gambling and putting all their issues on you,” he caught Jared’s face between his palms to hold it. “Whatever else might be dragged up about where you came from, or what you were, _that_ is one thing that I want you to let go of because he was going to kill himself one way or another, Jared. Either with a bottle, a car, or how he did; the only thing I regret is he waited for you to come home to say what he did to you before he pulled that trigger.”

Jared had been startled by Jensen’s sudden move to straddle him but then he was surprised to hear the same silent fury in his deep husky voice as he had when they’d been kids and it had been Jensen who’d comforted a guilt and grief stricken Jared while his family turned him away. He hadn’t been expecting Jensen to recall those times or to still feel as strongly as he had then.

“I… I thought it was my job to protect and reassure you,” he said with a cough, trying to cover his suddenly raw emotions while also struggling with a need to flip the positions again or pull Jensen down and kiss him like he was burning to.

“It is and you can but… it’ll still be a cold day in hell when I won’t protect you and Nicky if I ever have to,” Jensen remarked, head cocked to the side as he looked down and slowly realized their positions.

Jensen froze when he came to see that he was straddling Jared’s stomach, hands on his face and could see darkening hazel eyes staring up at him cautiously. He saw Jared’s fingers digging into the covers and somehow knew that was to keep from touching him; something that made him love this man even more than he did.

“Jensen, I love you,” Jared began in a voice that was tight with suppressed emotion and need. “I’ve promised to give you time and I will but… I’m still human and you need to move before I break that promise, sugar.”

Jensen knew he did. He could feel the tension in Jared’s body right then and had a second to wonder why he wasn’t feeling the same nauseating sickness he usually did when confronted with anything sexual. It took Jensen another second to consider the reasons and then to realize the answer.

“Nicky said I was the first man he’d ever seen in your bed,” he began thoughtfully but instead of sliding off of Jared like a piece of him knew he should Jensen stayed where he was; only moving his hands from Jared’s face to his shoulders and immediately saw the flash of warning directed at him. “Tell me the truth, Jared. In the seven years we’ve been apart, how many men or… women have been in this bed?” he asked quietly.

“Jensen, you need to move and… I really need to take a cold shower before I do something you’re not ready for,” Jared wasn’t sure what had brought this on but he knew if he had a shot at keeping his promise to go slow then he had to put distance between them… Except it seemed like Jensen wasn’t planning to move yet as the hands on his shoulders suddenly showed the strength that many people hadn’t understood Jensen had. “Jen…”

“How many?” Jensen asked again, knowing and accepting he couldn’t be jealous or angry given the circumstances of their separation. “I… I know it’s none of my business. You thought I’d left you and the baby, so of course you should’ve moved on. I… I guess I just want to know if… if… you ever…”

“None,” Jared replied when he heard the quiet fear in Jensen’s voice while watching his lashes start to lower to hide his eyes. He knew he could’ve flipped Jensen, reversed their position but didn’t; he allowed Jensen to have control, which was something he sensed he needed even more than he needed an answer. “I never dated another man or a woman. From the moment I came home to Nicky in an empty house, from the second I realized you’d gone away or was taken as I came to believe, I never once thought of dating or finding anyone else. I loved you. I love you now and when you’re ready to trust that, to trust me again to not hurt you like those bastards did, then I’ll show you how to be loved again.”

Staring into Jared’s eyes had Jensen’s chest tightening with emotions he hadn’t felt in seven years. He feared being touched because he didn’t want the memories of what Misha Collins had done to him; things he would have to share before anything more serious happened between them. But he didn’t feel afraid right then. He felt protected and as he watched Jared’s face, he also felt something else that he hadn’t in seven years and that did scare him, so slowly Jensen moved to sit on the edge of the bed, staring at his hands.  

“The first time it happened, or I should say the first time they let Collins use me, was about five years ago,” Jensen began slowly, fingers brushing over his wrists where, if he let it, he could still see the bruises from either hands or cuffs that held his wrists down until they just started drugging him and then tying him down. “In the hospital it was the staff, male and female, and after they took me back to Texas my parents would let the maids or daughters of their friends have sex with me as part of my… recovery.

“I’d wake up numb, alert to what was happening since it was vital I remember watching these women ride me or suck me off or anything else since their doctors said I’d been traumatized by the assault that put me in a coma, that I didn’t want to be touched or to have sex or date the sluts my Mother brought around. The next morning if I said anything he’d slap me in the face and tell me to shut up, be a man and fuck the bitches,” Jensen felt the bed shift as Jared moved to sit up but made no move to touch him yet. “Six months after he and his… advisors decided that I’d be running for Senate and he brought Collins in to be my ‘manager’ was the first time…”

Jensen paused to take a deep breath, seeing that his hands were shaking as he had flashes of brutal memories of the first time a hard backhand to the jaw took him off guard and before he could recover from the shock, his hands were being tied behind him as his manager forced him over the desk in his ‘office’ and explained that from then on when he wanted to fuck him, he would and Jensen wouldn’t fuss about it. He was expected and would be expected to bend over or do what the man or his underlings said or he’d be punished.

“At first… after it happened I think I still might’ve thought my parents would care. I mean, here I was convinced I’d been brutally attacked, left in a coma by a gang of ruthless gay rights people. They had me starting to get prepared to run for the Senate this year even though the planning started back then, I had to deal with that asshole all this time, and on an anti-gay platform and yet there was a man raping me under my parents’ roof,” he glanced over his shoulder when he felt a hand touch it, reaching back to grasp it tightly like a lifeline. “I… I knew still, I think, that despite the teary act my mother could put on or how concerned they acted around certain people that they couldn’t stand the sight of me and that confused me. But what rocked me was the morning I told them what he’d done. I expected shock, maybe a little anger… but I didn’t get that. Well, I got anger but not at him.”

“You don’t have to do this, Jensen,” Jared told him quietly but moved a little closer when he saw the first shudder go through Jensen’s shoulders. “It’s too soon for you to…”

Jensen made himself meet Jared’s eyes as he turned just a little so he could see him easier. “I do. I do have to do this, Jay,” he replied and then explained why. “It’s more than just because I know I’ll be confronted by him and I want you to know, even though I probably shouldn’t for that reason since I don’t want you killing him on sight.”

“Sugar, the odds are high that I’ll do that anyway,” Jared had hated the black haired prick the moment he’d seen him in Sheppard’s Port. Now he really wanted to see the man bleed and he suspected that feeling was only about to increase. “It’s enough that you’d said what was done. You don’t have to go into the details yet or ever if you don’t want to.”

“I want you to kiss me, Jared,” Jensen stated. “I want to kiss you but I need you to know what happened so you can decide if… you still want me as your lover,” he saw the muscle twitch in Jared’s jaw so he smoothed his fingers over it with a slow sad smile. “Hear me out because you might change your mind and… if you do I’ll… I’ll understand.”

That wasn’t a lie; it would hurt if Jared decided to pull back, but Jensen wouldn’t say he blamed him given what he wanted to tell him and then things that he wasn’t sure he could yet.

“My… my father’s view on it when I told them that first morning was I should be used to it and get used to it since it was how he expected me to earn my keep and actually be useful to them for once in my life,” he began again but this time had to stand up, he needed to feel Jared’s presence but he also couldn’t be on the bed for this so he walked to the dresser to pick up a picture of Nicky on what must have been his first day of school. It saddened Jensen to know he’d missed so many milestones but he would make the most of the ones that would happen from now on.

“It didn’t happen all the time but it was explained to me one time that because of my past, which I couldn’t remember then, I was basically no better than a servant. I was expected to say, act, and do what my parents, or my ‘manager’, or their cronies said. I had no say and if I tried to resist or if I had a hard time memorizing a speech, then I’d be beaten or burned but only where cameras or people couldn’t see the marks,” Jensen looked up to watch Jared in the mirror on the dresser. “Dad had a staff of physicians on call since they told me I would never be fully healed so I needed a constant care team on hand. Even drugged and basically a zombie I figured out that these ‘doctors’ were more like sadistic torturers who enjoyed causing me pain. It wasn’t until Chris came that some of that eased and now I’m wondering if he didn’t put one or two of his people inside because when one certain guy began to do the shots or the… weekly exams it didn’t hurt as bad and my head didn’t get foggy.

“Collins though… it was in the last year that his abuse kicked up. You’ve seen… my body?” he asked with a shake to his voice as he saw Jared nod, fingers clenching on the dresser. “On the outside, Misha Collins looks like the image his family and my own portrays. Smooth talking, kind, a loving people person who might be a bigoted racist but wouldn’t hurt a fly. The actual man is something completely different. He is a bi-sexual sadist who enjoys hurting people in any way he can.

“He enjoyed mocking me in public since to them, to everyone around me, I was this damaged man who could only function if my strings were pulled but to the masses. To the people in Austin, I still looked like I was in control. I think a lot of them suspected but there wasn’t enough proof to call down an investigation… until you came,” he smiled a little more but his eyes were shadowed as Jensen chewed his lip. “His favorite thing to do would be to drug me just enough so I couldn’t fight back because I… I… hated him. I hated him even before my Dad basically sold me to him. He’s an arrogant jackass and during one of the times where I was more… lucid or free with my thoughts I told him that.

“It was during a meeting where I was expected to sit there and be talked about but not say anything. He, my Dad, and these other bigshots were talking about the debate and how to best work it and… I’d been more difficult these past few months for them. I wasn’t learning what I was supposed to or I didn’t want to be the mouth piece they wanted me to be, so that night I looked up and told him he was a jackass who couldn’t run a decent campaign from a turtle,” Jensen smirked as he chuckled darkly. “I think Chris spit his coffee out because it shocked everyone. I knew I’d be punished for it but I also think I knew by then that I’d be hurt for anything simply because they could. Because I was nothing to them and no one gave a damn about me. That was the night he branded me.”

Jensen removed his button down to pull his t-shirt off. He turned so he could see his own back in the mirror, missing when Jared stood to approach him but didn’t jerk when the fingers gently ran over the scars on his back until getting to the small of his back. “He showed his true nature that night because I pissed him off. Before my father could even do it, Collins punched me hard in the face and ordered the guards, men more loyal to my father than Chris… I see now that there must have been a couple factions of guards there, to drag my ass to the barn,” he looked over at Jared, tone dropping lower as he got to one of the bad parts. “He said the brand was to remind me who I belonged to for the time being. It’s the one Dad’s trainers use on their horses. Collins promised to add his initials once he owned my ass. It still didn’t click in my head what he meant.

“You could smell burning flesh and blood. I’m pretty certain I screamed, even despite being drugged so I couldn’t move or speak. As he was burning me, he was fucking me raw. He usually enjoyed raping me so I was looking at him because I couldn’t close my eyes. Usually they’d cuff or tie me on a bed or the desk and make me watch everything he did,” he cringed as Jared’s hand rubbed over his back but more from the shame than any pain, even though he did still have raw wounds. “He even forced himself on me in the back of the limo one day while my father talked on the phone to a contributor and nothing was said except ‘don’t mark him where the sheep can see’. The abuse was escalating, the physical abuse during the sex was getting more out of control to where even his buddies who’d watch or join in would tell him to watch what he did and the night before the debate he… choked me out while fucking me that… that I thought I was going to die and… I didn’t care, Jay.

“In the hospital, whenever things got too bad or when he or his pals were on me or hurting me or Mom was hitting me, I would try to fight the drugs enough to slip into what I thought was some twisted dream. Right then I’d been made to think I was straight so it used to confuse me to dream of a man I didn’t know, even though I felt like I should, so I eventually started wanting to dream of you. The moment I saw you, the moment you spoke up at that debate, I knew you were who I’d been seeing in my mind,” Jensen turned to lean on the dresser as Jared watched him. “For six years, I wanted to die. I tried to kill myself at least a half a dozen times until finally my parents started locking me up at night in a room with cameras so I was always watched, or making sure someone was with me at all times so I couldn’t ‘escape my sworn duty’ as they called it. I would beg the doctors sometimes to kill me as they drugged me for him, but they wouldn’t.

“I will not ever let that man or my father do this to me or anyone like me again, Jared,” he said seriously, unaware that he’d begun to shake as he gradually began to tell him everything else that he hadn’t expected to.

Jensen spoke in halting words as he explained the sick games, the sexual deviancy he recalled despite wishing he didn’t. It was when he finally got to the point where he explained the very worst and his voice broke into choked sobs that Jared pulled him into his arms to just hold him.

It was painful and hard for Jared to stay silent, to let Jensen speak without interrupting or trying to stop him. He hated to see the raw emotions, the shame and fear he could on the man’s ruggedly handsome but pale face as he spoke of the abuse, physical, sexual, and emotional, he’d endured for basically seven years. But Jared also understood that it might be cleansing to allow Jensen to purge his inner demons so he did so…until finally he heard the brutal broken sob and that was it.

“C’mere, Jen,” he gave a gentle tug and let Jensen hold on as tight as he could; feeling strong fingers shake as they clenched in the back of Jared’s t-shirt while hot tears soaked through the front as he held the man he loved, the man he would protect no matter who it was against. “Shhh, let it out, sugar. I’ve got you and nothing, no one will ever hurt you again,” he promised thickly and just stood there and let Jensen work through his emotions.

Rage, shame, bitterness as well as hate, fear and pain all came pouring out as Jensen allowed himself to let go of it all. He wasn’t fully aware of the burning tears or his choked back sobs or how his fists had begun to pound on Jared’s back. He wasn’t aware of any of this until he felt his knees suddenly buckle. He felt himself picked up and just held as Jared sat on the bed with him in his arms.

Jared’s lips pressed soft kisses against Jensen’s hair and over his forehead while whispering soothing words to him and hoping he could keep his own tears back for the moment because it hurt him so badly to think how much of this could’ve been stopped, if only he’d had more courage or Kane had acted sooner.

Jared wasn’t sure how long they sat there before he felt the worst of Jensen’s shudders slowly calming down and he felt his body relaxing in his arms. He was starting to carefully move one arm so he could reach back to pull the covers on the bed down, thinking Jensen had probably worn himself out and had fallen to sleep. He planned to ease the sleeping man under the covers while he went to work off his frustration on Chris Kane’s face.

“Jared.” Jensen’s voice was raw, huskier than normal when he spoke; catching Jared’s hand to pull it back to him. “I… I need you to be honest with me. After hearing that and pushing aside the guilt I know you’re probably feeling even though you have no reason to feel it… do you still want me?” he asked a little warily, lifting his head to stare at Jared with tired, shadowed, wet eyes. “I mean as more than a friend, more than Nicky’s other parent… do… do you still want me as your husband? As your lover?”

Jared looked at him silently for a long moment before slowly shifting so he could lay Jensen down on the bed as carefully as he had the first time that they’d made love and he’d been scared of screwing up. He stretched up so they were face to face, hands touching just barely. “Yes, I do,” he said, going on with a slow loving smile as he watched Jensen’s face carefully. “I want you as my best friend. I want you as Nicky’s father. I want you as my husband and yes, I most definitely want you as my lover. When you’re ready to be,” he added so Jensen would understand he wasn’t pushing him.

“Kiss me, Jared?” Jensen asked softly, heart pounding after hearing Jared say he was still willing to have him even after all that he’d revealed. “I… I don’t know how far I can go this soon or even if I… I can have sex or made it good for you but… God, I want to feel you kiss me so badly but am afraid that I won’t even do that right anymore.”

“Can I kiss you, Jensen?” Jared understood the courage that taking this step so soon after revealing so much was taking and it made him even prouder of Jensen. He let his fingertips ghost over Jensen’s face, over his lips to see him nod.

Curving his fingers gently down Jensen’s face, Jared was careful to go slow as he leaned over more until his lips touched Jensen’s slowly with just a soft brushing kiss as if to gauge his reaction to the act.

“I’m not a china doll, Jared,” Jensen muttered but his lips were curved into a smile even as his fingers where wrapping in Jared’s shirt to pull him closer yet. “You weren’t this scared to touch me the first time.”

“Oh, yes I was. I was just better at hiding it that time,” Jared admitted with a shaky laugh. “This time… this time I feel like if I mess it up I’ll break you and…”

Jensen pulled back to look into his boyfriend… husband’s face to see the honest fear there and had to remind himself that being a year older was something Jared took very serious; especially now when he knew what Jensen was fighting to overcome. “Just kiss me like you used to, Jay,” he told him. “Don’t be afraid of me. Just let me adjust to you, to this slowly, but just kiss mmmhm,” he moaned softly as this time warm plush lips caught his in a slightly deeper but still slow, still careful kiss that didn’t heat or get rough.

At first the touch of another mouth on his, Jensen flashed back to other times when his mouth had been used brutally but before Jared could notice the slight tension or Jensen allowed the memories to stop what he wanted to do, the warmth and gentleness of this kiss brought back other memories, good ones.

He could remember when he and Jared had been shy, awkward teenagers fooling around and experimenting with kissing and fondling in the back of Jared’s old car, or the apple orchard an old farmer owned that paid Jared to pick apples and knew about their relationship.

Even though Jared was a year older and had come out officially earlier, Jensen had still kissed him first because Jared had been scared of making a mistake… much like he was now.

“It’s okay, Jared,” he murmured against his lips, fingers moving up to touch Jared’s face to urge him to kiss him again. “I’m okay.”

Jared still held himself tense, cautious as he kissed Jensen again. Only this time he slid his arm around to bring the other man closer to him as their lips touched slowly, hesitantly until it seemed they both began to familiarize themselves again to each other’s touch.

He felt like the same scared 17 year old he’d been the first time they’d kissed only this time he had more at stake. Jared worked to keep his mind on just giving light, soft kisses this time while trying to keep his eyes on Jensen’s face to see if he was okay or if the kisses were upsetting him. When he saw Jensen’s eyes were calm, almost amused but also a little darker he deepened the kiss a little but made no move to use his tongue yet; wanting to give Jensen time to adjust to simple kisses and to make that move himself.

“Jensen…” he whispered when he finally had to break the kiss or let it go too far. “Okay?”

Touching his lips with his fingertips, Jensen could still feel Jared’s kiss. He heard his worry and gave him a shaky smile before pushing Jared onto his back so he could lean up on his chest and smile into his worried face. “I know you’d never hurt or rush me, Jared,” he said and knew that was why he wasn’t a shaking, sick mess. “I want to do more but…”

“Little steps, sugar,” Jared told him as he met his smile while slipping his arms around to hold Jensen when he settled with his head lying on his chest, eyes heavy. “You’ve been through hell and I know it’ll take us time to adjust to one another again. When you’re ready to take another step or want to try to do a little more, we will. But until then I’m happy you’ll let me kiss you a little.”

“Hmm, maybe more than little,” Jensen hadn’t planned to sleep but after working through the memories and the emotions, he was suddenly tired. He moved a little closer to Jared so his head settled and was located over where he could hear Jared’s heart beating, fingers meshing with his. “Wake me before Nicky gets home?”

“Yeah, I will,” Jared promised, fingers skimming softly through short hair but carefully avoiding the spots he knew to. “I love you Jensen,” he said softly and saw the quirk of Jensen’s lips as he drifted off to sleep. “We’ll get through this and send all those bastards to hell. Then we can settle down and raise our little boy.”

Jensen’s eyes opened sleepily to lift his head enough to look at him, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I’d like that,” he whispered, drifting off to sleep with happy dreams for once.

“They’re going to make a move before he can go to Austin and confront Pellegrino,” Chris Kane remarked to his boss as he closed the bedroom door after checking on pair when it was too quiet after an hour and half. “I need to know what to do if that happens. Jared won’t use Jensen as bait and neither will I.”

Alaina had peeked in to see the pair both sleeping and noticed the protective way Jared held Jensen. Normally it wasn’t their job to care about the collateral damage that happened to get an assignment completed. This case was different.

“Do what you have to in order to protect them and their son,” she told the man. “Pellegrino and Ackles will overplay their hand. It’s not them I’m worried about doing something stupid enough to put them in physical danger. It’s the other asshole and he’s got an open shoot to kill order on his head. If Collins makes a move on Jensen then you boys can take that shot… but just lose the body until we see where this goes in Austin. Now, I have a debate to arrange and some feathers to soothe in both DC and Austin. Call me if anything happens and if not, I’ll see you boys in Austin.”

As the woman left, Chris blew out a breath. “Call Gen. Tell her to give it another hour and then bring the kid home,” he told Mark as he went out the back door to make sure he knew where all his team was and that they all knew what to do because he did not plan on anyone else being hurt on this assignment… or at least no one that didn’t deserve it.

**TBC**


	12. Chapter 12

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Twelve**

“I have to go down to the paper to help Danneel and Jeff with the expose they’re going to run to coincide with your appearance in Austin on Sunday,” Jared said from the door to his office where he was fighting not to smile. “You really don’t have long enough hair to do that, sugar,” he pointed out and finally did laugh when he was shot a rude gesture. “If Nicky gets expelled from school for flipping someone off, I’ll know who taught it to him.”

“Hey! I watch what I say and do when he’s in the house. Tell those assholes who work for Kane to watch their bad habits because I am not explaining what a cocksucker is to our seven year old son,” Jensen Ackles shot back, looking up from the papers and files he’d been pouring over for the last three days.

Jensen had woken up to find that Jared had let him sleep well into the evening, but discovered it had actually helped as he felt truly rested and almost human for the first time in years. He wasn’t sure if it had been finally waking up and accepting that he was safe from harm or that he was back with his true family that was helping to clear his mind a little more and make him feel better. It also let him understand more of what he would have to do in order to make sure the hate his father and men like him, like those working with him, didn’t spread.

“I want to give either a TV or a radio interview to one of those national stations who are neutral to either side so people will know they’re seeing and hearing the truth,” Jensen said when he went downstairs after waking up alone, following where he knew Jared would be when he heard the barking of Nemo and Nicky’s laugh.

The moment Jensen stepped into the living his arms were filled by his happy and laughing little boy who immediately launched into a retelling of his trip to the beach and his slumber party.

Nicky had a bag of new toys as well as some souvenirs for his fathers that he very proudly had bought with his own saved allowance money. “Chad tried to play Twister but he got all twisted up and Gen had to help him get unstuck,” he was giggling as he dove under the water in the bathtub to rinse his head of soap as Jared stood watching, since Jensen had asked if he could help Nicky with his bath that night.

“I won’t even ask what else the Sheriff got up to during your sleepover at Sam’s,” Jared could just imagine it given his friend had been even more peppy and his new Deputy had avoided Chris that entire evening after they’d brought Nicky and Nemo home.

“Sam told him if he couldn’t keep his hands to himself that she was booting him out, so he sulked but then he was good,” Nicky replied innocently, missing Jared’s groan and Jensen’s raised eyebrows. “They all told me I probably shouldn’t tell people at school too much that’s going on. Is that right?” he asked as he got dried off and then dressed in his pajamas before brushing his teeth.

“It might be best for a little bit, kiddo,” Jared replied, noticing Jensen’s frown and wanting to clarify it. “There’re some people who aren’t happy that Daddy’s back with us or with what he’s going to be doing, so to keep him and you safe it’s better that not too many people in town know too much. It’s got nothing to do with not wanting to tell people but until we make sure no one will come after him it’s better if you just go to school like normal, okay?”

Nicky looked between the men for a moment, slipping his hands into theirs as he headed for his room with Nemo following. “If… if you win this… election… will you have to leave us, Daddy?” he asked quietly.

Jensen and Jared had taken Nicky aside before his bath to try to explain things to him in case he did encounter anyone, or hear anything in school or around town that would confuse him. The men had decided to not pull their son from school yet, to give it a few days to see if such a drastic action would be required, but Jared had called the Principal at home to talk with her about what was going on and to see if she would prefer to have Nicky kept home.

“Absolutely not!” had been her adamant response. “We might not be a large town or one that’s used to trouble or the hassle of political intrigue, but we are a town determined to not allow racism or bigots to bully our children. Nicholas is one of our brighter students and I will personally assure you and your partner of his safety, Jared. Send the child to school in the morning and we’ll discuss whatever precautions that might need to be taken then.”

It was difficult to explain what was going on or how Jensen was still running for a Senate seat in Texas if he was with them in North Carolina. The only thing Nicky could focus on was that he might lose Jensen and he started to cry a little at that thought.

“No, I am not leaving you and your Daddy, Nicky,” Jensen reassured him as he tucked the little boy into his race car bed with Nemo on his puppy blanket beside the bed. “If… when I win, you guys might have to move with me to Texas for a little bit until some other decisions can be made. But no matter what, we are a family and we will stay a family,” he smiled and wiped the child’s tears with his thumb before returning the hug he was given. “Love you.”

“I love you too Daddy and you too Daddy,” Nicky giggled as Jared leaned down to kiss his forehead and then did the same to Jensen whose cheeks blushed a little at the kiss in front of their son. “G’night.”

“I guess I should’ve discussed the whole moving to Texas thing with you before opening my mouth to him?” Jensen didn’t think about that right then; all he’d wanted was to stop his little boy’s tears. Now as he and Jared headed back downstairs he realized he needed to stop speaking before he thought or talked it over with Jared.

Jared heard the worry but only shook his head. “No, because of course we’d go with you when you win,” he tugged Jensen into his arms for a moment of privacy before having to return to the real world and the men downstairs he still wasn’t sure he liked. “I love that you told him that without thinking and that we’ll always be a family. He’s still confused, so I know eventually he’ll start asking questions about where you’ve been but we’ll tackle that together. Now, let’s go plan your campaign.”

The demand to give a TV or radio interview took the men off guard but a phone call to Alaina assured Jensen that she’d set one up as soon as she could but didn’t look for it to be a problem given that nearly every newspaper, television and radio station around the country was inquiring about him and wanted their time.

That was how Jensen was now up to his eyeballs in files, papers and other campaign crap that he barely understood. However, he wanted to try given that while he knew the real reason for his run, and why Alaina was acting as his manager, he still wanted to make sure he kept some control. He didn’t plan to be used again or act as just a mouth piece. This time when he appeared in public for a speech, or more importantly the debate that Pellegrino’s office had finally agreed to, he was determined to be up to speed on everything.

The Monday morning when Jared had taken Nicky to school had been a lot more tearful and difficult than any of them had expected. Nicky was both excited to go to school like always and reluctant because he was scared Jensen might disappear if he left home for the day.

Jensen found it hard to watch the little boy go off to school with his book bag and lunch box even though he knew it was perfectly normal for Jared to get him ready and then see him off on either the bus, or take him, or let Sam take him.

“What the hell do you mean you put my son on a bus to go to school?” Jensen took Jared off guard and shocked a usually stoic Mark Sheppard who’d been in the kitchen when Jensen stormed into the room to get in Jared’s face after Nicky mentioned riding the bus at times on some mornings if his Daddy had to go to work at the same time as school started. “Is that guy at the paper so heartless that he can’t wait until you drive Nicky to school and walk him to the door to have you come in? Haven’t you read the papers or watched the TV? How many school buses wreck or get hijacked or… Kane! Tell your guy to stop smirking at me while I shout at Jared or else I’m hitting him!” he shouted out the back door where Chris was currently in the backyard talking on his cellphone.

“Well I guess that answers my question as to which of you is the wife in this relationship,” Mark snorted and then ducked as something was hurled at his head just as Chris came in the door. “What? I’m just watching Ackles go overboard on what is clearly a new parent type thing.”

Jensen snarled at him but then returned his attention to Jared, poking him in the chest with a hard finger. “You are not putting Nicky on a bus. If you can’t drive him to school and walk him to the damn door then I will,” he declared, whirling to shove a disagreeing Chris back a step. “This does not involve you or need your input. This is between Jared and me and involves our son; the son I carried for nine months and who kicked the hell out of my insides trying to come out, so mind your own business!”

“Well now I’ll have to go scrub my brain of that image thank you very much,” Mark muttered and turned to flee the kitchen while his boss met Jensen’s glare head on. “Remember the 6’4” giant behind him will break you if you touch him, Kane,” he reminded the man in warning.

“You are practically public enemy number one to a lot of people in Texas right now and you seriously think I’m letting you go anywhere without one of us?” Chris returned with a deep growl, sighing as a hand caught his. “He shoved me first, Jared.”

“Yeah, but since when are we ten year olds again, Kane?” Jared returned while tossing the man a hard look in warning as he returned to being Jensen’s sole object of attention and anger. “Yes, there have been times when I couldn’t drive him and Sam was busy that he rode the bus to school,” he agreed while trying not to lose his temper, understanding this was all new to Jensen and he would have the typical reactions of some new parents when it came to flipping out and worrying over their children. Jared recalled he’d done it plenty of times himself, and still did sometimes. “It’s not even a full sized bus, Jensen,” he said, catching Jensen’s hands before he could use them either on him or Chris again. “This isn’t Dallas or San Antonio, Jen. He’s safe here but… but until this is all settled I will take him, or if I can’t then Chad will.”

“I can drive him,” Jensen muttered but blew out a breath because he heard how childish that sounded and nodded. “I know. I’m hyperactive but… it’s weird for me to watch him go to school. And I hate that you had to do this alone for seven years.”

Jared stepped closer to wrap the man in his arms once he was sure he was calm again. “The school thing has only been going on since he was four since he went to pre-school, so three years but… I know it’s hard. He’ll be home after 3:30 and he will then regale you with how his day went, and then you can watch his homework dance if he has any cause while he loves school, we do have issues over that little thing.”

As it turned out, when Nicky came home right at 3:31, he didn’t argue with Jared over his homework. He settled in the office at a little table set up by the desk and worked on it as Jensen worked on what he called his own homework, and that was how it went.

This day would be the first that Jared had to go into the paper. Chris and Mark were down at the Sheriff’s office handling some issue that had come up that he’d only growled about before telling Matt Cohen and Justin Hartley to watch the house and Jensen.

Jensen had given a phone interview to a national radio show that had gone very well. It helped to get his story out as he’d answered the detailed but thoughtful questions honestly, and the emotions that had come with a few of those answers had shown the change in him now from how people had seen him before.

Of course there had been flack from the other side but that had been expected. His family was doing everything in their power to force the powers that be in Austin that Jensen wasn’t acting under his own power; that he’d been kidnapped and was being made to act like this and should be returned to his family at once. When those complaints had been laughed at, they turned nasty and began to cast doubt on Jensen’s mental abilities by releasing bits and pieces of doctored medical files.

Alaina immediately fired back by releasing a few of the actual files that in turned showed how Richard and Jane Ackles had illegally admitted their adult son into a hospital and what was done to him there. So far no one had physically came to cause trouble, but Chris wasn’t letting his guard down and neither was Jared who took his son to school every day and picked him up.

“If I don’t get out of the meeting in time, either Sam or Chad will bring Nicky home,” he told Jensen as he went over to lean down and meet his lips in a slow kiss that made Jensen smile despite the headache of too many files and too much crap he still had to try to process by the time they had to go to Austin. “Take a break before he gets home, Jen. You look like you’re getting a headache.”

It still amused Jensen that Jared could tell when he was not feeling well or when he was stressed out; he could feel the building pain behind his eyes from reading too much. It reminded him that he needed to get new glasses now that he could wear them again.

“Are you gonna make me look good in this expose, Jay?” Jensen teased while walking Jared to the door. He noticed how empty the house felt without Nicky but there was also something else that was bothering him, he just couldn’t place what that was right then and so he shrugged it off as too much worry.

“You don’t have to be made to look good, sugar,” Jared told him with a laugh as he picked up his car keys. With a glance out the front window he noticed a dark car across the street and decided to mention to Chris that his lookouts needed to be a little less obvious. “According to both Danneel’s sources and your own manager’s, the public in Texas have already started to adore you and a good bit of the rest of the country would vote for you if they could. That radio spot you’ve done, the bits that Jeff put out to his buddy at the Associated Press, and what Alaina has released has done a lot to explain things and you’ll finish it all on Sunday.”

The debate in Austin still scared Jensen: phone interviews were different than being in the same room with people who’d hurt him, who now wanted him dead since what he knew could send them to prison or worse. It worried him that his family or their supporters hadn’t made a stronger, physical effort because he was well aware of his father’s temper. Now, Jensen was getting more paranoid every day that nothing happened even though both Jared and Chris assured him that everything was fine.

“Call me when you get to the paper?” Jensen couldn’t shake the odd feeling that something was wrong and he doubted if he would until both Jared and Nicky were home safe that night. “Humor me, Jared. Call me.”

Jared paused just outside the door to come back inside and look at Jensen, reading the worry that seemed stronger than it had been the last few days. “What’s got you scared, Jen?” he asked, not giving any thought that they were standing in an open door, in full view. The black car suddenly sped off just as Matt Cohen came walking up the sidewalk to make a gagging motion as he spotted them.

“Nothing, it’s… just too many worries and not knowing what my folks or their supporters, much less Pellegrino, are going to do to try to stop me,” Jensen shrugged it off while returning Jared’s embrace and rolling his eyes at Matt. “Go on. Go help with the paper. I might actually try to sleep this headache off with the sulky puppy until you and Nicky get home.”

As it so happened, Jensen had noticed the puppy _did_ sulk almost as much as he did when the little boy left for school. So that day he stretched out on the sofa with Nemo beside the couch until he heard the phone in the kitchen ringing.

Sitting up with a wince as his still sore ribs ached from the sudden change in position, Jensen couldn’t recall the phone ringing in the middle of the day since he’d been there except for earlier when Jared had called. He was wary about answering since Chris had told Jensen not to answer the phone in case any assholes managed to get Jared’s unlisted number, but when neither Matt nor Justin picked it up and it started ringing again he walked in to grab it just as Justin was busting in the back door to do the same thing.

“Hello,” Jensen greeted blandly while shooting a questioning gesture to the Federal agent when he tossed one look at him for answering the phone.

“Is Jared available?” a female voice with a thick Southern drawl asked in a hurried tone.

Jensen blinked and pushed the odd spurt of jealously down. “No, he’s at work right now,” he replied, shoving Justin’s hand away from the phone; determined not to be a complete prisoner again even if it was to protect him. “Can I take a message or tell him who’s calling?”

There was a short pause as if the woman was considering her options. “Is… is this Mr. Ackles?” she asked cautiously, going on at his silence. “I’m the principal at Nicholas’s school and there’s a… there’s a person here demanding to be allowed to take him but he’s not on the updated list of people who Jared allows to pick up his son. This Mr. Collins said he’s Mr. Ackles campaign manager but…”

“No! Do not allow that son of a bitch near my son,” Jensen’s whole attitude changed and his tone dropped from cautious Texas drawl to downright pissed off and furious. “Misha Collins is not to take Nicky anywhere! You call the goddamn Sheriff and tell him he’s on school property, but do not let him take Nicky out of that school. I’m on my way!”

The phone slammed into the base. “Call your boss! Call Jared! Tell them that Collins is at the school and he’s… he’s after Nicky!” he snapped to Justin as he was turning to find the set of keys to the car still in the garage, jerking back when a hand grabbed his wrist. “Don’t touch me and don’t try to tell me that I’m not going anywhere because if you do I will put you on the floor, Fed or not!”

“Jensen, you can’t just… damn it! What?” Justin grabbed for the phone when it rang again. He listened to the excited voice before breaking in. “No, this is Special Agent Hartley. Now what’s the… what the hell do you mean the asshole just fired shots inside the classroom and shot a… Jensen! Oh crap, there goes my promotion,” he muttered before shouting for a confused Matt to get his ass after Jensen before he turned his attention back to the phone. “I don’t suppose that school of yours has a shotgun handy? Of course not. Call 911. Report it as shots fired and you need Agent Kane for a red alert ASAP!” he snapped and hung up, bolting outside to see it was too late to stop Jensen. “We’re so screwed,” he told Matt Cohen who was demanding to know what the hell was happening. “Call Kane. Tell him… tell him Collins is after the kid and we lost Ackles.”

It never occurred to Jensen that he didn’t know where the school was in Birkshead, North Carolina. It didn’t occur to him to call Jared or the Sheriff. Nothing occurred to him except the fact that Nicky was in danger and he’d die before he ever let Misha Collins touch his son.

The moment he heard Justin say something about shots being fired, Jensen’s common sense went out the window and he was out the door with Nemo following him. He’d grabbed a set of keys in a bowl by the door with hopes they were to the car in the garage, the car that had brought him to Jared and Nicky.

He heard Matt demanding to know what was happening but Jensen didn’t take the time to answer. All he wanted was to get to the school, to get to his son and stop Collins from either abducting him or doing something so much worse.

“He’s not getting Nicky,” Jensen kept telling himself as well as the whining, large puppy who was sitting in the sit beside him. “I’ll…” he looked down to realize the car was equipped to make hands free calls. He pulled at his distracted thoughts to recall the name of the paper to tell the device to make the call and then he was demanding Jared be put on.

It took longer than he liked to get through to Jared since the man who’d answered the phone hadn’t wanted to bother Jared but finally, after Jensen snapped, he was reluctantly put through to his husband and then before Jared could ask what was wrong, Jensen rushed through just as he caught sight of what he hoped was the elementary school in the distance.

“He’s after Nicky! Misha! He tried to take him and the school wouldn’t let him so he’s shooting and I’m not letting him hurt our baby. I’ll… I’ll give him whatever he wants if he lets Nicky go, so you need to come to the school and get him and protect him and…” Jensen took a deep breath to continue, ignoring Jared’s questions and the voices in the background as he heard Nemo suddenly growl and felt his heart nearly stutter to a stop as he looked ahead and saw what he did. “No! He’s trying to drag Nicky into some kind of black car with dark windows. I’m not letting this happen, Jared. No matter what happens to me now, just raise our son, but keep him away from my parents and Collins.

“I love you, Jared Padalecki. I love you and our son. Make sure he knows that and… if this goes bad and I don’t see you again… I want you to find someone that makes you happy and will love our son, Jay. You’re a good father and you should have someone who can give you more babies and happiness. Now, I’m going to go beat the crap out of someone.”

He disconnected on a furiously yelling Jared, wishing he could wait for the cops and maybe hoping he could stall until either the Sheriff or Chris showed up, but as Jensen slammed the car to a stop to see the terror on his little boy’s white, tear streaked face and the rage on Misha Collins’s red face, he didn’t think stalling was in the cards.

“Misha, stop!” he shouted as he stepped from the car, a quivering Nemo right beside him and Jensen could almost feel the large pup wanting to lunge at the man hurting Nicky, but he held back. “Collins! Let my son go!”

Misha Collins was a man of average height, build and intelligence. He relied more on the money his parents had to buy him what he wanted than working for it himself. At 5’11” he usually could overpower most of the whores he chose to use because he picked the weaker ones that he could bully.

Jensen Ackles, the re-educated former gay son of his parents’ friends, had been the first man he’d picked to keep as a sex toy and eventual slave that was taller than him and built better and possibly stronger. He’d chosen him for several reasons, including his looks since Misha would never fuck someone ugly as he felt that was beneath him.

He also chose Jensen because he was basically already a slut and a fixed one at that so he didn’t have to worry about any unwanted pregnancies since old man Ackles, ashamed at not only his son being gay but also a dreaded carrier of that damn male pregnancy gene had fixed his body when he fixed his head to be no better than a damn mindless fuck toy and robot.

He’d also chosen Jensen because all he had to do to get him was play nice with the Ackles’ family, pretend to run a useless campaign that was already rigged to fail, and make sure the puppet didn’t get any bruises on his pretty face and was kept docile until Pellegrino won the Senate race. Then the prick would be ‘shot’ and ‘die’ in front of his adoring fans when in reality, he’d be locked in a nice quiet cabin Misha was preparing for them and would be kept drugged and chained for his personal use only.

He’d get a 24/7 toy, as well as a good chunk of money from Richard Ackles for taking his useless son and embarrassment off his hands. Or at least that was the plan before that no good faggot had showed up at the debate and ruined four years of well-laid plans.

Not only had Jensen begun to act out, but he’d escaped his father’s mansion and managed to find his way to some hick town in North Carolina where he somehow had regained a good chunk of his memories; memories that could send a lot of people, Misha included, to prison for what they’d been doing or was about to do.

Now he was actually trying to challenge Mark Pellegrino for the Senate seat and from the looks of the polls? The little freak could actually win if something wasn’t done and done soon.

Pellegrino and Ackles were content with waiting. They were going to let the debate take place this coming Sunday because the older Ackles was confident he and his people could regain control of Jensen easily enough once he was away from the Padalecki chump; except Misha wasn’t willing to wait or take that chance. He wanted what he considered his property and he wanted him now.

It sickened him that Jensen had his memories back. Misha might be bi-sexual but he didn’t mess with gays or their kind because that too, was beneath him. He was making an exception for Jensen because he knew his Daddy had promised to make sure this time, when they broke his mind of those thoughts and memories of being gay and having given birth to some bastard brat, that he’d be nothing but a drooling vegetable.

Of course the first thing the former campaign manager planned to do was get rid of the damn kid so no one could DNA test it and verify that it was indeed Jensen’s child. He expected easy access from these damn hicks but yet, when he strode into the simple school demanding the child he was met with a steely eyed bitch who flat out told him to go back to where he came from because he wasn’t getting close to any child in her school and especially not the Padalecki boy. So Misha decided to take matters into his own hands once again.

He’d come armed so he just shot the teacher who tried to stop him and he easily picked out the rugrat he thought looked like Jensen. He was in the process of dragging the screaming, crying brat out of the school after he’d fired a few more rounds with the plans to toss him into the car and use him to get Jensen’s attention, slinging promises that he’d kill the brat when he heard a sharp voice snap his name; a voice he knew but he frowned at the tone and made a note that he would definitely have to teach his toy better manners as soon as he got him alone.

“ _Daddy_!” the brat screamed as soon as he spotted Jensen on the sidewalk next to some ugly looking hairy beast and Misha tightened his grip while back handing him.

“Shut up!” he yelled, disgusted and furious at the lengths he had to go to. “Jensen, I was planning on picking you up after I dealt with this little piece of trash. You’re so eager to escape Padalecki that you…”

“Get your goddamn hands off my son before I take that pistol and shove it up your ass, Collins,” Jensen’s voice was pure hate as he took in Nicky’s scared face and small frame squirming to get free of the scary man who was hurting him and who’d hurt his teacher.

The sight of his abuser had made Jensen’s stomach clench. It was so hard to not cringe in fear but the fury was a lot more in control than his fear of Misha at the moment. When he saw him strike his son Jensen was pissed even more.

“You don’t have to pretend now, Jensen. I’m here to take you back to Texas, back to the doctors so they can make you well again,” Misha snarled at the fighting kid and prepared to hit him with the handle of his pistol, only to stop when Jensen spoke again. “What did you say?”

“I said let Nicky go and I’ll do whatever you want,” it sickened Jensen to say those words because he knew only too well what the bastard would want from him, what he’d do. But if it meant keeping his son safe, then he’d do it in a heartbeat. “He’s just a little boy, Misha. You don’t have to hurt him. It’s me you want. Let my son go…”

“Stop saying that!” Misha screamed in a blind rage, aiming the gun at Jensen before pulling it back to press it hard into a whimpering child’s neck. “He’s not your kid. You can’t have kids! Men cannot have kids and those who can… those aren’t real children! They’re abominations! This thing is an abomination and…”

Jensen managed to catch the child’s frightened eyes to offer a small smile. “Nicky, stop fighting,” he told him, ignoring Misha’s rant and the anger it filled him with to focus on his son.

He could hear people from the school coming out but knew with a crazy man with a gun involved, they’d stay back. Jensen could hear sirens but knew they’d arrive too late. He had to act now to get his son away from the man who was clearly a lot more unbalanced than even he’d originally thought.

Murmuring to the quivering dog to stay where he was, Jensen took slow steps until he was close enough to see the craziness in his former manager’s eyes. “I’ll go with you, Misha. I’ll… do whatever you say if you give him to me for just a moment,” he heard someone shouting the police were coming but all Jensen saw was his little scared boy trying to reach for him. “He can’t hurt you, Misha. He’s a little boy and you’re scaring him.”

“He’s a monster!” Misha screamed and then grunted when a fist nailed him in the jaw causing him to stumble back and lose his grip on the brat.

Jensen hadn’t known he was going to throw a punch until he felt his fist connect with the soft jaw. He saw a flash a surprise as Misha fell back, dropping both his gun and his hold on Nicky which Jensen immediately took advantage of.

He quickly grabbed his son into his arms, hearing Nicky sob his name but Jensen knew he couldn’t get him far enough away from Misha without endangering Nicky or other innocent people. He made a fast decision when he saw what he assumed was the principal, an older woman with greying hair and sneakers, hurrying toward them even as someone else was screaming behind her.

“Nicky, go with this lady and Nemo. Hide with her until your Daddy comes for you and Jared is coming for you,” he told him as he gave the child a tight hug before unlocking his tiny but long arms from around his neck to give a shaky smile that he hoped look calm. “I love you and your Daddy, little man,” he told him, voice threatening to break from both fear and love. “I’ll make sure you both stay safe. Now you run,” he told him and gave the frightened child a nudge toward the reaching woman even as the dog leaped to protect the child. Jensen was already spinning on his heel to stand and whirl, taking the bullet in his shoulder as a fist struck him hard and he felt himself falling even as he distantly heard sirens and his son screaming for him.

“Daddy!” Nicky didn’t want to go with his Principal. He wanted to cling to his Daddy, he wanted his Daddy to take him and hide from the yucky bad man until his other Daddy and Chad got there. As Mrs. Price was pulling him back and Nemo was leaping up, he heard a shot and spun to see his Daddy fall. Then he watched in terror as the bad man with the gun kicked his Daddy before dragging him into the black car and driving away with him. “NOOOO! Daddy! Come back! Dadddyyy!” he screamed and tried to run after the car with Nemo and his teachers chasing after him when he suddenly heard another voice and whirled just to be scooped into Jared’s strong arms. As his Daddy dropped down to the sidewalk with him, Nicky fought against his hold, the child didn’t want coddled. He wanted his Daddy back! “No! Let go and go get Daddy!” he tried to say but was sobbing too badly to make sense. “He… the bad man… he shot and took Daddy! Daddy’s gone!”

Jared Padalecki had been in a case of shock from the moment Jensen had called. He’d only understood half of his partner’s words but the words he did understand had chilled him and he’d ran every red-light in Birkshead to get to the school, only to see he and the arriving cops were too late as he held his sobbing, clinging child.

There were multiple voices chiming in. Some demanding to know what was happening while others were trying to answer all at the same time. But the only one Jared heard was Nicky’s voice and the only ones that registered was ‘Daddy’s gone’ and Jared felt his world collapse one more time.

**TBC**


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does contain violence and attempted rape.

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Thirteen**

The moment his sobbing, terrified seven year old son told him that his Daddy had been shot and was gone with the bad man, it felt like Jared’s world collapsed again. He was once again the same frightened young man who’d come home to his sobbing infant in an empty house. The only difference this time, as he made his brain settle back into rational thought, was he knew his best friend, boyfriend, husband by mock license had not left of his own free will.

Jensen had been taken, had been shot and kidnapped by some sociopathic nut and Jared had no doubt why and what would happen if he couldn’t find Jensen and fast.

Jared picked Nicky up into his arms and while trying to soothe his sobs and tears, he sat him on the hood of his car. Ambulances and more cop cars, both local Sheriff and State troopers, began arriving as well as worried parents who’d heard reports of shots being fired in the school.

“Nicky, I am going to get Daddy back. The bad man is not going to take him too far or hurt him,” he promised the child as Nemo whined beside him and he petted the dog. “Now, did he hurt you?” he asked as he saw bruises and some blood on Nicky’s face. Gen appeared at his side with a paramedic to check on the child while whispering that Chris wanted to see him.

Jared wanted to see Chris Kane too, but he thought probably not for the same reason. He pushed that down for the moment until he reassured his son that he was safe and to stay with Gen for a moment. Then he headed for the area where a furious Chris was shouting into a phone while Chad was eyeing a map with Mark and a chagrined looking Justin and Matt.

“I want every road in and out of this goddamn town, the county, hell, just shut every major and minor highway leading out of this state down until we pin this bastard down!” Chris was saying to whoever he was on the phone with. “I don’t give a damn! Call in the National Guard! Collins just kidnapped a man running for the United States Senate and someone with a no contact order on him! I want that car found and I want Misha Collins shot!

“He doesn’t know the area and hasn’t got that much of a lead. The local Sheriff’s office had cruisers blocking every road out of town but in case he gets by… oh crap… uh? Oh, no, I’m not talking to you, sir. I have Ackles pissed off husband heading my way and… I’m not sure I’ll stop him from taking a swing at me this time,” Chris tossed the phone to Mark as he turned to face Jared. “I swear, I don’t know how the hell he pulled this off. Alaina’s trying to find out who was responsible for keeping Collins under watch in Texas and… yeah, I knew that was coming,” he sighed as his head snapped back and he tasted blood. “I supposed I could point out that Justin told Jensen to stay put but he didn’t… I’m only giving you one more free shot, kiddo.”

“Jensen was told a man who hurt him, used him, and planned to do it again was shooting our son’s school up and was attempting to take Nicky. Did you honestly think Jensen in that frame of mind wouldn’t come here himself?” Jared stared at the man like he was insane. “This is the guy who screamed at me for putting Nicky on a school bus, Chris! He was trying to protect our son from some nut that shouldn’t have been allowed out of Texas without you knowing it!”

Chris was nodding. He agreed with the enraged young father on everything, including that his team had just majorly screwed up.

“The State cops are sealing the bridges and all roads out of the county. They’re also starting to search all the cars, so even if he switches vehicles they’ll still find him,” Matt Cohen reported when Chad Michael Murray’s head popped up from looking at the large, state map looking pissed off. “Uh-oh.”

“That son of a bitch just rammed one of my deputies off the road leading out of town, but Mitch said he got the plate number. I think we can head him off if he keeps on the road he was on but…” Chad paused to glance at Jared warily. “He wasn’t sure if Jensen was conscious or not. He caught a glimpse but then the asshole was shooting out the window at him. Is this guy crazy or what?”

Jared was looking back to see Nicky staring at him with his thumb in his mouth, stubbornly shaking his head at Gen who tried to correct him on the long ago broken habit. “No, he’s desperate and that makes him dangerous,” he said, poking Chris in the chest. “Give me a second to settle him with Gen and then I’m coming with you.”

Chris opened his mouth to argue but then just snapped it shut with a mutter as Justin held out the phone with news that Alaina was on the line and highly pissed at them for allowing this to happen.

“Hey, I need you to let Gen take you to Sam’s house with Nemo until I get back with Daddy,” he told his son, brushing his hand over soft blond hair. “I know this is pretty scary and I wish I could say Daddy was going to be okay when I bring him back but… I think you know the bad man hurt him and might hurt him more… I will bring him home, okay?”

Nicky nodded but reached out to be held again before letting Gen take him. “Daddy said he was protecting us but…” he cocked his head as he stared at Jared while other raised voices could be heard. “Daddy? Am I a monster ‘cause Daddy had me?” he asked in a small voice, moving his eyes over to where a couple parents could be seen shouting at the Principal and glaring at Jared. “You and Sam… even my teachers say it’s not bad for guys to have babies so… why did that bad man scream it at Daddy that I wasn’t his or…”

“Some people still don’t understand that God makes people the way he wants them to be made, Nicky,” Jared heard the shouts and guessed those were the parents of the bully in school that had been bothering his son. As he looked over to meet their hateful glare he smirked as he noticed the new reporter on the paper, Tom Welling, heading over to speak with them and Jared could just imagine the story the obviously bigoted Welling would try to get past Jeff’s watchful gaze.

“Your Daddy was made to have babies because God wanted it that way but… people like that bad man hurt him so he can’t anymore. It’s people like that man and others that Daddy’s trying to stop by running for that office, and that’s another reason he was taken but Chad and I are going to find him and bring him home,” Jared told the child while making sure he and Nemo were safe with Gen as Justin was ordered to go with them, just in case Collins wasn’t the only moron from Texas that was loose.

Watching the Deputy’s cruiser drive off, Jared took a long moment to settle his growing nerves before turning to stalk to the large black SUV that Chris was waiting by as Chad got in his Sheriff’s car. “Let’s go find my husband and kick that bastard’s ass back to Texas,” he growled but couldn’t quite dispel the fear that was filling him and wished he’d paid more attention to Jensen’s concerns earlier or reported seeing that damn black car.

When he mentioned seeing it outside the house earlier, Chris stared at him and then was on the phone to his superior to tell her that they needed to move the whole operation to a safer location until this was settled, and didn’t think this time he’d get any disagreement from a grim and silent Jared. “We’re going to find him, Jared,” he said as they sped off down the street, leaving several other newly arrived agents and Federal marshals to handle the clean-up at the school. “I didn’t pull him out of that hell and send him to you just to let that asshole grab him back. He’s not making it out of this county, much less the state with Jensen. I swear or else you can kick my ass.”

“Oh, I plan to do that anyway,” Jared muttered and then turned to stare out the windows while running through his fingers what he’d found clutched in Nicky’s hand. ‘Hang on, Jensen. I’m not losing you again,’ he thought silently as he slipped the gold ring into his pocket until he could return it to its owner.

**\-------**

Searing pain in his shoulder as well as his head and face, nausea rolling dangerously in his stomach and the loud, furious voice of a madman brought Jensen Ackles back to slight consciousness.

Jensen’s head was foggy but the earlier events soon came back to him. He could still see the frightened face of his son as an enraged Misha Collins tried to abduct him from the Elementary school. He recalled trying to reason with the former campaign manager only to realize just how obsessed the man truly was. He submitted to doing the only thing that Jensen knew to in order to protect Nicky.

The last thing Jensen remembered was hearing the gunshot, feeling the pain in his shoulder as well as a hard punch to his face, and then hearing his child screaming before he lost consciousness. Now as he slowly came around he could tell he was in a moving car and could hear the ranting going on beside him.

“Your parents and I are greatly disappointed in your actions, Jensen. Of course, I understand you were kidnapped, taken away from your medication as well as your doctors, but still! You’ve made quite a scene and trouble that will be hard to clean up,” Misha was clucking his tongue, talking even though the man he’d just kidnapped was still unconscious. “Your father swears that this time his doctors will make sure you remain obedient and we’ll make certain these fake memories you’ve come up with, or were put into your head by that awful faggot, will never come back. Of course, I might take care of that myself since you belong to me anyway…”

“The hell I do,” Jensen gritted, words slurred and he wasn’t sure if that was from shock or from the needle he could see discarded on the floor. He felt fear start to build at what might happen if he was given too many of the drugs. He didn’t want to forget Jared and Nicky and he knew that was what would happen if he couldn’t escape or… die. “What… what did you give me?”

“Just a strong sedative for now mixed with a little of your medication,” Misha replied with a shrug, looking over with a sneering smile. “As soon as we’re out of this goddamn state I’ll untie you, but for now you’re still too wild and unreasonable from whatever that… person did to you. I lost some time tying you up and we’ll have to stop soon to get you out of those ridiculous clothes. Of course, I can’t keep you how I plan to until we reach our new home but I have some more suitable clothing for you.”

“Kill me now because you will never touch me again, asshole,” Jensen tried to clear his eyes to see his wrists had been bound together and then tied to a short piece of rope that was connected to the bonds that tied his ankles together. “I’d rather be dead then let you rape me or be used to hurt people like my parents and that other bastard was doing.”

Misha looked over as if surprised by his reaction. “It’s not rape if I was given permission, Jensen,” he scoffed, glancing into the rearview mirror before speeding up despite the winding and curving roads. “And of course your father and Pellegrino used you. You were the perfect mouth piece and will be again once we get you all fixed up.”

“I never gave you permission to fuck me or ugh!” Jensen’s head bounced off the side window as he was punched viciously and then dragged closer to the furious driver when fingers grabbed his face.

“You don’t get a goddamn say, freak!” Misha screamed angrily. He couldn’t believe the gall and attitude this damaged little half-wit was giving him. “Your father gave me the only permission I need to fuck you! I have a signed contract that says your useless ass is mine and that’s why I came to this hick town to drag you out of this little fairy tale you’ve built. You are mine! You are going to be my good little plaything and you will learn to keep that mouth shut unless it’s being used for something useful or else I’ll make sure your Daddy’s doctors fry that head totally this time!”

“Fuck you and fuck my father!” Jensen jerked back away from the grabbing fingers but couldn’t move his hands enough to try to hit the man or defend himself when the car swerved dangerously as Misha backhanded him hard enough that he tasted blood. Then he felt rough fingers start to grab at the button and zipper of his jeans as if trying to get inside to grope him. “No! No, damn you! I’m not letting you touch… mhmm!”

The large black car jerked off the side of the road where a large outcropping of trees stood to partially shield it from any casual passersby; not that the driver gave a damn. He was more concerned with proving who was in charge to this mouthy little prick that was nothing like the mute and obedient lapdog he’d watched and waited for the chance to own fully.

To the rich and spoiled Misha, he’d put up with enough these past four years or so. He’d tried to force Richard Ackles into giving him his son early on in their agreement, but the man had insisted it had to be after the campaign and only after they’d faked his death so no one would get suspicious. He’d been humored with just taking the young man at various times, or making due with long weekends after campaign appearances where he could have Jensen drugged to the point where he couldn’t fight since even ordered to submit to him the jackass still tried to resist his charms and games.

Of course if Misha were honest with himself, he enjoyed the rough stuff. He enjoyed cuffing Jensen, or tying him to the bed or over a desk while he took him. He really enjoyed watching that confused fear on his face and he looked forward to seeing that now. Except… as he swerved the car off the road so he could have both hands free after Jensen actually tried to jerk away from him, he didn’t see that fear.

He’d seen a flash of fear when he’d held his weapon to that monster brat’s head, but even that had been fleeting and replaced by something he wasn’t accustomed to seeing on Jensen’s rugged and usually thin face: fury.

Even now as he slammed the car into park, left it running and quickly moved so he was using his body to pin the struggling man on the passenger seat while shoving a rag into his mouth to shut him up and to stop his refusals, there wasn’t fear in those deep green eyes; there was hate and a stubbornness that Misha was determined to both beat and drug out of the prick until he got him back to how he wanted Jensen: docile and obedient.

“I wanted to wait until we’d put some distance between ourselves and this hellhole you thought you could hide in, but since it seems you can’t wait for me to fuck you and start your punishment for being a bad boy. I guess I’ll take the time,” Misha smirked as he applied his full weight while straddling Jensen’s body as the younger man tried to buck him off but couldn’t get the leverage with how his hands and feet were tied and linked together.

“The damn morons in this town probably won’t even be looking for us yet. I’ll have time to show you whose boss and also to remind you that no one else touches you but me, Jensen!” he snarled, punching Jensen several more times while working to tug open his shirt and get into his jeans while grinding down on where his hands were trapped between their bodies. “Shut up! Just shut up!” he shouted angrily and grabbed Jensen’s throat to try to stop his muffled shouts and curses while working to also get the passenger seat slid back more and also lowered to give him better freedom of movement.

Jensen’s body was pinned, his hands trapped and it was getting harder to hold down the sick panic that was building as he struggled to make it as difficult as possible for Misha Collins to get his clothes tore open so he could do what he so obviously planned and was bragging even now about.

“I’ve been waiting months to have you alone,” he was saying in between breathless moans as he finally tore open Jensen’s shirt and then worked his one hand into his half opened jeans to begin to grope and fondle him. “I always knew Kane was trouble for your old man and me, and I know he was the one behind your escape. He actually thought he could threaten me if I ever touched you or drugged you again,” Misha bit down hard on Jensen’s neck, licking over the blood he tasted. “Hmm, did that freak touch you, baby? Did you let him have his way with this tight ass that only belongs to your Misha?”

It was hard for Jensen not to throw up as lewd and degrading comments were moaned and whispered against his ear while hot breath and wet lips touched his face; a tongue forced its way past the rag in his mouth and that caused him to renew his struggle to get the would-be rapist off of him, only to gag when a series of hard blows hit his head and stomach to halt his resistance. Then the terror built as he caught sight of a needle in the man’s fist a moment before it was stuck in his neck.

“I’ll put you in a damn coma! I don’t give a fuck! I just want your damn body and I don’t care if you’re a drooling mess or not! So long as I can stick my cock in your ass or mouth, anything else is extra!” Misha screamed, enraged that even now Jensen was trying to refuse him. He used another one of the injections he’d grabbed from the Ackles’ home before using his own family’s money to locate where that freakish giant had come from when he’d ruined a perfect plan. “You are mine! You will never belong to anyone else! I’ll kill you or them before anyone claims what is mine!”

A series of furious, enraged fists and slaps pushed a helpless Jensen back to the brink of unconsciousness but while he longed for the bliss of that, he tried to fight it out of fear of losing himself thanks to the drugs he could once again feel burning his veins and making his thoughts blurry, foggy and hard to focus on anything but the orders being shouted at him.

Feeling his body going limp and pliant from drugs and pain, Jensen struggled to keep his eyes open past the swelling he knew would be there. His shoulder was bleeding but he didn’t care about that. In fact, he had enough of himself left to pray he did bleed out because he’d rather die now than be made into nothing but a mindless slave again.

“Good. Good boy, there’s my good whore,” Misha was now crooning as he watched his captive’s body going limp. He still wasn’t willing to take too many chances, so he wrapped a piece of rope around the seat to secure Jensen’s chest and arms and only then did he slide backwards so he could kneel in the foot well of the large car. “I knew you’d see reason once I pumped you full of those nice drugs your Daddy liked to use so much.”

Jensen tried to tune out the droning sick man as he worked his jeans down enough to fully get his hand inside to grope his cock but quickly moved past that to try to get his fingers inside his ass; pain hit him but he was finding it harder to stay in the present and a single tear slipped down his cheek as he realized what was happening.

He didn’t want to forget Jared or their son but even as Jensen worked to ignore the sick things being done and said, he was losing himself in the fog. He heard Misha grunting as he worked his hand up to molest him, he struggled to lock onto green eyes, a dimpled smile with freckles as well as Jared’s deep drawling voice but was almost under. Suddenly the glass in the back window shattered and a sharp voice was heard shouting through a megaphone.

“Hey dickwad! This is the Birkshead Sheriff telling you to throw out your goddamn gun, release your hostage, and come out of that damn car in the next five seconds or else the next time you stick your mangy head up into view, my sharpshooter will blow a hole in it!!” Chad Michael Murray was pissed and it showed in his voice as he threw the megaphone down to pull his pistol as he glanced around him. “Your show now, big man,” he told the glowering Feds while hoping he could keep an anxious Jared out of the way for a few minutes more.

Chris Kane had gotten the word via a helicopter sent from the Highway Patrol that they’d spotted the car pulled off into some trees and he had no doubt why even if he’d hoped he’d be wrong. “We can’t take the car out so long as he’s got Jensen,” he said into his earpiece as he spoke to his sniper. “If you get a clear shot at Collins, take it but do not endanger Jensen.”

Jared had stepped out of the SUV. He wanted to charge the car, pull the asshole out by his throat and beat him to death, but he’d been growled at about endangering Jensen by doing any stunts given that they weren’t sure how well armed the man might be.

The sight of the running car parked off the side of the road as if swerved there hastily had Jared’s heart in his throat as he tried to keep his eyes on the men with the experience in handling this type of stuff but they kept trailing back to the car, heart pounding with fear for the man he loved.

“Jensen!” he shouted suddenly, ignoring the snap of his name from behind him. “Jensen if you can hear me, then you hang on, sugar! I am getting you out of this and I am taking you home to our son!”

Shots suddenly rang out from the car toward the men but they were wild and just hit the SUV and one of the headlights in the Sheriff’s cruiser.

“Take out the tires!” Chris snapped when he caught sight of movement in the car and guessed the former manager of Jensen’s campaign was trying to get back behind the wheel to put the car in gear and flee. “Shoot the tires and make sure he’s blocked in up ahead if he does get that piece of shit car on the road.”

“He won’t,” Chad smirked. “It’s rained recently and that’s soft dirt so that car ain’t going anywhere but down more if he tries to gas it. I love city boys.”

Misha was furious at the interruptions. He was even more furious when he heard Jared shouting encouragement to Jensen. “He’s not taking you anywhere,” he snarled after he’d shot twice and then tried to put his car into gear to speed back to the road and take off, only to feel the car only move a little as it then seemed to sink into soft earth while shots were fired into the tires. “No!” he screamed while slamming his fists against the steering wheel. “I am not letting them take what’s mine! They won’t shoot so long as I have you so c’mon baby, you’re getting us out of here one way or another.”

“There’s movement on the passenger side!” Justin Hartley reported from where he was stationed with a sniper rifle. “I can see Collins… shit! He’s using Ackles as a shield!”

“Hold your fire! I repeat do not fire! He’s using his hostage as a shield!” Chris shouted to his men while Chad was radioing his own few Deputies and those from the State Police to hold back as well. “Collins! Let Jensen go!”

The voice of the despised ex-bodyguard had Misha spitting in the dirt while pulling a limp and barely conscious Jensen out of the car after he’d cut the rope holding him to the seat but he was still bound, bruised, bloodied and half undressed.

“Hold your ground, kid,” Mark Sheppard hissed to a trembling Jared as he leveled his own weapon. “We’ve got a kill order right?” he asked his team leader casually.

“So long as you or Justin can get a clean hit then he’s yours,” Chris replied, eyes hard as he took the scene in with a skilled eye and one look had his blood boiling. “Have a team of EMTs standing by for when I get Jensen loose,” he told the Sheriff out of the corner of his mouth. “Gunshot wound right shoulder that’s still bleeding, multiple bruises but he’s drugged him… so that’s a whole other can of worms.”

Chad was trying to see what Chris was but then before he could he was cursing as Jared stepped out from behind the cover of the cars. “Jared! What the hell… oh hell, this sucks!”

“Let him go!” Jared snapped, eyes locked on Jensen’s bruised, bloodied, swollen face to see a glimpse of glassy, confused green eyes and felt his stomach dropping at that implication. “Let Jensen go!”

“Shut up! He’s mine! He’s been mine for years and I’m not giving him up to some faggot!” Misha screamed. He’d locked one arm tight around Jensen’s chest to keep him in front of him to use as a shield as he backed toward the tree line, more in thoughts of losing these assholes in the woods and then hitching a ride or stealing some hick’s car. “This is all your fault! You came and ruined him! You took him and put lies in his head!”

“No, I let him see the truth about who he was and who he is,” Jared countered as he took another step forward, stopping when a bullet whizzed by his ear and someone shouted for him to get his overgrown ass down. “No. I’m not hiding behind some cars while this bastard takes my husband and Nicky’s father. The only way you’re taking Jensen anywhere is over my dead body.”

Chad groaned and Chris was swearing while snapping orders to his people that if they had any shot to take it even if they had to graze the already wounded man. “Collins does not leave this spot,” he ordered and saw Mark nod his understanding.

“I’ll gladly make it over your dead body!” Misha jammed the barrel of his pistol under Jensen’s jaw to force his head up. “Look! You look at this freak as I shoot him in his heart and know that this is what happens to anyone who tries to take what is mine!”

Misha’s droning screeching voice barely penetrated the fog in Jensen’s mind. He was drifting more into his own memories again when another voice suddenly brought him back enough to hear Jared’s voice speaking and as he blinked blurry eyes, he saw his husband standing less than six feet away.

Seeing Jared, hearing him speak, broke through some of the fog Jensen was fighting. Then he heard Misha threatening to shoot him and something inside Jensen broke. He thought of their son alone, frightened, confused if he lost both of his parents to a madman’s hate and sick needs.

As Misha’s arm moved to aim the pistol at an unwavering Jared, Jensen reacted in the only way he currently could given he was tied, gagged, and falling quickly into a numb state of mind that he only prayed didn’t leave him helpless or forgetful of his family again.

“Jared! Move!” Chris shouted when he saw the pistol swinging away from Jensen to aim at the other man. “Damn it! Hartley! Sheppard! Take your shots!” he ordered while bolting out of cover to maybe draw the shot away from Jared. “Collins! Hey! Remember me, asshole?”

Misha had seen Chris and he longed to put a bullet in his arrogant face as well, but first he planned to remove what he saw as the biggest threat to his future and that was the 6’4” prick that was staring right at what belonged to him.

He swung the pistol toward Jared, finger moving to pull the trigger when all of a sudden the limp body he was using as a shield moved with a soft, strained muffled cry to shove forward to deflect his aim away from his target and into the dirt only there was no bullet; only an empty sounding click as the pistol was empty.

“No, you useless bastard!” he screamed, hitting Jensen in the temple with the butt of the pistol and forgetting the others around them as he went to lash out at Jensen who was already falling to the ground with a whimpered groan. “I’ll shoot you after I shoot… huh?”

“No, you won’t but you will bleed,” Jared grabbed the wrist with the now empty gun. He jerked the weapon away after realizing the asshole had fired it dry and leveled the sneering man with a hard punch to his face. “Check on Jensen!” he shouted to whoever was closest and then went down on Misha’s chest to pummel the screaming man with hard fists.

Chad was calling for the EMTs to get their asses up there now that the threat of being shot was over. Then he followed Chris where he’d hurried over to kneel down beside a badly injured and barely conscious Jensen. “Should I stop him?” he asked curiously while Mark grumbled about taking away his fun.

“No, I will in a second but only so Mark or Justin can deal with him someplace else,” Chris said as he reached to cut Jensen free only to stop when he felt him jerk. “Jensen! Hey, settle down and… no, no…” he drew off and spun to get to his feet and stalk over to where Jared was beating on Misha.

Jared knew he wanted to go to Jensen, he needed to go to him, but first he wanted to make certain this sociopath understood one thing. “You will never touch or hurt my family again,” he growled, hate and rage making his usual soft drawl more intense.

He was blind to the sounds going on around him. Jared didn’t feel the few blows Misha landed on him until he finally fell back to the ground as Jared’s fist curled in the collar of his shirt to use it to hold the man still as his other fist landed in repeated succession.

“You will never touch Jensen again! You will never use him! Or hurt him! Or touch him! You will never come close to him and no one will use him like he’s been used!” he yelled furiously; so angry that he wasn’t even aware of someone shouting for him until a strong hand grabbed his wrist. “What?”

“Let him go now, kid. Let Mark handle Collins. You need to take care of what’s yours now,” Chris was saying once he was sure Jared would hear him over his anger, bending down to stare at Jared for a long moment. “Jared… he drugged him. Right now his eyes are glassy. I… I don’t know how he’ll be but we need to get him to a hospital and he’s not letting us touch him.”

Jared glared at the man on the ground, gave one final punch and then stood on shaky legs to move the few feet away to where Jensen lay. “Jen,” he murmured, dropping to his knees after taking a knife from Mark to cut through the ropes to free the man’s bruised and bloody wrists. “Hey, can you hear me?” he saw lashes flutter while gently easing the rag out of Jensen’s battered mouth while an EMT held out a blanket to cover the in shock man and a stretcher was brought from the waiting ambulance. “Jensen?”

Green eyes opened but were glassy and much too large for anyone’s comfort. Jensen stared blankly at the man kneeling beside him for a long, silent moment as if struggling to place the face or the shaking fingers that hovered near his face but seemed scared to touch him.

“… …Jay,” he whispered hoarsely and that was all he got out before blackness claimed him, leaving several people worried about what the next few hours would bring.

**TBC**


	14. Chapter 14

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Fourteen**

“Mr. Ackles suffered from severe blood loss as well as extreme shock. He has a severe concussion that seems to have compounded one that he’d already suffered, along with six cracked ribs and extreme internal bruising that also stems from many previous injuries. However, what concerns us the most is the amount and type of drug we’ve isolated in his blood. That in addition to the concussion and the way his eyes aren’t responding to light lead us to fear that if he regains consciousness he… there might be more long term effects.”

The grim faced older physician was telling Jared Padalecki softly, and only the wall behind him kept Jared from falling when it seemed all his fears and the dread that had been building for hours were coming true.

Jensen had passed out after whispering Jared’s name and because he’d used his nickname, Jared had been trying to keep up hope that it meant whatever drugs he’d been given either weren’t affecting Jensen’s memory or he was able to fight them. But then in the ambulance on the way to where a helicopter was waiting to fly them to a medical center in Raleigh, Jensen had gone into a seizure and his blood pressure dropped dangerously low while his heart rate increased.

The paramedics had gotten Jensen stabilized but none of them would answer Jared’s questions and had just exchanged grim looks with one another as they passed them off to medics that were clearly more equipped to handle this case. A look to see one of the medical personnel carrying a concealed weapon told Jared who had arranged for this care.

He’d been too worried about Jensen to consider staying back on the road to see what happened to the man who’d caused these injuries to his best friend and partner. Now as he listened to the doctor talk to him, as he tried to understand the too complex medical terms about not only these injuries but how they played into ones Jensen had been made to suffer seven years earlier when he was first ‘re-educated’ through abuse and the drugs he’d been given over the years, he wished he’d put his fist through Misha Collins’ throat.

“Hey Cohen! Can you possibly give a translation of that in non-medicalese for those who only have normal brain capacity, or in Padalecki’s case, a brain raised in Texas?” Chris Kane demanded after pinning his team medic with an exasperated look and after seeing how confused Jared was beginning to look.

Chris and the rest of his team had arrived at the hospital eight hours after Jensen’s admission to ICU and two hours after his own boss had arrived. He tried to brush off any questions about exactly what had happened to Misha Collins except to say Mark got his wish and the man would not be an issue any longer.

He’d reassured Jared that the Sheriff would be staying with Nicky until this was settled and they knew how Jensen was. A team of agents would also be in Birkshead to smooth over any fallout over the school incident since it appeared as if two sets of parents along with Tom Welling were trying to drum up some issues. Luckily, they were being easily squashed by the town’s no nonsense mayor and city council.

“You were raised in Texas too, jackass,” Jared shot back sourly, too tired and inwardly terrified to really feel insulted at what he instinctively knew had been Chris’s idea of a joke, a way to relieve the tension.

“True, but I was born in Oklahoma and I like to think years in the Marines drilled all the small town Texas crap outta me,” Chris retorted from where he stood in the private waiting room since he thought if Jared lost it on the doctor it would be better to do it in private than the hallway.

The staff at the hospital, and more importantly the ones who’d been waiting to whisk Jensen out of the helicopter and into surgery, had been given access to all his medical files; including ones his family had tried to make disappear years ago that showed what they’d allowed to be done to their son. All of the doctors and nurses would know the full scope of what they were dealing with, just in case they needed any of it.

“Cohen! Translate!” he snapped again.

Matt Cohen had been talking to the head physician and going over charts, tests, and scans until he felt like his head would implode. Now he was trying to find a way to make everything the grey haired doctor had just said easier to understand and not get shot while doing it.

“Remember when I said I wanted a full blood panel done on him to get an idea to what he’d been given recently or how it might affect him to be off of it suddenly?” he began slowly, leafing through Jensen’s chart to inwardly wince at what he was looking at and silently hoping that before Mark Sheppard slit Misha’s throat he made him suffer.

“We’d been weaning him off their drugs slowly for the last two years,” Chris reminded him, feeling a hard glare and knowing he’d never fully live down all the errors he’d made on this operation as far as Jared was concerned.

“True. That’s the only reason he wasn’t going into total withdrawal since being with Jared from off the pills and drugs but…” Matt heard a low growl and wasn’t sure who made it since he knew any number of people in the waiting room probably felt like it. “…but his body had adjusted to it after a year of hell inside that hospital where he was constantly filled with several kinds as they worked to break him and to keep him broken. And like a junkie, that body will readily accept the drugs back and return it to the state of mind he was in.

“Collins’ mixed a lot of drugs into those injections, Chris. Jensen’s blood was filled with toxic levels of drugs outlawed because of their danger and those were used to take his will away. The fact that he was able to do what Justin said he did when he fought back there at the end shows the fortitude the man has but… between the drugs, the beatings, the blood loss and then the seizure he suffered, along with how his heart and blood pressure were at odds… his last CT scan isn’t showing positive brain functions,” Matt glanced over at Jared sadly. “The blows to his head this time, in addition to the ones he suffered before Chris got him out of Texas, also caused a small hemorrhage that the doctors caught and repaired but… Jared…”

“He’s… he’s not going to know us again is what you’re trying not to say,” Jared’s voice was steady but the huskiness in the lower than normal tone spoke of the emotions he was trying to hide. “If Jen wakes up at all you’re telling me to try to be prepared to tell our son that his father isn’t going to know him, right?”

When Matt merely nodded, Jared turned away and fought the urge to slam his fist into a wall. “Can… can I sit with him?” he asked the older man. “Even if he doesn’t know me right now I have to hold onto the belief that I can help him over this again. I will not let those goddamn bigoted assholes take the man I love away from me or our son again.”

“Of course you can be with Jensen, Jared,” Alaina Huffman said as she entered the room to eye the doctor in warning. “You’re his husband, the only legal family Jensen has since I’ve already had three cases thrown out of court from his parents trying to claim legal guardianship due to mental illness before this took place,” she laid a comforting hand on a shaking shoulder to give the young man a warm smile. “You and Jensen are both strong willed young men. If it is at all possible, he will fight this because he loves you. Now, you go be with him while I get a debriefing from the boys on how all this happened to begin with.”

It was Chris’s turn to groan while nodding to Matt and the older doctor to take Jared to Jensen’s private room while he began the task of explaining what happened in Birkshead to his controller.

“We’re keeping this whole mess under wraps so no one in Texas knows Jensen’s injuries as of this moment,” the woman replied after listening to the debriefing of her agents. “I’m sure they believe Jensen has been kidnapped and will wait until Sunday to make a massive showing when he fails to show for the debate, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now, has the problem of Mr. Collins been permanently dealt with, boys?” she asked.

“Yeah, that little sadistic sex puppy won’t be making any more waves for anyone,” Mark Sheppard assured her while deciding to leave out the exact details. It had been Chris who’d given the green light on what exactly happened to the sociopathic bastard after he’d finished explaining a few brutal facts of life to him once the ambulance and all the actual legal authorities had cleared the scene. “Hartley hacked his computer to find crap on there that I don’t think his rich folks would like made public, so I doubt if anyone will make a scene over him suddenly going missing.”

Alaina knew her men well enough to know what that meant. She knew the basic rules of their group said no torturing, even the enemy, but there had been cases where she was willing to make exceptions and this case already required several of those to be made.

“There is a total blackout on this so I want to make sure no one gets in or out of this hospital that doesn’t have a reason to be here,” she instructed them firmly while motioning Chris to follow her. “If Jensen doesn’t regain consciousness or he is… hurt, then you’re going to have to handle this operation in the other way we’ve discussed. Will that be a problem for you?”

Chris knew there had been several strategies and methods discussed when he’d first been sent undercover to expose both Richard Ackles and Mark Pellegrino’s actions. They’d gone for the stealth one to try to gather evidence to put the people involved behind bars, but there was one last plan in case all the others failed or wouldn’t work.

“No, ma’am,” he replied as he looked in the private ICU room to see Jared sitting beside the bed with one of Jensen’s hand folded between his and rocking back and forth while whispering softly. He glanced back at the red haired woman with a steely gaze. “I have no problem putting a bullet in either or both of those assholes.”

Jared sat in the nearly silent room for what he swore felt like weeks but rationally knew it was only a day and a half. He refused to leave for anything but quick showers and to change after Matt had gone back to Birkshead to retrieve some clothes and other items he’d asked the man to bring from the house, as well as to check on Nicky.

He spoke to his scared little boy on the phone to reassure him that as soon as he had news he’d tell him since he didn’t want to break his heart this soon. Jared also spoke to Jeff Morgan, who in turn reassured Jared that nothing negative that Tom Welling wanted to print would ever see the light of day in his newspaper, and Danneel had spent the day at the elementary school once the child had returned to be sure he wasn’t bullied or made fun of. She had been glad to report that the school staff had been very supportive of Nicky.

Now he was sitting beside the bed, holding Jensen’s hand while looking at the items he’d had Matt bring back; items from the nightstand drawer that he hadn’t shown the young man yet. He’d put the DVD of Nicky’s baby years into the TV on the wall to have it playing softly while talking to Jensen in what Jared tried to keep a normal voice, but it was hard at times when the emotions from the memories or the fear he was still fighting got too much.

“When… when your Dad sent his goons to tell me to back off that time, when they trashed our place in Louisiana to destroy anything of yours or that would connect you to me or the baby… I managed to hide some things,” he was saying while watching the video of his son trying to wobble as he learned to walk. “They forced me to change his birth certificate, but I still have the original. The ones they burned were the copies you had made since you were convinced I’d lose it. I… I never reregistered it and they neglected to think of that, so really, this is still Nicky’s legal birth certificate with you listed as his birth parent, Jen.”

Jared reached up to stroke his fingertips through Jensen’s hair and over his face when he noticed a tense muscle had begun to twitch in his jaw and wished the man could have some peace even if it was just in his sleep. “They also didn’t find the sonogram you showed me the first time or the one where we finally learned our baby was a boy because you were too impatient to wait,” he placed those items on the bed as well as a diploma and other items that had belonged to Jensen. “I still have your original diploma from High School too, so that they can’t try to say you graduated at a different time but… I guess all of this won’t mean anything now.

“I never should’ve left the house that day, Jen,” he suddenly let his voice break as he couldn’t stop the fear of losing Jensen again wash over him or the anguish of having to go back home and attempt to explain to their son why Daddy would be different. “I knew you were nervous. I’d seen that damn car but thought it was one of Chris’s people. I shouldn’t have left and I should’ve gotten to you before that bastard could touch you. This is my fault and if we lose you…”

A sob escaped before Jared could stop it and for the first time in a long time, the young father let the burning emotions loose as he laid his head on the side of the bed and let it all come out.

The sharp smell of antiseptic burning his nose was the first thing Jensen began to become aware of. Just that smell caused an influx in his blood pressure and the beeping machines suddenly increased as flashes of pain, of brutal agony came back to him. But, before the panic could hit him or he could try to fight in fear of hard hands and cold voices strapping him to the bed again to continue their abuse, other sounds filtered in.

The baby giggles were low, distant as if playing from a muffled speaker but it was still loud enough to cause Jensen to pause, to try to focus past the fog and pain in his mind and body right then to try to place it. He knew the sound of the baby was important to him but so were the other sounds he heard in the room, like the muffled, raw voice that seemed to be coming from beside him.

“I’m so sorry I let you down again, Jensen. I’m… I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to keep you and Nicky safe like I promised I would and now… now to think of having to tell him he’s lost you just when he got you… when we just got you back will… I… please come back, Jen. Please don’t forget our little boy, don’t forget me.”

The broken, sobbing voice tore at Jensen’s heart. It felt like he was swimming in murky water that kept bogging him down as he tried to break the surface and get to the hand he could almost see beckoning him. The harder he fought, the more he hurt, the more pain he felt in his head as if something or someone was shoving him back, shoving him back away from…

Jared. A quick flash of deep hazel eyes, a dimpled smile and a laugh that could be infectious came to Jensen’s mind and then it was like walls began to tumble down again as his mind began to piece itself back together; reliving and remembering things he knew were real, to others that were false and given to him by those looking to hurt him, to take him away from his family.

Gunshots, scared green eyes of a little boy, the hateful gaze and voice of a man that made Jensen’s stomach churn in disgust, all hit him as he remembered Misha Collins attempt to kidnap… Nicky, his son. He remembered fighting to save his child, he remembered Misha’s attack on him in the car as he tried to take him away from Jared, and then he recalled seeing the gun pointed at Jared and reacting.

The burning pain of drugs scared him because Jensen dimly recalled fearing that he would lose the ability to think, to move, or to remember those he loved. As he heard the broken sobs of the man he loved still, recognizing the fear in Jared’s voice, Jensen realized he was scared of the same thing and knew he needed to make himself react; to reach for Jared so he could reassure him; but it was so damn hard.

Distantly Jensen could hear other voices, cold and hard, telling him how filthy he was, how disgusting, how wrong and how he would never again be that man once the doctors were done fixing him. Gritting his teeth, Jensen forced those words, those memories aside to make his heavy eyes open past the swelling. He made himself swallow thickly, discovering his mouth and tongue felt like cotton and his vision swam which nearly made him panic until he blinked to see the room begin to slowly clear.

At first he was confused, unsure where he was. Jensen knew by the smell it was a hospital and had to squash his instant fear as he finally saw Jared come into view, understanding that if Jared was with him that he wasn’t locked away again; that he was safe.

It took several long, painful moments until Jensen could get his brain to connect with his muscles it seemed. At first it terrified him that he’d been hurt too badly or the drugs had finally done too much damage and he was literally trapped inside his own mind again. He recalled a time in the other hospital where for three months it had been that way, thanks to his father’s orders, but finally he felt a finger move. Then it was just a matter of getting his hand to move the short space from where it lay to where Jared’s head was resting on the bed next to him, strong broad shoulders shaking.

Jensen recalled the pain he felt every time he saw Jared hurt enough that the man was willing to cry in front of him. He’d never liked to see his best friend, then boyfriend, and now quasi-husband cry. He pushed his stiff muscles to move until he felt his fingers touch soft dark hair all while trying to force sound from his dry throat, getting frustrated when nothing but a weak grunt seemed to come out.

Jared was just mentally chastising himself for breaking down like he had and was just pulling himself back together when he felt a soft touch to his hair that had his head jerking up and his heart jumping to his throat as he locked eyes with slightly open, still glassy green eyes that appeared to be staring at him.

“Jensen,” he whispered, moving slowly so it wouldn’t startle the other man if he was confused, but then nearly sobbed again when he saw Jensen’s fingers lift a little off the bed and he was then catching the hand to hold it carefully. Jared was almost afraid to move or speak but did grab for a glass of ice water with a straw and helped Jensen lift his head enough to take a few slow sips. “Easy, sugar. Just sip it slowly. You’re still hurt and in shock so it might take some time before you can speak.”

A piece of him knew he should buzz for a doctor or someone, but Jared didn’t think he could stand being told the ultimate outcome yet. He was just happy that Jensen’s eyes were open and he’d reached for him like he recognized him.

After another couple sips of ice water Jensen’s tongue didn’t feel quite as mushy and he could swallow easier. He eased back on the pillow to listen to Jared babble as he tried to reassure both of them. Jensen could tell the man was scared out of his mind.

“… … Jay,” Jensen had tried three times just to get that out as it felt like he was fighting with his own body and knew that was due to the effects of the drugs as well as the IV he could see going into his arm of what he guessed had to be a mix of saline and possibly antibiotics, with a second IV for a morphine pump.

Jared had been trying to tell Jensen to stay calm, to take it slow and to not panic if things seemed sluggish or disconnected. He was panicking enough for the both of them when he suddenly heard a weak, raspy voice and had to stop before he lost it again.

“You…” he stopped, refusing to ask if Jensen knew him but when weak fingers tried to pull him closer he moved to sit on the bed so he could lean down to make it easier to hear Jensen’s voice if he spoke again.

“I…” Jensen wet his lips and swallowed before trying to get out what he felt he needed to before either they were interrupted or sleep pulled him back under. “I… remember… us.”

The words were halting, weak, but they still caused Jared’s dimples to explode as he smiled for the first time since this nightmare began. He gave a watery laugh and rested his forehead against Jensen’s while trying to stay calm and not react too quickly since he wasn’t sure what else Jensen had endured in that short time. “I’m…” he started to say only to feel warm breath on his face as Jensen tried to speak, his voice not cooperating fully. “Shhh, I’m here, sugar. I have you and you’re safe.”

Shaky fingers tried to curl in his shirt and when he felt Jensen attempt to move closer to him rather than away Jared took the chance to ease his arms gingerly around the man. He heard a broken voice say his name fully and he just held Jensen to his chest, feeling the tremors go through Jensen’s body as the shock worked itself away and Jensen let his own fears come out.

Jensen let himself be held, still unable to get his arms to do what he wanted them to which was to do more than close the fingers of one hand in Jared’s shirt. He was able to turn his face into Jared’s neck but wasn’t aware of the hot tears he was shedding until he tasted them on his own lips, starting to pull back only to feel himself eased closer.

“No, go ahead and let it out if you can, Jen,” Jared murmured, lips brushing over his temple and rubbing a hand gently over Jensen’s back to soothe him as he reacted as much as he could right then. “Get out.”

This was growled lowly to a curious Justin who’d opened the door to check on things after hearing sounds. The blond man took in the sight before him, gave a nod and pulled the door shut behind him. “Tell Chris and Alaina that it looks like Jensen’s awake, but they might want to wait a while to go in,” he reported over the radio.

It took a lot of threatening and growling to keep the physicians from swarming the room once they learned their patient was at least partially conscious but finally after an hour, a still wary Jared allowed Chris into the room with Alaina and the head doctor.

Jensen was still weak and his body took another few hours before he could move more than his fingers. He refused to be examined unless Jared was in the room and while the doctor didn’t like it, he finally agreed to the stipulation after a stern Alaina reminded him who was in charge and what Jensen had faced before so his fear of hospitals and doctors would be huge.

After a battery of tests and scans it was revealed that Jensen would be fighting the effects of the drugs as well as his injuries for some time to come but it did look like he would heal; slowly but fully with the possibility of a few lasting effects.

“He may suffer some memory loss at times, as well as suffer from occasional nerve damage that may result in weak muscles, difficulty walking for long periods or lifting, but I think that can be treated,” the doctor was saying after getting the final round of blood work and other tests back the next afternoon. “Due to the intensity and the combo of drugs used, he may also suffer some dizziness or nausea until it’s fully out of his body but I don’t feel it’ll have any lasting effects unless he’s injected with it continuously again,” he looked between a still pale, bruised and exhausted Jensen and a nervous and concerned Jared while Chris leaned against the wall across the room.

“You’ll be weak from the shock and blood loss as well as the injuries you sustained and still had,” he told Jensen as he spoke to him rather than around him. “You are a very lucky and stubborn man, Mr. Ackles,” he said after closing the chart to offer a smile. “Most people who have been put through the trauma you have would have given up, but you not only fought, you’ve survived. You must be a very stubborn man.”

Jensen heard a snort from the across the room but chose to ignore it as he let his head rest of Jared’s shoulder while looking at the doctor and working his fingers to get them to move without pain or stiffness. “They told you who I am?” he asked in a voice that still felt weak and sounded it, slipping the hand that once again carried the gold band into Jared’s to see the older man nod.

The doctor had known who his patient was even before he got besieged with a group of agents he’d dealt with many times before. He’d been in the room taking blood samples when Jared had slipped the ring back onto Jensen’s hand and had felt the way his patient had relaxed the moment it was on. He’d also seen his face earlier that morning when Alaina brought in a laptop to place on the bed and Jensen spoke to his little boy to reassure him that he was getting better and would hug him soon.

“Yes, Ms. Huffman told me and I’ve seen your medical reports. I just wasn’t sure if you went by your married name,” the doctor offered both men a calm smile. “I also want to say from the last tests we’ve done along with the last scans… if and when you and Mr. Padalecki are ready to discuss it, I know an excellent surgeon who has had very good luck with the implants of artificial wombs to repair the damage those monsters did in the removal of yours, if you were every interested in conceiving again… Christian! Stop choking!” he chided the agent while missing the surprised look Jensen had as Jared frowned in confusion.

“Excuse me? Artificial wombs?” Jared inwardly cringed at the image that presented but felt Jensen lean into him more while staring at the doctor. “There is such a thing?”

“Oh yes, the process was created years ago for females whose wombs weren’t fully developed but then once the Male Pregnancy Gene was fully discovered, it was learned that that process, if done by competent specialists, could be used for men who either didn’t have a fully developed one, carried the gene but didn’t actually develop a womb, or in the case of those who had suffered what Mr. Ackles-Padalecki,” he paused to offer a small smile at his correction of the name Jensen clearly preferred to use before continuing. “…has suffered. Many men in the early days of the gene had their wombs forcibly removed before the Federal government outlawed the practice. Since then, the process is much easier with far less chance of infection and a better chances of carrying to term.”

Jensen’s hand went to his stomach where the scar showed the last cruel act his father had ordered done to him. “That’s nice to know but it wouldn’t help in my case since my asshole old man had them sterilize me as well,” he didn’t bother to hide his bitterness.

The doctor was turning to slap at Chris who was bitching about images when he looked back to stare at both men before slowly taking a step closer to the bed. “Sterilizing doesn’t affect the actual gene, Jensen,” he remarked and then sought to explain a common misconception people had. “People like them, who still don’t understand that God created all men and women equal in certain ways, still believe the popular misconception that was brought up in the late 1800’s when the gene was first discovered in Europe. They think sterilizing a man will have the same effect as it does when they would do it to women who they felt shouldn’t conceive. And while the process does do serious damage to the man’s body, if it’s done when he’s young enough and the gene is strong enough, there is a good chance that if the womb isn’t removed or an artificial one is implanted that the man can still conceive and give birth. You, young man, are still very healthy despite the trauma your body has been put through and from what it looks like your genes are very strong as well.

“Despite what the bigots like to think, their forced procedures can’t destroy the actual gene, son,” the doctor said with a calm smile and patted Jensen’s leg before he left them alone.

Jensen stared at the door as it swung closed, not sure to trust the doctor and allow himself to think, to hope there might still be a chance to keep his promise to Jared, much less allow Jared to get his hopes up. He was so shocked at the doctor’s words that he didn’t realize Jared had been speaking to him until he felt gentle fingers on his face and a worried voice calling his name. “Huh? What?” he blinked to see both Jared and Chris looking at him in concern. “Sorry… I… was just distracted. What were you saying and when can I get out of this place?” he asked.

Chris opened his mouth to remind the man he was still hurt and shouldn’t push it when he shut it again, sighing. “I’ll ask the Doc when I go out but… before I leave you two alone so Jared can freak out like I think he’s busting a gut to now, I need to find out for Alaina what you want her to tell the folks in Austin since we’ll have to postpone the debate with Pellegrino to give you time to… what? Why’re you shaking your head like… oh, no, Jensen… damn it, Jared’ll kill me if you suggest what I think you’re about to,” he groaned after sharp, but finally clear green eyes leveled on his.

“You’re not postponing that debate. Not after this,” Jensen told him firmly, feeling Jared tense beside him and knew he’d have a fight on his hands soon but was determined to not let his father or his kind win. “Maybe he didn’t send Misha here, maybe he has his own plans to ‘deal’ with me, but if I don’t show up, if I don’t confront Pellegrino now, they’ll turn it around and make everything I’ve said since coming out as myself and challenging him look like lies. I will be at the debate even if you or Jay has to stand out there with me to help me stand for the duration. I will be there.”

“I’m going to go corner that doctor on maybe getting him released and talk to Alaina,” Chris said this to Jared as he headed for the door. “I’ll let you try to talk him out of this, but if he’s still as bullheaded as he was in High School I doubt that’ll work, Give it a try cause if he goes to Austin and is still this weak, it’ll be like sharks scenting blood.”

Jared had been trying to think of something to say to reassure Jensen it didn’t matter to him if he still could possibly conceive with the help of an artificial womb. He wasn’t eager for Jensen to put more strain on his body this soon but they could consider it later on if it was something he seriously wanted to. Now he was trying to think up a way to talk him into waiting to do the debate only to have a hand laid over his mouth when he opened it.

“I know what you’re going to say and under any other circumstances I would probably agree with you. But Jared, you know I’m right,” Jensen saw the worry shining out of hazel eyes as Jared took his hand into his own to kiss the palm. “They’re going to try everything they can, hell they probably already are, to make me look bad or crazy or unsuitable for this seat. I don’t want it. I don’t want to run but I agreed to so people like my Dad, like Pellegrino and Collins or anyone else can’t keep hurting people who just want to live their lives like you and I do,” he shifted a little so he could meet Jared’s eyes. “I love you. I love Nicky. I want us to have that normal life we dreamed of, but it won’t happen until I make this stand. Please? Support me on this?”

“You know I’ll support you in anything you decide to do, Jensen. I’ll just worry about you until this is finally settled,” Jared replied and knew that was true. He also knew he wouldn’t allow Jensen to be more than a few feet away from him in Texas.

“Does that include honestly talking with me about… maybe after this is over looking into what the doctor was saying?” Jensen asked quietly, biting his lip in worry that maybe Jared wouldn’t want to. “I’m not saying I’d do it but… we could talk to this specialist and see what he or she said,” he took Jared’s hand to press it against his stomach, relaxing a little as he watched strong fingers spread over his flat stomach much like they had when he’d carried Nicky. “I want us to be a family soon, Jay,” he murmured.

Jared had his concerns but he would never stop Jensen from talking to this person. He understood what Jensen wanted but he would put his foot down if the risks were too great. For the moment though, he understood they needed to focus on the task at hand. “We are a family and I will be with you all the way through this,” he promised as he cupped Jensen’s face between his palms to watch his eyes closely, thumbs lightly touching bruises that marred high cheekbones. “Can I still kiss you, Jensen?” he asked hesitantly, not wanting to push as he had his suspicions on some of what had happened in that damn car before they’d gotten there.

“God, yes,” Jensen muttered and met the soft touch of lips willingly with only a slight twist of unease in his belly as he still dealt with flashes of painful memories. He felt the warmth of Jared’s lips remain gentle, undemanding, and soon he was moving into welcoming arms.

“You know I don’t recall walking in on the two of you this much when you were horny teenagers,” Chris spoke from the door, rolling his eyes when he got a rude gesture shot at him from Jensen while he swore Jared actually blushed a little. “I spoke to the doctor… then I had Alaina yell at him until he agreed to release Jensen so long as we promised to make sure if anything happened or you started feeling weird to get you to a hospital.”

Jensen kept his opinion to himself on that theory because he knew if he didn’t he’d never be released and he wanted to go home to see their son before he had to go and confront his past. “Let’s go home?” he asked Jared.

Nodding, Jared held him in his arms while looking at Chris to get a reassuring nod that things were safe and secure back in Birkshead. “Let’s take you home, sugar,” he agreed while deciding on pulling Chris aside sometime to discuss just how this debate thing was going to play out, because he did not plan on either of them spending any more time in a damn hospital like this again.

**TBC**


	15. Chapter 15

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Fifteen**

** Two Days Later: Austin, Texas: **

The Convention Center in downtown Austin was huge and filled to capacity with both pro-gay/pro-MPG supporters and those against both, as well as those who were basically against everything in general.

The debate had originally been scheduled to be held at City Hall but then at the last minute, the Pellegrino camp had called for a change in venue; citing the need for a larger place to hold a larger crowd.

Alaina Huffman had originally refused on the main argument that the whole reason for a small debate was to keep it small. Just as it looked like she’d call it off, which was what she’d known had been the true cause for the change, she agreed; then laid down her own changes that the arrogant Pellegrino couldn’t refuse without looking bad himself.

Because of the blackout of information, they’d managed to keep news of Jensen’s abduction and serious injuries out of the press. That had taken some doing given the fact that Jeffrey Morgan’s own paper had a few reporters who’d been threatened by a very pissed Mark Sheppard if anything got leaked to any other paper or news source before the event happened.

“You realize it’s against the Constitution to suppress the press?” Jeff had mentioned to Alaina when she’d shown up at the office to make sure he’d keep a lid on things until she gave the okay.

“And you realize that I’m fighting to keep an asshole out of the Senate,” she countered with a smile. “After this is over, your paper gets an exclusive before anyone else but not that slimy one over there. Jared said give it to the Harris girl or else he’d go somewhere else.”

Jeff chuckled as he shook Alaina’s hand in agreement. “No, by the time this is over Welling will be lucky to have a job here since he’s doing everything in his power to stir up a fight in town. Are they okay?” he asked with concern since no one had heard anything from Jared in days. “Danneel said Nicky wasn’t going to school today so…”

“No, he stayed home today,” Alaina replied simply and wouldn’t expand on the details since although the bearded newspaper editor was Jared’s friend, she held a long time mistrust of journalists from lessons learned long ago. “Will you attend the debate in Austin, Mr. Morgan?” she asked curiously but already knew the response since she’d personally Okayed his press credentials.

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss that for the world, Ms. Huffman,” Jeff responded. “Tell both of those boys that my paper has their backs regardless of anything else that happens.”

Alaina merely nodded and as she left the small paper, she could only hope that if the debate worked like it was planned, a lot of people should have Jensen’s back and also vote for him. This was assuming of course that the bastards didn’t pull any other stunts in the two days left before the event happened.

Concern for that was one reason it had been decided to keep Nicky out of school that Friday. Of course the other reason was the joy the red haired special agent had seen split Jensen’s still pale face as Jared helped him enter the house that morning and the excited little boy had run to him in both excitement and relief.

Alaina had listened to her teams objections to Jared’s decision to return to his home rather than go ahead with the tentative plan to move someplace else for the moment but given that Jensen seemed intent to avoid causing Nicky to endure more change at the moment than he might have to soon, she’d merely just increased security and told the senior agent to keep his eyes and ears open until the next day when they planned to go to Texas

“Daddy!” Nicky had been an excited ball of energy all morning since Sam had told him he didn’t have to go to school because his Daddies were coming home. The moment he heard the front door open he and Nemo had busted out of the kitchen and were immediately pulled into Jensen’s arms. The man went down to the floor carefully to hug his son while Chris made noises about the too big puppy jumping on him and possibly breaking more ribs than he already had. “Nemo missed Daddy too!” Nicky told the man he still didn’t know if he liked or not.

The child was glued to Jensen’s side that whole day, perfectly content to either sit on the sofa or play on the floor beside it, as Alaina went over some details that she knew were safe for little ears to hear. Jared made Chris and his top people go over this new layout and their plans with him.

Jensen’s sleep was restless as nerves began to get more pronounced at the thought of returning to Texas, as well as leaving their son in North Carolina even if it was with people they trusted. He jerked awake once with a scream on his lips when he felt hands holding him down but the sound stopped the moment he looked into Jared’s eyes, realizing he’d been awake.

“I… I don’t mean to keep you awake,” he muttered once his heart was beating normally again and Jared had turned a light on. “You need to sleep and I’m just being a baby.”

“You’re gonna have nightmares, sugar,” Jared told him and leaned against the headboard to smile softly when Jensen moved to lay back against his chest without any tension or fear of this position like Jared feared he might have considering the abuse he’d suffered. “I know that. I accept that and I’ll be with you through them. Hey, I survived both a colicky baby and a little boy who had his share of nightmares. He sometimes still does have them. In fact…” a sound from the partially open door had him looking just a pale freckled face with frightened green eyes peered in. “I don’t think you’re the only one with nightmares tonight.”

Jensen looked over to see their son in the door, his favorite stuffed bear clutched tight to his chest while Nemo stood protectively beside him. “Bad dreams, Nicky?” he asked and then motioned the child in at his nod. “Yeah, I had one too. C’mon up and Daddy can protect both of us.”

“Can Nemo come too?” Nicky asked as he crawled up onto the big bed and was settled in Jensen’s arms while Jared shifted so he could support his family a little better. “He’s scared too. He’s scared the bad man will come back and hurt us, Daddy.”

Normally Jared tried to keep the puppy off the bed but he had no chance in hell of withstanding three sets of sad eyes, so he patted the bed and immediately the big large ball of fur was settling on the bottom and he heard dual ‘thank you’s’ from Jensen and Nicky. “The bad man is gone, Nicky. He can never hurt you, your Daddy, or me again,” he reassured the little boy as he watched him snuggle against Jensen’s chest much like he had as an infant and smiled as Jensen’s arms wrapped around to hold him protectively. “I swear that I will not let anyone hurt you, Daddy, or me again. Okay?”

“Yep,” Nicky yawned and fell back to sleep now that he felt safe and knew both of his parents were with him.

Jensen’s fingers slowly stroked through his son’s soft hair as he watched him fall to sleep and soon he felt his own eyes getting heavy. “Jay?” he murmured sleepily, settling back more against Jared’s chest to feel his arms tighten to hold them more. “I don’t want to leave him here. Make Kane let him come too.”

“Kane does carry a gun, Jen,” Jared saw fit to point out even though he’d already planned to bring this matter up to either Chris or go over his head to Alaina.

“And he also owes us big for causing our life to blow up and for me to lose seven years with you and Nicky. So tell him that, and tell him I’m taking our son with us or he can go find a lake to leap in, preferably one filled with hot lava,” Jensen returned with a yawn and then he fell to sleep with the soft, welcome sound of Jared’s chuckle in his ears.

The man in question did not approve of the change in plans but he also couldn’t fault either man for their concern over the child. After the hour long ‘discussion’ with Jared, a call to his superior, and finally a stare down with the candidate himself, Chris threw his hands up and told Gen to pack a bag because she was tagging along to Austin instead of the original plan in which the young woman would stay in Birkshead to be with Nicky and his pet, who of course, was also taking the trip.

No one except Chris and Alaina knew the location of where the family would be staying while in Austin. In fact it wasn’t even inside the city limits. It turned out but a ranch outside the Texas capital with a small fenced in yard so both child and puppy could play but also not too large where the security team couldn’t work efficiently.

The ranch owners were an older couple who welcomed them warmly and immediately ushered a wide-eyed Nicky out to the barn along with Gen and Justin to see the array of animals they tended to on the ranch.

That gave Alaina a chance to sit with Jensen, go over things she knew would come up as well as a few that might, while also explaining about the change in venue which Chris growled about but finally shrugged.

“We’ll have it secured with eyes and ears all over the damn place before people start filling it up,” he assured an uneasy Jared. “Also, rumors have started ‘leaking’ that Jensen won’t make it because it seems he was ‘rescued by folks loyal to Mr. Ackles and is being held in a safe location while recovering from his injuries and mental instability’,” he smirked at that. “Supposedly Ackles and his wife will make an announcement before the start of the debate.”

“By saying that or even hinting at it, doesn’t that prove that they or someone working for them must have known what that asshole was doing?” Jared asked, sitting on the back of the sofa so he was close enough to keep his fingers light on Jensen’s neck.

“Yep, and if he does try to make that speech and uses those words then right after he picks his jaw up when Alaina and the moderator of the debate introduce Jensen, the Federal Marshalls will be waiting in the wings to cuff both their asses for being knowing accomplices in a kidnapping and a bunch of other charges that we can nail all of them with,” Chris replied. He saw Jensen frowning more while pulling back onto the sofa. “Either I, Matt, or Alaina will be on the stage, off to the side with you the entire time. Jared will be in the wings and my team will have the stage covered. No one will get close enough to touch you; they try then Justin puts a bullet in them,” he assured the nervous young man. “If the debate gets out of hand or if Pellegrino shows his true colors, then we end it and Mark will get you and Jared the hell out of dodge.”

“Why would they think he was successful since you say he was dealt with?” Jensen lifted his eyes to stare at his former friend.

“Maybe because they’re getting simple texts from what they assume is Collins and just by the response texts, it’ll be pretty damn hard for your folks to say they weren’t in on the planning or at least not in on the act itself,” Chris told him with a shrug. “At first I told Justin to reply to the one that came through on the dick’s phone because it was a pretty basic question asking if it was done and came up from Richard Ackles’ number that was saved. He gave a simple reply and it’s progressed.”

Jensen held out his hand. “Show me,” he knew he probably shouldn’t but he had to see for himself.

Chris hesitated a moment before bringing something up on his own phone as he sat on the coffee table across from the sofa to hold the device out. “This is a copy of all the messages from when the first one came through to the most recent one last night,” he explained, shrugging at the look Jared shot him. “We basically let them hang themselves this time. Like most people, they believe everything can be deleted so there’d be no proof of these texts or anything else sent via email between them and Collins, even your Dad and Pellegrino. But Justin’s an ace hacker and he’s got everything. I’m sorry, Jensen.”

“About what?” Jensen scrolled through the texts and didn’t even have to see the number to know it was his father sending them because he knew the man’s tone of words, even in text. “Ruining my life or that my parents are racist assholes?”

“For both actually,” Chris shrugged, taking back his phone. “Really, with this and what else we have on them, the Marshalls could arrest your folks even before the debate but…”

Jensen shook his head, pushing to his feet to walk to the huge bay window to look out into the yard to see his son playing with Nemo and the older dog that lived on the ranch. “No, I want them to see me. I want to see their faces when they realize their sick little scheme to get rid of their mistake didn’t work. Before the Feds take them out of the building, I want them to watch what I say and do during the debate,” he looked over his shoulder at both Chris and Jared. “I’m scared, but I’m not letting them win. I will do my best to take this race away from Pellegrino just so he can’t hurt anyone else.

“I will never forgive you for costing Jared, Nicky or me what you did and I swear if either of them get hurt while you or your people are around? I won’t give a damn that you might be an ex-soldier or some big-shot secret agent. Let my family come to harm and I will kick your ass,” Jensen growled and there was no hint of bluff in his hard green eyes as he then turned and walked outside to immediately laugh as he was overtaken by a little boy and the dogs.

“Give him about 10 years and he might stop hating you,” Jared suggested as Chris blew out a breath of frustration. “I doubt if either of us will ever forgive you, but he might stop hating you… unless you screw up and Nicky gets hurt. Then I’ll kill you,” he said before following outside to stand on the porch to watch as Nicky was trying to show Jensen how to hold a baseball to toss it to him. “You will keep him safe at that debate right?”

“No one will get close to him,” Chris promised but knew Jared would be at Jensen’s side before anyone else could be if anything went down that they weren’t expecting.

That night was tense and Jensen didn’t even bother trying to sleep. He did lay down with Jared after they put Nicky to sleep in the room down the hall from theirs where he slept with Nemo and the older dog, but once he felt Jared fall to sleep and heard his breathing even off, the younger man eased out of his arms to go downstairs to sit in the ranch house’s quaint kitchen and look over notes, files, statistics and other things he needed to know or try to absorb by the next afternoon.

Then once he realized the more he looked over the details for the debate, the more anxious he was becoming. Instead he pulled out the file on his opponent to stare into cold shark eyes that made his stomach clench and it felt like he’d been punched there. “Son of a bitch,” he whispered and had to slam the file closed before he threw up as he suddenly had a flash of vivid memory of another time he’d seen those cold eyes staring down at him. “He’s been in on it from the goddamn start, hasn’t he?”

“Yeah, that’s what the top dogs in DC seem to think,” Chris said as he stood in the back door to watch Jensen at the kitchen table. “How’d you know I was out here?” he asked curiously before moving to accept the chair that Jensen’s foot pushed out. “I’m usually a lot stealthier than that.”

“I don’t like having anyone come up on me from behind for obvious reasons, so I guess my senses are a lot more keen than they used to be,” Jensen avoided the man’s gaze and the cup of coffee he placed in front of him. “I saw him in the hospital one time for sure, maybe twice. The shock and surprise he showed when Jared made his announcement… it was faked.”

“To a degree,” Chris told him and decided to be honest. “Pellegrino knew you were gay, he knew you carried the MPG, he knew you’d left home to be with your boyfriend, but he didn’t know who that was and he hadn’t been told you’d actually given birth to a child. Your parents were very careful who they admitted that to, considering they had you kidnapped, imprisoned, tortured and brainwashed. While those things were bad enough, there are even the most rabid of anti-gay supporters who wouldn’t condone taking a baby’s father away in that manner or threatening the baby. Plus, I think they didn’t want to risk pissing off their supporters.

“So Jared did take him by surprise on that score but by then, I think he’d learned who you’d been seeing because he knew which state Jared was from; I didn’t think anyone but my team knew that,” he watched Jensen touch the ring he wore while glancing up at the ceiling. “Jared and Nicky won’t be hurt by anyone, Jensen. I messed up plenty on this op but I will not allow anything to happen again to you or your family. I won’t ask you to forgive me for what I did to you or allowed to be done but I will ask you to trust me to get you through this debate and then after the election, after whatever happens, neither you nor Jared will ever see my face again.”

Jensen finally looked over to stare into the eyes of a man he had once trusted like a brother. Now he knew he would have to work on forgiving him before trust could happen to the degree that it had once been. For the moment he merely nodded. “If anything happens to Jared or Nicky, you better hope I die or else you better pray I never see you again,” he said and then walked back upstairs.

He stopped first to peek in at his sleeping son, to smile at the way Nicky laid all spread out in the much larger bed that Jensen had made certain was surrounded by pillows in case his active, even in sleep, son rolled too much. After reassuring himself that Nicky was sleeping soundly he returned to the room he shared with Jared to stare at Jared’s sleeping face and smiled softly before slipping back into bed, feeling warm arms immediately wrap around him. “I love you, Jared,” he whispered while ghosting a light kiss over Jared’s lips and finally fell to sleep.

Twelve hours later found Jensen torn between shaking like a leaf and hiding in the strong arms that were wrapped around him. Jensen was slowly letting the anger simmer since they’d arrived at the Austin Convention Center; a calm but stern Alaina Huffman gave the full story to a very surprised debate moderator.

“The boys in black suits and sunglasses are ready to slap the bloody cuffs on the Ackles the moment you give the word, boss,” Mark Sheppard reported, jerking his head to the stage that had been set up for the debate. “They’re out there now with Pellegrino about to give their sad little speech.”

“Well, let’s go bust a few bubbles,” the woman smiled but turned to look at Jensen. “You can still back out and I’ll call it off,” she told him as she watched Jared murmur something in Jensen’s ear that soon had her candidate smiling shakily.

“No, I’m…” Jensen couldn’t say he was good because he wasn’t. He was nervous and he prayed he didn’t freeze up once he got out there in front of people. But for the moment, as he returned the tight squeeze to his hand, he took a deep breath and said as calmly as he could, “Let’s do this.”

The convention center was packed with people from both sides, inside and out. The local police had cordoned off the area around it while the State Police, as well as the local FBI office, were scouting for trouble in the crowd. The security inside was just as tight even if not all of it was obvious; Justin Hartley was situated in a spot high in the rafters with a sniper rifle and a direct line to Chris’s earpiece as he watched the scene unfolding on the stage with a smirk.

He watched Richard and Jane Ackles step out onto the stage with a grim faced Mark Pellegrino and his small entourage and settled down to watch the show.

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming,” Pellegrino began after clearing his throat a few times. He stared out at the large crowd and the signs, hiding his inner smile while looking over at the older couple who were dressed perfectly for the occasion. “I also want to apologize for wasting your time as I fear unlike what others have said, there will be no debate. I have it on very good authority that Mr. Ackles has been returned to the safety of his loving family and will not be…”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Alaina spoke as she stepped onto the stage with the event moderator and the Governor of Texas with her.

The red haired woman was dressed in a trim fitting, dark blue, pants suit with high heels and a matching jacket. She looked every ounce the part of a campaign manager which suited her for the moment. Of course the 9mm pistol she carried under the jacket would also suit her if she was called to use it, but for the moment she would leave that in the hands of her agents who she could easily spot.

“Believing lies again, Mr. Pellegrino?” she asked with a bright smile while eyeing the angry and disgusted looking Ackles’ with her own look of disdain. “You told him what? That the stooge you hired as Jensen’s former campaign manager went to where Jensen had escaped your clutches to kidnap him? That after he’d shot up an elementary school in his attempt to kidnap and kill Jensen’s son, your grandson by the way, not that Jensen and Jared would ever allow that title to either of you, that he kidnapped Jensen and took him someplace where your sick little doctors were planning to work him over again? Where they planned to drug him, to beat him, to stick those electrodes on his head again until he was a good little boy again?”

“Shut it you, you bitch!” Richard Ackles growled as he glared with hate at this nobody who thought she knew anything. “You’re the one lying! Our son was rescued from my enemies, from those freaks who forced him to say those lies, who…” he stopped in mid-rant as the confused crowd suddenly exploded in cheers and some shouts of outrage as Jensen stepped onto the stage with a stoic Chris just slightly behind him as well as a half a dozen Federal Marshalls. “No.”

Jane Ackles had been sneering until her son stepped onto the stage and then her lovely face that she’d worked hours on making to look like she’d been crying in relief turned into a mask of hate and rage. “How’s this possible?” she demanded on her husband while Pellegrino’s lips went thin and he spoke sharply to two of the men with him. “You swore to me, told everyone that Misha had fixed this! That he’d taken care of that awful Padalecki boy and that Devil spawned brat he claims was Jensen’s! You said he had Jensen at the cabin and that we’d never have to…”

“Shut up!” Richard shouted at her as he got over his fury and shock to realize all of his wife’s words were going out over the microphone system and that everyone had just heard her basically admit to knowing about their son’s kidnapping, or the kidnapping that he’d thought had taken place. Now he began to think just how much else was known of their involvement and how much he’d have to pay to make this all go away.

He met his son’s green eyes and tried to stare him down like he’d been able to since paying all that money to have him fixed, yet now Jensen didn’t flinch or look away as he moved to the other podium to meet his stare fully.

“Your plan failed because Misha failed. Oh, he did kidnap me, he did hurt me, he did his goddamn best to rape me again after drugging me with drugs he got from you or Mom, but this time I wasn’t alone. This time I had people who fought to help me,” Jensen looked between his parents; his stomach in knots from the rage and violence he could see on their faces when he caught movement on the stage and suddenly the Governor’s own guards had two of Pellegrino’s people down on the faces after they’d tried to make a move.

“Richard has proof his son is mentally ill and is just being used by these people as a mouthpiece for their cause,” Pellegrino spoke up. He was enraged at the failure of his associate to take care of this matter so this damn debate didn’t have to take place. “He…”

“What? Anymore of a mouth piece than I was for him and his buddies in that fake campaign to make you look good?” Jensen shot back, legs starting to shake because there were too many people on that stage that he didn’t know or trust, but then he felt Chris’s hand on his shoulder as he stepped up and instantly became the focal point of the Ackles’ rage and Pellegrino fell silent as he began to take the threat Jensen posed to him much more seriously.

The Marshalls moved to quickly placed the Ackles’ in handcuffs, enraging them as well as some of their supporters until the Governor stepped up to the middle podium to slam the gavel down to indicate he wanted silence and attention.

“I’ve seen the reports, the files, all the evidence Ms. Huffman and the Marshalls have supplied to prove in very damning detail how you and your people kidnapped your own son seven years ago; then did awful, awful things to break his will as you sought to re-educate this boy, to make him forget his sexual choice as well as that he’d had a child,” the silver haired Texan glared at Richard sternly with a look that was pure disgust. “I know it’s taken this State a long time to accept the laws and rights that other states have in this country and I know we have a long way to go, but what you did, what you’re still willing to do, isn’t only illegal and unethical but it’s straight up disgusting considering that you did it to your own flesh and blood!”

“This isn’t our son!” Jane screamed in disgust, furious that this perfect day had turned so sour. “Our son died years ago when he defied his Father and ran off with that horrible faggot! You should’ve died in that damn hospital! We should’ve just given your useless ass to Misha like he wanted when you started acting out last year! I hope you die and… let me go! Richard! Get these awful men to release us! It’s them that should be arrested! _Jensen_! I hope that disgusting little creature you say you had dies a…”

Jensen had been working on tuning out the hate being spewed by his parents as the Feds tried to remove them from the stage while the moderator was trying to get things calmed down. He’d almost been successful until his mother’s last screeching comment shot through him. White hot rage shooting through him as he shoved a cursing Chris out of his way when he went to grab him even as Alaina was shouting to have the woman shut up.

“Don’t you ever, ever open your goddamn hateful mouth about my son!” he yelled back, temper and fury making his normal Texas drawl heavier as he took three steps but stopped before he got too close; afraid of what he might do and not wanting to give his parents or the glaring Pellegrino the satisfaction. “Nicky is not a creature! He is not a spawn of the devil or anything else that you and your so-called ‘Church’ friends like to call children born out from the MPG.

“My son is just like any other seven year old boy. He goes to school, he gets good grades, he plays soccer and baseball, and he rides a bike and has a puppy!” Jensen glared as more security helped to take his parents off the stage as well as the two men from Pellegrino’s camp. He whirled to glare at his shark eyed opponent who was eyeing him cautiously and appraisingly now. “And before you get any ideas, my son is also protected and off limits. Attack me but don’t go after my boy. I am not the same man now as I was the last time we faced off in a debate,” he took a shaky breath while allowing his ‘manager’ to nudge him back to his podium but he kept his eyes on Pellegrino. “I’m not the same mindless, drugged out, tool of my father’s that y’all have been using for seven years. I’m myself for the first time in seven long, painful years and I will debate you today and I challenge you to deny or counter _my_ arguments and allegations this time.”

Pellegrino stared at him, ignoring the buzzing of his advisor beside him. He was furious but had been a politician too long to allow his emotions to show this easily. He wasn’t going to allow this little bug to overturn years of hard work and planning. “The bodyguard has to go,” he shot a sneer at Chris.

“As soon as you send yours away,” Alaina responded despite feeling Jensen tense and hearing Chris’s teeth practically grinding together. “Given the hate and bigotry in this building, I’m not allowing my client to be out here without his bodyguard so long as you have those… especially since two of your people just tried to jump him. If you want Mr. Kane off the stage then you send them off as well.”

He stared at her but then the moderator ordered everyone but the candidates and himself off the stage. He began to cite the rules and conditions and while this went on, Alaina gave Jensen a reassuring hug while whispering that he wasn’t alone and if anything got out of hand she’d called it off.

“Look after Jay while I do this?” he asked softly since he’d heard Jared’s sharp voice more than once since he stepped onto the stage. “He might punch someone soon.”

“Yeah, me,” Chris muttered sourly. He was unhappy with this change and didn’t step off stage until all of the other man’s people had. “Tell me you still have a clear line of sight to the stage,” he spoke into his microphone as soon as he was behind the curtain and before a furious Jared could grab him.

Chris knew where his team was. The only thing he didn’t trust was that Pellegrino hadn’t put his own people around as well. But so far, Justin hadn’t said anything about seeing another sniper.

“I could cap the bastard now if you wanted,” Justin replied from his perch, letting his sight move to make sure everything still looked clear. “I’ll let you know if I see anything that shouldn’t be here. Do I get a green light if I have to take a shot in a hurry?”

He could still see the stage as well as across from it. Chris knew Mark and Matt were in the audience somewhere and there were Marshalls on the other side to contain any angry members of either Pellegrino’s entourage of the Ackles’ who were still in the building for the moment watching in a locked room.

“Only if Jensen’s in immediate danger,” Chris replied to that since he knew the brass would frown if they caused a riot in the convention center. “Jared…” he knew the man was pissed when he was yanked around to face Jared. “If Alaina had refused to send me off, the asshole would have had reason to back out. He can do this. You need to believe in him, kid.”

“I do,” Jared did believe in Jensen. It was the other people involved, especially the lying snake at the other podium that he had a hard time with. Stepping around Chris to peer onto the stage he watched the tension he could see in Jensen’s body as the moderator began the debate fully. “You can do this, Jen,” he whispered and could only hope nothing went wrong to cause Jensen to panic or freeze as he noticed the smug way Pellegrino was staring at Jensen as if expecting something to go wrong.

“Before we begin in earnest, do either of you have anything to say to the other in general?” the moderator asked while arranging his cards and making sure both candidates had their notes and water.

Pellegrino’s smile increased as he glanced over at his opponent. “Off the record, boy,” he began with a sneer. “How much did it take to get you to turn your platform and come up with these ridiculous lies?”

“Off the record, asshole, how much did my father pay you to have your private hospital try to lobotomize me after they were done ripping out a part of my body?” Jensen countered with a tense smile and saw the flash of rage cross the older man’s face as the moderator broke in with a shaky smile plastered on his face and announced they were to begin and Jensen took a slow breath to try to settle down when he glanced down to see the ring on his hand.

Jensen knew right then the ring was more than a symbol since their wedding license had been faked, but he vowed right then as he listened to the first basic question from the man literally between him and a stone cold bastard that he and Jared were getting married as soon as this was all over.

Right then he just had to focus on not allowing Mark Pellegrino to throw him or cause him to flash back to other times, but found it hard since now Jensen knew he’d heard that smooth oily tone several times when he’d been a prisoner and longed to hurt him.

“Mr. Ackles-Padalecki, can you start by telling the audience who you are and why your stance now differs from your original platform?” the moderator was trying to keep to the basics since it was plain to him that Pellegrino might look calm and cool but the man wanted to draw blood, literally, so he hoped to start this off smoothly.

Jensen had notes in front of him. He and Alaina had gone over how to answer to give the best response as well as to make him look good, but as he looked down at them, then out at the audience, taking in the various signs both for and against his outlooks, the open hate on some faces and the curiosity on others, it was the fear he could see that helped him find his voice.

“My name is Jensen Ross Ackles-Padalecki and I am a gay man born to racist parents. I am a gay man who was born carrying a misunderstood gene that allowed me once to carry the child of the man I love. And I am a gay man who spent the last seven years of my life in a drug induced fog after my parents and their racist friends had me kidnapped away from my husband and one month old son, locked in a mental institution for a year where I was drugged, beaten, shocked, and basically brainwashed to believe I was some straight, hate mongering asshole,” Jensen began in a strong and clear voice, his drawl strong but not too thick as some politicians from the state liked to make it.

“I was used as a mouthpiece for hate by those who wanted to make you think my opponent was some white knight championing all races, all colors, and everyone including gays and those who carry the MPG. I was told what to say, what to do, when to say it. Every speech I gave, every appearance I made to spout hate, broke me a little more even though I didn’t know why. I was supposed to be the bad guy to ensure y’all voted for my opponent here, but let me tell all of you people, those for and against what I now stand for, a little something about Mark Pellegrino,” he paused to look toward the podium next to him and felt his chest tighten in anger and memory. “He’s nothing but a goddamn liar and bigot who has been working for and with my family and their anti-gay friends since before he came to Texas. He also happens to own the very hospital where I was held; he was there as I was tortured by his staff so if I were you, I’d start to question just what else he’s lied to y’all about.”

On the side of the stage, Alaina pinched the bridge of her nose while asking silently for strength. “Did one of you change his notes without telling me?” she asked while the Governor of Texas could be heard behind them laughing his head off and saying even if Jensen lost the Senate race, he’d offer the boy a job in his office just for having the balls to do what he just had.

“No, he’s umm… Jensen…” Chris coughed and dug his elbow into Jared’s ribs to stop him from snickering. “Jensen never did like sticking to scripts,” he told her and then bit his lip to keep from smiling as the stunned moderator had to be quick to not show his own shock and Pellegrino’s smooth exterior began to show cracks as Jensen just tossed the first salvo of what was sure to be an explosive confrontation. “I guess I should’ve mentioned that to you.”

As Alaina whirled to chew Chris out, Jared smiled a little more as he saw that Jensen had this under control and could only hope it stayed that way now that Pellegrino would be on the defensive.

**TBC**


	16. Chapter 16

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Sixteen**

The concern for how swiftly Mark Pellegrino would strike back at Jensen’s comments and accusations were well founded because it didn’t take the man long to strike back and strike hard.

The moment the moderator gave him permission to offer a rebuttal, he mocked everything Jensen had said as a joke, as lies, and as the made up stories of someone who shouldn’t be trusted because he knew the truth of Jensen’s medical incarceration and was willing to expose it to the world.

Jensen had been told if he went through with the election that his entire world, his past both real and mock, would be up for scrutiny; his name would be dragged through the mud. He and Jared had talked about that since the odds were good that eventually Jared’s name would be brought up and Jensen was more concerned about his partner’s reputation than his own.

As far as Jensen was concerned, his name had been sunk into quicksand when his father started his quest to use him as a tool. Now it was his turn to try to fix the damage and the only way he could see to start that process was to counter the lies about to be tossed at him.

“Well, ignoring the fact that if you or my father got access to those records it would be breaking the privacy laws which I could sue both your asses over,” Jensen began calmly while he glanced down to go through the papers in front of him as if searching for something before looking back up. “I figure you have the ones he doctored to make it look good on him… and on you since I now know you had a hand in the process of re-educating the patients in that hospital, despite your earlier claims to be against it.

“The fake records that he paid to have drawn up by his staff physicians claimed I was attacked so severally and put into a coma for a year and spent time ‘recuperating’. And since he lost control of me and has been trying to have me declared mentally unstable to save his image, in case I remembered too much I bet you boys had a totally new set created to make me look crazy,” lips curving in a smile that didn’t show the temper on the inside, Jensen handed the moderator a file so he could put them up on the huge screen which would allow the public to see them.

“I, on the other hand, actually have the real medical files of when I was signed in against my will by my parents; your own staff marked ‘unwilling’ on the forms and since these were all thought to be destroyed it didn’t matter if they made notes to what was really going on. It seems someone up there must have had a conscious and didn’t destroy all the hardcopies and nothing can really be wiped from a hard drive if someone knows how to find it.” Jensen glanced back to see his actual medical records from that year in hell on the screen and felt his chest tighten but pushed it back for the moment to offer an inquisitive look to his clearly pissed off opponent. “You want to toss your fake ones up there now? My manager can also supply the person, no longer in your employ, who took most of those notes if the board wants to speak with him.”

Pellegrino attempted a couple more side attacks but once it became obvious that Jensen wasn’t going to skirt or avoid mention of his past but counter with the very brutal truth on each matter brought up, he decided to change tactics and attack him on actual election issues in the hope that the stupid fool would stumble since everyone knew Jensen didn’t know anything about the actual topics he was running for. He found he was surprisingly wrong.

“You say I’m not in touch with the voters or don’t understand their needs or what they want in a Senator?” Jensen looked out to the crowd for a moment. “Maybe I don’t fully or I don’t yet since I haven’t started getting out and meeting people and am not scheduled to until next week. But I do believe I understand their needs, as their needs and what they may be looking for are what I would be wanting and looking for if I was in their shoes.

“I would want a Senator who cares about all the people in his district, not just the ones who line my pockets. I would want one who understands the special requirements of some of those people, like the ones you seek to put a bill into motion to make it a requirement to register their sexual orientation or segregate those who are homosexual and those who carry a different gene into their own ‘towns’ which is nothing but a goddamn fancy word for camp, and we both know it,” Jensen had heard those conversations many times while sitting through meetings his father had held.

“You made a good show of being ‘against’ hate and sterilization or re-education. You gave good speeches to make yourself look like you’ve changed in your former beliefs in how those who love differently or men who can give life should all be loved and accepted. Those are nice words and if I hadn’t been brought back to my senses, if I hadn’t by some miracle regained my memories, memories people thought had been burned out of my brain, to counter you now with truth instead of lies and hate you might’ve gone on to win this seat,” Jensen held out another file to the moderator while keeping his eyes locked on his opponent.

“The truly bad thing for my parents, their supporters… your people… is that I remember it all. Thanks to the love of my husband, to the patience and support he gave me when I literally landed on his doorstep in the middle of the night, beaten, hurt, confused… I not only remembered our life before I was taken but I remember every damn thing said and done in my parents’ house. Including your pal back there out of sight who came every week to discuss the best way to get you elected and then… how to make it look natural when you suddenly switched and put into motion a bill to have gay men who carry the gene to conceive and give birth either locked away or stripped of their human rights, labeling them genetic freaks who pose a danger to ‘normal folk’.” Jensen had spent an exhausting evening telling Alaina and someone she’d brought with her everything he could recall of his time in his virtual prison.

He thought it had surprised everyone that he’d regained all of his memories in so short a time and while there were still blank spots in various spots, Jensen was still relieved to have the memories he did. Though he had wished he could lose the more painful and violent ones he understood learning to cope with those as well as learning to trust fully again would be part of the healing process that he accepted he was now in.

“So instead of questioning me on what I know, how about explaining your true goals if you win this seat?” he challenged while seeing the moderator was frowning as he poured over these papers which showed papers and notes copied from the originals in Richard Ackles’ meetings over the last several years.

“We’re taking a break while the election board reviews these files and then Mr. Pellegrino, you might be explaining just why your people were working so closely with the Ackles’ campaign,” the moderator shot a hard look of disgust up to a furious Pellegrino. “You also haven’t exactly denied any of the claims or allegations laid upon you. This, as well as other evidence given to the board recently, is very damning, Mr. Pellegrino. Would you care to address this now in front of those who may vote for you or would you rather deal with the board backstage?”

The vein in the older man’s forehead could be seen throbbing as he tried to control his rage at the gall of this obstinate and disgusting freak. He had thought his people were smart enough to make sure there was no kind of trail linking them with Ackles and his supporters, much less nothing to link him to that damn hospital where Richard had shipped his brat to fix him of the very obvious defects.

Now as he stood at the podium, fists clenching as he watched the freak smirk at him while the moderator glared and prepared to call the debate, he tried to keep his calm. He’d spent a long time making up this damn image of an understanding, tolerate man who wanted and would work for change for all the genetic freaks in this damn state.

Pellegrino knew he’d spent a lot of money to make sure Ackles’ did his part and his damn kid had worked as the perfect counterpoint to the façade they’d created for him. The plan had been simple, perfect, and would’ve worked if Jensen Ackles had been kept under control like he had supposed to be or, when that control was lost, if his father’s men had managed to eliminate him and the goddamn asshole who’d ruined the moment in Sheppard’s Port to start the downhill slide of his perfect and assured win.

The packed convention center began to fade from his thoughts as he stared at Jensen, the rage and hate growing until finally when the moderator’s hand touched his arm he snapped.

“Get your hand off of me!” he shoved the startled man to the side, nearly off the stage as the podium then followed suit. Pellegrino’s fury made him forget where he was and that he was still on a live microphone. “You goddamn useless freak! All you had to do was be your Daddy’s good little slave and do what we told you! You were spared from what your mother wanted done to you because your old man thought you’d be useful to the cause!” he screamed, kicking the moderator’s podium out of his way as he stalked toward Jensen who he expected to look scared of him; getting angrier when the freak merely stood his ground to glare at him.

Pellegrino knew Jensen’s watch dogs would be on stage any second but he didn’t give a damn. He’d do what Richard and that prick Collins couldn’t and he’d make certain that regained memory got scrambled so the younger man wouldn’t be able to give testimony in case anyone got the foolish idea to try to take him to court for his involvement.

“You think you’re so smug and arrogant for remembering? You think you can toss all my work back at me and make me look bad? You think I spent all this time sucking up to faggots and freaks of natures like you just to have you ruin it?” he grabbed Jensen by the front of his shirt while pulling out a knife that had been slipped to him after the security did their check. “Not so brave now are you?” he sneered at the flash of fear he saw as the crowd began to panic at the appearance of a weapon. “You aren’t gonna be so chatty with your throat cut either, pretty boy. Hope you told that bastard kid goodbye earlier ‘cause you won’t be… ugh! What?”

Jensen’s hand had shot up to grab the wrist with the knife and met the dangerously cold eyes with a stony glare. He’d felt fear the moment Pellegrino snapped and he’d felt it when the man grabbed him and the knife came out. He heard voices shouting, including Jared’s voice, but instead of backing away or trying to avoid the enraged man he stood still.

A piece of Jensen felt like it was all surreal. It wasn’t until the man made his last comment that Jensen reacted. He saw his own hand lift to grab for the one holding the knife, he sensed movement on the stage and knew he wasn’t alone, that Chris and his team were moving but the low simmering rage that had been inside Jensen all that afternoon finally bubbled up.

“My son is not a bastard,” he gritted and gave a hard jerk to Pellegrino’s wrist as his other hand lashed out in a punch that took the already surprised man off guard, knocking him back into the waiting arms of two stern faced Federal agents and the pistol of Chris Kane. “My son has his parents and if it is at all possible, men like you will never take another child’s parents away from them or keep a man with this gene from knowing the blessing that it is to give life to a child.”

Jensen’s voice finally started to shake at the end as he heard the knife clatter to the stage and he felt his legs nearly buckle when he was suddenly pulled into strong arms as Jared’s arms went around were wrapped around him. “Jay,” he gasped.

Jared Padalecki had been wanting to storm the stage for the last 15 minutes of the debate when it became plain it had gone downhill and Pellegrino was close to losing it. The moment the moderator was shoved and he lunged for Jensen with a knife in his hands it all went into slow motion for him.

He heard Alaina shouting for Justin to wait until he fired, to give Jensen a chance to react first. Jared was just in the process of telling the woman what he thought of that plan when he saw Jensen grab the hand holding the knife and punch him. By that time, the Feds and Chris’s people were moving onto the stage and he shoved past Alaina to grab Jensen into his arms. He held him, hoping his arms weren’t shaking as badly as he thought they were but all he felt was Jensen starting to tremble more now that he was safe.

Pellegrino was dragged off the stage screaming obscenities and slurs that certainly showed his true colors until a grinning Mark Sheppard popped him in the jaw to knock the man out cold while the agents cuffed him and his bodyguards when they tried to intervene.

Alaina had helped the stunned moderator to his feet while the grim faced Governor stepped to the microphone to start to call an end to the debate as the crowd, while panicked, had stopped to watch the scene on the stage. Before he could though, one thin and shaking young man who’d been in the middle row of the side of supporters for Jensen stood up to raise a cautious hand.

“Excuse me, sir,” he began in a thick drawl that was made thicker by how bad his voice was shaking. “I… I… know this isn’t a time and that… that neither candidate was taking questions anyway, but I was wondering… if I might ask Mr. Ackles-Pada… ummm,” he seemed embarrassed as he stumbled on the rather hard last name.

Alaina started to respond only to stop when Jensen lifted his head from where he’d let it rest against Jared’s chest as he settled his nerves. Seeing the young man in the crowd he recognized the fear there as something he’d felt once and had seen on Jared years ago. Jensen turned to face the crowd but kept Jared’s arm around him when he stepped to the microphone.

“What it is, son?” he asked after he coughed to get his voice back to normal, ignoring the sounds of fighting and shouting from backstage. “And you can call me Jensen. I know the last name can be a little tongue twisting for people who didn’t grow up with the man it belongs to,” he gave Jared a smile and saw it returned as Jared held him back against his chest, no fear of condemnation from the other side of the aisle as some of those people were also still there. “What’s your name?”

“Oh… Kenny, sir,” the young man replied as if surprised to be asked. He stepped into the center aisle after the Governor sent an aide up to hold out a microphone to him. “I was just wondering… you’ve spoken about… your son several times and you just said that men who have the gene shouldn’t be made to feel bad but… well, I’ve been told by my kin that if I… I mean, if someone with that gene falls in love with another boy and they have a baby that it’ll be a monster with hooves and a tail,” he blushed again as a few voices in the thinning crowd made dismissive sounds. “I know that’s not true but… my school has taught us that the baby would be sick or crippled and… since you have a child… I was wondering if you can tell me… is any of that true?”

Jensen felt Jared tense behind and knew it angered him to hear that asked or assumed, but Jensen had heard that type of lie told many time to scare young men and even some young women who were in a straight relationships, to try to scare them into not having sex or not giving into nature if they were homosexual.

He looked closer at the young man in the aisle and remembered another scared 16 year old; Jared had been that scared and he didn’t have to deal with the extra burden of being a carrier of the MPG. Jensen suspected this boy was a carrier who’d been given all the usual scare tactics.

“No, none of that is true,” he told the young man after glancing back into Jared’s eyes to share a silent question before seeing him nod and step away to go back off stage. “Having the Male pregnancy gene does not mean any child born from it will be deformed, or sick, or anything like that. The odds of that is just the same as any heterosexual couple’s odds of having a sick child.

“If you don’t do drugs and take care of yourself during pregnancy, then most men give birth to perfectly normal, happy little boys and girls,” Jensen looked up at a sound from the side of the stage to break into a smile as he stepped away from the podium to kneel down and catch his excited and running son into his arms after Jared had gone to get Nicky from where he’d been kept safe and isolated with Gen and Nemo.

Picking Nicky up as Jared rejoined them on the stage, Jensen stepped back to the podium to let the suddenly hushed crowd see what he was fighting for. “This is our son,” he told them and made sure to let his eyes sweep both sides of the crowd as Nicky shyly clung to his neck while waving his hand with a dimpled but shy smile before hiding against Jensen’s neck. “This is Nicholas Ross Padalecki and I gave birth to him naturally; he was a lot smaller then.”

That got a round of hesitant chuckles out of even the hardcore anti-gay supporters as Jensen looked out at them. “Being gay, carrying a gene doesn’t make us different. It’s the opinion of others that does. We’ll never fully eradicate all the hate and bigotry in this country because there will always be things to hate or people who don’t like change, but in the end it should be about peace and giving everyone a chance to live, love, and survive how they choose to.

“I know there are those of you who will never accept me as a candidate. There are those out there, those who support my parents and Pellegrino’s point of view and while it saddens me, I actually understand it. I understand what it’s like to be raised with hate. I was just lucky enough to not fall under that spell and that I didn’t let it stop me from loving the man I do. I’m lucky that I was blessed not only with a beautiful son but a man who still loves me even after seven hard years apart,” Jensen smiled, gave another look out to the audience and then turned to look at the people on the stage. “I think I’m done for now. Do you need me for anything or can Jared and I take our son and go?” he asked simply.

“You boys go on,” the Governor replied after shaking Jensen’s hand and then Jared’s while passing Nicky a piece of candy. “I think the boys in suits might have some questions for you and you might have to meet with the elections board but you’ve been put through enough today. Take your family home or wherever Ms. Huffman has you stashed.”

Jensen nodded gratefully. He was suddenly tired and just wanted a moment of peace with his family. He didn’t care about what would happen to his parents, or Pellegrino, or anyone else. He knew he’d probably have to talk to more people but would do that later and only with Jared and someone Alaina recommended with him.

Chris and Gen ushered them through the convention center and into the limo that brought them into Austin. Jensen was starting to zone out now that things weren’t as hectic but he brought his thoughts back as Nicky sniffled against his neck. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked and saw Jared speaking with Chris outside the limo and guessed he was still unhappy that the agents hadn’t reacted swift enough to stop Pellegrino from getting close to him. “Nicky?”

“I heard people say you were almost hurt again and how your Mommy and Daddy hurt you cause you love Daddy and me,” the little boy lifted his head from where it had been laying in the crook of Jensen’s neck. “Am I a monster, Daddy?”

Jensen swore his heart slammed into his ribs as he broke at the fear in his son’s big green eyes. He glanced over as Jared slipped into the limo with them and guessed by the look of naked emotion on his face that he’d heard the question too.

“No, you are not a monster,” Jared replied and lifted Nicky into his lap while wrapping his other arm around Jensen to bring him against his side. “Remember all those things I’ve told you about bullies and how people hate the things that are different?” he saw a smart nod. “You were born out of the love that Daddy and I share and there will probably always be people who will make rude remarks over that. Even when you’re all grown up and out on your own and people learn who your parents are you’ll encounter the hate. But all you need to remember is that you are loved and in the end that’s all that matters. Okay?”

Nicky looked between his fathers for a long moment before he moved so he could sit between them as Nemo had the seat across from them to himself while Chris rode in the front. “Will I ever have a little brother?” he asked innocently while opening his piece of candy and missing the look shared between the men as he pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Or I guess a sister would be cool too.”

Jared was opening his mouth to reply when he felt a sudden pinch to his arm that had him looking over to see Jensen staring at him and shaking his head as if to wait.

“We… we don’t know yet, Nicky,” Jensen remarked, not wanting to get the child’s hopes up but also not wanting to say no to the suggestion either. “It’s something Daddy and I have to talk about later on.”

That seemed to satisfy their son who then moved to sit beside the dog while staring out the window at the passing scenery on the drive back to the ranch. “If we have to move to Texas if Daddy wins this election, can we live on a ranch so Nemo and I can have horses or cows or maybe chickens?” he asked and shot his father’s his best dimpled smile. “The Bakers have all that and more! And they say I can visit them too. I mean, I like our home, but I don’t think Chad or Mr. Mayor would like it if we have a cow in the yard.”

“I don’t think I’d like it if we had a cow in the yard back there,” Jared muttered under his breath only to hear a soft laugh as Jensen leaned more against him. “This is another one of those things Daddy and I will have to discuss,” he replied and wondered if Jensen recognized one of his own looks of exasperation when it crossed their son’s face and he swore he heard Chris laugh and bet the driver that there would be cows or horses wherever they lived soon. “I can be an adult and refuse him,” he shot to the front of the car now that he knew Chris could hear them.

“No, you can’t, Daddy,” Nicky helpfully scoffed. “Sam and Chad both say you don’t adult very well at times.”

“And Chad Michael Murray is one to talk,” Jared snorted while seeing Jensen eyeing him with a teasing smile and wished they were alone so he could kiss him like he’d been wanting to since he first got his arms around him on that stage. “Are you okay?” he asked softly once Nicky’s attention went back outside. “Damn, Jen… that scared me and I will hurt someone for telling Hartley not to shoot.”

Jensen’s smile was drowsy as his body was just now starting to wind down from all the stress of earlier. It hadn’t been easy to stand on that stage in front of all of those people, half of whom probably hated his guts, much less confront one of the men who’d been the cause of his pain but he had.

It made him proud of himself that he had stood up to all the lies and insults, but what made him the proudest was that he hadn’t flinched or pissed himself when the man drew a knife on him. Jensen knew he’d felt fear but then it was just anger. He also thought it might’ve been because he knew he wasn’t alone and he seriously didn’t think he would’ve been cut.

Confronting his parents had been one thing and one he knew he’d probably have to do again before this battle was over, but right then he was tired, hungry and looking forward to time with Jared and Nicky. He was also considering something else if he didn’t overthink too much and talk himself right out of it before Nicky was in bed that night.

Feeling the light touch of fingers on his face reminded Jensen that he hadn’t answered Jared yet. Slipping Jared’s hand into his to hold it Jensen looked into his face with an honest smile. “I’m good,” he reassured him and kissed the knuckles of the hand he was holding. “I’m… actually feeling better than I have in a long time. I stood up to them, Jared. I didn’t back down and I held my own with Pellegrino,” he bit down a soft moan at the feel of warm lips caressing over his face. “I’m not saying I still won’t have nightmares or have other setbacks and I hope you don’t come to regret me coming…” he stopped when a finger touched his lips and understood. “I’m just trying to say… thank you for loving me and for giving me the courage to fight back.”

“Sugar, you have plenty of courage and always have,” Jared told him, pitching his voice low so only Jensen would hear him. “You stood up to your folks for me more times than I can count and let go of everything you had for me so…”

“No, because if you had left and I stayed behind, I know what would’ve happened, Jay,” Jensen glanced over to see that Nicky had fallen to sleep with his head on the furry back. “I have no regrets except for losing the last seven years and for leaving you a single father for so long. I swear I’ll make that up to you.”

“Waking up to you every morning, falling to sleep with you every night and watching you read to Nicky already has, Jen,” Jared murmured as he felt Jensen relax more in his arms and knew by the time they reached the ranch that they were staying at that he’d have two sleeping people on his hands. But he didn’t even consider urging Jensen to stay awake after the emotional drain he’d just endured.

He was just starting to drift a little himself when he felt the limo pull to a stop and heard a hand hit the top of the roof as if to give him some warning before Chris opened the door to peer in at them curiously.

“Do you think he’ll wake up if I try to carry him in or will that so-called puppy take my arm off?” he asked, giving Jared time to refuse his offer and using it to address the other matter that might still be hanging between them. “I gave Justin orders to shoot, Jared. Alaina told him to wait. He was stuck between me and the woman who actually signs his paycheck so…”

“If Jensen would’ve gotten so much as a nick on him then you and Hartley would already be swallowing teeth,” Jared began tightly, keeping his voice low while nodding that Chris could pick the sleeping child up. He in turned nudged Jensen until sleepy green eyes opened with a mutter that was half curse and half suggestion that nearly had Jared tripping and Gen giggling as she got the job of waking Nemo.

Mrs. Baker, the sweet older woman who was letting them stay with her and her husband, opened the door and immediately took Nicky herself since she chided Chris for carrying the child like a sack of potatoes. “Deacon and a couple of the cowboys who work here would like to take the little one for a little cowboy campout just south of the barn where there’s a fire pit since it’s going to be such a pretty night,” she was saying and quickly smiled. “You and those hooligans with you can come along too, Christian. Or send a couple of them and leave a couple outside of this place, but I think these boys could do with some time alone.”

Jared was certain he blushed while Chris turned on his heel to head back outside muttering about images he just did not want or need in his head. “If Nicky wakes up in time and it’s okay with Jensen once he wakes up fully then so long as Chris or someone goes with him, I guess it’ll be alright,” he told the older woman with a grateful smile and then tried to get Jensen upstairs so he could sleep in a bed without falling or dropping him since he’d forgotten how hands-on and clingy the man could be when half asleep.

He eased Jensen down onto the bed and had to chuckle when almost immediately Jensen rolled to pull a pillow close to his chest much like Nicky often did. “Love you, Jensen,” Jared whispered, brushing a hand down Jensen’s cheek before kissing it lightly and then he went to change into more casual clothes since he’d let Chris and Gen boss him into dressing up for that debate.

“So… can you tell me what happens to his folks or the asshole after that scene today?” Jared asked after he changed and headed downstairs to find Chris in the kitchen. “Can he file for a no contact order to keep them and their cronies away from him if it comes to it?”

Chris had been on the phone with Alaina who was still in Austin taking care of those matters with the help of the Governor’s office and several high powered people in Washington, D.C. “I don’t have all the details yet as they’re still ironing them out with lawyers of various kinds, but the odds are good that if the Ackles’ don’t want to face serious jail time, or more time than they will face for the crimes they’ve committed against Jensen as well as basically defrauding an election, then they and their supporters will stay the hell away from him and your family,” he remarked, taking a sip of coffee while considering the other issue. “Pellegrino’s… that’s going to be a little tougher but Alaina says that while his name will still be on the ballot, it’ll be hard to run for Senate behind bars, and that’s where he’ll be spending a good long time.”

“If they all don’t buy their way out of trouble,” Jared knew he sounded bitter but it was hard not to. “The man owned the hospital, Chris. Jensen saw him, heard him. Other than running on a fraud or whatever, there should be a way to make him pay for his own crimes against Jensen… or put a damn bullet in his brain.”

“That is still the popular theory going around my team since I’m told Mark slapped Justin around in your honor for not taking that shot and ending our problems with the asshole. But Pellegrino was more careful in his dealings so while there’s hard proof linking him to the Ackles and his own outbursts will go against him, it’ll just take longer to nail his ass,” Chris looked up as Jared let his head bang into a cabinet in frustration and guessed what he was thinking. “To push either case too far, to try for the maximum punishment… Jensen would have to testify and I promise you those damn defense lawyers would make it ugly. Alaina’s trying to get jail time without putting any of you through that hell, Jared.

“You talk it over with Jensen when he wakes up because in the end, it’ll be his decision how it plays out and Alaina said she’d be out sometime tomorrow,” the former bodyguard turned secret agent said as he stood up, stretched and blew out a breath. “Now I’m going to go have the guys draw straws to see who’s playing cowboy tonight and camping out with your kid under the stars cause it ain’t gonna be me.”

Jared laughed. He wasn’t surprised that while Nicky wanted to be with them he was also beyond excited to go sleep under the stars, have a campfire, eat junk, tell stories and be a cowboy. Before he and Nemo headed off for their adventure he hugged Jared, crept into the bedroom where Jensen was still sleeping to whisper ‘g’night, Daddy’ and then was off with a grumbling Justin and Mark who both drew short straws on this job.

Mrs. Baker made sure there was food for him and Jensen before explaining her Church group had a quilting retreat that evening and she’d be gone until the following evening.

It took a moment after being told by Chris to text him, Gen, or Matt if they needed anything during the night for Jared to realize he and Jensen were basically alone in the house. “Holy shit,” he breathed and let that sink in since this would be the actual first time since Jensen returned to him that they’d been really, truly alone and with a groan Jared reminded himself that he couldn’t do anything useful with that information since he’d promised to let Jensen be the one to make the next move on when they took another step in their relationship again.

Making up a tray of the plates the kind older lady had prepared, snacks and coffee as well as bottled water, Jared carried it upstairs to see that sometime Jensen must have woken up because the bed was empty and the shower was running; another image that made him shake his head.

“Hey, I brought some sandwiches and stuff up that Mrs. Baker fixed before she left for some quilting thing,” he called out after hearing the shower stop as he sat on the bottom of the bed to let himself lay back to stare at the ceiling and make himself not think of Jensen’s lean, still too thin, body toweling off. “Oh, and you don’t care that our kid’s off being a cowboy tonight, do you?”

“So long as he doesn’t adopt a cow and he’s not alone then I guess not,” Jensen replied after a long pause as if trying to decide what Jared was talking about. “Where is Nicky?” he asked another second later.

“Mr. Baker and a couple of his workers offered to take Nicky on a campout like real cowboys used to do so Chris sent Justin and Mark off to chaperone that,” Jared smirked as he imagined who would be chaperoning who.

Jensen was silent for several long moments and Jared began to worry. “Jen? You okay?” he asked while sitting up.

“Are we… alone?” Jensen asked tightly. “Really alone? The house to ourselves?”

“Yeah, it looks like it,” Jared grinned and stood up before he made the wrong comment. “No pressure or anything, Jensen,” he said in case the other man was thinking he might have set this up. “And I had nothing to do with this happening either. If being alone with me is still a little too soon then you tell me and I’ll… crap,” he breathed as the bathroom door opened and Jared was certain he’d just swallowed his tongue. “Jensen…”

Jensen stood in the door wearing only a towel around his narrow waist, rivulets of water still beading on his chest and running down his stomach. He looked at Jared for a long moment as if debating with himself before finally making a choice that he’d been battling with himself for the past several moments but learning that Nicky was safely out of earshot and they had the house to themselves seemed to make the choice for him and he went with it.

“Make love to me, Jared.”

**TBC**


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there is actual sex in this story and you've finally gotten to it, lol.

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Seventeen**

“Make love to me, Jared.”

Just a few simple words, words that Jared Padalecki had heard before but not in a long time, nearly had his head imploding with the rush of blood his heart suddenly sent pounding into his ears.

Those were the last words he expected Jensen to say this soon and as their eyes met he saw both the fear of his reaction and Jensen’s own self-doubts shining back at him. He had been trying not to push, to allow his once and future lover to get used to him again, to get settled with being back with him as well as learning to trust letting his body be touched after all of the abuse he’d suffered.

“I want you to know the only reason I’m not jumping at this offer and you aren’t already on that bed is because I want you to be sure this is what you want and not something you feel like you have to do. Because I am perfectly alright with waiting for however long you need,” Jared was saying even as his hands were moving to settle on Jensen’s hips as the young man stepped toward him. “I mean, I still don’t know all the details and that’s fine too, but I know you’ve been hurt and… I… I… God, I want you, Jen,” he groaned.

Jensen’s lips curled into a slow smile while he wrapped his arms around Jared’s neck. “I love you and I love you more for trying to give me that time. But I’m never going to get over the fear if I don’t prove to myself that I can have sex, that I can make love with you and not freak out the moment you touch me, because if so, then in the end everyone who hurt me will have still won,” he explained. “I want to make love with you,” he added but then felt a burst of unease that suddenly made him feel unsure. “But if you…”

“No buts,” Jared saw the change and wanted it stopped. So before he could change his mind or Jensen could allow his doubts to overwhelm him, Jared kissed him; slowly at first and then deepened it once he felt it returned. The moment when he felt Jensen’s arms tighten more around his neck, Jared went on instinct and memory and picked his lover up easily, groaning low in his throat when the towel dropped and Jensen’s legs twined around his waist.

The feel of Jensen’s body pressed against his, legs wrapped tight around him, nearly had all of Jared’s good intentions flying out the window. It had been seven years since he’d had sex, which might seem impossible to some but to Jared it was just normal given that he’d lost his partner and couldn’t bring himself to just have sex for the sake of relief; plus he’d been busy raising a child.

Now that he had Jensen in his arms, lying him down on the bed as gently as if he were spun glass, much like he had the first time they’d made love, it seemed like Jared’s body was reminding him of exactly how long it had been. He forced himself to ignore his own arousal and focus on Jensen to give him this moment.

Jared sat on the bedside to take his first real look at Jensen in seven years and could feel his anger at the abuse endured once again bubble up as he took in the scars, the welts and other evidence of long time abuse and torment along with the newer bruises that were still visible.

He also noticed that Jensen did seem to be putting on some weight since being back with him and Nicky from the night he’d arrived at his door, barely over a week ago, though it seemed like longer. Then, he could’ve counted his ribs and even touching Jensen had scared him for the fear of bruising him.

Now, while he still looked skinny, the change was also evident to Jared as his fingers brushed down the center of Jensen’s chest to skim over the scar on his stomach. He caught the hand that went to instinctively either cover the evidence of the unwanted surgery or stop Jared from touching it.

The change in Jensen as Jared had noticed was also more than physical, it was also emotional. Growing up, Jensen had always been the confident one. He hadn’t allowed anyone’s opinion of him to bother him. He took his few faults with a grain of salt and let the criticism roll off his back.

To Jared, his boyfriend had been perfect in all ways and certainly at 6’1” with a lean and rugged build, Jensen had the body to make both male and females look twice at him. But had just rolled his eyes when Jared would say that because to Jensen it hadn’t mattered what he looked like. Jensen was usually the one reassuring Jared how good he looked as he worked to grow into long legs and arms that had been gawky and gangly for many years until Jared hit 16 and then overnight he seemed to change.

Now it seemed like their roles were reversed as Jared had stopped paying attention to the compliments on his 6’4” well-muscled upper body but could sense that Jensen had lost all of that confidence over years of abuse and put-downs.

Catching his hand to mesh their fingers, he whispered soothing words while leaning down to let his lips ghost over the scar in light butterfly kisses; showing the scar the same love that he would soon show the rest of Jensen’s lean body.

“It hurts me to see you hurt,” he began slowly while continuing to kiss each scar he could see right then until slowly he felt Jensen begin to relax again as if seeing that Jared wasn’t ashamed of them. “I wish I could take away each of these scars and their memories but all I can do is hopefully help you to see that I see them as part of you now, and will love them as I love you.”

By the time he’d kissed his way up to lightly kiss along the line of Jensen’s jaw, he could feel Jensen’s body trembling but wasn’t sure if it was fully from desire or memories. “Tell me if you want to stop,” he whispered while kissing the shell of Jensen’s ear only to feel shaking fingers hesitantly slip under his t-shirt to touch his chest.

“I… I don’t want you to stop,” Jensen’s body was on a tight edge while his brain was fighting the darker memories that wanted him to stop what was happening, but he refused to give into those. He pushed his memories onto happier ones, to the other times he and Jared had made love or fooled around, and focused on the knowledge he was safe with this man.

Jared had always been larger, stronger than him, which was something Jensen good naturedly had teased his lover about many times, but no matter how intense the sex between them had gotten, Jared had never once hurt him more than a bruise or two that Jensen then recalled having to console his lover over when Jared had sworn to never touch him again.

“I want to feel you, Jay,” he arched up with a gasp as hot lips closed over his hardening nipple to begin to roll it with a skilled tongue and also felt his body begin to respond to the loving touches, nearly sobbing in relief that his inner fears might be unfounded.

Jensen hadn’t climaxed willingly or gotten hard without the use of sex stimulants forced on him by Misha Collins, or whoever else used his body and wanted him to respond in some way, since his last time with Jared and he’d feared even that had been taken away, despite how he’d felt a few days earlier.

“Can I touch you, sugar?” Jared asked once he realized what was happening and could see so much raw emotion on Jensen’s face as he felt his body’s reaction to the gentle touches and soft kisses.

“Aren’t you touching me now, Jared?” Jensen countered with an eye roll and then stilled as it clicked what was being asked. “Ummm… I… oh my God.”

Jared didn’t reply to the question. He merely kissed the corner of Jensen’s mouth with a smile before turning his full attention of the slowly hardening cock.

He’d caught on that Jensen was a little uneasy with his fully shaved body and wished he’d gotten a few more punches in on that asshole Collins as well as the senior Ackles for putting Jensen through a weekly shaving to keep his body smooth. He made no mention of this and just allowed his focus to remain on Jensen and the few drops of pearly white precome that he noticed glistening the head of his cock.

Considering what little he’d learned, what Jensen had shared and what he’d gathered from his own common sense, Jared had a grim suspicion Jensen hadn’t usually been allowed to have or been given any pleasure and more than likely had been kept trapped either with a cock ring or cage.

That was the first thing that he wanted to change and did so by carefully letting his finger run over Jensen’s cock before taking it into his hand to just hold, keeping his eyes on Jensen to see if he was okay with the touch before letting his fingers close loosely and began a slow stroking motion.

“Tell me if it’s too soon to touch you here, or if you want me to stop,” Jared ignored his own discomfort as his jeans began to get a little too tight when his cock hardened at the soft sounds Jensen was making without even being aware of it. “Feel good?”

“God, yeah,” Jensen couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt a touch that was pleasurable; it had probably been the last time with Jared. There’d been no gentle, teasing touches the last seven years; only pain and humiliation. He hadn’t even been able to touch himself to get off without being punished so while he was still tense, he slowly started to relax while forcing his eyes open after they’d closed on a low moan of enjoyment to watch long fingers stroke him with smooth movements while Jared’s other hand slipped between his legs to gently cup his slowly filling balls and tease them. “Jared, if you keep this up… I… I… mean… I…”

“When was the last time you came?” Jared asked flatly and knew the answer when Jensen’s lips turned down and a shadow crossed his face. “Damn them.”

Jensen heard the tone that meant Jared was angry but knew it wasn’t aimed at him and so didn’t tense like he would have once. “Once a week, at the weekly exam or whatever they called it, I’d be strapped down so they could milk my prostate since ‘touching’ myself was considered a sin. The only time I ever got hard during one of the assaults was if they drugged me so I would, but then they’d prevent me from coming so it was just more torture,” he replied quietly, hips thrusting up before he realized it to match the hand stroking him and could feel his cock getting harder at Jared’s gentle ministrations. “I… I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get hard again until the other day with you and it scared me a little. It scares me now. I… I don’t want to disappoint you and since it’s been so… fuck! Jared!”

“You won’t disappoint me, Jensen,” Jared chuckled as he bent forward to lick the drops of precome from the slit of the now almost fully hard cock and heard Jensen’s shout a moment before he had his first real climax in seven years. “That’s it, sugar. Just ride it out,” he coaxed while continuing to stroke Jensen through the short orgasm and didn’t miss the quick look of worry on his face. “Jensen, you haven’t had sex for pleasure or been allowed to climax freely in seven years. The fact that I just got you off with just my hand in a few minutes is amazing. Don’t worry so much and just let me give you this.”

The strength of the short orgasm surprised Jensen and he felt himself drift briefly in a state of pure bliss. He gave himself over fully into Jared’s care, returning the soft loving kisses while getting more anxious to touch Jared, skin to skin. With a low laugh at Jensen’s frustrated complaints about wearing too many damn clothes when he wasn’t wearing any, Jared pulled his t-shirt off, merely unsnapped his jeans and undid the zipper to try to relieve the building pressure there as he worked to get them to the next stage.

“Can you get on your knees to lean against the headboard?” Jared asked sliding off the bed to scour the bedroom for something suitable to use since he hadn’t actually thought this would happen so soon and didn’t have any lube or anything to use. He sure as hell didn’t plan to make love to Jensen without prepping him. He also wouldn’t put him on his stomach this soon either so was hoping he could make this work.

Jensen smirked but did as he was asked, understanding and appreciating the reason. He knew there would probably be moments where he’d tense or times when he’d flash and didn’t want to scare Jared or make him doubt doing this with him, so he easily rolled to his knees to fold his arms over the top of the headboard after leaning back to kiss Jared deeply.

“Love you,” he murmured into the kiss and then smiled as he heard his lover grumbling in the bathroom while he searched for something to use as a lubricant. “You could just use spit,” he called out and didn’t even have to look to know Jared was shooting him a narrowed eyed ‘Are you crazy’ look as he came back into the bedroom with a bottle in his hand.

“Uh, no, I am not just using spit to prep you,” Jared snorted and clamped down on every curse word he wanted to say regarding those who had or hadn’t even bothered to prep Jensen before assaulting him. “I never did and I never will, especially this time. And if it hurts you with my fingers you’d better tell me because I will not do this if you’re still hurt from any time before.”

“I’ll tell you if it hurts, Jay,” Jensen promised but didn’t think he’d have to. Jared would probably sense it before he could open his mouth, but as he tried to recall the last time Misha had used him he didn’t think he still had any injuries that might affect making love. He feared he’d be tight and the reaction to being touched, but willed himself to relax as he felt the bed dip as Jared knelt behind him. “Jared?”

Jared had removed his shoes and socks before getting on the bed behind Jensen, seeing him tense briefly but merely rested a hand on his shoulder to let him adjust to having someone behind him while also moving his eyes over the more intense scars and marks that littered Jensen’s shoulders, mid and lower back.

“I love you, Jensen,” he whispered and kissed the back of Jensen’s neck, feeling him shiver. “This might feel cold for a second.”

The lotion was the only thing in the bathroom he could find and hoped it really was unscented as he poured some into his hand and then along the crease of Jensen’s ass. He murmured softly against his shoulder before using the tip of his index finger to gently touch and rub in light circles until he located the rim of Jensen’s puckered and tight hole, but made no move to enter yet.

Jared spoke low, trying to keep his tone even despite how hard it was getting for him to concentrate given the way his trapped cock was angrily reminding him that he still had jeans on. He felt the ripple of tension go through Jensen at the first touch but just waited patiently, lightly rubbing his finger in slow circles along the rim to give the man time to adjust or stop him.

At the first touch of a fingertip against his hole there was a series of brutal memories that flashed in front of Jensen’s closed eyes, reminding him of the searing shock of pain of having either hard cocks or various toys shoved in his ass without any prep or stretching, and feeling like he was being ripped in two.

It was hard not to let that panic overwhelm him but even as it almost did, Jensen heard Jared’s voice in his ear talking calmly to him while his finger just continued to rub in soft circles rather than push inside and he knew he was giving him time to adjust to his touch. Jensen also knew that if he asked, Jared would stop, and that knowledge gave him the strength to wipe the dark memories aside and give a nod that he was okay.

Jared kissed Jensen’s face and nearly called a stop the second he tasted salty tears on his face. “Jensen? Are you sure that you want to go this far?” he demanded tightly; knowing it would difficult but he’d stop if that’s what Jensen needed.

“Yeah, I’m… I’m good,” Jensen assured him after another couple seconds, turning his head to look into worried eyes with a shaky smile. “I’m… scared but… I want this, Jay. I want to feel you inside me. I want to replace all the damn pain and bad memories with good ones again. Just… go slow?” he asked.

“I’ll go as slow as you need, Jen,” Jared promised with a soft kiss that heated slowly while he let his finger begin the slow process of working past the tight rim to begin to open and stretch Jensen to take him without too much discomfort. “If I go too fast, just tell me to slow down, okay?”

As it turned out, he wasn’t going too fast that soon had Jensen complaining about how slow his lover was going in his need to carefully prep him.

At first there was a great deal more pain and burn from just a single finger than Jensen had counted on and he had to bite his lip a couple times to keep from asking Jared to stop because he knew it would get better; it had to get better. From what he could remember, there hadn’t been this much damn pain the first time they’d made love back when he’d been 16 and Jared was 17.

Slowly, as a second finger finally joined the first, he noticed a change. The pain wasn’t as sharp and the remaining burn would only last a minute or two before Jensen began to feel another sensation that soon had him fighting the urge to push back, trying to gain more of Jared’s fingers in his ass while his cock had started to come alive again as well.

“Shh, just relax,” Jared had felt the tension, and at first feared it was due to bad memories, when suddenly he was pinned by deep green eyes darkened by desire as Jensen turned to look over his shoulder at him.

“I want to feel your cock, Jared,” he muttered, voice a little deeper, huskier as desire began to take hold. “Now. Please… just… oh!” Jensen’s body came alive in a way that he hadn’t felt in years as suddenly Jared’s two fingers brushed over a spot inside him that had only been touched by sterile clinical tools. “Again! Do… do that again?”

It made Jared happy to hear Jensen say that as his fingertips brushed over his prostate again and then felt more of the tension melt away in Jensen as his body began to react more to his simple touches. Soon he was able to add a third finger after scissoring the two stretched tight inner muscles that Jared could still feel some scarring with his fingertips from too many brutal assaults.

Jensen’s cock had gotten hard much faster this time and was now dripping steadily while he offered muttered complaints and some helpful suggestions to Jared as he worked to finish stretching him. “Jared, I swear it didn’t take you this long the first time. I promise I won’t break if you put your cock in my ass. I may stop speaking to you for a day or two, or side against you with Nicky for a month if you don’t actually do something soon.”

“You’re still bossy, Jen,” Jared whispered as he kissed Jensen before sliding off the bed long enough to shed his jeans and boxer briefs and immediately felt relief as his red, angry and weeping cock was freed from the restrictive items.

The sight of Jensen’s body leaning against the headboard, a thin sheen of sweat coating it, nearly had Jared coming just from that but he worked to calm down or else he knew he’d come the second he felt tight inner heat close around him. And Jared knew they had both worked too hard to ruin this moment.

Jensen smirked but then looked over to let his eyes move over Jared’s long muscular body for a silent moment. He eyed his dripping cock before looking back up into his eyes. “You’re still gorgeous, Jay,” he said and laughed fully when Jared still blushed at being told that. “So? You gonna stick that thing in this hole that you’ve just spent four hours stretching or what?”

It surprised Jensen that he was able to tease Jared this soon even when he still felt nervous but then his nervousness left to be replaced by confusion when instead of climbing back onto the bed to position himself behind him, Jared moved to stretch out on the bed.

“It was not four hours… maybe 90 minutes or so,” Jared corrected while reaching up to put his hands on Jensen’s hips to easily urge him closer as he explained. “Can you see where I’m going with this, Jensen?” he asked, still seeing the confused wrinkled brow creasing Jensen’s face until he gave another tug that soon had him straddling Jared’s hips and slowly realization could be seen dawning on him.

Jared reached up to touch Jensen’s face, smiling as warm lips met his palm while Jensen’s hands flattened on his chest as he let himself adjust to this position and what Jared was doing for him. “I want you to control things, sugar,” he said, going on while watching Jensen’s pupils beginning to get bigger as lust began to increase. “I spent that entire prep time trying to figure out a way to make love with you that wouldn’t put you on your back or stomach this soon because I know if anything triggers you, it’ll be feeling someone else’s weight and I want you to enjoy this so… I thought we could try it this way. Unless you want to top for a change?”

In all the times before, Jensen had never shown any desire to top. He’d always been a bottom, willingly for Jared, and then not so willingly in the recent years so he understood Jared’s concern now. So far he’d worked through the few tense moments but now that Jared had mentioned it, he wasn’t sure what would happen the first time he felt real body weight holding him down.

The position Jared was offering right then would still put Jensen as technically the bottom since it would still be his ass receiving Jared’s large and ready cock, but this position gave Jensen control of the speed and force of movement. It would give him control and that was something he hadn’t had for a long time and it made him totally love this man so much more.

“No, I… I don’t want to top but… I will try this way,” he remarked while leaning down to meet Jared’s kiss fully, deeply and this time gave himself over to it when the kiss heated slowly; letting his body get used to straddling Jared before pulling back to ease up enough to let the head of Jared’s cock find his stretched hole.

“Go slow, Jensen,” Jared urged cautiously, fingers tight but not too tight on Jensen’s hips to help balance him as he began to slide slowly down. He watched the flash of surprise cross Jensen’s face at the brief but intense burst of pain as the head of his cock slipped up past his rim. “There’s no hurry. We’ve got all night and you might still not be stretched fully to… hmmm,” he bit his lip at the feel of still tight inner muscles closing around him as Jensen allowed his body weight to help him slide down a little at a time.

At first the sensation was odd, tight, and painful but Jensen held himself with his arms supported on Jared’s chest until the burning pain as his body stretched more to allow for the width of Jared’s cock eased into just unpleasant.

There were flashes of memory, of feeling his body torn and used, of hearing crude words breathed into his ear as well as sick sounds of grunting but Jensen worked to block those out when Jared’s voice was also heard talking to him, soothing him and coaxing him back to the present.

“You okay?” Jared asked while helping to support Jensen so he didn’t lower himself too quickly and cause himself more pain. “Jensen? We can… okay, I get it. Shut up,” he said when Jensen looked down at him with a look that told Jared where their son got his extreme concentration look from.

It took several moments before Jensen began to let his body inch down again and with each move the burning discomfort was fading away until the pleasure took its place and he was fully seated; the feeling of Jared’s cock pressed against his prostate, making his already leaking cock now drip in a steady stream, had him beginning to slowly rock until he found a motion that suited them both.

“I’m okay, Jay,” Jensen said when Jared’s worried question invaded his head as he’d been losing himself in the feel of being filled with a cock that wasn’t jamming into him painfully and tearing him open with each rough thrust. “I… I’ve missed you, babe.”

The deep husky drawl nearly had Jared’s restrained emotions tearing free but he managed to hold it back except for a watery laugh as Jensen’s shaky fingers moved up to brush the stray tears that Jared hadn’t known he’d shed while watching Jensen’s face during this. “I’ve missed you too, Jen,” he said and then settled to give his lover this moment but doubted if either of them would last long.

Jensen had lifted off a little to let himself come back down to groan at the feel coursing through him with each touch of Jared’s cock against his prostate. He was positioned that each time he moved, he got that electric zing of feeling, and he pressed his palms flat against solid muscle while rocking himself.

He looked down to see Jared’s eyes locked on his while his fingers hovered over his stomach. “Touch me, Jared,” he gasped out, wanting to feel Jared’s fingers on his cock as he felt an upward thrust that made him groan as it made that feeling inside him all the more intense. “Again.”

Jared had been fighting his body’s need to move, trying to give Jensen time, but he was losing the fight as he watched his lover’s face to see half closed eyes, lips slightly parted on soft moans of pleasure but what finally caused his hips to thrust up to meet and match Jensen’s movements was when fingers closed over a rock hard nipple to tease it.

“Jensen… God…” he groaned out while managing to focus on matching the rhythm of Jensen’s rocking motion with gentle rolls upward with his hips as well as stroking Jensen’s cock with one hand while Jensen caught his other and pressed it against his own chest, over his beating heart. “You look and feel so damn good like this, sugar.”

It was Jensen’s turn to blush as his cheeks turned a faint pink at the words. His lips curved into a shy smile as he began to rock a little faster, an act that told Jared that he was getting close to the edge, which was good since he’d been on that edge for 20 minutes but had been trying to hold back his orgasm to give Jensen as long as he needed or wanted.

“Jensen, I’m not sure how much longer I can hold off,” Jared admitted, voice tight from struggling to keep still and also from emotions he hadn’t felt in years while watching Jensen move on him. “Do you… I mean...”

“Wanna feel you come inside me, Jay,” Jensen told him on a groan, tightening his legs as well as his inner muscles and smiled with a feeling of pure bliss as he watched Jared’s face as he came on a gasp of his name and felt hot come begin to fill him as Jared’s body hit its climax. At that moment Jared’s fingers went up the sensitive nerve on the backside of his cock and he let himself fall over the edge into his second climax of the night.

The rush of watching Jensen as his second orgasm hit him was almost too much for Jared. He felt hot strips of come spilling out over his own chest and stomach and he tried to keep his fingers moving to help milk Jensen’s much more intense climax while watching his face at the feel of his own come filling Jensen, hearing soft whispers and moans of pleasure.

The emotion, the need, the want they both felt in that moment rocked both men until soon words were no longer needed and the bedroom was silent except for the sounds of flesh on flesh, soft moans and whispers of love and need until a glance up had Jared’s arms shooting up to catch Jensen as he saw a flash of white as green eyes rolled back from the force of the orgasm and he fell forward with a whimper.

“Jensen!” Jared caught him and gently eased the shaking man forward to rest on his chest while his hips gave a couple more gentle thrusts to complete his climax.

Staying still for a moment to try to regain his breath and slow his beating heart, Jared run shaking fingers through sweat soaked, short dark blond hair to hear a murmur and knew Jensen had just been knocked out by the force of the dual orgasms and the emotions shared between them after so many years of being apart and all the dark emotions he’d endured against his will.

It took Jared several seconds to find the strength to move. He hated to lose this contact or possibly disturb Jensen who appeared to be sleeping peacefully, but knew he had to get a wet cloth to wipe them off or risk an embarrassing situation if the come from Jensen’s last climax dried while they were lying like this.

“Hmm, no… don’t wanna move,” Jensen mumbled sleepily and a little grumpy at the disturbance of being gently eased to his side, feeling the loss the moment Jared slid his cock out to quickly grab a warm cloth from the bathroom before slipping back onto the bed beside him. “Don’ leave…”

“Shhh, I’m not leaving you, sugar. I never left you after we made love. I just needed to get a cloth to wipe us off because I honestly do not want to deal with Kane if we got stuck together like that,” Jared remarked with a grin as he wiped the cloth over Jensen’s body before doing the same to his own. When he was finished, he worked to get his sleepy lover into a pair of sweats to sleep in but was quickly reminded that a sleepy Jensen was just as difficult to dress as their son often was. Jensen was both clingy and determined when tired and wanting to snuggle after making love with him. “I’m going to hold you, Jen,” he promised and did just that after pulling on a pair of pants himself and slipping under the sheet to wrap his arms around Jensen. “Happy now?”

“Very,” Jensen murmured while nuzzling Jared’s neck with his lips before slowly lifting his head to give a happy, satisfied smile. “I love you, Jared,” he whispered, meeting the kiss that came. Slowly, it heated and Jensen let his lips part on a soft sigh after feeling the teasing touch of Jared’s tongue lick over his lips. He welcomed the feel of it as Jared let it slowly enter to carefully explore and then play with Jensen’s tongue in an act that spoke of Jensen’s trust in him.

“Mmm, love you too, Jensen,” Jared replied after breaking the kiss, feeling Jensen settle into his arms with a relaxed smile on his face and his one hand lying flat over Jared’s heart. “Hey Jen?” he called before drifting off himself but heard a soft sound that told him that Jensen was still awake enough to hear him. “I know this whole mess is far from over and I’ll be by you no matter what comes… including whenever you want to look into one of those specialists the doctor was talking about… if you still want to, that is.”

Jensen blinked and then his smile lit his eyes as he kissed Jared again. “I do. I do want to talk to one of them and see what they think, to see if there is a chance I could carry your baby and give you another son or even a little girl. I know it has to wait until this damn crap with the election and my family is settled, and we should talk it over with Nicky but… thank you for not saying no; for at least wanting to talk to someone to see if that artificial womb thing is even legit.”

“So long as there’s no danger to you then I’ll listen, ‘cause I will never not support you in something you feel strongly about, Jensen,” Jared shifted more to his back, bringing Jensen with him to lay his head and hand on his chest. “I love you and now that I have you back, we’re together for better or worse, sickness and in health. You and I will grow old on a porch watching Nicky’s kids play in our yard.”

The scene made Jensen smile more and as he drifted off to sleep with Jared’s heart beating under his ear; he knew that no matter what came now that he would survive it and hopefully he would be able to give Jared that family that he’d always promised him.

**TBC**


	18. Chapter 18

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter Eighteen**

The morning after came too soon for the couple. They did have time to share a shower and were making out in the kitchen over a breakfast of heated up stew from the night before when the whirlwind that was their seven year old son came bursting through the backdoor with Nemo hot on his heels. Both made a beeline for Jensen, who’d just managed to move away from a laughing Jared to catch Nicky, lifting him up in his arms.

“Hi Daddy!” the little boy’s face and hands were covered in grime and sticky from eating marshmallows last night, but he was too excited to share his adventures to care or notice the dark look Jensen shot at the door at an equally dirty but tired looking Mark Sheppard. “We had a campfire, and roasted hot dogs, and ate marshmallows off of sticks, and then there was a wolf and…”

Jared was just turning from the stove to latch onto Jensen before he could put the boy down and go for a quickly backpedaling Mark. “A wolf?” he repeated warily.

“No!” the shorter man scoffed while staying out of the kitchen and away from Jensen’s wrath. “It was a bloody wild dog if it was anything but…”

“Nope, Mr. Baker shot it dead and he said it was a wolf,” Nicky corrected the adult with a frown but didn’t understand why he was shaking his head at him. “He said he’d skin it and we could… Daddy? Are you growling at Mr. Mark?” he asked as Jensen sat him on a chair at the table before starting to lunge for the door only to snarl when Chris Kane stepped in.

“Those morons of yours let my son out there in the field at night while there was a damn wolf?” he glared and whirled to shoot Jared a sharp look. “Laugh at me and I swear that what happened last night will not happen to you for a good six months, Jared,” he warned. “Nicky could’ve been eaten alive! He could’ve…”

Chris had gotten the report last night about the wolf but believed the older man when he assured him that it was alone and that every couple months one wandered onto the property and the cowboys would either trap it to let it go, or if it got too close, would shoot it.

“Nicky wasn’t in danger, Jensen,” he assured the frantic father and was glad the child distracted Jensen since he’d seen him eyeing the block of knives on the counter. “The wolf was spotted by one of the cowboys and shot before it even got close but… your kid is as curious as his other father there and kept pestering the men until they showed him the carcass and no, there will be no skinning it.”

“Is it too late to run for Senate in a nice New England town?” Jensen asked but sat down to let Nicky move onto his lap. He decided he’d need another shower to get all the dirt and stickiness off of him but slowly did smile as he heard the joy and excitement as Nicky recalled the fun he’d had and asked if they moved to Texas and got a ranch, if they could have cowboys and campouts all the time. “We’ll see about living close to the Bakers since neither your Dad nor I would have the first clue to running a ranch,” he told the little boy while adding, “And we’d only have to move if I win this thing and if I take the seat.”

“Mr. Mark and Justin said you’re a shoe in, Daddy,” Nicky reported with a smile as Jared placed a bowl of cereal in front of him once he came back from washing his hands and face. “Daddy? Why would you put your shoe in a race?”

Chris smirked at the innocent question but it was hearing Jensen actually laugh that told him that slowly, his former friend was healing. He also decided to wait to reveal what the call from Alaina Huffman told him until later when the woman arrived so he slipped outside to give the small family time alone; something he feared they might have difficulty finding for a long time if the election played out like they suspected it would.

** Six Years Later, Birkshead, North Carolina: **

“Senator, in six years you’re certainly made an impact on the Senate floor, but you’ve barely spoken to the press in person unless you had to and even then it was short, brief, and to the point… why the sudden decision to sit down in front of a camera for a television interview? And why not choose a local station and journalist for the interview?” Danneel Harris asked in her TV interview voice, which was vastly different than the one she used when shouting for her surrogate nephew to get out of a tree.

“Truthfully? Because my press advisor got snotty and said I had to, so I figured I would and as for the choice of style and journalist? I chose TV because I often get misquoted in print and it’s easier to tell my intent if the people can see my face,” Senator Jensen Ackles-Padalecki replied easily, lips curving into a more natural snarky grin than his professional smile that he often used. “I chose you because you try to stay in the middle of the political jungle when reporting on it. You’ll report the pros and cons and not suck up just to get a better story.”

Of course Jensen kept to himself that he also chose the woman because of her unwavering friendship and loyalty to Jared over the last six years; six years that were both hell and joyful for them both.

Even after six years of being called Senator and dealing with both the good and bad in Washington, Jensen still wasn’t sure what the hell had happened to get him to the point he was at right then in his life. It still seemed so unreal if he let himself think about it.

The afternoon after his debate and near assault from his opponent Mark Pellegrino found Jensen sitting with Jared and Alaina Huffman while Nicky played outside to be told the situation as the woman saw it.

“Your parents will both face stiff prison terms as it is, serving 7-10 years in minimum security facilities in Oklahoma and Tennessee for keeping you prisoner, for essentially selling you to Collins for his service of your fake campaign manager, for faking and defrauding a Senate election, as well as another 3 years for what they did to you seven years ago… hear me out,” the red head Federal agent was quick to hold up a hand to halt the furious interruption from a pissed off Jared. “Yes, they both could get much longer sentences for kidnapping, illegal imprisonment, torture, brainwashing and the sterilization but… to push those charges, to get them to serve those longer sentences, would mean exposing Jensen to the pain and humiliation of a public trial.”

Alaina looked at both men before settling on Jensen who’d moved closer to Jared’s side on the sofa. “If there was any way to make them serve life or know the pain you’ve felt without making you go through a trial, of having you relive that whole horror as well as the abuse you’ve suffered recently, then I would nail their asses to the wall,” she remarked, leaning forward to touch to his hand as she went on. “They will both go to jail. They will not be able to buy their way out of the charges, the public admission of what they did to you ensures that neither they nor their friends or any family will be able to contact you, Jared, or you son. If anyone breaks that rule then the plea bargain is over and they’re stuck behind bars until they both rot,” she watched Jensen’s face. “It’s not locked in yet. Is there anything else you’d like to add? I’m meeting with the lawyers this evening to finish nailing things down.”

Jensen stood up to pace restlessly. He hated that for all of their crimes, for the pain and misery they put him through, that his parents would only face that amount of jail time. Of course as he listened to Jared rant to Alaina and he peered out the window at Nicky, Jensen knew that any amount of time locked in a jail, even a minimum security one, would be horrifying for his rich and spoiled parents.

The thought of them behind bars with no servants, no fancy clothes, no dinner parties or afternoon teas or fancy brunches at the Country Club, made his lip curve. Jensen knew no amount of jail time would give him back the years he lost or recover what they took from him but at least it might give him peace of mind that his family would be safe from retribution from his father’s pals.

“I… I want the trust fund that was in my name from both my grandfather and a great aunt, and I want all the money that should’ve been mine from them as well as what was in the bank that I took with me but they stole so Jared couldn’t access it after they took me away from him,” Jensen turned from the window to face Alaina firmly. “I also want it in writing that they will never, even if they get out, try to contact me or allow any of their cronies to come near my family. I will keep the Ackles name because I will not let them take everything but officially, I’ll use the hyphenated version even though our son and any children Jay and I have in the future will only carry his name.”

Alaina wrote all of that down, nodding. “I don’t think those demands are too unreasonable given what they could lose by fighting it,” she said but then frowned a little. “The matter of Pellegrino is a bit more complicated and for many of the same reasons. To get him on his connections with your father’s actions years ago, you’d have to testify and his lawyers will claim your testimony is worthless given the drugs and abuse you’d suffered.”

“So what? The jackass walks?” Jared snorted but stayed sitting as Jensen came back to sit beside him. “He faked his own campaign! He pulled a knife on Jensen and shoved the moderator! Those should get him some punishment at least!”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t facing charges, Jared. I said there were issues with getting him on the older ones,” Alaina replied soothingly, explaining the complicated issue as simply as possible. “He will be banned for ever from running in any political race, in any state, from this moment forth. He will probably face a short jail sentence for his actions, as well as the events of yesterday. Given his past history as well as his arrogance… I’m sure the man will probably suffer an unfortunate… ‘accident’ of some kind sooner or later,” she added with a small playful glint in her eyes but didn’t comment farther on that issue. “His name will be removed from the ballot as well which means you will be running either unopposed or the voters can choose to write in an independent candidate. There are six more months of the race left, so depending on what you choose to do…”

“I said I’d run and I will,” Jensen chewed his lip while looking at Jared for a moment. “If I win… then I’ll decide what to do.”

As it turned out after six months of making the usual campaign appearances, of choosing to go out and meet people, talk to them and even sit down for a more casual one on one with a local TV station to answer questions, Jensen found that he did, albeit slowly, actually want to win and accept the position in hopes of maybe doing something good for people who had very little voice in Washington from the state of Texas.

A week before the actual election, he and Jared and Nicky sat down as a family to discuss what it would mean if he took the seat instead of stepping down to allow the Governor to name a replacement until they could hold another election.

“I won’t do it if you don’t want me to,” he told his husband. “I know six years is a long time and it would mean moving to Texas, as well as going back and forth to Washington. We might also have to get Nicky a tutor or enroll him in a school here in Austin. It would also mean you’d have to leave Jeff’s paper and I hate for your lives to be uprooted, so…”

“Jensen, I moved Nicky to Birkshead because it was a small town that I thought we could get lost in and they were nice there,” Jared interrupted smoothly as he took Jensen’s hands in his. “We don’t have to live in Austin if it doesn’t work out. We can find a small town in Texas that doesn’t hate on gays and stuff… there are some and there might be more one day. I want whatever makes you happy, sugar,” he said. “Nicky and I will go wherever you need to be and will support you in anything you do.”

Nicky was too young to fully understand everything but he said he’d be happy so long as he had both of his Daddy’s with him as well as Nemo… and a pony.

A week later found Jensen hyperventilating as it became official that he had won the election, even with a couple independents running to try to derail him. “Congratulations, Mr. Senator,” Jared had whispered against his ear as they shared their last private moment. It became quickly plain that privacy wasn’t going to be easy to come by as a newly elected Senator and one with as much drama as Jensen brought given that he was also the first openly gay Senator the state had ever had as well as its first one to still carry the MPG.

It had been three months after the election’s end and before he was sworn in that Alaina had set up an appointment with a specialist out of Boston who specialized in male pregnancies, the MPG, as well as was a leader in the area of caring for those who’d under gone much of the same horrors as Jensen. He soon became one of the specialists on the team of doctors who had created Jensen an artificial womb.

Jim Beaver was a kind, friendly, caring man who took his time to explain things in more detail to the now fully married couple after he’d gone over the extensive tests that Jensen had gone through.

“What the doctor in Raleigh told you was correct,” he began as he met with the couple in his office in Boston. “It’s a false belief of those who disapprove of the carriers of the gene that if they sterilize the man like they do females, that it destroys the gene and that’s not true. It damages it, making it more difficult to conceive or carry to term, but it can’t ever fully destroy it as it’s a part of you and over time, with the proper care and vitamins, the gene will get strong again depending on how strong it was to begin with.”

The older man with thinning hair looked over the results before lifting his eyes to look at Jensen. “I’m going to be honest, after seeing the medical reports on you and seeing what all that assholes who claim to be doctors did… I wasn’t looking for much hope. But! Despite it all, the gene is still strong in you, son,” he said with a smile but it dimmed as he addressed the other issue. “The removal of your womb is the tricky part in your case because the surgeon who did it left no room for error.”

“So… you’re saying even if I could get pregnant due to my still having the gene, I can’t because I couldn’t carry a baby anyway,” Jensen had known this and he’d been telling himself not to build his or Jared’s hope up on a lost cause, but it still hurt to hear it said; his fingers restlessly moving over his flat but toned stomach until Jared took it into his to hold.

“Yes, as it stands right now you’d never be able to carry a child,” Beaver replied but waved a hand when the newly elected Senator started to stand while blindly thanking him for his time. “Now just sit back down and hear me out,” he requested. “I’ve spent over 35 years working on and perfecting this artificial womb so that it can give back what bigots have taken away from men such as yourself, and even for young women whose wombs aren’t strong enough.

“The procedure is in no way a sure thing but in the 200 surgeries I’ve done, and those done by others in the field, the success rate is a strong 96% that the womb is implanted without issue and the man becomes pregnant and carries a baby nearly to term. As you probably remember, even with a natural womb the odds of a male carrying to term was always a little low,” the doctor told them seriously. “You’re young and despite the trauma your body has endured, you’re in good health with strong genes. So if and when you and your husband are ready, I’d be willing to take you on as a patient.”

Learning that the procedure may work thrilled Jensen but worried Jared after he started asking questions about risks and the dangers of the implant being rejected, as well as if it was safe for long term or would it rust or go bad.

“You’ve been looking online a little too much and on sites made by opponents of the procedure,” Beaver had chuckled as he then went on to explain that this procedure was very safe and since it had been better made now the risks of it being rejected by Jensen’s body was only 2%. “You boys have time to talk it over and since Jensen’s going to be busy for the next six years, I think by the time you decide you’ll have time to look into my work more and maybe talk to some couples who have families because of it.”

Jensen actually figured facing his fear of hospitals, of allowing himself to be put under to face surgery to implant an artificial womb, would be far less scary and easier to handle than life as a Senator.

Even though he’d been elected, it wasn’t a smooth ride. He received many death threats before his swearing in and many more after it, but those didn’t actually bother him. It was when he learned of the ones Jared had been receiving or the day his little boy came home crying because someone in his new school called his Daddy a bad word that it began to bother him more.

The hardest adjustment for the small family came by moving from the small and close knit town in North Carolina to a place just outside of Austin. It wasn’t a ranch but it was close enough to the Bakers that Nicky could visit the kindly grandparent like couple when he wanted and play with their animals.

The school in Austin was large, with more kids than Nicky was used to, and most of them had parents who didn’t approve of gays having children. This made Jared’s first few months back in Texas difficult given that Jensen was in Washington a lot in the start of his term, resulting in putting some stress on the couple.

The first time Nicky was physically threatened by another child’s father for being a bastard of two faggots and came home with a bruise, Jensen flew back home on a redeye to attend a school meeting with Jared and the school board.

“When my husband and I looked into your school district it was shown to have the least amount of anti-gay tolerance and hate in it,” he said firmly while glaring at the men and women of the board. “I ran on an anti-hate platform. I ran on the belief that with tolerance could come peace… that’s the professional Senator side. You don’t have that man in front of you right now. You have the pissed off father of a seven year old who was called a bastard and touched by some asshole who thought he could get away with it and when I’m done here, I’m heading for the local police station to show him and every other closet bigot in your school just how wrong that thinking is.”

Jared had been terrified and furious since even when they’d encountered hate before, no one had gone so far as to touch his son. This was the first time and it had pissed him off to the point where when Jensen had called home, as he did every night, he’d been so frustrated and at a loss after having spent the afternoon shouting at the principal and keeping the Bakers from heading into town to shoot the asshole who had scared their sweet little dumpling, that he’d broken down to tell Jensen things he hadn’t before.

It hadn’t surprised him that Jensen was pissed to learn Nicky had been threatened but it did surprise him to watch his quiet, still often shy husband quickly and skillfully rip each board member a new asshole and promise to pull his son from their school and would start an investigation for ethics if anything like that happened to any child in the district again.

After that, Jensen made it a point to try to fly home on weekends or on school breaks or vacations. Jared and Nicky would fly with the now grown and huge Nemo to the townhouse Jensen lived in while working in the Nation’s capital.

Security increased after a near kidnapping of the new Texas Senator; a kidnapping that was pinned on supporters of Richard Ackles which immediately had the plea deal yanked and the senior Ackles would now spend his remaining years behind bars. It also had Jared opening his door one morning to a smirking Chris Kane.

“Death threats are one thing but an actual kidnapping crossed the line. So until you leave the Senate floor for the last time, you’re stuck with us,” he told an unhappy Jensen who’d bitched about having to have bodyguards in the first place and then got worse when he learned who it was. “You’re used to us. Your kid is used to us… hell, that thing that Jared swears is a dog is used to us… So just suck it up, Jensen.”

Jensen had never fully forgiven his former friend for his actions years earlier but they had slowly come to some sort of truce. Honestly, if he had to have anyone for a bodyguard, the young Senator guessed he’d deal with men who’d worked hard to protect his family during the election.

It was a slow process for everyone to adjust to. Nicky slowly made friends and he liked to play baseball so he was asked to try out for the school baseball team and easily was accepted by his teammates and coaches. Soon most of the hate faded, once it was shown that despite having two fathers that he was just like every other kid in Texas.

Jared mainly stayed at home so he could be there when Nicky left and came home. He had only worked at Jeff Morgan’s paper to have an income but now he found that he liked being outdoors while Nicky was at school. He still had his doubts about his abilities which Jensen soothed and a snarky Mark Sheppard just said he could do whatever he set his mind to so go do something useful.

Because of his love of animals and because they had a spare building on their land, he allowed a local vet to open a small clinic there for the people around the area who couldn’t afford the large animal hospitals. Jared could often be found there during the day.

He still kept in touch with his friends from Birkshead. Danneel had gotten a job with a national news show to do TV reporting now while Gen had left her job as one of Chris’s team after an injury sidelined her. How she ended up back in North Carolina, Jared wasn’t sure but he’d heard the pure joy in Chad’s voice when he called to announce they were getting married that winter and he expected all of them to be there.

Being the husband of a busy Senator wasn’t easy, but Jared was just happy to have Jensen back in his life. They spoke everyday on the phone and spent time together when they could. During the times when Jensen was working, Chris was glued to his side while Mark and Justin stayed near Jared and Nicky, even though the threats to them had eased off slowly into the second year of Jensen’s term.

Professionally, Jensen found it hard at the start to balance it all. He missed his family and he quite frankly despised most of his fellow Senators as most of them were all talk as he told Jared one night during a trip home and they were lying in bed after having made love.

Washington saw Jensen as a pushover; someone the senior people could push around to get his vote on their bills. It only took six months for him to show them how wrong they were.

“I survived abuse, brainwashing, and basically being used as a mouthpiece for bigots. I survived and came out of that whole and my own man. So if I could survive that crap from my own family I sure as hell won’t be pushed around by the good old boy network in DC,” he said on the Senate floor after a heated debate between sides on some bill regarding health care for working mothers who couldn’t afford it. “Those working parents, men and women, barely make minimum wage and can barely afford to house, clothe and feed their families without adding increased health care on top of it; so hell no, I’m not voting for that crap.

“You want me to vote for it? Okay, I’ll vote to raise health care for working parents with small children when the House and Senate both agree to take a pay decrease for two years. You decrease what you get paid, you put that money into a fund to raise minimum wage for those people struggling to live on it and raise a family and then we’ll talk,” he said, and that was end of that bill.

Jensen might be quiet but his snarky side quickly became known in both Washington and the state capital of Texas when he made visits home and just as easily shot down those lobbyists who tried to get him to vote for things that often had him laughing.

He gained friends, as well as enemies, with his views but in his six years he also got more bills passed to increase the rights and protection for not only carriers of the MPG but he also pushed for, and got it passed, to help those victims of forced sterilization and womb removals to get medical help and therapy if they needed it.

It was in his fifth year that Jensen made the choice, with Jared’s full support, to go through the procedure of having the artificial womb implantation surgery. Usually such a thing would have been kept quiet but as he told a wide eyed Chris the evening he announced his decision to his staff before they left Washington for the holiday break, “My whole life was made public and while this is a private thing between my husband and myself it will impact my life as a Senator, so I might as well tell them what’s going on.”

The choice brought him support as well as hate, but the hate was something the couple had grown used to and thanks to Chris and his team, most of it never got close to the couple or their son.

They’d chosen to not tell Nicky everything so he wouldn’t be scared when Jared was scared enough for all three of them. The surgery would take place in Boston and Nicky would spend it in North Carolina with Chad and Gen and the friends they still had back there.

Jared wouldn’t budge from a nervous Jensen’s side and he made sure the whole staff understood the risks if anything went wrong or if they did anything to hurt Jensen.

“Jay, I love you and I love that you’re here with me but if you don’t stop growling at Jim’s staff, they will knock you out or pay Chris to shoot you, so please… just kiss me and promise me you’ll be the first thing I see when I wake up?” Jensen had made Jim Beaver go over the process multiple times and he’d asked about the anesthesia so he was sure he’d be totally unconscious for this. While he was scared, he knew if it worked the outcome was far more important than his fears.

“Sugar, I’d be with you in the operating room if Jim would let me,” Jared had told him and then spent the next nine hours pacing the halls and snarling at Chris whenever he suggested he sit down. “Did they say it would take this long?” he demanded, unable to sit down for long since every negative thing that could go wrong was going through his head until a smiling Jim Beaver stuck his head into the waiting room. “How’s Jensen?”

“He came through it with flying colors, son,” the older man assured him with a chuckle, motioning them to follow him. “He’s in recovery now and might be a little spacey when he starts to wake up, but he’s doing well and the implant meshed perfectly. I think I can safely say that you boys can start planning your next bundle of joy in about 3 months, since it’ll take that long for his body to fully accept the artificial womb and he shouldn’t have any sex for about six weeks or until the stitches are gone.”

Chris pulled the grizzled doctor aside while Jared slipped into the private room to lightly brush his fingers through Jensen’s thick wavy hair before brushing a soft kiss over his brow. “I’m right here, Jen,” he whispered to the sleeping man while silently praying that Jensen wouldn’t be disappointed if this didn’t turn out like he knew his husband was hoping for.

Jensen recovered from the surgery well without any side effects. He complained to Jared that he wasn’t sure they did anything because despite the new faint scar, he didn’t feel any different and when nothing happened after several months of trying, it was plain the young Senator was scared he still couldn’t conceive.

Jared reassured him each time a test came out negative that when it was meant to be it would happen and not to stress too much over it.

When it came time to decide if he’d run for a second term or leave the Senate behind him to return to his family and pick up drawing children’s books again as either a career or a hobby, Jensen knew the answer even before he collapsed on the Senate floor one afternoon and woke up in a hospital in Bethesda, Maryland, with Chris keeping a frantic Jared from throttling a stuttering doctor.

“My husband passes out and you’re telling me there’s nothing wrong with him?” Jared and Nicky were in DC visiting Jensen over Spring break when the call had come that Jensen had been rushed to a hospital after passing out. “He’s pale. He’s been throwing up every morning for a month but swearing he picked up the bug that our son picked up from school. He is not fine! Now do more tests or…”

“Mr. Padalecki, if you’d let me finish,” the calm doctor began again as he heard a soft voice get Jared’s attention and blew out a relieved breath while Chris rolled his eyes. “When I said, Senator Ackles-Padalecki was fine I just meant he hadn’t hit his head when he fell and that he wasn’t sick from your son’s flu bug. What he is, is very fine for a 35 year old healthy man who is nine weeks pregnant,” he smiled as three sets of stunned eyes pinned him. “Congratulations, Senator. I believe you will also set the milestone for being the first pregnant Senator who may give birth before your term in office is over. I’ll be contacting Dr. Beaver so he can start your pre-natal care immediately.”

After the doctor left and Chris excused himself to make a few dozen phone calls himself, while vowing he’d never get this image out of his head, Jensen was still staring at the small sonogram photo that right then didn’t show much unless one knew what to look for. And he knew exactly what to look for.

“Jensen?” Jared moved to sit on the bed, wrapping his arms around his shaking husband and kissing his temple. “This is good, right?” he asked quietly. He’d been stunned and then excited but he was keeping his own emotions buried until he saw Jensen’s reaction. “Jen? This is… what we wanted, right?”

Jensen slowly looked over at him, tears in his bright green eyes before he threw his arms around Jared to hold onto him. “We’re having a baby!” he said, tears in his voice as he began to smile fully; meeting Jared’s kiss completely. “I’ve been so scared that I couldn’t actually become pregnant again and now I am and… holy shit,” he breathed as it began to hit him. “Jared, our son is going to be 13 years old when this baby is born. We’re going to have a teenager and an infant.”

“Yeah, but Nicky is going to adore his little brother or sister, and thankfully we’ve been blessed to not have a typical snotty teenager so I think we can handle this, Jen,” Jared chuckled, letting Jensen take his hand to press it against his still flat stomach. “You’re going to be fine, sugar. I’ll be right there with you through it all, just like I was with Nicky.”

“And this time… this time I’ll be there to help you raise this baby,” Jensen vowed, voice deeper with emotions as he thought that he had no real experience with raising a child since he’d missed out on Nicky’s infancy and being a toddler. “I have no idea what to do or…”

Jared smiled and settled on the bed with a rambling Jensen in his arms to hold him while kissing his face until slowly he felt him start to relax. “I’ll show you and you can read up on it or talk to Gen who says their little girl is already too much like Chad for her comfort. We can do this, Jensen. We will do this.”

Jensen lifted his head to meet Jared’s eyes with a nervous little smile that reminded Jared that regardless of how snarky Jensen might be on the floor of the Senate, he could still be the uncertain, shy young man that had battled back from years of pain. “Will you keep me calm when my hormones get the best of me or I start complaining that I’m fat?” he asked and recalled those moments nearly 13 years earlier when he’d been carrying their son.

“Jen, I let you throw things at me when you were carrying Nicky and needed to vent,” Jared reminded him with a smile, framing Jensen’s face between his palms as he went on slowly. “And you will be never be fat in my eyes. You’re always beautiful to me and the fact that you’re carrying our son or daughter will make you even more so.”

“Flatterer,” Jensen chuckled but settled in Jared’s strong arms to wait for the doctor’s to release him. “We’re not waiting nine months to find out the sex this time either, Jay,” he declared. “I don’t have that much patience and we need to know what color you’re making those morons of Chris’s paint the nursery.”

“Whatever you want, sugar,” Jared chuckled and started making mental notes of what to do, what they’d need, and what would have to change in the next nine months.

The PR person out of Jensen’s senate office broke the news to the press and the public two months later to announce that Senator Ackles-Padalecki and his husband were expecting their second child shortly before the end of Jensen’s term in office, but that the Senator would continue his duties until his doctor’s decided it was time for him to ease back to make sure both he and his daughter would be safe and healthy.

It wasn’t easy to get Jared to agree to allow Jensen to work once he got into his sixth month because while Jim Beaver and Jensen’s obstetrician both said he and the baby girl were healthy and doing well, he was getting tired quickly and often. But Jensen had insisted he keep up his schedule, even though when he first began to show more and his emotions were on an overwhelming overdrive, every snide comment he’d overheard had needed Alaina Huffman to come to the hallowed halls to deal with the situation privately. Afterwards, not another word was uttered, to Jensen himself or behind his back, about his weight or how unseemly it was for a man in his position to carry a child.

At his last public appearance, in a speech he gave in San Antonio to a group of supporters, he had paused in the middle of a sentence to place his hand on his very rounded stomach to murmur something too low for the microphone to pick up. But then went back into his speech about never giving up hope and the belief that with time all things can change and are possible.

“Six years ago, I believed that due to hate and cruelty I’d never know the joy of bringing another child into this world and now in a little over two months or so I’ll be holding my little girl; my son will have a little sister. So don’t think that you can’t do this because while men might not have been doing it as long as you ladies, we _have_ been doing it and one day, we won’t be looked down on for it. Thank you,” Jensen smiled and stepped off the stage and into his husband’s arms to willingly let Jared support him as Justin Hartley stood off to the side radioing someone to bring the car up because he was afraid this kid would pop out if Jensen walked too much.

“I’m done, Jay,” he murmured as Justin drove them home. “I won’t have this kid in Washington, D.C. I want her to come at home… in North Carolina. I want to go home now.”

They’d discussed leaving Texas once his term was over and no matter where they talked about moving, both men always seemed to return to Birkshead. A very helpful Sam Ferris had helped them find a nice home with a yard for Nicky, their dogs since now they had two as Nemo had found a girlfriend much to Jared’s surprise one day, and their little girl.

Jared had noticed Jensen had never fully adjusted to Texas again and while Nicky had been happy enough, there’d been something missing for both of them. Jared agreed happily to move back to Birkshead, with only the regret of leaving the older couple who’d become surrogate grandparents to Nicky and who had been doing so much to spoil their unborn daughter; but the Bakers had assured Jared that they’d be happy to travel if they were welcome.

“You both will always be welcome,” he promised after they’d picked up their 13 year old son who had his moments now and then that tested even Jared’s patience. However, Nicky knew his limits and never pushed, especially when Jensen spoke in what the teenager liked to call ‘Dad’s ticked off Senator voice’.

That was how Jensen came to be sitting in the study of their home in North Carolina, giving a TV interview with Danneel, while Jared was pacing off camera and getting growled at by an equally nervous Chris since the Doctor had flat out said Jensen was probably going to go into labor any day now and had ordered no stress or extra activity.

“The polls showed you could’ve easily won another term in office but yet you had already chosen to only do the one term, why?” Danneel had asked as the hour long interview was wrapping up.

She’d kept the questions general for the most part, refusing to ask the few her colleagues had wanted her to ask as she felt them too personal for a live interview given that while Jensen had always been open about his and Jared’s lives, there had been topics he’d coldly shut down on and refused to answer. She could also see how pale he seemed to be getting as he sat in the chair across from her, his hand rubbing over the stretched material of his t-shirt since he was dressed casually that day.

“I took the first term to prove that I could do it, that I could help get laws put into motion to protect those with very little to no voice in government and I did that. I…” Jensen paused for another moment to take a slow breath and gently rub over his active daughter, only Danneel and an eagle-eyed Mark noticed that his hand had slipped lower each time he made the soothing motion. “I did it and now it’s time to move on. It’s time to hopefully turn my seat over to someone who will continue to work for everyone, but especially those with this gene. I want to raise my children, live my life, and maybe pick up a hobby again. But now…” he took another breath before sliding his eyes past the camera to catch Jared’s curious gaze. “Now… I think I want to go to the hospital since my water broke about 30 minutes ago.”

**TBC**

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Remember Us**

** **

**Chapter 19**

The entire study went silent with that sudden announcement and then, like a flip was switched, people started moving and shouting all at once.

“Holy shit!” Danneel swore without caring if they were still on the air as she jerked off her microphone while Jared was already beside the chair and Chris was growling to shut the damn cameras off or he’d shut them off his way. “Why didn’t you say anything, Jensen?” she demanded.

“I… didn’t want to stop the interview or anything and I thought she’d wait a while like Nicky did,” Jensen replied in a voice tight with pain and more than a little worry as he lifted his eyes up to Jared. “I don’t think she wants to wait, Jay.”

Jared had been worried about the baby coming early but the doctors had all been surprised, given this was Jensen’s first conception with the artificial womb, that their daughter hadn’t come much earlier than this since most males rarely carried to the start of their ninth month— but Jensen had. Now it was plain all that baby patience was over and their daughter was eager to come into the world.

“How far apart are the contractions, Jensen?” he asked while hearing Justin on the phone with the hospital while Mark Sheppard was shouting into his own phone about getting a bloody damn ambulance because he was not delivering any babies. And if he had to, then he wanted a damn bloody raise. “Jen? How far apart are they?”

Jensen bit his lip while letting Chris touch him to help Jared get him to his feet only to nearly buckle when a strong contraction suddenly hit him. “Oh… about three minutes now,” he said and realized he’d messed up by trying to tough it out. “Jared? Don’t be mad?”

Jared wasn’t angry, but he was scared out of his mind. It took him a moment to realize he’d zoned out until he felt fingers squeezing his hand and heard Danneel shouting for someone to call Samantha because there was no way in hell Jensen was making it to the hospital and for Jared to get his head out of his ass and get his husband up to their bedroom before their daughter was born in the middle of the damn study.

“It’s okay, Jen. It’s all gonna be fine,” he snapped back to support Jensen as he and Chris got him up the winding staircase and into the large Master bedroom to prop him up on the bed; after a mini war nearly erupted between Chris and the in labor man when Jensen refused to sit on the bed until it was stripped and covered on plastic. “Jensen…”

“I’ll buy you a goddamn new mattress set after this is over! Just get on the bed, Jensen!” Chris snapped, ignoring a cough from the door and Jared’s warning glare. “Your stubborn determination is the reason this kid is being born at home and not in the hospital where both of your doctors are, so right now this is my pissed off federal agent tone that I have only used on you three times since dragging your ass out of Texas! Get on the bed and push this little girl out! Then you or Jared can punch me out for talking to you like this!”

Jensen shot him a mutinous glare but then gasped when another contraction hit him and he sat down, leaning back on the pillows Jared piled behind him while Danneel hurried into the room.

“Your men are useless,” she told the stressed out agent with a huff as she pulled her hair up into a sloppy pony tail. “There’s one boiling gallons of water while the other one is trying to Google how to deliver a baby. Only the cute blond is any help, and all he did was kick my camera crew out before I could and call Sam and Chad while saying that Dr. Beaver is on his way from the hospital. Now, stop glaring at him because you know he’s right,” she chided Jensen while pulling sheets and blankets from the closet and telling Jared to help Jensen undress. “When you had Nicky was it natural or C-Section?”

Chris made a gagging noise as he retreated to go see what the hell his team was doing but paused in the door to give the wide-eyed suddenly nervous man on the bed a supportive smile.

“Natural… but the doctors weren’t sure if I’d be able to deliver this baby like that considering things,” Jensen answered, leaning up to let Jared slide behind him to offer support as the front door was heard opening, closing, and Samantha Ferris shouting about ‘stupid morons’ and to ‘soak those items in the boiling water before wrapping them up and bringing them to her untouched’. “Jared, we can’t have the baby here. What… what if something happens? This is my fault. I… I knew second babies didn’t take the same time but… I’m sorry. I…”

“Shhh, calm down. It’s going to be fine, Jen,” Jared’s nerves were on edge but he knew he needed to appear calm for Jensen’s sake. He kissed the top of Jensen’s head once he slumped back against Jared after breathing through a contraction. “Yeah, you should’ve told me you’d gone into labor, but now it’s too late. Now we deal with this and both you and our little girl will be fine.”

Jensen stared into Jared’s calm face and drew some strength from him as he tried to center himself for whatever was to come. “I swear, the next baby? I will have him or her in a hospital.”

“Can we just bring this impatient little Padalecki into the world before you two start planning for another one?” Sam asked with a motherly smile as she hurried into the bedroom to look at the men calmly. “Well, let’s see how far along you are Jensen.”

Most people in the small town referred to Jensen still as Senator, since he was technically still one and they probably always would, but those who’d known him from that rough first week called him Jensen… except for Chad, who usually called him something else when frustrated with why the hell they’d moved back when he figured anyplace bigger would be more acceptable.

“I didn’t want acceptable. I wanted home and this is where my son grew up for six years and where I want him to finish growing up,” Jensen had said in return and still believed that and said so when asked by people why he’d choose a small North Carolina town over Texas when he was fully out of the Senate.

Danneel had spread a sheet over Jensen’s spread legs to offer what little privacy they could manage right then. The sounds of sirens could be heard in the distance which said there was an ambulance coming, but one look at Sam’s face clearly said they’d be too late.

“Run and get me a towel out of the dryer and do it quick,” Sam instructed her while looking up. “Jared, you let Jensen hold onto your hands and when I tell you to push, you push with all your strength, honey,” she encouraged him as more feet could be heard pounding on the steps. “Your patient decided to do this without you, Dr. Beaver.”

Jim Beaver hadn’t waited to ride with the ambulance. He’d grabbed Jensen’s obstetrician and drove them himself, fearing the entire way what they’d find when they arrived since in all his time doing this and dealing with deliveries via the artificial womb, it had always been done in a hospital in case there was any trouble for the father or the baby.

Of course as he’d been saying earlier that week, Jensen’s pregnancy was causing him to want to start drinking again. The young man’s body had accepted the implant like it was natural and while he’d had trouble conceiving at first, the older man believed that had been partly due to the stress of his job.

The pregnancy had been normal as well but he’d honestly expected Jensen to deliver earlier than this. He’d come to Birkshead in preparation to be present when the man did go into labor. He hadn’t expected the call to come, however, that Jensen had gone into a labor during that damn interview and hadn’t told anyone. Now he was praying they didn’t need any special equipment as he hurried into the bedroom.

“How far dilated is he and can you see the…” he started to ask only to be interrupted by a loud cry as Sam turned just enough to lift her eyebrows at the stunned doctors as Danneel ran in with an armful of nice warm towels for her to wrap the wriggling angry looking infant up in before holding her out to her stunned but exhausted looking father. “Well I’ll be damned.”

“Here you go, boys,” Sam smiled as she laid the baby on Jensen’s chest after the doctor cut the cord and then dealt with everything else that needed done. “Did we pick a name for this sweet little girl yet or are we still planning to flip a coin?”

From the moment they’d learned they were having a daughter, Jensen and Jared had gone over lists of names until they both settled on a short list. They’d still been deciding up to the day but as Jensen looked down at the scrunched face of the child in his shaking arms he knew in his heart what name he’d chosen and looked up at Jared whose arms had tightened around him while struggling to control the tears that wanted to come as he watched Jensen hold their daughter for the first time.

“Grace Renee Padalecki,” Jensen whispered as tears slid free until a gentle hand brushed them aside before lips met his in a soft loving kiss.

“I love you so much, Jensen,” Jared murmured and then gave a watery laugh when big eyes slowly opened to look at them. “And you too little Grace Renee. She looks like you, sugar.”

“She’s five minutes old and all scrunchy looking, so let’s hold off on saying which one of us she looks like yet,” Jensen chuckled and then went rigid when his obstetrician went to reach for the baby. “No.”

“Jensen, we need to take you and the baby to the hospital to get checked over and everything,” Jim Beaver remarked after hearing the man’s tone drop and seeing the way he brought the baby closer to him. “Jared can come with us in the ambulance and you can hold your daughter the entire way. I swear; no one’s going to hurt either of you.”

Jensen stared at the man who’d given him this second chance at a family a little warily as if suddenly not trusting the man not to make off with his daughter. “I have to go?” he asked Sam instead of the professionals in the bedroom.

“I’m afraid so, honey,” Sam replied while stepping closer to reassure him; understanding that Jensen’s phobia of hospitals was far from over. “It’s regulation that all home births, especially a situation like this one, be examined at the hospital.”

Jared wasn’t happy with this either but he knew he had to pretend or else Jensen would refuse and he wanted to be sure both husband and baby were healthy. He was about to speak up when Jensen looked at him, frowned more and then blew out a breath.

“Kane!” Jensen called but not loud enough to scare the infant who now seemed very content being snuggled against her Daddy’s warm chest.

“Yo!” Chris stuck his head in from where he’d been waiting in the hall while his team was hiding out downstairs except for Justin who he’d sent to pick Nicky up at a friend’s house. “Mark’s out buying cigars for Jared to pass out later by the way.”

Jensen was tired but he still smirked at that image. “They say the baby and I have to go to the hospital,” he began while giving the paramedics who’d entered with a stretcher a hard stare.

“Yeah, I heard that mentioned,” Chris replied while stepping into the bedroom after whistling for Matt Cohen to get his ass upstairs in case he needed a medical translator. “Matt will ride along since he’s my team medic so…”

“No, you’re coming along,” Jensen cut him off firmly, holding the infant firmly while the paramedics helped move him to the stretcher. “You’re coming and you’re staying with our daughter until they bring her back to me and Jared. And if Cohen hints that one thing is done that shouldn’t be, you better shoot somebody or I will shoot you.”

Danneel’s fine eyebrows lifted as Jared hid his smile while Chris looked at Jensen for a long moment before finally shrugging. “Okay, whatever but if I have to shoot a nurse, you’d better be ready to explain that to Alaina.”

Jared and Chris rode in the ambulance with Jensen and the baby while Mark and Matt followed in another car with Danneel and Sam. It took an order from the newly arrived Sheriff to get Jared to leave Jensen’s side, but he did so only because he had a clipboard full of forms to fill out.

He was nearly done when he heard the familiar sound of his son’s sneakers running down the hallway to skid into the waiting room.

At 13, Nicky was already tall and lanky. His blond hair hadn’t turned dark and his freckles had remained as well, much to his dismay. Right then his face was flushed from running from the parking lot. “Where’s Dad? Where’s the baby? Justin said he had her in the house? Eeww. Where is she? What’s her name? Where’s Dad and are they both okay?” he asked all in a rush of words.

Jared stood to deliver the clipboard to the patient nurse who told him that Dr. Beaver would be finished shortly but that he and his son could go on up to the room, which they did.

He answered all of Nicky’s questions while catching a hold of the back of his shirt to keep him from bolting the moment they were out of the elevator. Catching sight of Chris down the hall told Jared that they must have finished examining the baby and had brought her back to Jensen’s private room where he’d have to stay at least overnight; something that didn’t please anyone but was part of the rules.

“Both you and your daughter are healthy, Jensen,” Jim was saying as Jared opened the door. “You’re the first of my patients to give birth naturally where the womb didn’t even so much as tear. It reacted perfectly like your real one had when you gave birth to this handsome young man.”

Nicky made a face at the thought of his birth but then he was distracted by tiny waving hands and went to peer into the tiny pink bassinet beside his father’s bed to stare at his new sister. “She’s tiny,” he said at first, looking back. “Can I touch her finger?”

Jensen nodded and tried to sit up only he had to admit now he was exhausted and sore so let Jared help him move the bed into a better position to smile as he and Jared watched their son lightly touch a tiny hand that immediately tried to grab onto his finger.

“Was I this tiny?” he asked curiously, grinning at the faces the baby was making. “How come she doesn’t have freckles? If I got Dad’s freckles then she needs them too.”

“Yes, you were this tiny and she may get a few as she gets bigger. You didn’t have freckles immediately,” Jared replied. “So… it’s all good?” he asked the doctor after lifting Grace up to lay her in Jensen’s arms with a curious Nicky sitting on the bedside. “They’re both healthy and… no effects that I should know about?”

“You have a beautiful and healthy daughter and while Jensen will be tired for a few days, he checked out as healthy too,” Jim nodded as a cry went up and Nicky jumped while covering his ears and asking how long would she be doing that. “Oh… I figure a little under two years pretty steady and then on and off for a good 16 years.”

The teenage boy shot the doctor a wide eyed look so much like Jensen could and then back at the baby. “Dad? I know I said I wanted a baby brother or sister… but is it too late to send her back and get another puppy?”

“Yes, way too late, kiddo,” Jensen laughed, adding with a smile. “You cried a lot when you were this size. When you wouldn’t sleep at night I’d read to you or sang you to sleep.”

“You sang?” Nicky thought he had faint memories but people always said he was silly since he was a baby the last time he’d seen Jensen before he came back to them. “Will… you sing and read to Grace… and me?” he asked, finger soft as he touched the back of the baby’s little sleeper.

“Yeah, of course I will,” Jensen replied with a warm smile when he felt tiny fingers moving and suspected what his daughter was seeking. “She’s hungry, Jared.”

Jared turned from talking to the doctor to start to suggest Nicky go find Matt or Justin and then find food since the time their open minded son had stumbled onto books on breastfeeding, he’d reacted in much the same way as Chris’s men had and bolted for another part of the house.

“Hey, Mark’s found the cafeteria in this place if the growing teenager wants to go check it out,” Chris said from the door and was instantly met with a grateful smile from Nicky who’d been torn between braving this out or possibly hurting his Dad’s feelings.

“Nick?” Jensen called as his son stood up. It still felt a little odd to use a more grown up form of his name but he and Jared both understood that their son was getting older and they would have to stop calling him Nicky sometime. “You don’t ever have to humor me and stick around if you don’t want to be here when I’m feeding her and stuff. I know you’re a boy and it must seem weird to see your father feeding a baby and…”

“It’s weird for me to see ladies do it. You’re my Dad and if anyone ever says anything about it in front of me, I’ll punch them ‘cause you guys taught me that some guys can have babies like ladies do and some can’t. It’s natural.” Nicky’s dimples came out as he stepped more toward the door as he grinned. “It’s just weird to see right now so I think I’ll go feed my belly while you feed hers… unless she can eat burgers.”

Jared laughed as the door swung shut after hand reached in to snatch the laughing teen by his collar to pull him out. “I’m not sure if he picked up everything we taught him but he got the most important part right. It’s natural and he’s willing to punch people. I also think growing up around Chris’s people might’ve also taught him some bad habits that we might need to break him of later on,” he said while sitting beside his husband. Jensen moved to lean against his shoulder before carefully moving a side of the regulation hospital shirt aside to help their new daughter find and latch onto the nipple for the first time.

When he first became pregnant, no one was certain if Jensen’s body would still produce milk or if it would be safe for the baby even if he did, due to all the drugs he’d been injected with over the years. But when he first noticed how sensitive his upper chest was becoming and noticed the difference as the months progressed, the doctors had tested his milk to assure them that it would be safe to breastfeed the baby for the first few months and then start to wean her onto breastmilk in a bottle and slowly onto formula.

Jensen swallowed thickly as he watched Grace suckle while her tiny fist kneaded and he had a flash to when Nicky had first been born and he’d fed him that first time. “Jay?” he spoke softly, barely above a whisper while running a finger over fine baby soft dark hair. “God, look at her. She’s so perfect.”

“You’re perfect, Jen,” Jared replied, slipping his arm around Jensen’s shoulders to hold him as he fed their daughter. “And you’ve given me two perfect children. I love you so much, Jensen.”

Tipping his head back, Jensen’s lips parted to meet Jared’s kiss fully for long deep kiss. “Thank you for still loving me after so long, Jared,” he whispered in between kisses that were broken by a soft cry that said their daughter wasn’t happy with her Daddy’s lack of attention and after letting her find his other nipple to settle back to finish her meal, Jensen settled back in Jared’s arms to let his own eyes close briefly.

To not only be back with his son and Jared after so long of not knowing who he was really and to be able to have another child with his husband after his family had cruelly tried to take that away from him, Jensen finally believed he’d moved past the man he’d been and could step into the man he’d always wanted to be. He only had to wait two more months until his term in the Senate was over and then he’d be free to return to his family fully and not have any other obligations.

** Two Months Later: Washington, DC: **

Jensen had cleared out his office a few weeks earlier since he’d done most of his work from his home office, refusing to leave Jared with a teenager and an infant until he had to, and for this final time in the nation’s capital he’d brought his family with him.

He’d talked this over with people and had gotten their blessing so as he stepped onto the Senate floor for the last time, he felt happy and relaxed. Jensen was proud of his accomplishments and he hadn’t said he’d never run for office again; he just wanted to wait until his children were grown because it took too much away from his family to focus fully on his duties to this office or any other.

“I want to thank my fellow Senators for allowing me this time before I leave this floor for the last time. I’d like to thank all of you for six interesting years,” he looked around him. “I made some friends, I made some enemies, but I also feel like I made a difference. When I came in here, I know most of the senior Senators saw a wet behind the ears, gay guy who’d be a pushover… I proved you wrong. I like to think that perhaps some of you who were on the fence of understanding what it means to be a gay man who carries a gene that marks us as even more different than usual, came to understand a bit more, but in case you haven’t… let me show you what I was fighting for freedom and protection for.”

Jensen walked to the side of the room where Jared stood with their awe-struck son and a quietly watching two month old Grace to take the baby while motioning to Nicky to follow him back to the center of the room where several surprised eyes could be seen opening wider, but also there were soft ‘ohhs’ and ‘ahs’ as well.

“This is what I fought for and what I hope those of you who claim to want to protect those who carry the MPG will fight for. This is my son, Nicholas. He was one month old when I was abducted by bigots who called themselves family. He was seven when I was freed from that horror and found my way back to his father and him. And this…” Jensen jiggled the giggling baby girl until her laughter echoed in the room. “This is Grace and she is two months old. She is the result of my husband’s love for me, a lot of luck, and an implant that allowed me and can allow other men who were hurt like I was, to have a family.

“So remember the next time you vote on a bill to remove the rights or take away the freedoms of people like me, that there are other lives involved, because as you all can see my children are just like yours or your grandchildren. Jared and I love them and I hope one day when Grace is grown up, she won’t have to explain to her children why grown-ups hate, like Jared had to tell Nick when he was growing up. Thank you,” Jensen gave a final nod and as the room burst into a surprising amount of applause. He met Jared by the side door that would take the family out of the building and soon out of the city that he really wouldn’t miss.

“Now can I lose the tie?” the teenager asked as he ran down the steps to the waiting limo.

“Yes, you and your father can both lose the ties,” Jensen chuckled but his smile dimmed as he noticed Chris leaning on the limo. “Hey.”

Chris pushed off the car to wink at Nicky who dove into the car to play with the buttons he’d found there earlier. “Justin’s escorting you guys back to Birkshead and then if you need anything, or if anyone tries to contact you ever, then call the number Alaina gave you and it’ll be handled,” he told them while giving into the urge to tickle the adorable little girl who was starting to get freckles even though her hair so far was remaining dark like Jared’s. “I said once you were done with this that you’d never see me again and this time I mean it. I never expected you or Jared to forgive me, Jensen… but I just want to say that I’m proud to have watched you prove to those ass… to those people that they didn’t destroy you. I’m also glad you and Jared are together and you could have the family you wanted. Take care of them, Padalecki,” he said after shaking Jared’s hand and turning to go.

Jensen was silent as he watched his former friend start to walk away down the sidewalk. He passed Grace off to Jared before giving a shout. “Chris!”

Chris stopped dead but took his time in turning. In the six years since helping Jensen to escape his tormentors, it was rare for Jensen to actually use his first name, or if he did it wasn’t when he was consciously thinking about it, like he had just then.

“Yeah?” he turned slowly to frown as Jensen took a few steps toward him until they were face to face.

“I’m not… saying I forgive you because… I’m not sure I ever can. The hate for the years I lost with Nick and Jay is still there but…” Jensen glanced back at Jared before holding out his hand. “I will say that if you’re ever down our way or anything, you’re welcome to stop and maybe… we could see about being friends again.”

Chris stared at the extended hand for a moment before reaching out to shake it, understanding the step Jensen had just taken and what it meant that he had. “Thank you,” he murmured. “And I might just do that sometime. Take care of yourself and those kids, Jensen.”

Jensen stood still to watch the man walk away and then went back to slip into the limo with his family, seeing that Grace was buckled into her car seat that he didn’t know where it had come from. Justin had just said he wasn’t driving the baby unless she had one and had somehow shown up with one.

“You okay now, sugar?” Jared asked once they were on the way to the airport and the plane that would take them back to North Carolina and soon to their home.

Looking at his son, over to his gurgling baby and then finally at Jared, Jensen smiled. “Yeah, I’m good, Jay,” he nodded and moved to sit beside him to take a second to wonder what their future would hold. He knew whatever it was, it would be perfect because he had his family and wasn’t ever going to forget that again. “Let’s go home.”

**The End**

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**Here are some icons spikesSire also created for this story. Enjoy and thank you for reading!**

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**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this one. I hope you enjoyed it and the awesome art. I'll have more stories out soon.


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